veritas

[uh-oh]

whenever i see someone from my past, after the interaction, be it good or bad i end up in a shame spiral of misery

how does one overcome having been a piece of shit?

most people who are pieces of shit aren't cognizant of it, its sort of a prerequisite. but i was, and am fully aware of what i was, so how does one come to grips with it

[Destroyer]

forgive yourself
move on
be better

[uh-oh]

my strategy is

forget about it
move on
be better

which works until your reminded of it.

the whole forgiveness thing is probably the correct route. i was a legit scumbag THO. and i have my credo's and rules to life, where i wouldn't forgive others for said misdeeds, so if i was to forgive my own actions it would be hypocritical. at the same time i've made amends, which is supposed to clear the conscience somewhat, but not really

in reality its mainly just scumbag violence and thievery, general loser debauchery. but fucking over people who thought they were my friends but werent type scenarios.

today i ran into a peripheral friend of a certain scenario where someone we both know was a victim of my youthful retardation. it was just a casual oh watsup dude hows shit going scenario nothing to do with anything but it brought it all back up and i was miserable afterward because i was confronted by old demons. like he had nothing to do with anything other than i knew him from when i was scum

oh well. tis life, eh

[WRATH]

Stay the course

[Witty]

I get this.

Alcohol helps.

Until the next morning when you are extremely paranoid for no reason at all.

[Witty]

But yeah...you can't change the past my friend.

I live with the same shame and guilt as you. It may not ever go away, but you just have to be who you are now.

Love yourself bro.

[veritas]

The answer is tied to another question's answer, sir.

that being:

"How long does one need to be changed before people believe in the fact and treat him as such?"

the answer?

"As long as it takes."

the closer they were to you, or the more dirt you did to them, the longer it will take. It is also possible that they will never change their perceptions of you. You must wisely discern this.

The question now is, have you changed?

[uh-oh]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLprXKxbRiU

but nah of course i've changed. not mentally though. im still the same piece of shit i just don't put myself in position to be a piece of shit anymore.

also i want to say im not concerned with others perceptions of me, but i guess that is exactly it. this instance for example, in my head this person should see me as a piece of shit, but they don't. which complicates things because i'm a genuinely likable dude. which is stupid to say, but i feel like everyone wants to be my friend and i hate it. but anyways i think its alot of guilt in the sense that they shouldn't like me but they do. and then enlightenment. thanks doggie. i don't like myself so i don't get why others do.

boom

[veritas]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLprXKxbRiU

but nah of course i've changed. not mentally though. im still the same piece of shit i just don't put myself in position to be a piece of shit anymore.

also i want to say im not concerned with others perceptions of me, but i guess that is exactly it. this instance for example, in my head this person should see me as a piece of shit, but they don't. which complicates things because i'm a genuinely likable dude. which is stupid to say, but i feel like everyone wants to be my friend and i hate it. but anyways i think its alot of guilt in the sense that they shouldn't like me but they do. and then enlightenment. thanks doggie. i don't like myself so i don't get why others do.

boom

At first I was like ego. But then I see you had good insight in your conclusion. Dope. Lots of ways to go from here. Question: do you dislike yourself less the same or more now than then?

I need to know this before more discussion, Jim.

[dull boy]

Imagine taking emotional counsel from online troll therapist.

[Big Bolo]

Imagine coming up with a great idea, acting on that idea then watching it fall to crumbles round 1....can we all say Rebuttal Tourney???

[Sharp]

Imagine coming up with a swag and flow verse so mediocre that have you bite good enough lines to pad it out, then sucking so hard at cheating that you're caught immediately.

[Big Bolo]

Imagine trying to start a music career again again again then never going anywhere you stop and then 6 years later you think mmmhh maybe now is good....

[Sharp]

No dude you're missing the joke

My post was something that you did

[Big Bolo]

Right cause that was a different Sharp that made this thread....http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=134794

[John Dillinger]

Imagine coming up with a swag and flow verse so mediocre that have you bite good enough lines to pad it out, then sucking so hard at cheating that you're caught immediately.

[Big Bolo]

Imagine getting your gym shorts, tube socks and flip flops on driving to your local mall and waiting in the Macy's parking lot, smoking a pack of Newport 100s waiting for hours for a response from an online personality that has lead you to believe he's in your city....

