sral
04-10-2018, 03:42 AM
https://image.ibb.co/kNAjnc/Hotor_Thot2.jpg
HOT OR THOT 2018 FINALS MAGAZINE
Welcome back, boils and ghouls!
Well guys, we finally made it to this point. This is it. Two losers, one winner, and only their pride and ex-girlfriends honour on the line haha! This has been a crazy ass fucking tourney idea and all-round success so far which promises to carry on that momentum going into this last matchup. Both are one win away from gold and one loss away from knowing they couldn't even win at the thing they're good at. It's all on the line in this winner takes all clash, with the Muffin Man a clear favourite by some margin but make no bones about it, Jay Welsh has been putting in consistent performances of late and that dogged determination has paid off so far to lead him here. He won't be looking to roll over and let Muff tickle his stomach. This is a dog fight and should Jay find something to sink his teeth into, this could be a vicious and brutal fight til the end. Tears will be shed when these two pitbbulls lock jaws and that makes for a mouthwatering prospect for us all viewing. Huge respect to both competitors for their achievements so far, but all that will soon be forgotten if they don't win the one that matters both. No one cares about second place. This is your time to carve your name in NC history and claim the right to be known as the first Hot or Thot Tournament Champion. So with both finalists declared, let's have a look back on how things panned out last round, both guys journeys here, and compare the two to maybe give some insight into what we can expect from this final matchup between them both...
SEMI-FINALS RECAP!
The final four round saw Muff face off against Diablo in a heated exchange, finishing 7-3 in Muff's favour. What made this battle all the more interesting was the revelation that Muff's former flame is now a meth user and a shadow of her former self. Much to Muff's chagrin. This was never going to end well for Muffin as even if he won the battle, which he did, ultimately the war ended in NC's favour as another chapter in Mr Nigpen's colourfully chequered past was written and re-written until it became a bad Breaking Bad parody haha! This was the closest battle of the round, with Muff's clowning style ultimately winning over Diablo's creativity, but the style clash made for interesting reading and voting all the same and ended with The Muffin Man rightly claiming his place in the finals after a hard fought 7-3 victory!
Next up we had Killing Spree vs Jay Welsh go down once the weekly snowstorm of Killing Spree's life had died down, and it saw these two evenly matched competitors square off with a place in the finals at stake. This one ended with Jay Welsh dominating the votes, making it a complete blowout, largely due to the fact he picked apart several aspects of the picture and made a complete verse out of it rather than focusing his attentions solely on one angle and attacking that. I'd say if he's to have success against Muff in the final match, this is the same approach he has to find. Decimate several aspects rather than just the most obvious. Ultimately Jay ended up winning in a landslide victory that sets us up nicely for a finals with him and Muff both riding on the crests of waves right now.
TOP PUNCHLINES
Last round saw us with just two battles and four competitors remaining and heat rocks burning right throughout to a smouldering finish. Pure heat.
These guys went HAM last round...
Maan..Id mind fuck the bitches internal wiring until i see sparks
Infilitrate her mind n leave this Cat so crazy her bitchin sounds like Barcs
Jay Welsh vs Killing Spree
title shot? You suck cock for rock, fag you aint got the balls to loot me
You saw this thot dressed like a massive pussy an thought, "yo that bodysuits me
Jay Welsh vs Killing Spree
Who ever said Jay dope is Lion, Tiger is the lamest dude
Girl aint fazed face to face W/a Giant pussy..Ever since she dated U"
Killing Spree vs Jay Welsh
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it brofat wife
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a rowfat wife
Muff vs Diablo
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tombfat wife
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the roomfat wife
Muff vs Diablo
lmao you dated a Shebrew so you already nose she a fivefat wife
this bitch beak 'so long', you ain't farewell since she told you goodbye
Diablo vs Muff
bitch favorite flavour lipgloss is "Dick Snot" and this weirdo agrees
she a soldier though.. cuz beneath all that warpaint we still see her fatigue
Diablo vs Muff
VERSE OF THE WEEK
This week I've gone with Muff (again) arguably favourite to take the entire thing and consistently putting out that funny clowning shit that's been a staple of HoT I feel. This shit was lulzy all round but those opening six or so really set the tone perfectly for me. Fantastic stuff I thought. This guy been on some other shit right throughout HoT and is the heavy favourite for a reason. He's unbeatable in this form.
