Cool vs ClassickERBL - BROKE WINS

[Orc]

Netcees Battle League: The Legends Edition


Rules

Due Dates:

Verses are due Thursday Jan 4th and will be open until Sunday.
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are 24 hours



Line Limit:

Minimum of 8, maximum of 16
If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first.


Check ins are encouraged but not mandatory. Also, swaying/biting/recycling is a DQ

FAILURE TO VOTE ON 3 BATTLES IS A DQ. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE!!! YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. VOTE ON 3 BATTLES OR YOU LOSE. SIMPLE!

Cool classickERBL

[BROKE LESNAR]

Goddamn it, Orc.

[classickERBL]

lets get it.. Cool how 12 lines sound to u ?

[BROKE LESNAR]

12 works.

[classickERBL]

12 works.

aight bet !

[BROKE LESNAR]

u way too gentle to duff me, type feeble n still a whelp
i honestly don't sensei threat from u, go find 1 that'll teach u to kill urself
dubbed urself classick huh?, it's radical n seems legit
ur screen name bout creative as every unoriginal faggot who thinks of it
blam steel or keep it text g?, bang ur gone w/ a smirk
get caught up if u mess w/ da strap, the same way ankle monitors work
leave u in serious condition, i'm lit as neighbor battles
clap the metal to give ur chest a jolt, u'll need some defibrillator paddles
otbva won't hustle me none, voters ain't retarded here
bump any opinion this fleecer render, plz do both ur fucking garbage tier
ur wp's ain't nicer than mine, that amount to no stress
cuz u force demonstrate up reach b, enough to rally a thousand protests

[classickERBL]

Im here to raise the bar this is ‘pen lifintg’ ,and its quite ‘cursive’ /
Put a SPELL on u , they gon C 2 O’s and a L at the end , cool sound like a nice person /
U SWEAR u BLACKIN on which craft? (witchcraft) u must like CURSING /
Put ‘pressure on his flow’ , the ‘pipe burstin’ , sun (son) better shed light in this room or its night curtains/
Name yaself after Brock Lesnar ? The fake SHOWS ! im in the scratch the SERIAL off this mac stage/
But This aint BL SERIES , plus how u gon fight Broke n every one a ya 'smack staged' ?/
Im SUITED for war , its in my genes (JEANS) to sneak a (SNEAKER) ‘loaded cal’ thats what I tucks (TUX) in it/
Whoever SLACKS getting aDRESSED with clips, my CLOTH got more layers den a lux gimmick/
I hope C aware ( a wear ) cuz a pair’ll (apparel) KICK from the BLAZER and send CAPS flyin
This (k)not a TIE , gats firing ! Nigga I spazz on the REAL like mack myron/
Show me who the best! I can troll (control) champions , cuz when i BLAC it hurts..like how can he (kenny) do this?/
Trust ! It will be trays (betrays) to pop , for thinking fakin' a count(account) I let it FLY on sight/site like Kenny Lewis
TIME !!

[Clout]

u way too gentle to duff me, type feeble n still a whelp
i honestly don't sensei threat from u, go find 1 that'll teach u to kill urself

Nice wording, like this one.

dubbed urself classick huh?, it's radical n seems legit
ur screen name bout creative as every unoriginal faggot who thinks of it

lol, not bad.

blam steel or keep it text g?, bang ur gone w/ a smirk
get caught up if u mess w/ da strap, the same way ankle monitors work

Eh not feeling this one

leave u in serious condition, i'm lit as neighbor battles
clap the metal to give ur chest a jolt, u'll need some defibrillator paddles

Alright

otbva won't hustle me none, voters ain't retarded here
bump any opinion this fleecer render, plz do both ur fucking garbage tier

Flee/Surrender nice. Agree OTBVA is a terrible site.

ur wp's ain't nicer than mine, that amount to no stress
cuz u force demonstrate up reach b, enough to rally a thousand protests

Nah, i dont like how this one.


Im here to raise the bar this is ‘pen lifintg’ ,and its quite ‘cursive’ /
Put a SPELL on u , they gon C 2 O’s and a L at the end , cool sound like a nice person /

Nah, this is long bar kind of stuff lol. I dont like this one bit man. You're overkill here. This comes off more as a compliment anyways.

U SWEAR u BLACKIN on which craft? (witchcraft) u must like CURSING /
Put ‘pressure on his flow’ , the ‘pipe burstin’ , sun (son) better shed light in this room or its night curtains/

We're know what your trying to say, you don't need expos. If you need expos your wording is bad.

Name yaself after Brock Lesnar ? The fake SHOWS ! im in the scratch the SERIAL off this mac stage/
But This aint BL SERIES , plus how u gon fight Broke n every one a ya 'smack staged' ?/

Terrible, This was worse then me writing my first research paper in english.

