Amazon Anonymous Meeting

[Chill Phil]

Hi, my name is Phil. And I'm an Amazonoholic.


Didn't actually find out about doing Amazon until I met some basic bitch named Megan at a house party. Figured I couldn't develop a problem if I didn't have my own account, right? So, I watched her browse. Shit was intense the first time...watching her go from best friend puzzle piece necklaces, to shawls and cook books. She'd been a long time Amazon user...she had discount codes.

Anyway, I started losing control when I created my own account. Found myself doing Amazon at home by myself. Started abusing it...saying merchandise came in broken, when it was actually me that broke it. Replaced it for free. No repercussions. Then Christmas rolled around...fucking Christmas. I'm not trying to make this an excuse or to justify why I use but...

Christmas is a tough time for me... with secret Santa going on at work, and the fact that I needed to get some snow boots, bomber hats, and new winter gear. I find myself nestled in the arms of the Amazon. Got to the point where it didn't even feel good anymore. Like you know when they say "it's nothing personal, it's just business." Thinking I finally got everything I needed is what sent me right back to doing Amazon. To get the shit I WANTED.

Waking up at 1 am, sneaking down to the basement to buy my girl a legit electronic foot massager. Literally salivating on pay days, because I can finally get some goggles and water wings for the kiddo! Yo...YOU EVER SUCK DICK FOR OVERNIGHT SHIPPING?!

[veritas]

And they say you are not a thread maker? I don’t get it?

[Ghost1]

Forgot it was Cyber Monday

Negged for triggering my addiction and costing me atleast 100bucks

[uh-oh]

its a curse.

i told myself last week im done spending money for awhile. finally gonna stack some and chill.

but now i'm typing this on a 4k monitor that i didn't need. but i also copped work boots and a new phone charger as well for like 240 altogether.

amazon da god

honestly im just happy i don't live in seattle because i would never go to the store again. or whereever they are at where you can buy groceries etc and have it all delivered

but word i buy any and everything. just scrolling my recent purchases

27'' 4k monitor
timberland waterproof hiking boots
genuine lg quick wall charger
4 pack acoustic guitar strings, martin light
fire hd 8 tablet
gift card
electric toothbrush
nailclipper set
battery replacement for note 4
akai fire
usb cable
gls audio speaker cable
all purpose scrub brush set
spray nine heavy duty degreaser/cleaner
5pack white tees
10 sets of earbuds


thats page 1 of my past orders lol

[uh-oh]

had to resize this so its blurry but lmfao what was the person that boxed this up for me thinking

https://i.ibb.co/56kcfgh/wrg.jpg

needed the safety goggle/glasses for work, they thought i needed them when i DO WORK THO

[anime_boners]

Ur addicted to amazonohol?

[Ghost1]

word tvs r stupid cheap these days apparently? not even today just in general....went w this bitch last nite to walmart to pick out a tv an she got a fucking 55in 4k smart tv for like 200 bucks lol wtf bout to buy a dozen tvs

[Ghost1]

Ur addicted to amazonohol?

jesus

[sral]

ROFLZZZZ @ uh-ohs flesh light maintenance

amazing

[Victor.]

Wait


Uh oh is fucking a hand held device ?

[veritas]

Ded.

[uh-oh]

Lmao multiple devices. Fleshlights are king tho.

I cant wack off like a normal human anymore these shits spoiled me.

If it aint a living female, im putting on the vr goggles and fucking a device, hands down. Lmao

[For Battling]

Lmaoooo

[anime_boners]

Lmao multiple devices. Fleshlights are king tho.

I cant wack off like a normal human anymore these shits spoiled me.

If it aint a living female, im putting on the vr goggles and fucking a device, hands down. Lmao

god we really are living a dystopian timeline

[boof]

amazon has the richest owner in the history of the world yet and still a lot of its employees are paid/treated like shit

[anime_boners]

amazon has the richest owner in the history of the world yet and still a lot of its employees are paid/treated like shit
this guy gets it.

but also remember there's no such thing as ethical consumption under capitalism, so don't afraid to treat yoself

[Chill Phil]

Lmao multiple devices. Fleshlights are king tho.

I cant wack off like a normal human anymore these shits spoiled me.

If it aint a living female, im putting on the vr goggles and fucking a device, hands down. Lmao

Lmaoooo

[Ghost1]

didn't even catch the safety goggles felshlight an maintnence kit...Christ lol

so I bought a waterproof wifi speaker for the shower and a paperwhite kindle reader or whatever yesterday

seem like fair purchases....music soothes the soul and books I mean self explanatory.... I mean its not a pocket pussy but I feel good about it

an amazon raised min wage to 15 bucks before our govt did so that's something to consider

[veritas]

god we really are living a dystopian timeline

You have not seen anything yet.

