The Parables Of Man

[ACTIVATE SELF]

I sit upon the mountain top and overlook the city.
There's an ocean of stars and below they seem so busy.
Such commotion it's a pity how they choose to use their time.
They're so focused on the pennies that they don't pursue the dimes.
Although, each token is as worthless when compared to what is true,
like the feeling that's produced when the summer skies are blue.
Or chasing butterflies in June with your cousins at the zoo.
Until you come of age and you understand the truth.
Then you start to view the cage as inhumane and cruel.
See life is but a school for the tuna and the muse.
An institute of elevation thanks to Buddha & Hey Zeus.
While Cupid and Anubis stand as symbols of emotions.
Such as love, and devotion, meant to shrivel up psychosis,
make some sense of the remoteness, bring the picture into focus.
I don't know, if you know this, on the universal totem
every spirit has a modem. Thus, suggesting a connection
to a neurological .. network so complex it makes up an avatar.
Of which we're subatomic parts to the god we're living in,
like the cells inside our bodies unaware of who we are.
Yet, coexistence is contingent on an Adam. Who's in charge?
We are all the evening stars and we came from afar.
The cosmic garden where we blossomed once a particle was sparked.
You should harvest food for thought. It's nutritious for the soul
and brings solace to the heart. For the soldiers on the march
that forged their swords to spar with Mars, may you morally object
to any war that causes harm, to the innocent and poor
or forces tyranny abroad. And for the spiritually absolved
I pray you all get involved. For the sake of Brother Paul.
"What of Satan and The Fallen?" Well, some angels were enthralled
by his vanity and awe and gave him aid to break the law.
Thus, they made a fatal flaw, but there's danger in each cause.
So you better battle boldly or be mangled in the brawl.
They may hang you from a cross near a manger made of straw.
Tho, that only kills the ego if your credo has resolve.
The mosquito and the wasp both share the same goal.
To evolve at any cost. Charles Darwin is at fault.
Cause 'Survival of the fittest' is a theory proven false.
We are merely just a moth. That is drawn to a flame
in the memory of Thoth. Feel the chemical redraw
as I reel you off the sauce. A placebo that you bought.
"I was feeble and exhausted with a fever and a cough!"
No, a sickness of the mind engineered to keep you caught
in a web made of lies by the spiders in your thoughts.
That convince you that you're lost in a mental holocaust.
Or the Synagogue of Sodom where the sinners are assaulted
near the pillars made of salt. Scared to hear this monologue
are the enemies of all. And the military men
who do fiendishly exalt, pseudo tutors as their scholars.
Whom may teach them how to conquer. Tho, empires go impoverished
if they have no code of honor, or enlightened holy prophets
like the Poet and the Watcher. Whom may show them how to prosper
and turn oil into water, or dry soil into tropics,
via spoils of a knowledge, that has long been forgotten,
by the royals and the Gnostics. Back when Moses was a shaman
to the pharaoh Tutankhamen, I was shelling out the dharma,
and dispelling all the dogma, that rebelled against the conscience.
Tho, the Devil is a charmer, you should kick him in a well
as you yell, "This is Sparta, and this 'L' is for your karma!"
Settin' sail East of Hell without a nail in your armor.
On a presidential pardon from Michelle and Obama.
For the sell of marijuana, cos the miracle of ganja, should be shareable
and sponsored, by a charity or Pharma, but apparently that's nonsense.
No one cares unless they profit, off the therapy of Chronic.
Ask the chairmen, and the doctors, or the taxmen in their pockets,
politicians on the dockets. Fuckin fascist economics.
In a colony of dummies no one rations out their money.
All they do is shop and buy. So why's it shocking when they die
broke and bummy with no tie .. over luxury designs?
So corrupted by their pride that they can't stomach humble pie.
Pluck the Sun right out the sky. Then I plunge it in the ocean.
Let it soak until it's glowless. In the hopes that I can show them,
golden trophies hold no bonus, to a yogi in the lotus,
with a halo over dome. Meditating on a poem
inside a massive super nova where the gases might explode.
I should close this with an omen or quotations from Jehovah.
But all I got is "Ommmmm" as I wake you from the coma.
~The Watcher's the persona~

[Saint]

From RR?

Cool drop..

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Yep, bro. Appreciated it.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Step 2: add helium.