Im SUITED for war , its in my genes (JEANS) to sneak a (SNEAKER) ‘loaded cal’ thats what I tucks (TUX) in it/
Whoever SLACKS getting aDRESSED with clips, my CLOTH got more layers den a lux gimmick/

Old concepts, old Wordplay. This is an extremely ancient way of writing.

I hope C aware ( a wear ) cuz a pair’ll (apparel) KICK from the BLAZER and send CAPS flyin
This (k)not a TIE , gats firing ! Nigga I spazz on the REAL like mack myron/

Nah.
Show me who the best! I can troll (control) champions , cuz when i BLAC it hurts..like how can he (kenny) do this?/
Trust ! It will be trays (betrays) to pop , for thinking fakin' a count(account) I let it FLY on sight/site like Kenny Lewis
TIME !!

Alright rattlesnake aka Broke you won this one. Classic you are using a style no one uses anymore. You're forcing so many play on words its hard to want to keep reading. You need to read up on some of top battlers here. You need to be less intrusive with the flips and more subtle. Where it reads smoothly and doesn't sound like a your struggling to talk. You have too much going on in your lines. Pick a concept use a wordplay that isn't so forced. You need to stop the expos.

v/ Broke

[For Battling]

BROKE LESNAR's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,151
Battle Record: 7-3


Champed
- 1-2 Punch League

Rep Power: 11869460
BROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant futureBROKE LESNAR has a brilliant future
Default
u way too gentle to duff me, type feeble n still a whelp
i honestly don't sensei threat from u, go find 1 that'll teach u to kill urself
lol @ whelp. Good line here
dubbed urself classick huh?, it's radical n seems legit
ur screen name bout creative as every unoriginal faggot who thinks of it
nah typical weird usuername type punch
blam steel or keep it text g?, bang ur gone w/ a smirk
get caught up if u mess w/ da strap, the same way ankle monitors work
alright cool
leave u in serious condition, i'm lit as neighbor battles
clap the metal to give ur chest a jolt, u'll need some defibrillator paddles
nice
otbva won't hustle me none, voters ain't retarded here
bump any opinion this fleecer render, plz do both ur fucking garbage tier
ehh
ur wp's ain't nicer than mine, that amount to no stress
cuz u force demonstrate up reach b, enough to rally a thousand protests
alright I like I like

Broke: stfu and stop with all the wack voting. Anyways This verse was good, I really liked the ankle monitor line.

Vs


Im here to raise the bar this is ‘pen lifintg’ ,and its quite ‘cursive’ /
Put a SPELL on u , they gon C 2 O’s and a L at the end , cool sound like a nice person /
not bad, bit wordy though
U SWEAR u BLACKIN on which craft? (witchcraft) u must like CURSING /
Put ‘pressure on his flow’ , the ‘pipe burstin’ , sun (son) better shed light in this room or its night curtains/
nah man, explaining your wp is a no, ESPECIALLY doing it right after you say it lol
Name yaself after Brock Lesnar ? The fake SHOWS ! im in the scratch the SERIAL off this mac stage/
But This aint BL SERIES , plus how u gon fight Broke n every one a ya 'smack staged' ?/
i wanna like this but again this one is wordy like your opener. Decent line but gotta work on simplifying your wording and execution
Im SUITED for war , its in my genes (JEANS) to sneak a (SNEAKER) ‘loaded cal’ thats what I tucks (TUX) in it/
Whoever SLACKS getting aDRESSED with clips, my CLOTH got more layers den a lux gimmick/
good bar, only advice here is don’t force wp just to have it. It’s gotta flow smoothly in the punch and let it explain itself[/b]
I hope C aware ( a wear ) cuz a pair’ll (apparel) KICK from the BLAZER and send CAPS flyin
This (k)not a TIE , gats firing ! Nigga I spazz on the REAL like mack myron/
good again, but the structure is really hurting your impact man
Show me who the best! I can troll (control) champions , cuz when i BLAC it hurts..like how can he (kenny) do this?/
Trust ! It will be trays (betrays) to pop , for thinking fakin' a count(account) I let it FLY on sight/site like Kenny Lewis
dope concept here but execution and everything else hurt it
TIME !!

classick: Yo you have mad potential my dude, a lot of your concepts are dope and you have good flow and creativity. You just really need to work on simplifying your bars and developing a better style and structure. Take my feedback into consideration and try formulating your punches in other ways. Decent showing here but broke lesnar gets this.

VOTE: Cool

[ill nik-A]

Broke wins easily

Classic, that style is hard to read. Word association with forced word association with very vague connections. pick the concept, do a setup and be more direct with ya punch, the creativity doesn’t need forcing. Check out the vets out. If u need to explain your lines that means it’s worded bad.

