WEEK VIII: Candy vs 2tripple0[2trip wins]

[Inno]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 8

Verses are due THURSDAY at 11:59PM EST

Voting ends SUNDAY at 9:00PM EST

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words

Voting on 3 battles is required.


Topic: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=126253

Candy vs 2tripple0

Goodluck!

[Candy]

IN

-----

11/6

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ekJDgx9QzGE/VpfjQhFKrDI/AAAAAAAArjA/aoDPkL7k0HU/s1600/Fred-Shower.gif

------------------------

TOPIC:

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/6RI89o4pkOgnjBD_ENtuPnFwipf72rnviimyBLY-mgxwjx1W5tdzoYLnWpWJsfhLtzVbcHAPDNUDxzE=w1366-h613-rw

[2tripple0]

right ouch...

[Candy]

topic: 1402567718607.jpg

Shake yo vacant yo shing a Ling

..

up, in uptown a town of bring
lives a tramp found in
sleep..
lips of tinsel tongued mouth of..deep
Such girl curled no more
for who it sings
stamped for whom it sung, the sunk in grave, gave me grieve loud only nows the bound of give.. cries a tramp
This tramp
trampled, tampered down from up.. lies lies of see,
much depth distinct condemned found in me..
correct..
..aloud of loud collect the diaphragm in in of reach the weapon seen..

the weapon

For she is who is me,
from dialect direct and intent of built by missing seen..
i pounce beneath the sea of subtly,
submerged of worth within coordination unconsciously..
cavilar cliche' hung honestly of honesty merging commonly same subtleties
of my
dance to tame, too tame for my own promises

i preach that pastures flourish bonkers..

i bounce of tone two tone of ton tied sonnets with,
you know, know insert remove all comments when....i want madness inside my mind to deflower uptown with uptown opposite.....
as SELF known none no i
next for lavish yes you and me coverage less.. SINCE YONKERS!?

I birth in silence, unearthed and violet..
cowering only the cowards that vibrate my pilot vibrant, politely powering progress approach is our apocalypse,
i am apologies prior,
i am todays cannot help you accordingly
i am youuuuuuuuuuu siezed in unknown of what is unnormally regognized past point of fowardly..

here is me, i lay before the baron privacy..
you open no you open
what is only possibly

i am your surroundings
i am the sleep i shone as read the town as down in me towering..

i am the next step you keep as i for line of lowering, inside lower me you have showered in..

NEED no need

i breach from the felt found to know the masses bleed..
speech spoke speak only to speak remove me relate i am famished me, famished you to vanish read..

pull pull pull
yet do not slide,

i only supply what is offer in piece of mind..
a switch of sides uncontrolled controlled of find..

once found........

.....

..
.
.
.
*i clang............
can you hang my man
..............bang badda bing dang*

my lips are....recreated in differ

i
i
i

.....................

[2tripple0]

All Day

I'm trying to work this new style I was introduced to
caught rethinking my ideas as to was I'm supposed to do
cause I have no real plans and my life is kind of askew
and I'm trying to redevelop the life that I knew
anyways I put out a schedule for me to kind of review
it took a couple of days for me to draw it up though
but you see now I know whats going on and how to keep it true
so I started working out the kinks and putting it through the motions
and all of a sudden mad people want to get down with the program
and even though I aint worth shit each day in and out I stick to it
because before I even got here I was just lost and completely useless
but its been 4 and a half months now and im pretty sure its taken me years
cause I kind of lost the plot and fell off a bit but I'm going make this pioneer
anyways the people that I met along the way that wanted to get involved
started to mess with my shit and fuck me up and say everythings my fault
they started taking credit for my shit and putting me through hell
even my family wanted to fuck me and they ruined everything then blamed it on myself
so now I'm sitting here four and half months in and everything has changed a bit
cause this new style I drew up has turned out to be a bit more complex than I'd like to admit
guess life is just chaotic and now I'm surrounded by this horrible system
and I wish I could go back to the beginning of my life instead of stuck in this vision
if that makes sense but i'll try to say it again in a different way
im stuck working on this endless project that isn't working and its just really lame
and I wish I could start again from the beginning
but life isn't like that theres no second chances when it comes to living....

[Nick James]

candy - i get the feeling that speaking in riddles is the point of this piece? kind've unclear and I couldnt connect with the meaning as well as I wuldve liked because you kept spinning me in circles by riddling words lol. its all good.. ur vocab n poetry are the shining points.

2trip - im pretty sure this is telling a story about urself? id like to see you take yourself out of the normalcy of focusing on yourself and broaden ur perspective. Idk tell the story through a fans eyes of the ariane grande bombin in london lol.. I kno thats round ur parts u might relate to that. for this piece though u were easier to follow along with than candy. I felt a hint of emotion n u actually did a good job with the ending.

vote - 2trip

[15th]

I love topical battles.. but the format is horrible.. each writer should have to write about the same thing with a direct topic.

First writers crytric poetic style just misses the mark.. its hard to follow. Maybe i would feel this more as a poetry piece .