[uh-oh]

At first I was like ego. But then I see you had good insight in your conclusion. Dope. Lots of ways to go from here. Question: do you dislike yourself less the same or more now than then?

I need to know this before more discussion, Jim.

same amount

its not a thorough dislike. i understand why people would like me. im gorgeous, charismatic, and remarkably intelligent. i just don't like anyone. myself included. i try to lead a life where no one expects anything of me ever. the problem is that people enjoy my personage, which in turn leads to expectations of wanting to enjoy the company of said personage. which in turn leads to guilt when i ghost them.

but all of that was besides the point of the thread.

[John Dillinger]

Lol who is smoking newports?

And u really think I went to a Macy’s parking lot to meet you?

I think I said Nordstrom’s anyways smh

[Sharp]

Where about that do I talk about the music career? Gigs are just side money dude. I still like making it, like my thread said, cause ART

Imagine being so bad with personals or reading comprehension that you need to overcompensate for it with your custom ms paint avy

[Big Bolo]

So you are admitting to liking to create music and doing for years but never fully made a real career out of it, ok no that's not what I said : /

[Big Bolo]

Lol who is smoking newports?

And u really think I went to a Macy’s parking lot to meet you?

I think I said Nordstrom’s anyways smh

Anyone wearing gym shorts flops and tube socks to go to the mall....definitely smokes Newports....

[John Dillinger]

I didn’t go to any mall jackass

[Big Bolo]

Whatever helps you sleep at night fag

[John Dillinger]

Pretty sure beating up someone w/ down syndrome is a hate crime or something too

[Big Bolo]

Oh man your jokes get better in each post...man that one in the gimmick tourney chat when you were all like TLDR man fucking had me dying laughing.... : /

[veritas]

Imagine taking emotional counsel from online troll therapist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1Qu3dZlRGE

[veritas]

same amount

its not a thorough dislike. i understand why people would like me. im gorgeous, charismatic, and remarkably intelligent. i just don't like anyone. myself included. i try to lead a life where no one expects anything of me ever. the problem is that people enjoy my personage, which in turn leads to expectations of wanting to enjoy the company of said personage. which in turn leads to guilt when i ghost them.

but all of that was besides the point of the thread.

What is the point of this thread? Because I feel like you might be contradicting yourself or using this as a clever ruse to ego. Unless I have mistaken?

[Sharp]

You said trying to start a music career. Don't want anything more than some gigs lolllll. I was raised better than that

I know you struggle with original angles but am I that hard a target bro?

[veritas]

Sharp you gain nothing from engaging with him sir.

[dull boy]

Imagine coming up with a great idea, acting on that idea then watching it fall to crumbles round 1....can we all say Rebuttal Tourney???

That supposed to be insulting?

I’m perplexed.

[dull boy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1Qu3dZlRGE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO5wryDdEI0

[WRATH]

same amount

its not a thorough dislike. i understand why people would like me. im gorgeous, charismatic, and remarkably intelligent. i just don't like anyone. myself included. i try to lead a life where no one expects anything of me ever. the problem is that people enjoy my personage, which in turn leads to expectations of wanting to enjoy the company of said personage. which in turn leads to guilt when i ghost them.

but all of that was besides the point of the thread.

#mood

People are fake. I feel that after a certain level of desensitization you are cancerous to the innocent so I feel guilty hanging out with people that are actually of pure heart. I've been working on it but idk I'll take some therapy too while you're at it V

[veritas]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO5wryDdEI0

I am more flattered than anything by the headspace you give to me. Not healthy, but what do I know yes? How was your thanksgiving? Any exes you drunk-dial?

[veritas]

#mood

People are fake. I feel that after a certain level of desensitization you are cancerous to the innocent so I feel guilty hanging out with people that are actually of pure heart. I've been working on it but idk I'll take some therapy too while you're at it V

Define pure heart?

[WRATH]

The ones who still see the good in people.

[dull boy]

I am more flattered than anything by the headspace you give to me. Not healthy, but what do I know yes? How was your thanksgiving? Any exes you drunk-dial?

Presumptuous. Judgmental. Manipulative.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRt7Sal6Rzg

[dull boy]

Presumptuous. Judgmental. Manipulative.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRt7Sal6Rzg

SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT THANKSGIVING, DB!


HAHA!

