Sharp
08-11-2020, 11:18 PM
What’s up everyone. Sharp back with some tried + brand new mag pieces featuring the legends Hush and UserName. Last week saw an utter disappointment and shameful display from Blue Bayou, but we need to get over it. Fuck you Blue. I’m over it now.
Fuck you Blue
Anyway…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOcY02xOtMw
[Reviews]
[Sharp]
Contender Match: evaD 3-0 vs Bomb Bard 3-2
What’s better than one lobster?
The lobsters keep coming. This time Spree brought two. Unfortunately for him, Dave brought enough heat to walk away with a KO win. He really put on a demo of how to use your opponent’s full pic - went after things we know about his character (tidal shot), flipped things in the pic (opener), and made fun of general features (fat bars). Overall, fresh and well paced read that was mad consistent. Spree was no slouch, but really seemed to get tunnel vision on the bathroom for a bit - literally flipped ‘clean top’/shower twice in the same verse. He did a nice job of playing with pieces of the costume - Ace Ventura and Flowers were both solid - but didn’t have anything that really stood up to Dave’s most personal angles. This one was definitely closer than you’d think with a KO, but Dave deservedly takes the dub and earns a champ shot.
Hush 4-1 vs FGR 3-2
Son’d of the Mask
I was glad to see this one actually happen after how it started. Was a fire battle, but went on a little long. Imo, it got kind of stale after 18 lines of face closeups, especially FGR who really only went after Hush’s mask and face. I know, you should be able to write a whole verse about your opponent’s face, but by the 4th mask/gun flip you’re wishing he would’ve done more like his fire bodega concept. Hush was light and goofy at times but hit where it counts. Overall, was battle of the week pretty easily. Usually an up and coming head taking on a vet in a long battle is how they make themself known to be a threat, but FGR’s already done that plenty of times. This past week was reinforcement.
Destroyer 3-2 vs Adverse 2-3
Glory Days - Still to Come?
Crazy seeing a picture of Des back in the 60’s. Time’s treated him pretty well. Much better than he treated Adverse. Des was consistent and really took apart every aspect of the pic well. Had the kind of line that made you scroll back up at least once. Seemed like almost every bar (if not the whole verse) was quoted by at least one vote. Adverse wasn’t bad, but voters seemed to think his best lines were the ones about the guy next to Des. Nothing wrong with dissing other people in the picture, but usually, unless it’s their girl or family, it’s not a great sign. He also did that thing that I especially don’t like to see in announcing it was a key midway through - unless there is a direct connection to the punch (which was not the case), it’s the equivalent of someone saying their freestyling mid freestyle… usually isn’t a good sign. He seemed to start to get a good direction by the end, but at that point it was too late. Des really made a statement and shows why he’s in a contender match this week.
UserName 2-3 vs Wanderer 2-3
Consistency, consistency, consistency
Consistency. UserName had it. Wanderer didn’t quite have enough. If this had been 10 lines I could’ve seen it closer. Wanderer brought his usual clever ideas like ‘no elbow’ - not a fat angle I’ve ever seen, but it hit - but had a few lost to execution like that opener. User doesn’t have the same struggle with wording and really took off with this pic. Credit to Wanderer giving his opponents ammo week in and week out, but damn, did User not waste the possibility for angles here. I think if this was 10 lines and Wanderer put a little more into those 10, it would’ve been close, but instead we have a solid battle ending in a KO.
TOP iLL DRAGSTER TWO 2-3 vs Quiz 0-0
Barcotic: Reborn
Two things Quiz struggles with seem to be wording and losing. It was close for sure, and with a 5-3 finish you’d expect the loser to feel strongly. Going 4 extra lines, it kind of looked like Quiz’s battle to lose, but line count doesn’t matter if half of them don’t hit. With bars like ‘nectar eyes/neck to rise’ it’s fair to say that the hits weren’t consistent and when they did land, there were workable ideas with inconsistent execution. Top really needed 3 solid hits to win, and in enough of our opinions, he had them. Quiz gave TOP his family to pick apart and TOP more or less just played with it. In that verse, he generally had enough stuff like his Autism Quiz bar: simple but effective. Better execution makes a world of difference. Before Quiz gets too mad about this,
[A Quiz on Quiz]
[Hush] & [User]
Foreword By Hush
It seems at times we are tested during our txtcee careers.. we must examine these moments. Bitch thats wordplay. But yo Barcotic wadup my nigga. But anyway this section isnt about Barcotic its about Quiz. Who obviously isnt Barcotic but if he was he sure wouldnt have to act or txt any different. But he is not, so dont any of you for a moment think that Quiz is Barcotic. Quiz by his own admission is a dude from old school BBoys. Which is strange cuz he looks about 23 in his pic an BBoys died about 10 years ago. But whatever, some people join hiphop supergroups and steal cars by seven. Its not a competition. I just want to know who Quiz was on BBoys and how he has so much knowledge on the UPN guys and there perceived "voting circle". Cuz thats something Barcotic would say, and when you are obviously not Barcotic you shouldnt say stuff like that. I welcome all new members with open arms, especially old bboys heads, as I myself am a old bboys head. So yeah, put your number two pencils down and turn your papers over. The quiz has ended. - Hush
Hello, Children, it’s User again and currently I’m 6 shots deep and my A/C is out so I’m drinking by my bay window and pondering the unponderables. The little things, like why do we dream? Are we alone in the universe? And of course, what’s it like to have a shark tattoo?
