Quarter Finals: Witty vs. Lucipher Howlz [WITTY ADVANCES]

[Adonis]

https://i.ibb.co/s5Gdt2L/Untitled-1.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/TJEUnyU.png





SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
TUESDAY JULY 30th at 11:59P.M. Pacific/West Coast or WEDNESDAY 2:59 AM Eastern / 7:59 AM WEDNESDAY Central European/London
MAXIMUM 2 extensions granted upon request in this tournament

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due THURSDAY August 1st at 11:59 p.m. Western Pacific / or FRIDAY 2:59 PM Eastern / 7:59 AM FRIDAY Central European/London Failure to vote will result in negative votes the following round if you win....See rules thread for explanation

All competitors must vote on ALL OTHER battles

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=140450)



Topic: https://i.imgur.com/F46eeky.jpg

Must "Check-in" by WEDNESDAY July 28th


Witty
Lucipher Howlz


G/Luck

[Witty]

Manic Depression: Colorized

I see trees of green, red roses too...

Flowers blooming, babies born, the sun splitting the sky
I was just an innocent guy with a glint in his eye
Nature was my stimulant..I'd sit with it and get high
The vividness that flowed in my veins had broken the chains
I saw...Vesuvius roasting in flames, Lions roaming the plains
I'd fly places, or climb dangerous hills and see migrations of wildebeest
My brain a divine place, vivacious with inner peace
A mix of divine grace and some synergy...
I took it all to heart...no cliques and no factions...the hate's stupid
We are not apart...just different adaptions of the same blueprint
If I called you my brother you might taunt me as strange
But if you saw what I saw you would call me the same
I was flying with eagles, and hunting with sharks
And then, out of nowhere...all at once...
...it was dark.

Now...even on the brightest day the sky is grey
my mind's a maze, I cry and pray
To find a ray inside this haze
But...my fight is vague, I've lost the bout
I took my hope and tossed it out
Shook the boat and made it sink
Took the rose and made it stink
I'm backing down, I should have known
I'd lose the throne and crack the crown
There's no connection...hopeless, wretched
Floating in the ocean of a souls reflection
I call for help...there's no reception
All that's left is cold depression
I feel...lazy...I'm...defenseless...small
It may be time to end it all
My life is dull, it serves no purpose
It's just a dreary burden, worthless
I run a bath...I watch it fill
And I remember...how once I promised not to kill
Yet unafraid, I climb right in
And shove the blade inside my skin
And as the vibrant crimson pours
I feel delight within once more
The colour grants me sweet release
As I float away in gleeful peace

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

[Adonis]

Lucipher Howlz

I'd like you to know that I hate you very much sir

[Adonis]

Witty advances. Mr. J care to key something for fun votes? If not, I will later today. Feel free to feed

[NYCSPITZ]

I feel like it started nice as fuck then you got lazy. Maybe tired or bored. Ran out of time? Up until..."it was dark" I was orgasming in a pool of lyrically adept metaphors, imagery and flow. Afterward it just feel like usain bolt on pcp. Eyes all red and incoherent. He got his form down due to muscle memory but he's running like a wild animal...

I think with what I've seen from peak witty we can expect loads better in the semis but nice lil key there buddy


The other verse was alright it just seemed almost... non existent ...

MVGT/ witty

[sral]

Witty: No-show aside, it’s good to see you back writing regularly again. I’ve noticed in both rounds so far you’ve gone for a far more emotionally-centered verse over developing a character within a story context, which is interesting to me. When I first looked at the image here, my first thoughts were along the lines of open mindedness and a creative mind - plentiful in its thoughts and figured it would appeal more to the writer within you. By placing it firmly in the realm of depression and anxiety, I think you gave it a really current feel, especially as there are a lot of campaigns right now in and around those direct issues. I’m sure many can relate, in some form, giving it a more universal appeal even if wrote from a singular perspective. The writing is crisp, the rhyming is very well honed and refined and you switch it up on a sixpence which again keeps the reader on their toes without you letting skip. There’s a lot to like, particularly in that first stanza, from a more technically proficient point of view. The writing really bleeds together well, and it wouldn’t surprise me to find it had been a written somewhat on a whim. It’s very natural sounding and unfolds as the reader continues. If anything the character is almost secondary to the emotional aspect here, he doesn’t need fleshing out as such, because the point isn’t to draw too much attention to the character - it’s almost best leaving him as a blank character sketch so that the reader can place many people in its shoes and relate accordingly, to the emotional side; rather than assign it a character it it’s own and make it someone unfamiliar to them. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here that it’s intentional and not just an error of judgement.

As I say, emotionally this one delivered, similarly with my remarks on your submission last round. The conflict at its heart is what drove the story forward, it had a universal relatability that placed it firmly on our doorsteps to look at. It’s a shame Lucifer ended up no showing because this one had potential for BOTW. You deserved to at least get a battle. I hope you aren’t too disheartened to give 100% next round because a motivated Witty could well be a very dangerous one indeed. I see you bruh. Let’s get them finals!