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View Full Version : When Life sucker-punches you in the back of the head


Chill Phil
03-09-2018, 09:57 AM
Yesterday I was driving around a town that had no cell phone service. I stopped at a gas station that looked like the kind of gas station I shouldn't have stopped at. But I figured, "if I get blown away with a shot gun, I definitely won't have to pay bills anymore." I know I was being judgmental, but at the same time I was feeling pretty good about my decision to go inside the store and possibly end my debt forever.


Anyways...

The door jingled as I entered, and a woman in her 50's who clearly chain-smoked cheap cigarettes exclaimed at my presence. And by "exclaimed at my presence," I mean she raised her eyebrows while she looked at me. I know, I'm judging... There was a radio playing in the back corner of the store. Then I said "Hiya!" Making sure to sound extra non-threatening. 'Cause let's be serious...I don't NOT look threatening, even to myself (thanks to TV and film). She responded with a sharp "hi," a decibel above a whisper.I turned to look at the snacks, but after a few seconds, I'm feeling the tension rise --warmth on the back of my neck--, so I just quickly grabbed a bag of chips, and then walked around to the refrigerated beverages toward the back of the store.

"Who eats chips without anything to wash it down?" That's the thought I had while trying to distract myself from the more serious thought of "I'm sure she thinks I'm up to no good." I know, I'm judging.


But here we go...

The lady walks around the counter and follows me to the back corner of the store where the radio was, and turns down the volume. She was completely in my personal space at this point. "Too damn loud," she says. I'm uncomfortable having this person directly behind me, so I grab the drink I had no intentions of drinking and make my way to the check out counter. I walked with extra pep in my step 'cause I want to get back in the car, and get the fuck out of this uncomfortable ass situation. A SITUATION. She's keeping pace behind me I'm thinking "oh she probably thinks I'm gonna run out of the store."


Again...I know, I'm judging.


I get to the check out counter and that's when I notice they had all sorts of dead animal jerky. I grab one of each and I'm all, "HELLLLLL YEEEEAAAAH! DEAD ANIMAL FLESH IN A PLASTIC POUUUUUCH." The tension dissipated, her shoulders relaxed, my shoulders relaxed, and we both started genuinely smiling. We even made small talk and she wished me a safe journey home. Moral of the story, maybe racial tension is an imaginary thing, and we're so wrapped up in the illusion that we don't take the time to see that people are just people...BUT buying beef/bison/venison jerky can ease racial tension whether it exists or not. You should try it!

Chill Phil
03-09-2018, 10:13 AM
AND...

My entire life for as long as I've been self aware and able to remember, I FUCKING THOUGHT THIS GUY WAS BLACK.


wtf?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z38cpa5KFYs

Inno
03-09-2018, 10:13 AM
WHATA TWIST!

Ghost1
03-09-2018, 10:36 AM
u want me to neg u in this thread or surprise you randomly later on>?

King Karaoke
03-09-2018, 11:33 AM
Hi...

Im so tired of this "all lives matter" nigga...

Bye...

Aero
03-09-2018, 11:49 AM
Hi...

Im so tired of this "all lives matter" nigga...

Bye...


This nigga is the worst. Nigga was clearly judged by his skin tone even though he looks like a doofus. He panicked like a bitch & bought more items out of sheer anxiety. Moral of story was put whitey at ease with your love of beef jerky. Sure thing boss! Anything else ya need suh? Beef jerky? Don't mind if I do! Ass nigga.

Geno
03-09-2018, 12:40 PM
Smh

Inno
03-09-2018, 01:37 PM
It’s hilarious to me that kar and Asian bob hate Phil cuz he doesn’t act like the typical negro they think he should act like. Lmao.
Aero he should of went in there cracker this cracker that nalm talking bout yo. Fuck you cracker as crackers gimme my forty

Would that of been black enough for you?

Amen
03-09-2018, 01:40 PM
And them are the "Black people" I dislike because they are the racist ones.

Phil isn't the problem, YOU ARE.

The fuck you mean he isn't acting like the "Typical" black person - wtf is the "Typical" black person?

Welfare, jobless, piece of shit, dirt person, loud obnoxious? WHAT?

Ugh, don't get me started.

Aero
03-09-2018, 01:49 PM
It’s hilarious to me that kar and Asian bob hate Phil cuz he doesn’t act like the typical negro they think he should act like. Lmao.
Aero he should of went in there cracker this cracker that nalm talking bout yo. Fuck you cracker as crackers gimme my forty

Would that of been black enough for you?