[veritas]

Nah just facts. You wanted to hang out so you immaturely tried to get my attention in a thread that was made to me. All good, bro. Don’t drink when you are already sad, but happy. Fair?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fbe6kb_y-lY

[veritas]

The ones who still see the good in people.

How long have you been a narcissist would you say?

[WRATH]

Years. I see it as being a realist but it becomes a hindrance.

[veritas]

Years. I see it as being a realist but it becomes a hindrance.

If you could convert the self centerdness into empathy maybe that would work better for you in terms of relating to people?

[WRATH]

I do, it's literally the only reason I maintain any form of relationship with people.

My problem is I'm too stand offish with people I don't know. I foresee their future as being a failure to me at some point. Hmmm. Guess that is pretty self centered.

[WRATH]

Any recommendations on self centeredness?

[veritas]

Any recommendations on self centeredness?

Yes. Really take an interest in people objectively. Just really try to get to know them in the moment. Don’t make it about you, sir. Trust me this is a fascinating thing to do and really makes people worth knowing.

Make a game out of it if you have to.

[Immolate]

im still the same piece of shit i just don't put myself in position to be a piece of shit anymore.


i realized this recently. prolly while doing hard time IN THE BING.

na but for real idk man. there was this kid i punched in the chest, he was a nice kid, i liked him. i was just so mad that day about w/e. anyway he comes the next day and is like 'hey immo wow man look at the mark you left' and lifts his shirt and it's just fuckin a big ass purple mark

man i wish i could find that kid and apologize. sure u can forgive yrself, if u can..but maybe its as much having the person you wronged forgive you

[dull boy]

i realized this recently. prolly while doing hard time IN THE BING.

na but for real idk man. there was this kid i punched in the chest, he was a nice kid, i liked him. i was just so mad that day about w/e. anyway he comes the next day and is like 'hey immo wow man look at the mark you left' and lifts his shirt and it's just fuckin a big ass purple mark

man i wish i could find that kid and apologize. sure u can forgive yrself, if u can..but maybe its as much having the person you wronged forgive you

lol

[veritas]

i realized this recently. prolly while doing hard time IN THE BING.

na but for real idk man. there was this kid i punched in the chest, he was a nice kid, i liked him. i was just so mad that day about w/e. anyway he comes the next day and is like 'hey immo wow man look at the mark you left' and lifts his shirt and it's just fuckin a big ass purple mark

man i wish i could find that kid and apologize. sure u can forgive yrself, if u can..but maybe its as much having the person you wronged forgive you

That last sentence is fair but can also be a trap. We cannot control if a person forgives us. We should however forgive those who wronged us whether they apologize or not, for our sake.

Good post. That kid you hit...do you consider him a weak person?

[Inno]

I simply don’t value people’s opinions of myself or honestly of themselves as much as society thinks I should.

Why is every so emo?

[veritas]

I simply don’t value people’s opinions of myself or honestly of themselves as much as society thinks I should.

Why is every so emo?

Hmmmmmm.....

[Amen]

I simply don’t value people’s opinions of myself or honestly of themselves as much as society thinks I should.

Why is every so emo?

Society full of betas.

[Victor.]

I only care what ppl on online forums think

So I spend hours a week debating them


So they Think me wise


But out in the real world ?
Oh fuck them



Cuz I iZ teh alfa

[bleak]

I like to think of myself as a Delta

[veritas]

I only care what ppl on online forums think

So I spend hours a week debating them


So they Think me wise


But out in the real world ?
Oh fuck them



Cuz I iZ teh alfa


Hachi machi.

[Immolate]

lol

you boughta get punched in the chess boi and ya know im bout it ;)

[Immolate]

That last sentence is fair but can also be a trap. We cannot control if a person forgives us. We should however forgive those who wronged us whether they apologize or not, for our sake.

Good post. That kid you hit...do you consider him a weak person?

yes

[Immolate]

why

[Immolate]

WHY

[Immolate]

why
why
why

whats the point of making art for real freal. like. it's exhausting.

id rather live in a beach house and take 10 years making the perfect simplest guitar album
why not

everyone out here, my man mac, all my boys on tour, they all dying you know they go so hard an tey die.

imma just.

[Ghost1]

you boughta get punched in the chess boi and ya know im bout it ;)

https://imgflip.com/memegenerator

[Victor.]

Hachi machi.

Your such a critic

Lol wink wink

[Immolate]

https://imgflip.com/memegenerator

aww yugit