bondage

[big baby]

inept, and upset, it’s like nothing is mentioned.
lifes a run on sentence, interconnecting.
eclectic, electric, im a plug in the wall.
a bit so perplexive. spotting the occult in the psalms.
the rejection. a song in the hall of this crazy asylum
straitjacket is off, and i still feel like i’m
binded
abstaining. no hiding. not restrained or assigned
what’s a goon to a goblin, what’s 12 noon to this bondage?
loudspeakers.
shouts weaken as i interrupt the connection.
been seasons since I slept at the suns’ dusky consent
grayscale cuts. as lovely as ever
It’s only fear if we love to project it
i’ve learned to accept it, in a functional sense
inflections infecting, so fucking intense
influx of attention. but none to respect
found you by looking at your pendant glow in the dark on your neck
defunct. so abrupt, you can barely hear it
footsteps like eruptions, each thud becomes searing
unbarring. unnerving, like mummies in pyramids
we test love like currents, to conduct an experiment
shave off two bucks antlers, make my lovers potion in dye
appearing like, serum – you took most of in stride
the locust. conniving, always close to
my spine
blowing smog in my airways like covid arrived
halo spinning on her devil horns, soaking in pride.
denoting my time, with absolutely no focus adhered
from shifting gears in a war, now the coast has been cleared
she rode clean on her own horse, barefooted and gorgeous
you read me through your code words; without feeling remorse
like a fleeting emotion that cleaves through divorce
march to the beat of your own drums. cheeks are like porcelain
strawberry-stained bleeding disorder. heart beating endorphins
one weekend in greece, white villa is all that we need
cherry stem in her teeth. counting twenty sheeplings to sleep
plagued by beehives and wasps, in a treetop that’s neither streamlined nor warped
no te preocupas mi amor-
in the morning they’ll be more breezy seaside to waft
sea salt aroma, as sweet as its strong
no siege of despondence, no seething dissolving
just me, being charming, meeting you with resolve
so gather the sky clouds, chain the puzzle piece to my heart
my chéri amor, don’t wait till this dies down
permanent spring, summer breeze, no winter allowed
went from counting to three to running out of fingers to count

[El Muffin]

fuck you bb

[Geno]

Pretty amazing.

[veritas]

I have always and can always maintain that any disagreements our personalities may have conflicted in, was never about your talent. I dug these musings, the way you casually make the idea of a coherent universe seem impossible from sort of casually tossing out riddles and paradoxes created by language and your hidden despair. I would bump this if it was a .mp3. The occult in psalms was a great concept and you took me to the Greece act in the final in my minds eye. Thanks bro. I’m inspired.

[Johnny 6 feet]

A lot of interesting imagery being thrown about here:

"the rejection. a song in the hall of this crazy asylum
straitjacket is off, and i still feel like i’m
binded"

"unbarring. unnerving, like mummies in pyramids
we test love like currents, to conduct an experiment"

"permanent spring, summer breeze, no winter allowed
went from counting to three to running out of fingers to count"

Interesting pictures for sure, but as a whole it could be viewed as a series of non-sequiturs. Still interesting to read, rhyme scheme and general pacing was good. Maybe a little overlong. Original? Definitely. A stand apart from the standard topics I see in OM's.

Keep posting.

-6

[dead man]

hey

bookmarked this, for what its worth

[Exis]

Your first 10 lines are just raw as fuck! I stopped readin' then.

[Inno]

its a good thing when bb posts OM's

[Artifice]

thoroughly enjoyed. started off fire, and ended solid. Your pieces have this abstract quality that makes re-reads so enjoyable, not everybody's pieces can do that. And often a piece that needs to be re-read over and over to figure out isn't great, but that's not the case with yours. Your pieces are just so woven with symbolism and are so playful with language that there's always something new to uncover.

You, dead man and Cimmerian are three writers that I find myself constantly looking back at with a mixture of joy and envy.

[Universe]

"you read me through your code words; without feeling remorse
like a fleeting emotion that cleaves through divorce"

Loved this line. Great piece overall, enjoyed it.

[emurgencee]

God knows you went in on this, I loved everything about it. It read smoothly, the metaphors were dope. Great word usage and imagery. This shit was dope.

[Certain]

This is so fucking good.

[Pharaohs Army]

you got Certain to come out of hiding so it must be good

[Pharaohs Army]

This is vintage Big Baby.

Top notch content through the first 3/4.

Showed this to my friend who is a songwriter and rock musician.

He said it should end at "my spine"

Because the Greece trip seems to be something only the writer understands.

I don't know if I agree or not.

Because I liked most of this.

eclectic, electric, im a plug in the wall.
a bit so perplexive. spotting the occult in the psalms.
So dope.

This whole thing should be getting more attention so I'm upping it with this critique.

Keep posting BB. We all eagerly await your next.

Thanks

[dyedinthewool]

This is lovely, big baby.

[Witty]

Incredibly good. One of the best I've read from you, and that's saying something.

There are maybe a handful of writers here who could create something like this. It was a pleasure to read this.

[Dominate]

Yeah this is excellent.

I miss this era of netcees.

[Witty]

I just noticed this is 3 years old.

You're an even bigger bb now.

I have read this 5 times in the last week. People will tell you this is great and most of them won't fully appreciate how great this really is. I'm a pretty fucking great writer, I have written some pretty fucking great verses. I have never written anything as good as this.

I said a handful of people here are capable of this. I'll name them. Dead man, Vulgar, Zen (who created masterpieces for fun) and Pancakebrah. That's esteemed company which you very much belong in. This was one of the best verses I have read in almost 2 decades on these boards.