[Objective]

Really dope piece, thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. Despite that though I felt you got a little bit lazy with the slant rhymes here and there although they mostly worked, the problem is that when they don't really work out in the readers head (accent etc. probably) they don't work at all. I also felt the bit you did with the weed was a bit drawn out and simple compared to the otherwise deeper content when a couple lines would have covered that topic well and kept the jumping back'n'forth of different topics and raw poetic wisdom going with the same flow throughout.

Either way, it isn't any serious hiccups at all, shit was dope af. Nice to see some fresh well thought out shit and work put into a piece, +rep on that. You should check out the AOWL, it might be fore you. Welcome to Netcees.

[Geno]

Self da phawkin gawdd

[Diablo]

I can see some people who will nitpick over the way some multies line up, but the mid section of this bounces along nicely as it says read from a flow standpoint. I enjoyed the universe section into Adam/Atoms and Eve and whatnot (mainly because I've covered something not all too dissimilar previously). I enjoyed the callbacks or carry over rhymes used as internals at certain points too, not sure there's an actual term for that stuff, but you know what I mean. The section to do with weed and Obama was kind of lost on me too in truth, maybe it's an American thing cause I saw my European thug Objective didn't get that either so I'll look past that. This is one of the better efforts I've read by you.

Keep that pen moving!

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Thanks for the love fellas. It's much appreciated. Baron link me to the piece youre talking about. I have a feeling I might have read it before, but I'm not sure. Either way it sounds intriguing.

What up, Geno?! Good to see you fam.

Also, the whole weed part was included to more or less ground the piece is something current/relatable (at least at the time) and less whimsical. But, I definitely see where you guys are coming from. It's a little left of center than the rest of the content.

OAN

I've pretty familiar with AWOL. I've peeped a lot of the battles (past and present), just never had the free time to sign up or was alway involved in some other tournament/league. But, yeah, there are a heathy amount of heads here I'd be interested in battle in the days to come. Just gotta find the time to do so.

Again, thanks for the feed.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Bump.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Well...

[Lyriscologist]

topicals and pieces like this are definitely your strong suit, like that prophecy one too.. you paint a very vivid picture with your words that is truly captivating from start to finish.. too many dope parts to narrow down a fav.. well done sir! solid

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Thanks, bro.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

The Watcher 2.0
veritas PancakeBrah


Thoughts?

[Exis]

I sit upon the mountain top and overlook the city.
There's an ocean of stars and below they seem so busy.

^^Such a beautiful openin' bar...

Or chasing butterflies in June with your cousins at the zoo.
Until you come of age and you understand the truth.

^^My child would love that ;) gr8 imagery bro...

I pray you all get involved. For the sake of Brother Paul.
"What of Satan and The Fallen?". Well, some angels were enthralled
by his vanity and awe and gave him aid to break the law.
Thus, they made a fatal flaw, but there's danger in each cause.
So you better battle boldly or be mangled in the brawl.
They may hang you from a cross near a manger made of straw.

^^Whoa!...

This was a really well constructed piece SELF...your wit, & @ times your vocab mixed in with some awesome imagery made this sumthin' I will read again...& again...& again.

Your definitely someone I try to always get ...

Stay bein' you man.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Yo thanks, Ex.

[dead man]

some of this was pretty fucking cool. i think the sheer length of the piece hurt you a bit here. you had so much content available you were kind of throwing out there without focusing intently on any one remnant. stylistically, this almost made me nostalgic for the type of god-complex braggadocio writing that is so damn fun to do. also introduced and played around with some interesting, sometimes strange, sometimes even resonant ideas.

Or chasing butterflies in June with your cousins at the zoo.

on the universal totem
every spirit has a modem. Thus, suggesting a connection
to a neurological .. network so complex it makes up an avatar.


The mosquito and the wasp both share the same goal.
To evolve at any cost. Charles Darwin is at fault.
Cause 'Survival of the fittest' is a theory proven false.

why do you say this?

a sickness of the mind engineered to keep you caught
in a web made of lies by the spiders in your thoughts.
That convince you that you're lost in a mental holocaust.
Or the Synagogue of Sodom where the sinners are assaulted
near the pillars made of salt


quoted were some of my favorite sections. yeah, ultimately kind of rambly and stream of conscious - although epic in its proportions - but some of my favorite is writing like that. prose or otherwise



thanks!

[ACTIVATE SELF]

His theory negated the spiritual essence and aspect of life.

[Lucipher Howlz]

Yo my homie SELF! What up its EXO. Hope all is well with ya. I'll give this a proper break down in a bit.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

2022

[Pharaohs Army]

Next post.
Clicked "quote" by mistake instead of editing in here.
Deal with it it's one scroll.
Nice written.