https://preview.ibb.co/e8yj07/IMG_7751.jpg
Last rd was atrocious . but this pic is just sadder
Its clear life has it ups n Downs .. But you. just... haddd to go stick dick to the latter
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it bro
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a row
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tomb
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the room
This frumpy giantress u smilin w/ is scary as hell
Bro u wont power forward to the next rd postin pix of a bitch built like Kevin McHale
Lars like "I got me a librarian " all smug with a grin
I Would say she has a decent head on her shoulders but unfortunately boooth u niggas ugly as sin
Yu look this slow bich in the face "ull be my wife in a yr"
I bet when an Autism Speaks commercial comes on u fake sob n wipe up her tears
Tard chaser obviously n I commend your insistence
U got urself a Keeper bruh: . yah , She's a goalie from the Special Olympics
W/ that permanent Concussion gaze that's impossibly treated
Glasses give her Super Vision. But the bich looks like she constantly needs it
If the Bih talk to me ? Ill just aim to disperse
Coz her chins not only well pronounced - its fluent in every fkn language on Earth
Neck long af . . sets off car alarms when she gasps
"No One Chokes me durin Sex-" yeh coz it'll take like 5 ppl to accomplish the task
BATTLE OF THE WEEK
I realllyyyyyy didn't want to go with my own battle because it seems egotistical and arrogant but seeing as the only other match up was a complete whitewash votes wise, it really left no other option this week and fuck it, me vs Muff was dope all round so that's what we're going with here. Like it or not. Crazy ass battle for a semi final and again, props to Muff on his victory. The guy is incredible.
https://preview.ibb.co/e8yj07/IMG_7751.jpg
Last rd was atrocious . but this pic is just sadder
Its clear life has it ups n Downs .. But you. just... haddd to go stick dick to the latter
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it bro
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a row
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tomb
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the room
This frumpy giantress u smilin w/ is scary as hell
Bro u wont power forward to the next rd postin pix of a bitch built like Kevin McHale
Lars like "I got me a librarian " all smug with a grin
I Would say she has a decent head on her shoulders but unfortunately boooth u niggas ugly as sin
Yu look this slow bich in the face "ull be my wife in a yr"
I bet when an Autism Speaks commercial comes on u fake sob n wipe up her tears
Tard chaser obviously n I commend your insistence
U got urself a Keeper bruh: . yah , She's a goalie from the Special Olympics
W/ that permanent Concussion gaze that's impossibly treated
Glasses give her Super Vision. But the bich looks like she constantly needs it
If the Bih talk to me ? Ill just aim to disperse
Coz her chins not only well pronounced - its fluent in every fkn language on Earth
Neck long af . . sets off car alarms when she gasps
"No One Chokes me durin Sex-" yeh coz it'll take like 5 ppl to accomplish the task
vs
https://image.ibb.co/m560jc/IMG_7785.png
lmao bitch was never wifey, taste tested your own sperm together nightly
Street Fighter II Turbo cheat.. if she down right up and left then Y, B?!
