Sinacog vs Objective - OBJECTIVE WINS

[bleak]

SOL Season 1
Wk 1

Due Thursday, Jan 24th

Minimum - 10 lines
Max - 16 lines
Line limit can increase if both agree
24hr ext to be granted by opponent

NO biting
NO swaying
NO feeding
You MUST check in
Don't edit after your opponent has posted
2nd person to post can't edit after the first vote comes in
Don't be an idiot
Don't use your opponent's pic unless it's a pic battle
Agree on a line limit
May God have mercy on your souls
Sinacog Objective

[Objective]

In.

[Sinacog]

I'm a christian preacher, my sermon has voice - I'm sending you to hell with flames as a germ for the void
Let's play hide and seek with the pistol, my bursting has noise - If 'Objective A Bomb' we're playing Search and Destroy
With the pistol, I'm blasting bars - I'm Sinacog, while you're 'acog in the wheel' with the fastest cars
I'll sun you, and you wouldn't be a gaseous star - and I'll 'choke the blue out of this man' to make him look like his avatar
When I blast the pistol, the slug will hit him - I'll show you what I have in store when I 'rob you on the streets' - it's none of your fucking business
This is a Big Pun all over again, I'll hit you with a drunken guinness! - I'll grab the pistol and ''give you two caps' that's a double fitted
If you grab the pistol, I'll snitch on you capisce' - when I grab the pistol, this bitch will be deceased
Forget your birth, you're a glitch or a disease - when it comes to Objective, and he 'digs for personal' he's like a bitch of the police
When I grab the pistols, it's like a college graduation - I'll leave you with caps, please! You could 'roll cocaine in weed leafs' you still wouldn't be a rap fiend!
Try to steal the show, and I'll snap thief - he's a topical head - so when he's venting, I'll 'air him out' till' he can't breathe
I'm a knight, and I'll slay this brook - you couldn't 'see the light' with David Cook
the Bible is my favorite book - but I'll grab the pistol, and 'POP you in the Hood' like fathers in poor neighborhoods
I'll grab the pistol, and I'm out for blood to dump this thief in the crypt - you're a wack rapper - believe you are him
When I rap, I'm deceiving this kid - we don't care about your lines, we're like Ludacris - saying 'Move bitch get out the way' like cheating spouses leaving the crib
My topicals are a rapping anthem, you're a peasant - while I'm Mickey Mouse casting magic
When you write, your raps are tragic - this scared pussy's going to no-show, you'll 'see this kid going ghost' faster than Danny Phantom

https://assets.change.org/photos/0/fh/br/kSFhbrdGbGoTBsp-800x450-noPad.jpg?1519174003

[Objective]

You're the average Hentai eccentric that's too easy to battle with,
ideas so bad vets couldn't climax your verses even if ten tackles it.
I hate illiterate jews rocking pedobear costumes at Comic-Con,
so put a face to your name and tell me where you draw logic from.
It's a horror show to say the least, on Netcees you stay deceased,
no rape victim either; this faggot used his allowance to pay the priest.
You manifested the wack-kin, it runs in your blood to part doubt,
don't listen to advice if someone tells you to write your heart out.
Couldn't text worse with deaf/blind downs kids for the write up,
you call the cops for shit you didn't do just to get a good line up.
Can't hide that cheap 90s vibe, you got nothing to sell here,
no one buys the style from The Fresh Prince of Welfare.

[DMS]

This may sound stupid, but sinacog’s verse was almost self defeating.
It was both lame of fuck but and constantly talking about pistols, it both claimed he’d cause a NS yet gave him a free dub,

Objective summed up sinacog’s verse without feeding.

V/ Obj.

[bleak]

Sin you know how to write, it's just a matter of accumulating your skills into punches. You always wanna expand on the concept. Kid going ghost is a good example, you could have flipped this a number of ways but used the most simple way to do it possible. That was a good base to build on, you know what ur doing. It doesn't happen overnight it's a slow morph. Keep writing.

Objective I honestly like reading topical guys' battle verses, they have a story like feel most of the time that u don't often get to see here. U obv are no rookie and know what it takes to put a verse together, good stuff stay signed in

Obj

[Sharp]

First, good shit on dropping so early. I'm probably gonna come off as overly critical here but I get nitpicky for the culture.

Okay, from a rules perspective, Sinacog is entitled to go up to 16 since he dropped first, and Objective, dropping 10, is willfully acknowledging that those extra lines can count against him.


