Mr. J vs Adonis[J wins]

[Inno]

NWL:Season I: Week IV



Verses ares due: FRIDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Voting ends: SUNDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Line Limit: Minimum:10 lines, Max: 30

Voting on 2 battles is required.


TOPIC:

SWAG N FLOW: YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

GOODLUCK.


Adonis Mr. J

[Adonis]

So, what is swag and flow? Is there an example I can look at somewhere? Innovator

[Adonis]

Mr. J

I think we're destined to be rivals. Ext? I haven't begun and no free time tomorrow. But I'll try to post something tomorrow if ext declined

[Mr. J]

Check....ok

[Mr. J]

Im here

[Adonis]

Bump your body, get crunk and naughty
That’s your ass? clap that bitch until you’re lost…then found me
Flip that switch, get drowsy
Smoke a spliff and dry heave
Become a gift of my dreams
Not tied down by my genes,
But tied down for the love of…
What’s inside of my jeans
Come on, like me…
Exciting writing
But you’ll never be just like me,
Although you’re try-ing
Twisting rhythm into arithmetic
Folding sentences into a censorship
A raging fire burning inside of penmanship
Captain obvious capsized, come…watch him ending it
If your wrote for purpose instead of rhyme on surface
You'd still be worthless but you might have a shot at being Adonis

[Mr. J]

Word wrangler wrapped in wisdom waiting quietly
Wizadry written as a rap and delivered in every variety
milk hued views on upbringing, aged wine cup sinking.
I know what youre thinking, I fit it to a T, pinky up, singing...
my exaggeration carries on longer than paragraph verses
mediocrity motivated as the higher ups is staring back nervous
off track hubris a nuisance with the last minute penmanship
fat ladys music while the noose is prepared for an opinion, send it in.
got a shell toe and a flip cellphone to make the call now.
the only radioactivity others experience is due to fallout.
anecdotes quoted due to a lack of effort, better scratch the excerpts
got ya girl screaming as I pull the wood out like I had Jenga stacked together

[John Dillinger]

Adonis

This flowed nicely, the ass clap line was kinda homo unless I'm missing something. From 'flip that switch' to 'tied down by my genes' was dope but after that it got kinda gay-ish again. Try-ing line was cool but simple. Sentences in to a censorship was cool. Capsized bar was kind of confusing and the ending was kinda simple again

Mr. J

Opened alright. Pinky up line was ok but not worded the best. Staring back nervous bar was dope. Fat lady/noose bar was cool. Fallout line was meh. Jenga line was cool but coulda been better imo

I'ma go with J on this one. A lil more creative w/ his verse imo

[bleak]

My style of SnF is more longbar I'd guess would be a good representation. I like when someone can fit as many inners as possible into a verse and have it read back smoothly. Both of you had an interesting approach to the topic, I liked reading both. I think J did more with the space he was given, had a couple really clean schemes/segments.

A, I think you could have had a better verse with more substance. Since they are very short lines, could have written 30 to give me more of a platform to build off of. Some of the setup lines for your schemes had great flow but then kinda read weird for me in the end.

J

The swag part is v important as well need to add some grime to these