white meats nose a Pythagorean problem, not like you give a shit
aint care what anyone else sphinx when you were lion next to that pyramid
bitch legit think she the placenta of attention but the pussy be trash
if thats her 'facial' expression, I'd sooner bust a nut in her ass
prolly dumped you for Bags once Tinderella noticed the fact
black brah on her shoulder ain't supportive it's just holding her back
smoking that dank while she concealer need to lay with a real dude
you maybelline in that pic but she sure as hell ain't made up to see you
https://image.ibb.co/g5xjAH/IMG_7869.png
lmao you dated a Shebrew so you already nose she a five
this bitch beak 'so long', you ain't farewell since she told you goodbye
she looks so fucking tired of hearing how your misplaced jizz tastes
white bitch in need of arrest.. faggot, she Nick James with a wig change
bitch favorite flavour lipgloss is "Dick Snot" and this weirdo agrees
she a soldier though.. cuz beneath all that warpaint we still see her fatigue
one sneeze and we'll see the world end in a flood of catarrh
can't even look at that nose-width out thinking it's what pushed you apart
her pussy four stars on ClitAdvisor, you got played for a cash cow
can't make a hoe a housewife when hardwood ingrained in her background
ROAST WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT
This weeks roast saw Amen supply us with a picture of a Dominican broad with her titties out sexting him. Lol. Several entrants took part, but there was a clear winner in Cashius last week I felt, who had people voting for him before the roast was even declared closed. It's kind of hard to disagree with them as Cashius went allllll the way in on the picture. Absolute fire as always from the NC Hall of Famer himself! Huge congrats to Cashius who has aan accomplishment added and MASSIVE thank you to everyone that got involved!
http://i.imgur.com/MZ6GZEi.jpg
That bitch got viruses...Dick prolly hurts like hell and bet it stings
Amen don’t care...Discussion already proved he’ll insert himself into ANYTHING
God pulling tricks on this faggot. Like “Watch, I’mma play with son”
He gave your wife the body of a man...and your ex the face of one
Why you always fucking manly women? Plus...they be diseased
You obviously got a Type, kid. That’s Hepatitis...A, B, or C
That bitch take ROPES! But your message was gay...Jesus you’re a pest
That hoe been getting hit with Cum Lines since 98’...and she don’t even text
She looks like she works at the Bodega. Still let the bitch feed on the hammer
She cheat on you, Fam. Ya’ll thought THIS fruit was on her head...until the Chiquita Banana
She prefers MY cock. Spanish faggot ain’t pleasin’ this down bitch
Looks like she likes the white rod in her bed but she sleeps on that brown shit
Guarantee that chick lives in a hut. Indigenous as fuck. Hell, the shit’s insane...
“XZY” ain’t code to hide from your new girl...It’s how you spell this bitches name
THE FINAL TWO
So there we have it, our final two are in place, the scene is set for an epic clash of the titans in a never-before-seen ex-girlfriend picture battle between two opponents who have never faced each other previously and both are returning heads who've made those returns in this very tournament. Pretty cool, right? I think so, at least. We did have a video breakdown from The Lime's own Bags to hear what he had to say on the prospect of these two being in the final and his thoughts on the tourney so far but it got lost when his YouTube account got zapped so here's a write-up I did before we get the battle underway:
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jay Welsh came into this tourney largely an unknown. After coming up with the initial idea of an ex-girlfriend picture tourney, he signed in when he saw it had become a reality. No one expected him to make it this far, let alone me. Since then he's claimed a few scalps, defeating Schadenfreude convincingly in the opening round to advance against one of the tourneys early favourites in Barcotic. After a hard found victory over Barc, Jay was then placed into the semi finals against a returning Killing Spree following Nick James' (another early favourite) exit from HoT Jay's path has been arguably the more difficult of the two here, but he's not here on merit alone, dude has found a way to beat everyone we thought he wouldn't and now just needs to do that again in order to champ the entire thing. The odds seem stacked against him, but he's done it before and he's proved that. Just never against Muff. Can he do it? It's a very real possibility and one were all relishing to see!
Muff's run has some similarities to Jay's but also there's differences. Muff, too, was a late entrant into the tourney - himself acting as a replacement for someone I choose to forget off hand. He was first pitted against Joe Boston in what turned out to be one of the better battles of round one, where Muff set down an early marker of what was to come with some absolute haymakers of that initial round and comedic gold. Funnily enough it was a gold medalist Olympics line that was the most quoted from that verse. I didn't plan that while writing this either. I promise. Muff advanced to face Bleak who had a savage verse against a no-showing Cred in round one, so we were all expecting Bleak to bring the pain against Muff's choice Thot in round two but Muff even managed to overcome the vastly improved Bleak to make the semi finals, where he faced a shady Diablo in a slobberknocker and again came through unscathed to stake his claim for the HoT championship. Which brings us all to this point, THE TOURNEY FINALS! One final matchup. Winner takes all. Loser goes home empty handed. Everything on the line in one last twenty line battle. You guys ready? The battlers sure are. I am too. Let's end this tourney with a massive high and make it the success we all know it was gonna be. You guys helped make this tourney just as much as I did, and I've shown how serious I've taken it, the rest is now in your hands. Let's make this one for the ages!