2nd writers style was easier to follow but what is the topic? "All day" .. bars were stretched a bit and would be hard to fit to a beat.. but overall i liked this better..

Vote - 2tripple0

Dont get me wrong im not knocking either of you. Both talented writers but i think the format of the tournament set up people to fail.

[Woke]

Candy - I'm not sure what the shit was going on here honestly. You misspelled plenty of words and this only helped to confuse me further with a read that blew me to left field as it is. I wish I had the patience to attempt to truly decipher this read, because I'm sure there is a hidden meaning, but the read is just maddening trying to make sense of it. I'm over it. sorry.


2triple0 - This was a nice little read. Short and sweet compared to Candy. I'm not sure if the main character was in rehab or some type of therapy session or if the guy was actually writing about writing, which is not a new concept, but always a fun one. decent flow, nothing special, but again, comparing to Candy much improved.'

This was not the greatest battle, but thank you both for the reads. It's been many years for me and this is my first couple of reads back at it. Hopefully we all learned something from this.


Vote 2triple0 for better structure in a sense

[Candy]

watchmojo.com climax victim unviel

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Upton

[Candy]

panties sniffing https://i0.wp.com/www.wetinhappen.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/sniffing-panties-thumb.jpg?ssl=1

[Candy]

http://38.media.tumblr.com/d21e8776d69b5d049d78a41e4dd9bde8/tumblr_ngkdf1sq9x1qb9y67o1_500.gif
victim

[Candy]

https://t6.rbxcdn.com/e17ae79dd774fdcfc7b62f1f3d54225c

[Candy]

http://i.imgur.com/MTfJuB5.gif

[Candy]

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/nintendo/images/7/7a/Super_Princess_Peach_pic.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130625010944&path-prefix=en

[Candy]

https://cdn0.woolworths.media/content/wowproductimages/large/784944.jpg

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Candy: You're clearly a 15 and a half year old South Korean nerd (presumably a guy with a bowl cut and pudgy gut), who's spazzing the fuck out from a sugar overload caused by one too many pixie sticks. I assume you wrote this verse in a tiny, space efficient room, littered with bug eyed-stuffed aliens, DBZ posters, and Anime figurines. You're girlfriend is virtual and requires many crypto-tokens to even acknowledge your Mushroom Princess underpants wearing existence. With that said, your words read like your keyboard is fuckin drunk or high or is somehow struggling to translate from Sanskrit into English; which I know makes no logical sense whatsoever. Well, usually it wouldn't. But today, after reading your algorithm, I think we need not apply any logic to a verse written by a heartbroken Teletubby on LSD. But, thank you for the hit. I needed that.

Vote - 230 because Candy is clearly a troll.

[ACTIVATE SELF]

2tripple0

All Day

I'm trying to work this new style I was introduced to
caught rethinking my ideas as to was I'm supposed to do
cause I have no real plans and my life is kind of askew
and I'm trying to redevelop the life that I knew
anyways I put out a schedule for me to kind of review
it took a couple of days for me to draw it up though
but you see now I know whats going on and how to keep it true
so I started working out the kinks and putting it through the motions
and all of a sudden mad people want to get down with the program
and even though I aint worth shit each day in and out I stick to it
because before I even got here I was just lost and completely useless
but its been 4 and a half months now and im pretty sure its taken me years
cause I kind of lost the plot and fell off a bit but I'm going make this pioneer
anyways the people that I met along the way that wanted to get involved
started to mess with my shit and fuck me up and say everythings my fault

I have no clue what this "thing/program" of yours is. But you're doing a lot of built-up for it. Hope it's reveal doesn't fall flat in an anti-climatic fashion. OAN. You're rhymes may not be super lyrical or extremely complex, but I sure do dig the nitty gritty down to earth lingo you write in. It comes across as being solid and authenic.

they started taking credit for my shit and putting me through hell
even my family wanted to fuck me and they ruined everything then blamed it on myself
so now I'm sitting here four and half months in and everything has changed a bit
cause this new style I drew up has turned out to be a bit more complex than I'd like to admit
guess life is just chaotic and now I'm surrounded by this horrible system
and I wish I could go back to the beginning of my life instead of stuck in this vision
if that makes sense but i'll try to say it again in a different way
im stuck working on this endless project that isn't working and its just really lame
and I wish I could start again from the beginning
but life isn't like that theres no second chances when it comes to living....

Sooooo....huh? I still have no clue what this piece was about. I think you forgot to throw in a plot and a point. Lol. Come on Trip. I was riding with you, dawg. I really thought you'd come through in the clutch. Oh, well. But, yeah, you're most endearing quality is your realness when it comes it writing. Besides that, in this particular instance, I liked the clean and clear lines you put down. You had no bumps, stumbles or hiccups. It was smooth reading from start to finish. Strangley, even though your concept was completely on E, I still enjoyed reading this. That's saying something. However, don't go this route against more serious writers, because the end result will be much different. Decent showing my man. It's alway cool to read your stuff.

Candy: You got skills, but I know that your indecipherable gibberish is really just trolling to max.