The Watcher

[ACTIVATE SELF]

I'm as ancient as the Sea. I speak the language of the trees.
I've been around for a while, since the Nile was just a stream.
In the Valley of the Kings I was graciously received
by a council of deceased ancestors in my dream.
Whom addressed me then decreed that I would lead the Elohēm
out of Egypt into Crete. So we could teach the eager Greeks
all the secrets of the deep that they would need to take the leap
into the Age of Socrates. So they could gradually exceed
their limitations and achieve an imitation of our nation
that dramatically increased every facet and degree
of their crass society. We unwrapped the galaxies.
Taught them crafts and alchemy and how to crack an atom's seam.
So they could take a peek inside and peep the patterns that we weaved
out of matter made of strings. Yes, the fabric was indeed
an elaborate tapestry. That was masterfully conceived
to capture all reality -- in a fragment, or a piece,
of a fraction, or a tease, of a fractal, that repeats,
every similarity, that we can factually perceive.
But do you actually believe that we accidentally,
or just haphazardly .. came into existence
in the absence of a being with supreme divinity?
I'm just asking just to see what you passionately think.
Are we Adam and his Eve or two atoms' crashed debris?
Or are we fast asleep in a breeding factory
feeding masses of machines like a massive battery?
Or perhaps the fallacy is that your tax bracket's key
and your cash and salary can turn a jack into a king?
Like the brass colored ring, you can flash and you can gleam
but that doesn't mean you're gold.
You're still copper mixed with zinc.
Unless you upgrade your soul like the Buddha by the Bo
and you know the 'Wardrobe' is no portal to the throne
cos the Emperor's new clothes aren't as royal as they seem
cos he seized the cargo of his mortal enemies!
His ensemble is deception. It's invisible. Inception!
A story and a warning of inglorious perfection.
To inform you and protect you if your sanity should fail
and your vanity prevails like a fantasy or tale that is candidly detailed
with a moral or a lesson. Yes, I'm pouring on the ethics.
Allegorical connections.
If the course of the weather is the source of your depression,
take the storm as a blessing when you're scorching in the desert.
Ask the poor or a peasant if the rain isn't precious.
Though a wave is unpleasant when the pressure starts to rise.
And the days start to lessen and you're stressing your demise.
Now the pain of the leper is a question on your mind.
And the weight of your treasure is a feather in the sky,
cos no matter what it measures every debtor has to die!
Cos everything's collected. Every debt and every dime
every tick and every chime of every second of the minute
that is spent inside the shrine of a labyrinth of lies.
Filled with ignorance and pride just like Icarus in flight.
If you really wish to fly you should prolly get advice
from the guys that did it Wright! ~~ Be wise!

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Bump.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

X2

[veritas]

This was both technically sound and topically inspiring. I enjoyed your take on the inivisible hand of discovery, the Muse. Thank you sir.

But do you actually believe that we accidentally,
or just haphazardly .. came into existence ...
in the absence of a being with supreme divinity?
I'm just asking just to see what you passionately think.
Are we Adam and his Eve or two atoms' crashed debris?
Or are we fast asleep in a breeding factory ...
feeding masses of machines like a massive battery?

hmmmmmmm

[Exis]

I've tried so hard to structure my shit like this...where lines pretty much match the whole way, & nah can't do it lol.

Your imagery is just stupid sick bro...

[PancakeBrah]

Lol'd hard at trying to make your lines match.

This was good. None of that hokey nonsense in your usual topical pieces. Using a topic as a framing device for a technical flex. I even caught all your mathematic magic rhymes, my guy. "Taught them crafts" to "factually perceive" was your best stretch, and the first half was more consistently strong than the second, although the second was still good it just had a few more hiccups in wording in my opinion. But

That was masterfully conceived
to capture all reality -- in a fragment, or a piece,
of a fraction, or a tease, of a fractal, that repeats,
every similarity, that we can factually perceive.

Yeah that was pretty slick. Good use of punctuation to let the reader know the cadence.

I think it's pretty easy to write these scheme heavy pieces when you use soft sounds. Hell, when I used to write I traded in this type of language exclusively,. It's just so easy to slant rhyme and keep the "flow" sounding smooth using this type of language. But that's no overall knock on this piece because it was executed well. Ditch the exclamation point at the end.

Thanks for the read.