No you mark ass bitch. What he should've done was gotten the items he went in for & left without being a nervous wreck or trying to appease whites. If she was pressing him he could ask can I help you? Take ya tubby ass away from me Inno you're not intelligent or talented enough to address someone of my caliber.

Chill Phil
03-09-2018, 01:55 PM
lol

Aero
03-09-2018, 01:59 PM
lol

lol you trying me. I get it. I fell into the trap this was good. Liked the humor in the story this was obviously satire and I fell for it. Karaoke set me off, I would've just laughed at this.

Props.

Ghost1
03-09-2018, 02:00 PM
lmao its always amusing to watch aero try to toggle thru popular black slang from movies and relevant entertainment outlets that he has access to, especially when he tosses in outdated ones ...fucking annihilated at mark ass bitch LMFAO aero the fucking time travelling chigger channeling menace to society typing hip quips from his laptop in a bubblegoose tommy Hilfiger lmaoooooooooooooo

Cred
03-09-2018, 02:03 PM
lmao its always amusing to watch aero try to toggle thru popular black slang from movies and relevant entertainment outlets that he has access to, especially when he tosses in outdated ones ...fucking annihilated at mark ass bitch LMFAO aero the fucking time travelling chigger channeling menace to society typing hip quips from his laptop in a bubblegoose tommy Hilfiger lmaoooooooooooooo



I came in here to say this same shit. I was like this nigga aero might actually be black lmaooo but he obv jus a muhfucka hip to social media etc

Aero
03-09-2018, 02:03 PM
lmao its always amusing to watch aero try to toggle thru popular black slang from movies and relevant entertainment outlets that he has access to, especially when he tosses in outdated ones ...fucking annihilated at mark ass bitch LMFAO aero the fucking time travelling chigger channeling menace to society typing hip quips from his laptop in a bubblegoose tommy Hilfiger lmaoooooooooooooo


Lol the Menace to Society reference was on purpose as it mirrored Phil's situation. Good catch though. Your knowledge of popular black culture is astounding for someone who pretends to dislike blacks.

Aero
03-09-2018, 02:05 PM
Blue Bayou I see you and I miss you. Been thinking of you from time to time.

Ghost1
03-09-2018, 02:31 PM
Lol the Menace to Society reference was on purpose as it mirrored Phil's situation. Good catch though. Your knowledge of popular black culture is astounding for someone who pretends to dislike blacks.

subtly sides me against the blacks........lol yo aero YOU SMART....lol but im smarter. (negged)

Ghost1
03-09-2018, 02:32 PM
I came in here to say this same shit. I was like this nigga aero might actually be black lmaooo but he obv jus a muhfucka hip to social media etc

lmao legitttt

Inno
03-09-2018, 04:24 PM
Despite all of this Phil is still blacker than you Aero

It bothers you I know.

Elemental P
03-09-2018, 04:58 PM
Fuck yea beef jerky. Tbh this sounded like some Texas Chainsaw scenario shit, I thought Phil over here telling us the last moments of his life before his phone dies and gets turned in to chili meat....she probably laughed cuz that wasn't animal meat in them packages lmao

Chill Phil
03-10-2018, 10:42 AM
lol you trying me. I get it. I fell into the trap this was good. Liked the humor in the story this was obviously satire and I fell for it. Karaoke set me off, I would've just laughed at this.

Props.

It's not satire. It actually happened you fat faggot.

Witty
03-10-2018, 10:44 AM
Don't worry. Aero is Asian. Closest he gets to racism is the white devil assuming he's good at math.

Chill Phil
03-10-2018, 10:45 AM
Hi...

Im so tired of this "all lives matter" nigga...

Bye...

Well, I'm totally open to you telling me not only how I should feel about others, but also, how I should live my life.

Because, let's be real... you're better than everyone at everything.

uh-oh
03-10-2018, 10:55 AM
im only disappointed in the misleading thread title.

Chill Phil
03-10-2018, 12:09 PM
im only disappointed in the misleading thread title.

I meant to say when a "life lesson," sucker punches you

uh-oh
03-10-2018, 03:04 PM
i dont GET IT PHIL.

but hey man i was bored and just made this pretty shit i kinda like it for being super busy and loopy

https://instaud.io/1T2q

i didn't want to make a new thread so its yours now.

Chill Phil
03-10-2018, 09:15 PM
i dont GET IT PHIL.

but hey man i was bored and just made this pretty shit i kinda like it for being super busy and loopy

https://instaud.io/1T2q

i didn't want to make a new thread so its yours now.

The life lesson is I shouldn't judge.

Love the beat though dude. It sounds like you. Distinct.