Week 1: MMLP (0-0) vs. 2tripple0 (0-0) - MMLP WINS 4-1

[Frank]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 7

Verses are due Thursday 12/15 at 11:59 PST. EXT 12/16 11:59 PST

Voting ends Sunday 12/18 at 11:59 PST

Verses may not exceed 64 lines

Voting on 3 battles is required. If you win and don't vote the requirement you will not receive a victory. If you lose and don't vote the requirement, you will receive a one-week suspension.

Topic: You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

Good luck to both participants MMLP 2tripple0

[MMLP]

Had started taking huge strides when they tackled in herds.
They raised to new heights when they battled in turn
and what began to emerge was a group of foxes.
Who had scattered their turf and it proved symbolic
They grew with confidence moving straight through the core.
In pursuit of dominance, staking their claim in the war.
Where the stakes were enormous for their feasting habits
as they created a fortress within weeks of clashes.
Releasing anguish as they lined up attacks
And wreaking havoc on each rival they matched.
With survivalist tactics, they possessed tenacious stuff.
With guile they clashed with the best that came at em’
Had never caved and ducked whilst hunting the pack
and kept their tails up from the front to the back.
Always up for a scrap, they’d act on an impulse
With an abundance of passion, the plans were as simple.
They were hampered initially, being easily pressed
So to attack from the whistle brought a means to an end.
With a need to protect they were becoming direct
With now attack being the best, form of defense.
As forward they stepped on their ascend to the top.
Restored from the depths, adversaries were rocked.
Now their intentions were obvious when they entered the race.
Soon cementing their spot once ahead in the chase.
Their offensive displays had ignited the crowds.
Building zest in the stadium and excitement around.
After all the hype that surrounded the final premiership matches
Were finally crowning our Leicester as champions
But your questions were answered if you had cared to see
They never had mattered, sole focus was to prepare the team.
Even when they stared defeat in the face, the lads would ride on
So for every,
‘Claudio, do you dare to dream’? It had the same old answer “why not?”

[2tripple0]

..
now i lay me down to sleep
prey the lord my soul to keep
if i die before i wake
pray the lord my soul to take
..


This story was interesting
the way thoughts began collecting
make it clear the plot just ran off at the ending
tied in with the topic which was dope to be honest
to believe that life was just a passing moment
every man deserves to go peacefully
and in their own personal way ending up blending in with the scenery
that the characters were lying inside of the text
stupid bitch and she gives you a fight to the death
I understand this mans suffering his life a disaster
It still didnt help as i slept in this delerious cabbern
i dont have all the answers
but i still handle myself by a kind of standard
my problem was difficult to interpret like someone with cancer
was one more important than the other?
what a life this story had to offer
he would adjust his posture
but didnt realize that he was still acting like a loser
yeah i bet you swear you think you wasnt positive
if we were to just sit back and stop acknowledging it
but nothing seemed clear the moment kept on blossoming
it would have been such a problem for it all to end right there
I mean if i killed my uncle? It wouldnt have been fair...
there was still so much work that needed to be done
so i started to stare at the sun and redeemed in its throne
it was so illusive I had to sit back and sail around sea for a bit
suddenly as a fish jumped out the water and all around in its own bliss
by not understanding its connection to local legend
there were mammoth endorphins trying to rob us of its full effect
contained inside our experiences with one another
I ended up hibernating for the night like a otter
so is life really worth that much and how do you decide?
I mean are you really prepared to die tonight
People prey before they slept as they were scared for their lives...
and gods is cruel in a way he is just there to die for his people
I mean even though life is scary and a lotta of it is or was evil.


..
now i lay me down to sleep
prey the lord my soul to keep
if i die before i wake
pray the lord my soul to take
..

[Adonis]

A straight topical with an Angle against an introspective type emotionally driven verse. LP had the better use of topic for sure. 2k has improved during the off season, far better mechanics then what I'm accustomed to from you. 2k verse was cool, but a bit too.... Idk, sensitive or touchy Feely LP when the more difficult route in terms of concept I believe, and still executed at higher level. The rust is apparent though

V/mmlp

[Legion Of Cocks in my mouth]

I think MM grasped the topic a little better. Honestly I was expecting a lot worse from 2trip. I can tell you're still struggling with forming an idea of the topic and making something abstract out of it. MM tied a nice story into his piece as well as staying on topic. 2trip also had some grammatical errors which hurt him in this one. MM takes this.

[Razah]

So far, the best topic given that I've seen.

I've seen MMLP write better, and basing it off that, this verse was okay. Like, barely pass the okay threshold, Lol. I dunno, I just feel like this topic could've been interpreted by both so much better.

Anyways, 2K, probably the best verse I've read from you, to be honest. I see you're slowly getting better, and it seems like you're able to focus on a topic more & make a more cohesive thought process. But, you're quite not there yet. I liked the personal approach type verse, but there's so many things about that that I disliked, and if I went into detal about all those critiques, I might come off as a dick. But anyways, it's little things like grammar used, or certain wording. Also, some stuff you said was just not factual & it irked me. This line for example:

I ended up hibernating for the night like a otter


That really bugged me because, A) Otters don't hibernate & B) you can't hibernate for the night, that literally defeats the purpose of words having definitions.

Also, throne / done not rhyming really irked me :/

So like I said, although I wasn't too impressed by MMLP's verse this time around, it was still better than 2K's, although he's been improving himself.

vMMLP

[Frank]

MVGT: 2tripple0

MMLP returned in rare form. Superb flow, story progression, and rhythm. Cunning. Strong linear writing concluded satisfyingly encouragingly and inspirational there. I just identified with 2tripple0's more quizzical interpretation of the topic more. I ultimately truly believe he encapsulated the topic more interestingly. Technically, MMLP outclassed 2tripple0 here but, 2Tripple0's play on the topic was more clairvoyant to me. Going into further detail in future mag.

[Inno]

Eminem

I feel like your piece was on point with the topic although slow at first it picked up and you had some cool wording imagery scattered about. Your story was cool bro, I enjoyed the way you told a descriptive story, you built dope imagery and kept the topic well. I def enjoyed this one

2trip

This was good. This time you kept it coherent through out the entire verse and I was able to decipher a pretty told tale. Your on the cusp of taking your writing to the next level. You have the tools. This time tho I feel like though the twist on the topic was good. Some parts of your verse lacked.


Overall

Good battle but I got mmlp 2trip was nice but mmlp takes this one.

Vote mmlp