Week 3: 2Tripple0 vs. InsaneVillain [IV 6-0]

[Adonis]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 7

Verses are due Thursday 1/5 at 11:59 PST. EXT 1/6 11:59 PST

Voting ends Sunday 1/8 at 11:59 PST

Verses may not exceed 48 lines

Voting on 3 battles is required. If you win and don't vote the requirement you will not receive a victory. If you lose and don't vote the requirement, you will receive a one-week suspension.


Topic: A Future Lost


Insanevillain 2tripple0

[Insanevillain]

In...

[2tripple0]

right im checking but ive got no ideas just going drop one of my fresh jawns yeah

[Insanevillain]

BOOM!!!

A Future Lost

After our latest election Im stressed over our country;s direction
This transgression could lead to the next great depression
No progression, in chicago the murder rate will stack, climb faster
And no one understands that black lives matter
Fill those crack pipes fatter… cops wont take you out in handcuffs
They killin niggas daily, shootin’ us with our hands up
We should stand up.. But now they see trump as our solution
And people are too blinded by the media, to spark a revolution
Instead its confusion, decisions based on religion
That cant be proved, so all it causes is people’s division
From each other, all we need is love to find the answer
But we are distracted by celebrities, our own private dancers
So we climb the ladder, take abuse dealt by cops
Their dream is to be one race… and throw away the melting pot
Leave us all shot, i envision us all on that milk carton missin’
The future’ is lost… all of us dead, or locked up in prison

[2tripple0]

A Future Lost A Future Lost A Future Lost

this story began like any other
im like the godfather you wont refuse my offer
you aint creative even tho
everybody in the leagues defeated you
your on your last legs
im something u already did like it was past tense
i liked it for a moment
like a dagger it was potent it was the pieces content
you started well
but then didnt have a story to tell
locked himself in a cell a slug with no shell
it was all about himself himself and no one else
i was like yeah but then i ran out of depth
probably because i was about to meet with an end
im like new york football but still aint got no bills
im gonna have to patch you up like you was a quilt
you aint got no milk i had to pop you like some pills
you like a fish something with fins and gills
im surrounding you like water around an island
you be feeling so hugh i had to request a couple grants
i like the way this lady plays her hands
im like bob marley you aint understand his advance
my life spans i realize not everything is a rap
and i know this feel like a class and everything about the facts
sometime to survive we need water same way a person grows a plant
im something you counting on like people stacking some cash
i dont pick at trash i tried to pour a glass
ended up so stoned since he couldnt get off his ass
if you were first place then ill never have to say i was outclassed

[Adonis]

2k - another non-banger bro. I'm waiting for that coming out party. something like fish is awful writing, its clear you write fast and don't edit. Many errors, plenty of instances where you didn't rhyme, or where the rhyme just isn't good. I.wish you would improve man, you've been stuck in this bubble for too long.

IV- I think you went the simple or obvious route in terms of concept, but it's a fully loaded concept to say the least. Could have been a full thirty page verse, but you did well considering it was on the shorter side. Opening with ion rhyme scheme is never good because it's a commonly used scheme and the opener and closer should be the highlight imo. You keep a tight rhythm, so I appreciate that. Story is what it is, not one I believe in reality, I think trump might be the cog in the wheel we needed honestly.


V. IV

Stronger grasp on mechanics and overall execution

[Coup]

first dude (insanevillianpad)

I liked
Fill those crack pipes fatter… cops wont take you out in handcuffs
They killin niggas daily, shootin’ us with our hands up


And people are too blinded by the media, to spark a revolution

^True in every sense of the word. The entire system, root and all needs to be cut down.

Very solid handle on topic, never once for a single moment flirting to divert readers attention from the message. thinking on it, you have verse discipline. political content is palatable for a mass audience, that is to say it strikes center left on the paradigm...even though you take shots at the whole system.

since you engaged my political sensibilities i am urged to comment personally:

BLM is reactionary and serves the oppressor in the end. BLM is also organized and founded by the rich bourgeoisie (as far as I understand). It fosters division among the races, their unity. Unity among blacks and whites is extremely terrifying to the oppressing class...so much so.

overall this was a good piece to strike mad conversion.




//

second dude (2trippad)

this story began like any other
im like the godfather you wont refuse my offer

monster opening, godlike potential...

only to follow up with:

you aint creative even tho
everybody in the leagues defeated you
your on your last legs

oh really. we going straight back to diss verse. what a buzz kill

I think you are hiding your ability from everyone. This is laden with talent, but its all mixed up and does not know a proper exit or entrance.


vote: first dude (insanevillianpad)

[Nigma]

Insane, straightforward take of the topic. Social political take with consistency mechanics. Bonus that you didn't have any misses but the lack of hard hitting impacting lines was a detriment. Still a safe angle executed decently.

2000, your rhymes are getting better but still the same issues present as I remember in the past. Lack of content direction and straying too far from the topic to really be able to justify. Your direction is very inconsistent to me, I was not feeling this particular verse.


+1 IV

[Adonis]

Villain up 3-0

[e11even]

MVGT Villain

Villain dropped a very concise verse that voiced concerns of many people coming into 2017 and decent mechanics and structure that didn't distract from the content. But BOOM! though? No one needs one of those against an unfocused keystyle, so that confounds me. Either way good verse. Tripple, however, needs to bring back that version of him that was achieving upset wins not too long ago. Thanks to you both for showing.

[Razah]

easiest fucking battle to vote on.

IV had a decent verse, nothing special about it really. Are you from Chicago? What part, if so? The take on the topic was cool, flow was decent but I feel like the way you went at it could have been more, I dunno what word I'm thinking of right now but, it could have pulled me into the concept more.

2K had a garbage verse.

vInsaneVillain

[Sammy]

IV, my Man U did a verse on the election and social landscape? Because not enough of those has been scribed already. Read this yesterday and I was hoping with another perusing I can pick up on something new but alas it was just as boring. First off I hate "ion" rhyming. Nothing personal it just annoys me lol. It's cheap. Flow wasn't as smooth due to lack of transition imo. I do like some of the scheme employed.

2trip/ from RB to here I see unintelligible nonsense is still something ur doing. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU TALKKNG ABOUT nigga? Tone was al over the place. Image made no sense. Rhyming had the swag of someone who started yesterday. Trip I like u bro for ur thick skin but come on son.

Vote IV because his made sense.