Infiltration vs DMVsToneB - OPEN FOR FEED (INF WINS)

[Orc]

Netcees Battle League: The Legends Edition


Rules

Due Dates:

Verses are due Thursday and will be open until Sunday.
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are 24 hours



Line Limit:

Minimum of 8, maximum of 16
If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first.


Check ins are encouraged but not mandatory. Also, swaying/biting/recycling is a DQ

FAILURE TO VOTE ON 3 BATTLES IS A DQ. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE!!! YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. VOTE ON 3 BATTLES OR YOU LOSE. SIMPLE!
DMVsToneB Infiltration

[Saint]

10, early. 12 at most.

[Saint]

12

Cant keep shit private on this forum shit lol

Lol what's to hide rookie? DMV's tone tellin me he's shook, see
Fuck keepin it private bitch...even your NAME sends the message you're a pussy
Your rank left me dead, it's proven...Bags training's the best solution
No plans to see Tone UP this season 'less the gyms a new years resolution
Tone's murdered woww u changed from a slow learner now
Look, Infestation a restructure for this prick that'd make Amens coworker proud
& madd niggas smash ur bae, no train, they ran cascades
She hits rails servicing bodies at highspeed it put the Amtrak crash to shame
You're shit in the league, bro...unworthy to step to the king
Not since Meghan Markles hand we seen a bitch so outta line enter the ring
The NBL has limits on wack shit, I'm doubtin u'll stay
1 voice saying: 'we cant Baritone a second longer' like it's out of the range

[Lenox]

Inf woulda got this regardless, decent verse


Highlight: amens coworker

Honorable mention: opener

[Hawk]

Lol what's to hide rookie? DMV's tone tellin me he's shook, see
Fuck keepin it private bitch...even your NAME sends the message you're a pussy

^^^ Mehhhhhh okay

Your rank left me dead, it's proven...Bags training's the best solution
No plans to see Tone UP this season 'less the gyms a new years resolution

^^^ Not sure if this is played against him, seems like the obvious flip for his name. But since I haven't seen battles against him it's new to me and I liked it.

Tone's murdered woww u changed from a slow learner now
Look, Infestation a restructure for this prick that'd make Amens coworker proud

^^^ I saw the thread so the reference lands. But damn that second line was wordy as fuck. Every word in the set-up aside from one had 1 syllable; second line had a lot more syllables that fucked the flow.

& madd niggas smash ur bae, no train, they ran cascades
She hits rails servicing bodies at highspeed it put the Amtrak crash to shame

^^^ Not bad

You're shit in the league, bro...unworthy to step to the king
Not since Meghan Markles hand we seen a bitch so outta line enter the ring

^^^ Had to google who that was, no idea the chick from Suits was going to marry a prince, that's wild. I get the "outta line" since she's not the usual choice for a prince, but I don't get the reference about her hand (unless it's literally just her hand in marriage) not a bad bar, just confusing.

The NBL has limits on wack shit, I'm doubtin u'll stay
1 voice saying: 'we cant Baritone a second longer' like it's out of the range

^^^ This was dope. Good word/nameplay and a solid closer.



Overall it was an okay verse. I think you got in your own way with the wording sometimes but you definitely have creative concepts which I think is the harder part. Maybe just revisit each line after you finish the verse and try to cut out unnecessary words. Read it outloud and see how it sounds. Check if it'll sound better if you use different words, etc.

Good shit!

[For Battling]

Lol what's to hide rookie? DMV's tone tellin me he's shook, see
Fuck keepin it private bitch...even your NAME sends the message you're a pussy
ok
Your rank left me dead, it's proven...Bags training's the best solution
No plans to see Tone UP this season 'less the gyms a new years resolution
dope
Tone's murdered woww u changed from a slow learner now
Look, Infestation a restructure for this prick that'd make Amens coworker proud
worded weird but not bad
& madd niggas smash ur bae, no train, they ran cascades
She hits rails servicing bodies at highspeed it put the Amtrak crash to shame
nah
You're shit in the league, bro...unworthy to step to the king
Not since Meghan Markles hand we seen a bitch so outta line enter the ring
ok
The NBL has limits on wack shit, I'm doubtin u'll stay
1 voice saying: 'we cant Baritone a second longer' like it's out of the range
cool


Good verse, big improvement from last week and the week prior. Good shit

[Cool]

12



Lol what's to hide rookie? DMV's tone tellin me he's shook, see
Fuck keepin it private bitch...even your NAME sends the message you're a pussy

nah

Your rank left me dead, it's proven...Bags training's the best solution
No plans to see Tone UP this season 'less the gyms a new years resolution

dope

Tone's murdered woww u changed from a slow learner now
Look, Infestation a restructure for this prick that'd make Amens coworker proud

lmao

& madd niggas smash ur bae, no train, they ran cascades
She hits rails servicing bodies at highspeed it put the Amtrak crash to shame

fire

You're shit in the league, bro...unworthy to step to the king
Not since Meghan Markles hand we seen a bitch so outta line enter the ring

nice

The NBL has limits on wack shit, I'm doubtin u'll stay
1 voice saying: 'we cant Baritone a second longer' like it's out of the range

cool

this was great

nice shit homie

u actually made an effort

it showed

do this from now on

don't let off