[sral]

had to resize this so its blurry but lmfao what was the person that boxed this up for me thinking

https://i.ibb.co/56kcfgh/wrg.jpg

needed the safety goggle/glasses for work, they thought i needed them when i DO WORK THO

lmao what does the renewing powder do?

can’t you just wash that shit out with soap and water?

also how do you dry it, do you have to put it on the washing up rack next to your empty ramen noodle bowls and forks once it’s been cleansed of your filth or what?

[Inno]

I bet uh ohs got a full fledged sex doll in his cart right now

[veritas]

Jim,

How does it work, can you have a doll with the flesh light installed? And do the boobs feel real?

[uh-oh]

alright a myriad of inquiries i shall address

1. no sex dolls. i wouldn't even want the torso's, or the strange like just an ass with no legs or anything lol. seems to weird to me. actually fucking something just seems out there, i just basically wack off with the thing know what i mean, i don't strategically place and actually fuck it like some sorta waterhead.

2. it works fairly simply. you apply some water based lube, aka lube. not lotion. lotion would work, but its chemicals eat at the strange rubber that its made out of so it starts degrading. but word lube it up. put dick in it. voila. there is a screw cap on the actual plastic too, that you can tighten/loosen, which affects the suction effect, screw it tighter and it gets tighter, looser/looser.

3. cleaning and maintenance. you pull the sleeve out, its got a hole on both ends so you just rinse it out, the cleaner shit is just antibacterial stuff, you can use dish soap no need for that as well. but word the sleeve is super pliable. its weirdly soft and stretchy, but strong. like its almost like those hand slap things you got as a kid from the quarter machines that you can whip around and they slap on the wall, but its not sticky. but word. just rinse out your jizz/lube soap it out real quick rinse, and to dry it i just pat it dry with a hand towel and push the hand towel through the length of it.

4. the renewal powder just keeps it soft to the touch. its not needed though. it might keep it nicer for longer though, but i mean once you lube it up again its the same whether you got it or not, it just feels more like a rubbery thing without the powder. its hard to explain.

the only other things i've tried was the autoblow, which was a huge disappointment. i don't got an enormous dick or anything, but it wasn't strong enough to do the job. i thought it would be DOPE. hands free, a machine wacks me off while im in the porn world of VR. but the sleeve it came with was too thick in conjunction with my dick so it ran slow, like you could hear it straining, but they sold other sleeves, so i tried a thinner one, which worked, like i could get it CRANKING, but the problem then was it was too loose, so i couldn't bust. it was basically just enough to keep me in the game. so it was a waste. also the sleeves were more like rubber compared to the fleshlight which is just strange. its not like SKIN. but its not like RUBBER. its some weird inbetween matieral that feels magnificent

i've busted ridiculous nuts doggie

the more you know

[veritas]

Better than real or what?

[John Dillinger]

Wait


Uh oh is fucking a hand held device ?

[John Dillinger]

I like how you’re against using lotion w/ it because of the ‘chemicals’ but will happily clean that shit with dish soap

[uh-oh]

i wouldn't say better, but different

banging a human is obviously better, but its the whole experience involved that makes that better, its a person, with thighs and ass and tits that fucks back.

the actual FEELING tho, of solely what the dick nerves themselves are experiencing????

rivals it. its not like pussy though. feel wise or anything, its just a rubber suction-y tube that milks your dick. but its a device created for it.

i've always been top tier perv though, i indulge in hours long wackoff sessions, edging basically until im bored and disgusted with myself for wasting 3 hours and 67475 tabs of porn later i blast off. which its great for. work at your own pace no worrying about pleasing anyone else type deal. its like what i get out of escorts with even less shame.

like a regular girl you gotta worry about pleasing and treating like a human, an escort less so, you don't gotta worry about pleasing them, and you know upfront whats off limits without any weird interactions/rejections/embarrassment

so in summary, i would take sex with a human beings pussy hole all day over it, for the full experience. but a fleshlight feels fucking great. just nothing like a human pussy/butthole/mouth. just a magical hole of whimsy out to make cumsies

[Big Bolo]

So basically you've watched sex doll porn before...

[Finnydot]

This thread is legendary. I'm riding the bus right now and uh oh got me leaning... Lmfao

I read the whole 3 hour 9673 tabs thing and choked on my coffee. Lolol

That's some of the realest shit you'll ever find on he internet. But sooooo true.

Uh oh, fuck the streaming shit tho. Just torrent all the new releases you want in VR. Http://torrentz2.eu

I get the full length films so i can avoid the whole 3 hour thing and just watch the scenes with the bitches i like.

I've got at least 100gb right now.




Side note: was watching "The Kominski Method" last night on Netflix. It's excellent, 8 half hour episodes, i finished the first season last night.

Anyways, Michael Douglas is trying to rub one out before bed so he's looking on his tablet and it's like "step daddy porn, brother sister porn, school teacher porn.... Whatever happened to just fucking the pizza delivery guy?"


LMFAO i was dyiiiiiing