HOT OR THOT 2018 FINALS PREDICTIONS
Throughout the tourney Jay Welsh has opted for a very astute style and attack, choosing to insult various elements of the picture and pick up on subtleties rather than taking a direct approach and that's served him well, particularly last round, where he won voters over with his variation and variety. Following the run away success he had with that last round, it's hard to see him going any other way in this final matchup. Muff on the other hand has shown a tendency to go for clowning above all else, sometimes winning based on his haymakers littered throughout the verse rather than his consistency. This is why the battle should be so good, of course. Battling is always subjective and comes down to personal preference but I think voters will be split on this one as they have been with these guys battles throughout HoT or Thot. Muff may be avoided slightly as he has more experience and NC humour about him, but Jay has proved us wrong time and time again and him winning is a very real possibility. Don't write him off just yet. The guys one solid performance away from being crowned king and if ever there was a time to put in the extra effort then this is it.
Muff has been wilding on acid tabs this entire tourney to the point he's become NC's own Phony Montana, a characture of himself I'm sure but a very hard to beat one. Muff 2.0 seems highly motivated even with him being drawn into using The Lime as his very own confessional booth that can be a double edged sword, as so often proven, but right now he's in a good place. Every round has seen him clown his opponents creatively and those haymakers he possesses have proved lethal. His time away hasn't dulled his pen, its sharp as ever - so to see his observations and what I like to call "character assassination" because he goes beyond the visual infront of him and builds up a personality trait for the picture. Great examples of this are his Redneck Joe Boston army looking bitch that became a gold medallist loogie hocker and, of course, my down-syndrome broad from last round. Very amusing. He utilises this well and Jay could be on for a rough ride should Muff Daddy find the right angle to execute to perfection. The thing that's proven Muff's Achilles heel if you will throughout had been his inconsistency. A lot of voters commented in their votes that there were swings and misses, but those that hit were absolute bangers! I think it's safe to say Muff will also stick with his tried and tested formula here, largely of clowning and haymakers rather than trying for intricate wordplays or punchlines and you can't really fault for him for that cause of it ain't broke, why fix it? This should be a great battle to go out on and in relishing the prospect in truth. Let's send HoT out the only way we know how here at NC. Bars on top of bars. This shit is about to be LIT!!!!
PRESIDENT LARS PUBLIC ADDRESS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3ICjIaJcLI
WTF's And LMAO's OF THE WEEK
WTF @ a Jay Welsh vs Muff finals match!?
LMAO @ Amens hat pic last week as the culmination to his recent posting marathon.
WTF @ how dope a run this tourneys had though?!
LMAO @ Flo Real coming back from textcee obscurity, changing his name, then suddenly bossing text. Amazing.
WTF @ how much Genocide fell in love with this shit?!
LMAO @ how he may genuinely shed a tear or three once this battles done.
WTF @ dull boy planning a rebuttal tourney after this is done out of nowhere?!
LMAO @ Robranda's name change to Sunny. Does anyone even call her anything by DG and Robreezy?!
WTF @ how I'm gonna miss writing these, weirdly enough!
LMAO @ Ghost1 looking weirdly like me in our video mags but then his video being lost in the YouTube void and no one ever getting to see that
WTF @ Geno eagerly freeposting in the finals thread before the battles even up?!
LMAO @ neither finalist agreeing pics yet. Both sound scared, for real.
WTF @ Me possibly having to decide which pics you both use
LMAO @ the prospect of a bigger Hot or Thot tourney for next year!
