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Adverse
07-14-2020, 03:37 AM
https://i.ibb.co/nwsY5zL/12313751-1027150054002062-247211311089281667-n.jpg (https://ibb.co/kGgwWQS)

Shhhh…
I drift to sleep, mumbling these self loathing soliloquies
Lulled to rest by the rippling waves, the shaking of a million leaves
As my last breathe is exhaled, I feel a pair of soft hands gripping my sleeve
Upon awakening, I find myself running barefoot in night-lit desolate city streets
Chasing...you. My heart calls you familiar, the sweet serenity
Your hair falls in strands bluer than the melancholy that bellows deep within me
Over the course of the last five years my heart has become so coarse n hardened
But it feels as light as a feather as I follow you, my torch in the darkness
Are you an angel? Or death's messenger complete with the scythe?
You can't speak until we arrive, so that's for me to decide..
I trudge on slowly behind my leader, walking fearful underneath her
Suddenly I'm at two giant wooden church doors, quietly peerin through the cedar
"Dearly departed.." I can barely make out the words, in tears at the message
There'll be no resurrection, no Spirit Detective
I crash through the entrance, invisible and inaudible to the audience
Screaming at the pastor, standing at my casket and clawing it
I turn to see you standing in the doorway draped in your pink kimono
You motion me towards you mouthing "it's time to go" "NO!"
But my cemented feet levitate, as I drift towards you with benevolent grace
I watch as they bury my vessel in sediment, en route to heaven's gates
Life goes on, you drag my spirit away from these plains, I float on
Watching the River Styx crash violently beneath, it would be justified yet a shame if you dropped me,
Wouldn't it Botan?

Scar
07-16-2020, 09:37 PM
lulz kimono// "to go" "no"

i smiled at that for some reason lul. I had to look up what a botan was and she's like an eastern version of charon. very imagery-rich addy, as usual. "my hear calls you familiar" was awesome. good stuff my man.

Exis
07-18-2020, 11:09 PM
Lol @ havin' to reserch Botan you dense fuck...I'll drop some cronstructive feed when I can fam...stay well.

Geno
07-23-2020, 02:50 AM
Up

ACTIVATE SELF
07-27-2020, 09:32 PM
Oh, so after looking at the picture I figured this piece must be about some anime character or show I was unfamiliar with. So I looked up the name Botan to get some context. I read a quick wiki about her and assessed that she's like a grim reaper-esque character, or in this case, a Charon/ferryman type of character, more specifically. Interesting. With that in mind I re-read your drop....and...I liked it. The words and imagery, both flowed like butter. Gracefully and with color. Very elegant read.

Exis
07-31-2020, 01:16 AM
Shhhh…
I drift to sleep, mumbling these self loathing soliloquies
Lulled to rest by the rippling waves, the shaking of a million leaves
As my last breathe is exhaled, I feel a pair of soft hands gripping my sleeve
Upon awakening, I find myself running barefoot in night-lit desolate city streets
Chasing...you. My heart calls you familiar, the sweet serenity
Your hair falls in strands bluer than the melancholy that bellows deep within me

Beautiful imagery...

Like SELF said the flow is butter...you"ve also from what I gathered have gotten people familiar with Botan, that just in itself is great...

Dope read man, you put up some really nice shit here...would love for you to expand on it, maybe a second act? Either way, thought it was niccceee fam.

Fig
08-02-2020, 04:28 AM
Didn't look up the character in the image but didn't have to. It's standalone as a piece of poetry. Love how you stretched out some of the multis

Chasing...you. My heart calls you familiar, the sweet serenity
Your hair falls in strands bluer than the melancholy that bellows deep within me

Playing with those words and not compromising flow for meaning. Look forward to reading more.