I'm a christian preacher, my sermon has voice - I'm sending you to hell with flames as a germ for the void
Let's play hide and seek with the pistol, my bursting has noise - If 'Objective A Bomb' we're playing Search and Destroy
I like that this is a name flip that works both ways. I don't think it was the most effectively worded and imo took forever to get there. The entire setup has no connection to the punch - this is like telling a joke where the setup is basically the start of a different joke. The wording is more focused on the rhyming here and leads to some nonsense that just takes away from the full two line bar.
With the pistol, I'm blasting bars - I'm Sinacog, while you're 'acog in the wheel' with the fastest cars
I'll sun you, and you wouldn't be a gaseous star - and I'll 'choke the blue out of this man' to make him look like his avatar
this is kind of weirdly worded all over - the setup is trying to be its own punches but it doesn't hit and 'choke the blue out of this man' (unless I'm out on the loop) isn't really a phrase. Plus, avatar flips are rarely that hot, and if they are, it's in the delivery. This just went for a simile, which is already all over the place in a battle verse
When I blast the pistol, the slug will hit him - I'll show you what I have in store when I 'rob you on the streets' - it's none of your fucking business
This is a Big Pun all over again, I'll hit you with a drunken guinness! - I'll grab the pistol and ''give you two caps' that's a double fitted
I actually like the punch but it took forever to get there. I like that the setup is related, but I could do without the extra rhymes for the sake of rhyming like 'drunken Guinness'. It just makes the whole bar clunky imo
If you grab the pistol, I'll snitch on you capisce' - when I grab the pistol, this bitch will be deceased
Forget your birth, you're a glitch or a disease - when it comes to Objective, and he 'digs for personal' he's like a bitch of the police
When I grab the pistols, it's like a college graduation - I'll leave you with caps, please! You could 'roll cocaine in weed leafs' you still wouldn't be a rap fiend!
there's so much going on here thag I could see working for a live battle rap if not for the awkward phrases. Honestly, I would've preferred seeing any one of these developed. You have like 3 jabs here but the graduation cap concept could be given some shine and turn into the best punch of your verse
Try to steal the show, and I'll snap thief - he's a topical head - so when he's venting, I'll 'air him out' till' he can't breathe
probably your best wording on a concept that isn't great, but I feel like we getting somewhere
I'm a knight, and I'll slay this brook - you couldn't 'see the light' with David Cook
the Bible is my favorite book - but I'll grab the pistol, and 'POP you in the Hood' like fathers in poor neighborhoods
Rook, and again, the way you're cramming little jabs in makes this more cluttered and less effective.
I'll grab the pistol, and I'm out for blood to dump this thief in the crypt - you're a wack rapper - believe you are him
When I rap, I'm deceiving this kid - we don't care about your lines, we're like Ludacris - saying 'Move bitch get out the way' like cheating spouses leaving the crib
Everything about this is clunky. Setup is addressing him in like two ways and the punch is your attempt at a wordplay crammed between two smilies?
My topicals are a rapping anthem, you're a peasant - while I'm Mickey Mouse casting magic
When you write, your raps are tragic - this scared pussy's going to no-show, you'll 'see this kid going ghost' faster than Danny Phantom
Going ghost/Danny phantom is nice. Def didn't need the pic. But it's a bunch of rhymes and the main punch is so drawn out (from this scared..... To the end) that it's ineffective wording within an ineffectively constructed bar

There were punches that could win this battle in here hidden and muddled badly.


You're the average Hentai eccentric that's too easy to battle with,
ideas so bad vets couldn't climax your verses even if ten tackles it.
This I awkwardly worded and the flip itself 'ten tackles/tentacles' is weird in my accent, plus it doesn't really make sense as 'ten tackles' itself
I hate illiterate jews rocking pedobear costumes at Comic-Con,
so put a face to your name and tell me where you draw logic from.
I do not understand this at all
It's a horror show to say the least, on Netcees you stay deceased,
no rape victim either; this faggot used his allowance to pay the priest.
This is a goofy idea but the punch itself isn't really based on anything and comes out statementy
You manifested the wack-kin, it runs in your blood to part doubt,
don't listen to advice if someone tells you to write your heart out.
Funny idea but the wording could be way harder. And again, it could be less statement-y
Couldn't text worse with deaf/blind downs kids for the write up,
you call the cops for shit you didn't do just to get a good line up.
I like this idea. I feel like it could be worded meaner, but it hits.
Can't hide that cheap 90s vibe, you got nothing to sell here,
no one buys the style from The Fresh Prince of Welfare.
This is the kind of idea that would kill it in a roast but is kind of underwhelming for a whole bar. You have two lines to make a whole punch, and I could see this in the setup of a much harder bar


Tbh, I thought Sinacog might win after seeing his verse, but objective takes it, imo, on this lineup line. It was done well enough to stand out. Sinacog could've won, imo, if some of his concepts - I'm thinking specifically the graduation cap and Danny Phantom - were actually given some love instead of being thrown into the mix for 2 seconds then moved on. Sinacog, let the concepts come first, word them well, then rhyme so much last. Objective, conceptually, try to think more like a pun or a joke - set up the double meaning thing to surprise the reader a bit more - as opposed to a discussion style diss/roast. Both of you feel free to hmu whenever for any tips/advice on your next verses or whatever.

