trapezoidal vs Witty - Witty wins

[Ghost1]

Black August


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due October 4th
WEDNESDAY at 11:59 P.M. Pacific/West Coast or THURSDAY October 5th 3:00 AM Eastern / 6:00 AM THURSDAY October 5th Central European/London


Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

[color=red]Voting closes when a clear winner is voted for. Competitors must vote immediately on the other match. Failure to vote will result in being a faggot for a significant portion of ur life.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? You can technically start a life of faggoting immediately but its a slippery slope.

so....

All competitors must vote on as many battles as possible duh u bum ass idiots


Topic:: uh none wtf don't u know what this is?

trapezoidal Witty

[Witty]

Check.

Best of luck man.

[trapezoidal]

Yo.

Good luck to you too sir.

[trapezoidal]

I need to get it all off,
because all the things I love in this world I’ve treated all wrong,
all because I didn't have the strength to bury the hatch,
so now I have to be exact on a path most would feel too scared to match,
owe 1000 words of regret and my text might fall short,
but in the end all of them are called for,
because all that you think I am I’m half the vision it's been all forced,
by the burdens that I’ve placed while pretending to chase,
love because right when I grasped it I still haven't mended the rates,
in which I hold truth to those who deserve transmission,
so I stand a different version of myself in a stance where the words stand missing,
trying to grow until my form solves the stalls of sins,
crying hidden tears hoping that somehow I’m forgiven for all of it...

[Witty]

I kiss you goodbye
Except, I can't..I should..
But I'd miss you...
So I kiss you and cry.

It's been 4 or 5 days, more or less, maybe more?
Lately I can't be sure...
Tomorrow is drifting in to the day before
All I can do is talk, all you can do is stare
I thought we could do with talking it through
It's fair...but the one thing you're not going to do is care
As, at this precise moment, you're incapable of empathy
That fact is inescapable, you're basically an effigy
Of what we were meant to be
I thought our love would eventually overcome
But all you have left me, is cold and numb.

So I had to do the same, I didn't want to
It hurt, but I battled through the pain
Shackled you in chains
Saw the fear in your eyes
FELT the adrenaline crackle through your veins
I beat you black and blue...and THEN
I beat you black and blue again
Embracing my demons
I raped you...while screaming
"IS THIS HOW HE DID IT? IS THIS WHY HE WAS BETTER???
YOU COULD HAVE TALKED TO ME...
SEND ME A TEXT...FUCKIN' WRITE ME A LETTER
BUT NOOOPE, YOU HAD TO GO AND PUT OUR LIFE IN THE SHREDDER
THESE RINGS AND OUR VOWS ARE SUPPOSED TO BIND US TOGETHER
AND IT WILL BITCH...THEY AIN'T NEVER FINDING US...NEVER!!!"


You died that night....your soul is making it's way to hell
Your body's with me, a skeleton, encased in a vacant shell
I had to escape from the neighbours, as you're making a fragance
And there's no mistaking the tainted smell
It's just you and I
I drink some booze and cry
Making myself kiss your face, stare at it and gaze at it
Watching it disintegrate...like the shreds of our relationship.

[Geno]

So i thought trappy came good. Feel you couldve come harder though man. Like your technique ia dope and at times better than other times but its vibable. I just dont think you came in with the fire you should have to battle witty. Almost felt like you expected him not to show. Some of your bars were missi g the umph that a few more or less but well placed abd better worda could have provuded.

Witty had the more polished verse. Content was a twist darker imo but the writing was what really stood out. I hate to say outclassed but thats what feels like hapoebed in here. I almost feel like trappy thought you were gonna no show. Idk.

Dope verse though. Much more detailed and chiseled giving it more depth and meaning than trappies verse.

Vote witty

[sral]

Two of my oldest e-friends facing up, eh?

Lets see what you've got.

Trap: I like the style for the most part, it's maybe not as standard format we're used to reading in text but largely it works for you and I can catch the flow. I almost enjoyed the sort of run-on sentence or thoughts kind of feel to this, and you went an almost YDK-esque route of self reflection, maybe there's something in that, how given no topic to play with shows certain people turn into themselves and pick apart their own misgivings? Anyway, I'm just musing at this point, it was felt but it was all too abrupt for me and kind of felt incomplete or unfinished.

Witty: This one was almost trademark you, a little sloppy in some parts, but largely great at flipping the scheming back and forth and turning it inside out and changing it up. The great thing about the storytelling in this is that it has on a whole a natural running almost conversationalist tone to it. It reads very easily for the most part, and the broken-down-bar style gives you a little more freedom in that sense to toy with the schemes but it works for you. The whole rape thing has been done, as you know, but the bind us together idea was nicely worded even if it reminded me of Brother Ali's "If i can't have you, nobody will" tbh. I'm a sucker for the darker stuff, I guess, and that coupled with the technical merit was enough to win me over here.

Vote - Witty

[Pinot Grij]

Vote -- Witty

More character development and rhyme structure.

[symetrik]

trap: bury the hatch. phew. it was roughly about forgiveness or something, text fell short.
witty: you jumped the gun on this one, shock is great but it didn't feel real, especially "nooope". body decay is highly mistakable

however, mvgt witty cuz trap didn't bring anything even close

[MMLP]

I like traps verse, it didnt really have me gripped tbh but i think i get you n your style just off this one verse. It's is a style i prefer, baz says yours good n i should watch out for ya. But onto the other. Witty's a beast technical-wise, mixed with his storytelling prowess which were very much on show here. Very dark n well executed. He gets my vote here.

Good job fellas