Week 14: Mr. J (7-5-1) vs 2Tripple0 (5-4) [OPEN FOR VOTES]

[2tripple0]

Season 6

Verses are due MONDAY 6/6 (ext. 6/7) at 11:59 PST

Voting ends WEDNESDAY 6/8 at 11:59 PST

Verses May Not Exceed 48 Lines

Voting on four battles is required. If you win and don't vote the requirement you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote the requirement, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your four votes in the voting thread.



Topic:

http://i.imgur.com/YmHbgds.jpg


G/Luck Mr. J (7-5-1) 2tripple0 (5-4)

[2tripple0]

Hi there I am far behind a finished product
Erupting like a volcanoe every weekend at the clubs
Everyone looked up and shrugged
Sweep you like you were underneath a rug
Love to push and shove like Danny Glover in the box
If the left missing then I bet my red one Sox
Please it's not funny more bars made of gold than fort Knox
Carried a large cross like a momma in a babies cradle
Best in the stable something to connect with like cable
More supplies than staples turn a toad into a snow angel
It's like a game of snooker you use a cue and it all about angles
End up sitting round me like a table you just a tree that be serving some maple
Lol yeah you rubbed off in a puddle like you were some syrup
Eat ya pancakes best let my earth shattering content search for a product
Passing a torch around the world carry an atlas travelled the globe
The iron starts to rust searching for an outlet like my peeps switch you off call you a plug
She armed her massive jugs like each tit was a slugg
Man fuck it y'all can't even take a joke
She was on the ropes Tommy had his fair share in his day
But he always returned his love when the rejection faded he'd keep her subordinate claims
Rather the shade and the amber clamper of getting a raise in his pay
She never learned people always make the same mistakes
It wasn't the large impossibility of fame but the thought of getting on stage
She laughed at things that didn't go their way and would get lost in his eyes like a rat a cage
Or a garden filled with passages and trails to lead you through like a maze
The snow suddenly capped in his age like a mountain I started climbing
Like inflation her pigeon fingers rising to rest her wings while flying
The moon's reflected face in our early lives is so becoming and antagonizing

[Mr. J]

My watch is a day late, my jacket makes an odd pair.
I speculate why Im an Aprils fool awaking with March hair.
theres a spot downtown where men of all manner roam
an underground tavern host to all sorts of rabid folk
Im late to a meeting with Peter at the Cottontail
a hired hand working undercover with a spot in jail.
Peter gathered some information regarding my father
As an alias my investigation was on who framed Roger
Peter had met the unappreciated muscle known as Thumper
known for his quick footwork & voice made of thunder..
he relayed some interesting tales regarding the Cadburys
then he swore on the hole where his aunts buried...
a new boss named Bugsy was taking over with one finger..
he pointed it at the funny bone & took down gunslingers.
he had a knack for playing instruments with other talents
embezzling numerous karats to Albuquerque & Paris...
Bugsy could change the season & leave you embarrassed.
a jack of all trades who paved the way for crooks like you.
a few nights ago we bugged his room at the Goodnight Moon
he started getting sloppy. a victim to the same habits..
there were too many ideas in his Pinball mind that ricocheted rapid
Bugsy knew Rogers wife Jessica worked the night-shift
and near the dressing room...I heard him...her...in private...
upon closer inspection...I hear the claps to patty cake..
I adjust my helmet, as the adrenaline kicked in, I began to shake
I couldn't wait...the clock ticks...Im late...
Im late...for....a very important.....date


http://i.imgur.com/YmHbgds.jpg


Detective Darko

[Artifice]

2tripple0

Dude, I just didn't get it. You start off talking in the first person, then you suddenly switch to third? is Tommy the guy in the club at the beginning? it just seems so loose, the plot doesn't develop at all really, it just jumps from spot to spot. Also, I like that you try using a lot of metaphors, similes, and other literary devices. But you've got to try and be a little more outside the box with them. The way you use them is fairly simple by today's standards, it reminds me of late 80s early 90s hiphop in some ways... overall, i like that you're still doing it, i just want to see you keep improving.


Mr. J

Dope piece here. I dug it. The narrative wasn't rushed, it moved nicely. Flow was on point, nothing outstanding but it was fluid and easy to read. Concept wise I really like what you did, and the incorporation of all the rabbit references didn't feel forced at all and I enjoyed every one of them. This is a type of piece I fucks with. Really enjoyed the read.

v/ Mr. J

[e11even]

Tripple- I am convinced that something is up with you. But, your offbeat, uneven, illogical and poorly rhymed bars were definitely consistent with your more common voice. This is the unfunny version of a Chocolate Droppa rap verse (Google that). Best bar hands down:

More supplies than staples turn a toad into a snow angel

Good job...?

Mr. J- have I ever told you I highly dislike who you have become? Anywho, this piece was genius. It read like the setup in a 50s detective flick. Using all famous rabbit names was very cool. The final name is of one of my favorite movies of all time. So yea, I fucking hate your guts but this was primo cut. Good job.

Both contenders showed up in considerable length (pause) but one outshined the other in content, delivery and focus. MVGT Mr. J.

[Adonis]

2K it seems like you been writing the exact same verse for most of this season. It's about some deep rooted personal shit with wild references that don't connect nor fit in, not even complex ones at that. Then you will have a diss or two randomly followed by more thoughts that seem to have zero direction at all. Not a good read

Jay - I wish you didn't have to waste this verse here. If you went up against a monster like NYC or Certain with this idea and expanded and fleshed out that shit would have been epic. As is, you win by default in a clear as day landslide. Original concept executed well.


v/j

[Frank]

2Tripple0, you never cease to amaze me with your quirky punch lines and jestering bantering. Your vocabulary is underrated in it's hazardous formatting. Occasionally you will pull a big word out of your hat that dumbfounds me. Their are wise sentiments in your foolishness. Always a character, Eg: Sarah, Becky,.Etc that you mention without any forewarning. Lots of left field one liners. You've become a satirical enigma. Poking fun at yourself at the expense of others. A traveling freak show of sorts.

Mr. J, zany concept. Verse was littered with rabbit references, playing around with the concept in in a funny, binky way. Got very nostalgic towards the patty cake line for me. Brilliant flick. Interesting read.

MVG2J

[asylum]

So J decided to go with an approach of actually rhyming, where 2k did not.

so he obviously wins. ?

MVGT Mr. J

[timeless]

Looool @ half of 2trips verse being recycled from last week.

[UnbornBuddha]

I liked some of the wording in Trip's verse, alas Mr. J wrote a verse that was enjoyable all around. It was fun to read, it was creative, well-written, and interesting. Some of J's rhymes were not as spectacular as I would had liked, nevertheless very creative.

Vote: J