Chemical paradise

[UnbornBuddha]

Fragmented soul painting God's spirit
From memory turned self-image.
Gazing into the distance,
Glimpsing an ethereal figure
Frozen in time's crystalized river.
These angel-eyed sinner's eyes grow bigger
Seeing the promise of eternity being delivered.
I loathe flowery language for the sake of being mystical.
The metaphoric mirror breaks when I go berserk, lyrical.
Dropping the apocalypse like something mythical.
The Shakesperan tragedy of miracles.
Creation has become a grandiose ritual
Done in the guise of something spiritual.
Lying empty-minded in a dandelion field, blissful.
Awaiting nature's revelation, the divine principle.
The pinnacle where everything changes, spring's equivocal.
A mortal collaging a divine visual,
Finishing the finishing touches.
The angels blushing, as I nudge them
To come hither & play in the suchness.
Plucking their wings to use as brushes.
All of a sudden, it all becomes perfect.
Every stroke carrying a singular purpose.
Executing everything ever flawless. Then,
The featherlike softness of my steps entered my conscious
Making me aware, I'll forever be upset, hence,
Why I'm disheveled and offset.
All thanks to my devilish neocortex. Yet,
I'll rather be honest than exist with an existential complex
That will only end when I find my goodness in a coffin.
Say my goodbye, as having to remember her often
Is a chemical toxin. Don't tempt me with logic,
I don't believe in eternal concepts. Paradise is to be forgotten.

[Vulgar]

The rhyme scheme at the beginning was close to the chest, steady pacing, like Immortal Technique's pace.

"Creation has become a grandiose ritual
Done in the guise of something spiritual."

Interesting and solidly crafted bar.

"Say my goodbye, as having to remember her often
Is a chemical toxin. Don't tempt me with logic,
I don't believe in eternal concepts. Paradise is to be forgotten."

A refusal to fall for established religious credo. Deconstructing the images of innocence and purity. I noticed you use some common phrases like 'frozen in time' and 'gazing into the distance'. You have a good focus when bringing the structure of things together, and only choose to veer from the path when either you have to rhyme certain words and it limits you, or you just decide to pursue a different angle (like most verses usually).

Say my goodbye, as having to remember her often
Is a chemical toxin. Don't tempt me with logic,
I don't believe in eternal concepts. Paradise is to be forgotten.

^This part was the most important of the piece for me aside from the beginning commentary. This 'she' entity could be many identities, maybe a personal one to you.

Thanks for sharing.

[Exis]

Gazing into the distance,
Glimpsing an ethereal figure
Frozen in time's crystalized river.
These angel-eyed sinner's eyes grow bigger
Seeing the promise of eternity being delivered.
I loathe flowery language for the sake of being mystical.
The metaphoric mirror breaks when I go berserk, lyrical.
Dropping the apocalypse like something mythical.
The Shakesperan tragedy of miracles.
Creation has become a grandiose ritual
Done in the guise of something spiritual.

That's just, yeah...fuckin' awesome imagery man.

I'll def read more of your joints, maybe not post 200 on the first page next time though lol...

Stay upwards fam.

[Debut MC]

This reminds of some early wu-tang shit. Like a slow cadence type flow to a gritty work. I dig the grit.

The metaphoric mirror breaks when I go berserk, lyrical.
Dropping the apocalypse like something mythical.
The Shakesperan tragedy of miracles.
Creation has become a grandiose ritual
Done in the guise of something spiritual.
Lying empty-minded in a dandelion field, blissful.
Awaiting nature's revelation, the divine principle.

Overall solid stuff. Keep it moving.