idk

[YDK]

I need peace to speak my mind,
A peace of mind to give a piece of mine
I pine to teach this.. Grief; this sign
Speaks to me each crease, each line
My cheeks have shined (for weeks at times)
Beneath the the streaks that leaked through eyes
The heat, the lies, that wreaked demise
And I've been beaten down from peaks so high
That even seraphs would seek to cry!
But...
This beast inside; at least it hides
From the weakness that I've described
For when I weep the meek will rise
Like a phoenix that I keep (my pride)
I've felt defeated; to my sweet surprise
I never won;
But at least survived.

[Mr. J]

I thought this was a pretty cool short poetry piece.
toyed with something similar to this recently.
didnt really enjoy the thought of your cheeks shining
whatever that means...
regardless those first couple of lines remind me of Return of The G...
pretty good for a rusty piece.

[YDK]

I thought this was a pretty cool short poetry piece.
toyed with something similar to this recently.
didnt really enjoy the thought of your cheeks shining
whatever that means...
regardless those first couple of lines remind me of Return of The G...
pretty good for a rusty piece.

Thanks man I appreciate that, the shiny cheek thing is just a way of saying tears, wet cheeks... You get it lol just a fun piece to get back in the swing of rhyming really

[UnbornBuddha]

Yes it had nice rhythm to it, some couplets were a bit strange, i.e. the aforementioned " My cheeks have shined (for weeks at times) Beneath the the streaks that leaked through eyes"
But besides that I enjoyed the fast paced rhythm of it.

[Eŋg]

your syntax is horrible. stop rhyming like dagel, you're marginally better than that.

[Exis]

Lol @ marginally better...

Freestyle? If so it's cool.

[YDK]

Lol @ marginally better...

Freestyle? If so it's cool.

Yeah basically, was taking a shit an felt like putting some rhymes together basically lol

[Objective]

I enjoyed the simplicity. Straight forward, short and sweet.