HOT OR THOT 2018 FINALS MAGAZINE
Welcome back, boils and ghouls!
Well guys, we finally made it to this point. This is it. Two losers, one winner, and only their pride and ex-girlfriends honour on the line haha! This has been a crazy ass fucking tourney idea and all-round success so far which promises to carry on that momentum going into this last matchup. Both are one win away from gold and one loss away from knowing they couldn't even win at the thing they're good at. It's all on the line in this winner takes all clash, with the Muffin Man a clear favourite by some margin but make no bones about it, Jay Welsh has been putting in consistent performances of late and that dogged determination has paid off so far to lead him here. He won't be looking to roll over and let Muff tickle his stomach. This is a dog fight and should Jay find something to sink his teeth into, this could be a vicious and brutal fight til the end. Tears will be shed when these two pitbbulls lock jaws and that makes for a mouthwatering prospect for us all viewing. Huge respect to both competitors for their achievements so far, but all that will soon be forgotten if they don't win the one that matters both. No one cares about second place. This is your time to carve your name in NC history and claim the right to be known as the first Hot or Thot Tournament Champion. So with both finalists declared, let's have a look back on how things panned out last round, both guys journeys here, and compare the two to maybe give some insight into what we can expect from this final matchup between them both...
SEMI-FINALS RECAP!
The final four round saw Muff face off against Diablo in a heated exchange, finishing 7-3 in Muff's favour. What made this battle all the more interesting was the revelation that Muff's former flame is now a meth user and a shadow of her former self. Much to Muff's chagrin. This was never going to end well for Muffin as even if he won the battle, which he did, ultimately the war ended in NC's favour as another chapter in Mr Nigpen's colourfully chequered past was written and re-written until it became a bad Breaking Bad parody haha! This was the closest battle of the round, with Muff's clowning style ultimately winning over Diablo's creativity, but the style clash made for interesting reading and voting all the same and ended with The Muffin Man rightly claiming his place in the finals after a hard fought 7-3 victory!
Next up we had Killing Spree vs Jay Welsh go down once the weekly snowstorm of Killing Spree's life had died down, and it saw these two evenly matched competitors square off with a place in the finals at stake. This one ended with Jay Welsh dominating the votes, making it a complete blowout, largely due to the fact he picked apart several aspects of the picture and made a complete verse out of it rather than focusing his attentions solely on one angle and attacking that. I'd say if he's to have success against Muff in the final match, this is the same approach he has to find. Decimate several aspects rather than just the most obvious. Ultimately Jay ended up winning in a landslide victory that sets us up nicely for a finals with him and Muff both riding on the crests of waves right now.
TOP PUNCHLINES
Last round saw us with just two battles and four competitors remaining and heat rocks burning right throughout to a smouldering finish. Pure heat.
These guys went HAM last round...
Maan..Id mind fuck the bitches internal wiring until i see sparks
Infilitrate her mind n leave this Cat so crazy her bitchin sounds like Barcs
Jay Welsh vs Killing Spree
title shot? You suck cock for rock, fag you aint got the balls to loot me
You saw this thot dressed like a massive pussy an thought, "yo that bodysuits me
Jay Welsh vs Killing Spree
Who ever said Jay dope is Lion, Tiger is the lamest dude
Girl aint fazed face to face W/a Giant pussy..Ever since she dated U"
Killing Spree vs Jay Welsh
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it brofat wife
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a rowfat wife
Muff vs Diablo
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tombfat wife
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the roomfat wife
Muff vs Diablo
lmao you dated a Shebrew so you already nose she a fivefat wife
this bitch beak 'so long', you ain't farewell since she told you goodbye
Diablo vs Muff
bitch favorite flavour lipgloss is "Dick Snot" and this weirdo agrees
she a soldier though.. cuz beneath all that warpaint we still see her fatigue
Diablo vs Muff
VERSE OF THE WEEK
This week I've gone with Muff (again) arguably favourite to take the entire thing and consistently putting out that funny clowning shit that's been a staple of HoT I feel. This shit was lulzy all round but those opening six or so really set the tone perfectly for me. Fantastic stuff I thought. This guy been on some other shit right throughout HoT and is the heavy favourite for a reason. He's unbeatable in this form.