[Pharaohs Army]

(NEW 2023 FEED)

OVERALL, Self...Love the piece and GLAD I found this one!, because it's the style from you I enjoy most...
One from a while ago you went REAL tin-foil hat/ random references which WHILE COOL you seemed to be exploring the boundaries of content over your traditional rhyme/rhythm extravaganzas, which is what we have below:

So before the activity, let's start (or shall I say end?) with the summation that: it "appears to me" you realllly honed most of this, but maybe just a TAD...rushed the ending/ key-freeform ideas/make it rhyme...from one subject to the next with just a little less rhythm creativity and syllable exactness....

Now, I've noticed and others may've as well, this is a critique for A LOT of feed I give on writings...
There are a number of reasons for this
-HUMAN NATURE for a writer
-I AM OVERSENSITIVE TO IT, because I do it myself & am therefore good at noticing it, lol.
-I AM USUALLY WOWED BY QUALITY WRITINGS EARLY ON/MIDDLE THAT BY THE END PERHAPS THE CRITIC IS OVERWHELMED TOO?
Not sure.

There's 3 factors...I'm sure there's 5-7, and Answer & Objective might argue 9 or 10.
Bahah. zing. or whatever,

****Oh. 2 AM FINAL EDIT, bitches
Newww 2023 feed which means yes, I was overwhelmed and fatigued by the end of this LONG verse SELF...I admit my mistakes now: The ending is really not as bad as I said above....maybe just the closing few lines...goodnight*******

But wanna stress the DOPENESS of the majority of tha piece, Self.

Ah yes, SELF...the "activity" is a freestyled breakdown using various, i.e. (sometimes) CHANGING criteria from one section to the next. Here we go
"The plural criteria has been used as a singular for over half a century."
-interweb.
**Editing analysis***
Run Machine Program

