big baby verse - sapient

[Pharaohs Army]

i don’t care about people mocking me
i don’t have a philosophy. wish i was swimming in mediocrity
smarter than others. paint me a Rorschach in water colors
allow me to place a single pearl in your coffer, because i don’t have anything emotional to offer
masochistic tendencies, and in the past too much friggen empathy
got a friend and all he wants is to poke girls, all around the known world
i just sit here in the living room with cigarette smoke swirls
i’m a white wolf in a field of black sheep
but still I can’t sleep
i’m sapient today. odd to say, because i have alien DNA
holes in your heart. put the repairs on layaway
or just tell me to stay away
remember grandma’s peaches in a mason jar?
remember when you told me, we could take this far?
daytime tornado on the Kansas prairie
why do you have so many divorced friends who can’t be married?
hollow point tension.
ending it all, and not enough mentioned.
but you told me it would be the best of times.
the rest of our lives.
melodramatic. why can’t you be happy instead?
was it even authentic when you laughed on the bed?
you’ve been becoming my new habit, instead.
you’ve been becoming my new habit, instead.
was it even authentic when you laughed on the bed?
melodramatic. why can’t you be happy instead?
the rest of our lives.
but you told me it would be the best of times.
ending it all, and not enough mentioned.
hollow point tension.
why do you have so many divorced friends who can’t be married?
daytime tornado on the Kansas prairie
remember when you told me, we could take this far?
remember grandma’s peaches in a mason jar?
or just tell me to stay away
holes in your heart. put the repairs on layaway
i’m sapient today. odd to say, because i have alien DNA
but still I can’t sleep
i’m a white wolf in a field of black sheep
i just sit here in the living room with cigarette smoke swirls
got a friend and all he wants is to poke girls, all around the known world
masochistic tendencies, and in the past too much friggen empathy
allow me to place a single pearl in your coffer, because i don’t have anything emotional to offer
smarter than others. paint me a Rorschach in water colors
i don’t have a philosophy. wish i was swimming in mediocrity
i don’t care about people mocking me

[Eŋg]

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=107985

[Pharaohs Army]

Great title. Forgot you had used it tbh. Sorry.

[Pharaohs Army]

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=107985

What do you think about this though? Title aside.

[big baby]

thought it was a good copy of a caricature copying a copy of a caricature. i liked the backwards mirror style.

[Live heat]

better than a big baby verse

[Pharaohs Army]

lil bump

[ACTIVATE SELF]

i don’t care about people mocking me
i don’t have a philosophy. wish i was swimming in mediocrity
smarter than others. paint me a Rorschach in water colors
allow me to place a single pearl in your coffer, because i don’t have anything emotional to offer

A parody of a parody, apparently. Regardless, I am enjoying the flow and how naturally your wording comes across.

masochistic tendencies, and in the past too much friggen empathy
got a friend and all he wants is to poke girls, all around the known world
i just sit here in the living room with cigarette smoke swirls
i’m a white wolf in a field of black sheep
but still I can’t sleep
i’m sapient today. odd to say, because i have alien DNA

So it seems you're just typing your head out, or perhaps unbottling your inner emotions in rhyme form. On another note however, it seems as if I maybe that friend you write of, shameful as it is. But oh well. Thus is life. Now breaking the quoted section into isolated ideas and singular moments of imagery two parts really standout to me. 1) "cigarette smoke swirls" and 2) "alien DNA". I thought both of those lines/ideas were pretty dope.

holes in your heart. put the repairs on layaway
or just tell me to stay away
remember grandma’s peaches in a mason jar?

Lol! This is gold.

remember when you told me, we could take this far?
daytime tornado on the Kansas prairie
why do you have so many divorced friends who can’t be married?

I recognize the satire happening here, but that last line was actually kind of fire.

hollow point tension.
ending it all, and not enough mentioned.
but you told me it would be the best of times.
the rest of our lives.
melodramatic. why can’t you be happy instead?
was it even authentic when you laughed on the bed?
you’ve been becoming my new habit, instead.

Cool closer. I guess.

you’ve been becoming my new habit, instead.
was it even authentic when you laughed on the bed?
melodramatic. why can’t you be happy instead?
the rest of our lives.
but you told me it would be the best of times.
ending it all, and not enough mentioned.
hollow point tension.
why do you have so many divorced friends who can’t be married?
daytime tornado on the Kansas prairie
remember when you told me, we could take this far?
remember grandma’s peaches in a mason jar?
or just tell me to stay away
holes in your heart. put the repairs on layaway
i’m sapient today. odd to say, because i have alien DNA
but still I can’t sleep
i’m a white wolf in a field of black sheep
i just sit here in the living room with cigarette smoke swirls
got a friend and all he wants is to poke girls, all around the known world
masochistic tendencies, and in the past too much friggen empathy
allow me to place a single pearl in your coffer, because i don’t have anything emotional to offer
smarter than others. paint me a Rorschach in water colors
i don’t have a philosophy. wish i was swimming in mediocrity
i don’t care about people mocking me

The mirror effect was kind of a cool idea. Although, I don't feel as if it enhanced the verse in any meaningful way. Overall, however, this was a pretty enjoyable read. I imagine it was written by RDJR's character in the movie 'Tropic Thunder'. You know the one that said, "I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude."

Good stuff!