https://preview.ibb.co/e8yj07/IMG_7751.jpg
Last rd was atrocious . but this pic is just sadder
Its clear life has it ups n Downs .. But you. just... haddd to go stick dick to the latter
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it bro
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a row
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tomb
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the room
This frumpy giantress u smilin w/ is scary as hell
Bro u wont power forward to the next rd postin pix of a bitch built like Kevin McHale
Lars like "I got me a librarian " all smug with a grin
I Would say she has a decent head on her shoulders but unfortunately boooth u niggas ugly as sin
Yu look this slow bich in the face "ull be my wife in a yr"
I bet when an Autism Speaks commercial comes on u fake sob n wipe up her tears
Tard chaser obviously n I commend your insistence
U got urself a Keeper bruh: . yah , She's a goalie from the Special Olympics
W/ that permanent Concussion gaze that's impossibly treated
Glasses give her Super Vision. But the bich looks like she constantly needs it
If the Bih talk to me ? Ill just aim to disperse
Coz her chins not only well pronounced - its fluent in every fkn language on Earth
Neck long af . . sets off car alarms when she gasps
"No One Chokes me durin Sex-" yeh coz it'll take like 5 ppl to accomplish the task
BATTLE OF THE WEEK
I realllyyyyyy didn't want to go with my own battle because it seems egotistical and arrogant but seeing as the only other match up was a complete whitewash votes wise, it really left no other option this week and fuck it, me vs Muff was dope all round so that's what we're going with here. Like it or not. Crazy ass battle for a semi final and again, props to Muff on his victory. The guy is incredible.
https://preview.ibb.co/e8yj07/IMG_7751.jpg
Last rd was atrocious . but this pic is just sadder
Its clear life has it ups n Downs .. But you. just... haddd to go stick dick to the latter
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it bro
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a row
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tomb
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the room
This frumpy giantress u smilin w/ is scary as hell
Bro u wont power forward to the next rd postin pix of a bitch built like Kevin McHale
Lars like "I got me a librarian " all smug with a grin
I Would say she has a decent head on her shoulders but unfortunately boooth u niggas ugly as sin
Yu look this slow bich in the face "ull be my wife in a yr"
I bet when an Autism Speaks commercial comes on u fake sob n wipe up her tears
Tard chaser obviously n I commend your insistence
U got urself a Keeper bruh: . yah , She's a goalie from the Special Olympics
W/ that permanent Concussion gaze that's impossibly treated
Glasses give her Super Vision. But the bich looks like she constantly needs it
If the Bih talk to me ? Ill just aim to disperse
Coz her chins not only well pronounced - its fluent in every fkn language on Earth
Neck long af . . sets off car alarms when she gasps
"No One Chokes me durin Sex-" yeh coz it'll take like 5 ppl to accomplish the task
vs
https://image.ibb.co/m560jc/IMG_7785.png
lmao bitch was never wifey, taste tested your own sperm together nightly
Street Fighter II Turbo cheat.. if she down right up and left then Y, B?!