V/objective

[DynamiCz]

I'm a christian preacher, my sermon has voice - I'm sending you to hell with flames as a germ for the void
Let's play hide and seek with the pistol, my bursting has noise - If 'Objective A Bomb' we're playing Search and Destroy

This was a fiya opener imo here! Good shit

With the pistol, I'm blasting bars - I'm Sinacog, while you're 'acog in the wheel' with the fastest cars
I'll sun you, and you wouldn't be a gaseous star - and I'll 'choke the blue out of this man' to make him look like his avatar

Ehhh, Wording is so good here but the execution lacks/Avatar lines kinda played to me

When I blast the pistol, the slug will hit him - I'll show you what I have in store when I 'rob you on the streets' - it's none of your fucking business
This is a Big Pun all over again, I'll hit you with a drunken guinness! - I'll grab the pistol and ''give you two caps' that's a double fitted

This was nice actually, bro your rhyme pattern is golden

If you grab the pistol, I'll snitch on you capisce' - when I grab the pistol, this bitch will be deceased
Forget your birth, you're a glitch or a disease - when it comes to Objective, and he 'digs for personal' he's like a bitch of the police

This was ok here. Could have been better on the execution. "Bitch of the police" kinda corny

When I grab the pistols, it's like a college graduation - I'll leave you with caps, please! You could 'roll cocaine in weed leafs' you still wouldn't be a rap fiend!
Try to steal the show, and I'll snap thief - he's a topical head - so when he's venting, I'll 'air him out' till' he can't breathe

Nice

I'm a knight, and I'll slay this brook - you couldn't 'see the light' with David Cook
the Bible is my favorite book - but I'll grab the pistol, and 'POP you in the Hood' like fathers in poor neighborhoods

Haha creative here! Not a heavy hit, but this was a coo jab

I'll grab the pistol, and I'm out for blood to dump this thief in the crypt - you're a wack rapper - believe you are him
When I rap, I'm deceiving this kid - we don't care about your lines, we're like Ludacris

This was ehhh, not really feeling this here

saying 'Move bitch get out the way' like cheating spouses leaving the crib
My topicals are a rapping anthem, you're a peasant - while I'm Mickey Mouse casting magic
When you write, your raps are tragic - this scared pussy's going to no-show, you'll 'see this kid going ghost' faster than Danny Phantom

Danny Phantom lines are played as well to me! Cant score you for the hit here on the finisher!

-------------

You're the average Hentai eccentric that's too easy to battle with,
ideas so bad vets couldn't climax your verses even if ten tackles it.

Nahhh bro, couldn't get with this here. Wordplay kinda off i believe

I hate illiterate jews rocking pedobear costumes at Comic-Con,
so put a face to your name and tell me where you draw logic from.

This was ok, light jab at most

It's a horror show to say the least, on Netcees you stay deceased,
no rape victim either; this faggot used his allowance to pay the priest.

Lmao, funny as fuck here

You manifested the wack-kin, it runs in your blood to part doubt,
don't listen to advice if someone tells you to write your heart out.

Nice here, wording was golden on this to me

Couldn't text worse with deaf/blind downs kids for the write up,
you call the cops for shit you didn't do just to get a good line up.

Light wording, but ok line here

Can't hide that cheap 90s vibe, you got nothing to sell here,
no one buys the style from The Fresh Prince of Welfare.

Lmao funny closer!


------

This was a ok battle here, Sin had some cool lines but, i love gun bars seriously, but don't always entitle ya lines to "Grab the pistol". Sharpen up your concepts alittle bit too. Your wording is water though no lie. Fresh ass flow! Your bars alittle stretched also just need to tone them down a bit. Objective your style alittle bit more simple but effective. Need more aggression and direct angles at your opponent. Overall you both still need work but this a coo battle. I got Obj here just with better concepts and consistency. Plus he had bars that had me dying laughing also.


V-Obj

[Flow]

Vote objective.

Not alot in it in terms of punches etc but sinacog just felt like he'd write 4 lines of filler an then a punch would come out of no where. Needs to be more precise an to the point for me.

Keep it up both