[Alvin Karpis]

Cool got this

Sensai was cool and more consistent
Classik just needs to read a few more battles on here

[Saint]

Broke gets this, wont break it down. sensei and defribillator paddles were standouts.

classick, man you could improve by not trying to associate so many words, choose one and make a fresh flip. 2. smooth your setups and 3. Drop the explanations.

vote- broke

[Profit]

u way too gentle to duff me, type feeble n still a whelp
i honestly don't sensei threat from u, go find 1 that'll teach u to kill urself

Played

dubbed urself classick huh?, it's radical n seems legit
ur screen name bout creative as every unoriginal faggot who thinks of it

Ok

blam steel or keep it text g?, bang ur gone w/ a smirk
get caught up if u mess w/ da strap, the same way ankle monitors work

Fire

leave u in serious condition, i'm lit as neighbor battles
clap the metal to give ur chest a jolt, u'll need some defibrillator paddles

Ummm nice

otbva won't hustle me none, voters ain't retarded here
bump any opinion this fleecer render, plz do both ur fucking garbage tier

Dope!

ur wp's ain't nicer than mine, that amount to no stress
cuz u force demonstrate up reach b, enough to rally a thousand protests

Nice


Im here to raise the bar this is ‘pen lifintg’ ,and its quite ‘cursive’ /
Put a SPELL on u , they gon C 2 O’s and a L at the end , cool sound like a nice person /

Cool but to much going on here

U SWEAR u BLACKIN on which craft? (witchcraft) u must like CURSING /
Put ‘pressure on his flow’ , the ‘pipe burstin’ , sun (son) better shed light in this room or its night curtains/

Ehh

Name yaself after Brock Lesnar ? The fake SHOWS ! im in the scratch the SERIAL off this mac stage/
But This aint BL SERIES , plus how u gon fight Broke n every one a ya 'smack staged' ?/

Ur trying to do to much

Im SUITED for war , its in my genes (JEANS) to sneak a (SNEAKER) ‘loaded cal’ thats what I tucks (TUX) in it/
Whoever SLACKS getting aDRESSED with clips, my CLOTH got more layers den a lux gimmick/
Same as above

I hope C aware ( a wear ) cuz a pair’ll (apparel) KICK from the BLAZER and send CAPS flyin
This (k)not a TIE , gats firing ! Nigga I spazz on the REAL like mack myron/
Show me who the best! I can troll (control) champions , cuz when i BLAC it hurts..like how can he (kenny) do this?/
Trust ! It will be trays (betrays) to pop , for thinking fakin' a count(account) I let it FLY on sight/site like Kenny Lewis
TIME !!


Just gonna leave it there, broke took this with some dope stuff, classik u just gotta tone it down man there's to much going on that it's taking away from the impact. Just clean it up n make it smoother.. that verse was an eyesore there's no need for all the extras..anyway broke got this

[classickERBL]

i see what yall like !!! salute everybody for the feedback !!

[Habitat]

broke

sensai was good
didnt like screen name
ankle bracelet was dope
diggin defibrillator
didn't like surrender joint it was weird to me
demonstrate was nice

vs

classick


i guess smack staged

wasn't feeling ur verse here man/ u need to work on wording cause u got concepts but they don't work the way u do em.

v/ broke

[Pinot Grij]

Who the fuck is Cool??

Broke Lesnar -- opener setup sucked but punch was cool. 2nd bar sounds cool but boiled down doesn't really make that much sense -- like you're lame cuz your name is lame, ehh. Ankle Monitors is dope, probably the line of the battle cuz looking down at Classick's jumble of a verse, I don't have high hopes. Paddles line is cool, I like the originality,, but don't you rub em together, not clap?

Classick -- just looking at your verse, all this slashes /// and shit like that is really not gonna get you far with this crowd -- if you think about it, it's totally unnecessary and just window dressing. Let your lines speak for themselves. Also, the spelling out your wordplay is weak as well -- the wp should speak for itself, that's what makes it effective wp. If it has to be explained, then it really doesn't work.

Honestly, I wasn't really feeling any lines, but I did appreciate your ability to recognize wordplay and rhyme ability. You're just serving up Whoppers at a steakhouse. I think you can take notes and improve greatly though.

Vote -- Broke Lesnar

[Basic M]

Broke totally dominated classick. Opener and that defibulator bar were that best imo. Classicks verse looked like a throw back from the 2000's. Its an eye sore. Always had been. Drop the expo's as well. Read around and see what everybody likes. No hate.

Winner/Broke

[Destroyer]

Vote broke because it wasn’t trash ass longbar with parenthetical expos
And it was horrible even without that
Do not use that style here
It’s not good

V/BL

[Aero]

blam steel or keep it text g?, bang ur gone w/ a smirk
get caught up if u mess w/ da strap, the same way ankle monitors work

bang bang