white meats nose a Pythagorean problem, not like you give a shit
aint care what anyone else sphinx when you were lion next to that pyramid
bitch legit think she the placenta of attention but the pussy be trash
if thats her 'facial' expression, I'd sooner bust a nut in her ass
prolly dumped you for Bags once Tinderella noticed the fact
black brah on her shoulder ain't supportive it's just holding her back
smoking that dank while she concealer need to lay with a real dude
you maybelline in that pic but she sure as hell ain't made up to see you
https://image.ibb.co/g5xjAH/IMG_7869.png
lmao you dated a Shebrew so you already nose she a five
this bitch beak 'so long', you ain't farewell since she told you goodbye
she looks so fucking tired of hearing how your misplaced jizz tastes
white bitch in need of arrest.. faggot, she Nick James with a wig change
bitch favorite flavour lipgloss is "Dick Snot" and this weirdo agrees
she a soldier though.. cuz beneath all that warpaint we still see her fatigue
one sneeze and we'll see the world end in a flood of catarrh
can't even look at that nose-width out thinking it's what pushed you apart
her pussy four stars on ClitAdvisor, you got played for a cash cow
can't make a hoe a housewife when hardwood ingrained in her background
ROAST WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT
This weeks roast saw Amen supply us with a picture of a Dominican broad with her titties out sexting him. Lol. Several entrants took part, but there was a clear winner in Cashius last week I felt, who had people voting for him before the roast was even declared closed. It's kind of hard to disagree with them as Cashius went allllll the way in on the picture. Absolute fire as always from the NC Hall of Famer himself! Huge congrats to Cashius who has aan accomplishment added and MASSIVE thank you to everyone that got involved!
http://i.imgur.com/MZ6GZEi.jpg
That bitch got viruses...Dick prolly hurts like hell and bet it stings
Amen don’t care...Discussion already proved he’ll insert himself into ANYTHING
God pulling tricks on this faggot. Like “Watch, I’mma play with son”
He gave your wife the body of a man...and your ex the face of one
Why you always fucking manly women? Plus...they be diseased
You obviously got a Type, kid. That’s Hepatitis...A, B, or C
That bitch take ROPES! But your message was gay...Jesus you’re a pest
That hoe been getting hit with Cum Lines since 98’...and she don’t even text
She looks like she works at the Bodega. Still let the bitch feed on the hammer
She cheat on you, Fam. Ya’ll thought THIS fruit was on her head...until the Chiquita Banana
She prefers MY cock. Spanish faggot ain’t pleasin’ this down bitch
Looks like she likes the white rod in her bed but she sleeps on that brown shit
Guarantee that chick lives in a hut. Indigenous as fuck. Hell, the shit’s insane...
“XZY” ain’t code to hide from your new girl...It’s how you spell this bitches name
THE FINAL TWO
So there we have it, our final two are in place, the scene is set for an epic clash of the titans in a never-before-seen ex-girlfriend picture battle between two opponents who have never faced each other previously and both are returning heads who've made those returns in this very tournament. Pretty cool, right? I think so, at least. We did have a video breakdown from The Lime's own Bags to hear what he had to say on the prospect of these two being in the final and his thoughts on the tourney so far but it got lost when his YouTube account got zapped so here's a write-up I did before we get the battle underway:
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jay Welsh came into this tourney largely an unknown. After coming up with the initial idea of an ex-girlfriend picture tourney, he signed in when he saw it had become a reality. No one expected him to make it this far, let alone me. Since then he's claimed a few scalps, defeating Schadenfreude convincingly in the opening round to advance against one of the tourneys early favourites in Barcotic. After a hard found victory over Barc, Jay was then placed into the semi finals against a returning Killing Spree following Nick James' (another early favourite) exit from HoT Jay's path has been arguably the more difficult of the two here, but he's not here on merit alone, dude has found a way to beat everyone we thought he wouldn't and now just needs to do that again in order to champ the entire thing. The odds seem stacked against him, but he's done it before and he's proved that. Just never against Muff. Can he do it? It's a very real possibility and one were all relishing to see!
Muff's run has some similarities to Jay's but also there's differences. Muff, too, was a late entrant into the tourney - himself acting as a replacement for someone I choose to forget off hand. He was first pitted against Joe Boston in what turned out to be one of the better battles of round one, where Muff set down an early marker of what was to come with some absolute haymakers of that initial round and comedic gold. Funnily enough it was a gold medalist Olympics line that was the most quoted from that verse. I didn't plan that while writing this either. I promise. Muff advanced to face Bleak who had a savage verse against a no-showing Cred in round one, so we were all expecting Bleak to bring the pain against Muff's choice Thot in round two but Muff even managed to overcome the vastly improved Bleak to make the semi finals, where he faced a shady Diablo in a slobberknocker and again came through unscathed to stake his claim for the HoT championship. Which brings us all to this point, THE TOURNEY FINALS! One final matchup. Winner takes all. Loser goes home empty handed. Everything on the line in one last twenty line battle. You guys ready? The battlers sure are. I am too. Let's end this tourney with a massive high and make it the success we all know it was gonna be. You guys helped make this tourney just as much as I did, and I've shown how serious I've taken it, the rest is now in your hands. Let's make this one for the ages!