I sit upon the mountain top and overlook the city.
There's an ocean of stars and below they seem so busy.
Such commotion it's a pity how they choose to use their time.
They're so focused on the pennies that they don't pursue the dimes.
Quatrain: 9.8 out of 10 opener, (despIte city/pity/busy being so common). BANG. Cuz he did it right. And clever closer I thought. Interesting how he separates "mountaintop" for his syllabic needs. Don't really need to explain anything more.
Although, each token is as worthless when compared to what is true,
like the feeling that's produced when the summer skies are blue.
Content-feed: slightly cliche simile on that 2nd line of the couplet.
Or chasing butterflies in June with your cousins at the zoo.
Until you come of age and you understand the truth.
"Rhyme-designed" top line on the couplet. but OK, because buttery multi!--- [pharaoh feed, faggitz.]
Good closer second line of the couplet. RELATES to the critical line - three lines above it; B4 the two similes...
(&,Until otherwise stated, the flow and technicals are pretty damn solid which is why I'm still here)...
Then you start to view the cage as inhumane and cruel.
See life is but a school for the tuna and the muse.
Opening line CRITICAL and relates to the Zoo bar 2 above. meta-forical, etc.
I mean, really creative rhyming here on the second line...you are of a rare few who can do this...YES perhaps "tuna" is a randomish rhyme sake, but it's an animal after zoo talk, and is such a cool transition from "school" to "muse" from a phonetic perspective...I'd be over-complicating the line trying to stick a comma after "See", but you just KNOW your syllable shit & trust the reader to smooth it out. and trust the sentence and skeleton punctuation.
Moving RIGHT along, EVERYONE,,,,
An institute of elevation thanks to Buddha & Hey Zeus.
While Cupid and Anubis stand as symbols of emotions.
Googled Hey Zeus; settled on an old classic cult punk album...Hopefully it is something like that and not just the word "hey" (highly doubt it since he Capped it)....
Second line of the couplet is definitely a "bridgey" feel:
-rhyme changes
-contrast word "while" shows the difference between Buddha/Zeus Vs. Cupid/Anubis. [stupid!]
We now know you're transitioning to a new "insight bar", WHICH as you'll find below, I love. and is RIGHT up there with my 9.8 OPENING I graded you on.
From above:...
"While Cupid and Anubis stand as symbols of emotions."
Such as love, and devotion, meant to shrivel up psychosis,
Dope sauce...
make some sense of the remoteness, bring the picture into focus.
And makes it even better for a third-line closer.
=================I'll be back at some point Self...Though we may wanna quit here while you're HIGHLY graded...I did want to touch on the Darwin line area but we'll get to it eventually bud. good job.=========
ALMOST FORGOT,,, SAW THIS AND: phuck. you.
as you yell, "This is Sparta, and this 'L' is for your karma!"
@brokenhal0 this was literally my opener (this is sparta) for Topical this week, I was gonna use all caps...(at the very least part of a stanza if not opener!,) Damn it Self, this is why I shouldn't read descriptive shit before I drop lol... Oh well, maybe better that I caught it.
...
I don't know, if you know this, on the universal totem
every spirit has a modem. Thus, suggesting a connection
to a neurological .. network so complex it makes up an avatar.
Of which we're subatomic parts to the god we're living in,
like the cells inside our bodies unaware of who we are.
Yet, coexistence is contingent on an Adam. Who's in charge?
We are all the evening stars and we came from afar.
The cosmic garden where we blossomed once a particle was sparked.
You should harvest food for thought. It's nutritious for the soul
and brings solace to the heart. For the soldiers on the march
that forged their swords to spar with Mars, may you morally object
to any war that causes harm, to the innocent and poor
or forces tyranny abroad. And for the spiritually absolved
I pray you all get involved. For the sake of Brother Paul.
[/U]"What of Satan and The Fallen?"[/U] Well, some angels were enthralled
by his vanity and awe and gave him aid to break the law.
Thus, they made a fatal flaw, but there's danger in each cause.
So you better battle boldly or be mangled in the brawl.
They may hang you from a cross near a manger made of straw.
Tho, that only kills the ego if your credo has resolve.
The mosquito and the wasp both share the same goal.
Yikkkes...sick line/sentence, however simple it may b,,lol
To evolve at any cost. Charles Darwin is at fault.
Lovin' it...
Cause 'Survival of the fittest' is a theory proven false.
SO opinionated that it threw the "tone" off a bit, certainly enough to rankle dead man's "antannae" muahaha~ Ribbing aside, I tend to agree with his suspicions and might argue this line is too matter-of-fact compared to the questioning/more vague statements of truth, if u will
We are merely just a moth. That is drawn to a flame
in the memory of Thoth. Feel the chemical redraw
as I reel you off the sauce. A placebo that you bought.
[I]"I was feeble and exhausted with a fever and a cough!"
No, a sickness of the mind engineered to keep you caught
in a web made of lies by the spiders in your thoughts.
That convince you that you're lost in a mental holocaust.
Still hitting dope 7 straaaaighht barz... [Phara stick a comma after "web" maybe?] Really cool verse, Selfie..
Or the Synagogue of Sodom where the sinners are assaulted
near the pillars made of salt. Scared to hear this monologue
are the enemies of all. And the military men
who do fiendishly exalt, pseudo tutors as their scholars.
Whom may teach them how to conquer. Tho, empires go impoverished
if they have no code of honor, or enlightened holy prophets
like the Poet and the Watcher. Whom may show them how to prosper
and turn oil into water, or dry soil into tropics,
via spoils of a knowledge, that has long been forgotten,
by the royals and the Gnostics. Back when Moses was a shaman
to the pharaoh Tutankhamen, I was shelling out the dharma,
and dispelling all the dogma, that rebelled against the conscience.
Tho, the Devil is a charmer, you should kick him in a well
as you yell, "This is Sparta, and this 'L' is for your karma!"
Settin' sail East of Hell without a nail in your armor.
On a presidential pardon from Michelle and Obama.
For the sell of marijuana, cos the miracle of ganja, should be shareable
and sponsored, by a charity or Pharma, but apparently that's nonsense.
No one cares unless they profit, off the therapy of Chronic.
Ask the chairmen, and the doctors, or the taxmen in their pockets,
politicians on the dockets. Fuckin fascist economics.
In a colony of dummies no one rations out their money.
All they do is shop and buy. So why's it shocking when they die
broke and bummy with no tie .. over luxury designs?
So corrupted by their pride that they can't stomach humble pie.
Pluck the Sun right out the sky. Then I plunge it in the ocean.
Let it soak until it's glowless. ***pffft jesus Self. A WiseWiggles-like Mindfuk only 6 words...one.~In the hopes that I can show them,
golden trophies hold no bonus, to a yogi in the lotus,
with a halo over dome. Meditating on a poem
inside a massive super nova where the gases might explode.
I should close this with an omen or quotations from Jehovah.
But all I got is "Ommmmm" as I wake you from the coma.
~The Watcher's the persona~