HOT OR THOT 2018 FINALS PREDICTIONS
Throughout the tourney Jay Welsh has opted for a very astute style and attack, choosing to insult various elements of the picture and pick up on subtleties rather than taking a direct approach and that's served him well, particularly last round, where he won voters over with his variation and variety. Following the run away success he had with that last round, it's hard to see him going any other way in this final matchup. Muff on the other hand has shown a tendency to go for clowning above all else, sometimes winning based on his haymakers littered throughout the verse rather than his consistency. This is why the battle should be so good, of course. Battling is always subjective and comes down to personal preference but I think voters will be split on this one as they have been with these guys battles throughout HoT or Thot. Muff may be avoided slightly as he has more experience and NC humour about him, but Jay has proved us wrong time and time again and him winning is a very real possibility. Don't write him off just yet. The guys one solid performance away from being crowned king and if ever there was a time to put in the extra effort then this is it.
Muff has been wilding on acid tabs this entire tourney to the point he's become NC's own Phony Montana, a characture of himself I'm sure but a very hard to beat one. Muff 2.0 seems highly motivated even with him being drawn into using The Lime as his very own confessional booth that can be a double edged sword, as so often proven, but right now he's in a good place. Every round has seen him clown his opponents creatively and those haymakers he possesses have proved lethal. His time away hasn't dulled his pen, its sharp as ever - so to see his observations and what I like to call "character assassination" because he goes beyond the visual infront of him and builds up a personality trait for the picture. Great examples of this are his Redneck Joe Boston army looking bitch that became a gold medallist loogie hocker and, of course, my down-syndrome broad from last round. Very amusing. He utilises this well and Jay could be on for a rough ride should Muff Daddy find the right angle to execute to perfection. The thing that's proven Muff's Achilles heel if you will throughout had been his inconsistency. A lot of voters commented in their votes that there were swings and misses, but those that hit were absolute bangers! I think it's safe to say Muff will also stick with his tried and tested formula here, largely of clowning and haymakers rather than trying for intricate wordplays or punchlines and you can't really fault for him for that cause of it ain't broke, why fix it? This should be a great battle to go out on and in relishing the prospect in truth. Let's send HoT out the only way we know how here at NC. Bars on top of bars. This shit is about to be LIT!!!!
PRESIDENT LARS PUBLIC ADDRESS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3ICjIaJcLI
WTF's And LMAO's OF THE WEEK
WTF @ a Jay Welsh vs Muff finals match!?
LMAO @ Amens hat pic last week as the culmination to his recent posting marathon.
WTF @ how dope a run this tourneys had though?!
LMAO @ Flo Real coming back from textcee obscurity, changing his name, then suddenly bossing text. Amazing.
WTF @ how much Genocide fell in love with this shit?!
LMAO @ how he may genuinely shed a tear or three once this battles done.
WTF @ dull boy planning a rebuttal tourney after this is done out of nowhere?!
LMAO @ Robranda's name change to Sunny. Does anyone even call her anything by DG and Robreezy?!
WTF @ how I'm gonna miss writing these, weirdly enough!
LMAO @ Ghost1 looking weirdly like me in our video mags but then his video being lost in the YouTube void and no one ever getting to see that
WTF @ Geno eagerly freeposting in the finals thread before the battles even up?!
LMAO @ neither finalist agreeing pics yet. Both sound scared, for real.
WTF @ Me possibly having to decide which pics you both use
LMAO @ the prospect of a bigger Hot or Thot tourney for next year!