Moving on, since I was personally attacked for being part of a “voting ring”, and I normally don’t waste my time explaining WHY I hate or dislike the lines I don’t quote in my votes, I thought it best to take some time and breakdown the verse in question in a more traditional style. I won’t be changing my voting style in actual battles, mind you, but because I’m nice and because it’s Shark Week, I figured I’d touch on a few things…
Let’s begin:
No pics on insta, facebook or his tweets. He saves 'em for netcees leagues
Last time he made a TikTok, it said "this nigga could feed 1000 generations of our species"
What in the mud sliding fuck. Just on a rhyme level, this sucks. That was honestly my first problem with it. You have to pronounce the setup’s finisher like there’s no space in between the two words to make it work. Net-CEESLEAGUES/SPECIES. Beyond that? The punch is just… I don’t even know if that’s a punch. What are you even saying here? HOHOHO YOU MADE A TIKTOK AND no, I’m not even gonna fucking contribute to this. That’s a no from me.
EVERY CELL on him wanted to be a superhero...even prepped at ya home base
Looking like obesity tore your spidey suit so you used whatever was left as a phone case
This was close to being cool. I liked how you said EVERY CELL in all caps to further drive the point home, in case we missed the phone that took up half of his fucking picture. It helped someone I’m sure. But other than that, let me get this straight, you’re insinuating that after his bulbous frame tore his Spider-Man suit to pieces, he grabbed the remaining pieces and fashioned a phone case for himself. Stunning. I bet he’s crying now. Another no.
What a whack pic with no action. I demand lots
Dreamcatcher in ya background, in other words you're related to the fat kid in The Sandlot
I gave you this one. I quoted it. I enjoyed it, even, because I only examined it on the surface level of comparing him to the fat kid from Sandlot. I didn’t even fucking notice you connected it to DREAMCATCHER, and there’s no fucking dreamcatcher in his picture. So now, I feel like you’re purposely trying to make me hate this verse. I liked one line, I gave it to you, and you fucking reached back in after the battle was done and went “HAHA, ACK-SHUALLLLLLY READ IT AGAIN USER!” and now guess what? It’s another fucking no.
I'm a threat, of course you'll be respecting my shine after
I expect you to praise everything in my verse with the neck of a line backer
Motherfuck no.
Call me Cus D'Amato, because I create monsters and prepare hard..
But if you Cus D'Amato is 'a buck for a fuck' & then you put a dollar in the swear jar
I’m not even mad at the wordplay here, Barc. The wordplay is actually one of your better ones. I’m mad at what you did with it. A buck for a fuck? You made everyone re-read this shit 30 times to get it, just for the payoff to be a buck for a fuck and him having to use a swear jar? So much work for so little payoff. But if you know me, you know I hate wordplay. I’ve said it everywhere, hence, why yet againnnn… This is another no.
I look happy..is it upsetting to see a friendly kid and a pretty mom?
Because U look extremely depressed. Then again, so does anything that you're sitting on
Decent, as far as this verse goes. Uninspired and lazy as far as fat jokes go. Another no.
I got nectar eyes; willing to do everything for the honey ..
You could get your neck to rise by driving anything over 20
…Nectar eyes, my guy? Go sit in the corner.
I was gona stop at 14 but I'll hate on you some more
Drags is a fitting name.. it's what your waist does when you barely make it thru the door
Decent nameplay. Turned into a lazy fat joke. You could've stopped at 20, if they were all like this and you still would've lost. I don’t know if you’re noticing a theme here, but if I’m reading a fat joke, that shit needs to be crisp from all angles before I’m giving it props. I’ve literally been reading them for 15 years.
In summary: this verse was just not good. You came into this with every advantage already: the guy posted less, he didn’t drop extremely remarkable, it’s totally a beatable verse. And you underwhelmed like a motherfucker. That’s why you didn’t get my vote.
Class dismissed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb_YtzIvBL0
[Top Punches]
[Hush]
1. The way that hair comes off the line matters
Baldness is running SEVERAL routes on that head, and not one is a fly pattern
Zuch
2. For real, don’t make me put the fear of God in ‘em
They call you Quiz but your kid clearly can’t pass the one for autism
TOP iLL DRAGSTER TWO
3. whats wrong inno why are you so frigid!
ironic the lock in ur face screams insecurity and its 128 bit encrypted
Mac
4. Repetitive photos are an etiquette no-no, but I ain’t vexed about it b
Predicted a pic with a hideous bottom dweller, I just didn’t expect there to be three
EvaD
5. I drive by home depot all the time...all u Mexicans are out there deep
That's not corona safety..he's ready to paint your apartment for super cheap
FGR
6. Her nose is a bit much, I bet she does blow out of big cups
One sneeze hits her walls harder than anything your fragile dick does
UserName
7. Shark tat on a dark hat??? bro, say ur just lyin ta me
I knew u repped Cro, but I thought it was just of the “issant” variety
Destroyer
8. We know he won’t drop some fire.. man this slob is just a hack
Not only is he the shape of my washer/dryer, that’s also his job at the Lobster Shack
EvaD
9. I'm fucking bitches son, literally the bigger the cup the badder
Only time y'all was gaming on sum D&Ds is arguing over who was dungeon master
Adverse
10. Ur health been taken a hit.. smoking regs tasting like shit
When ur shirts the size of a sedan u hotbox the hoodie instead of the whip
Hush
[Juxtaposed]
[Sharp]
Basically, I’m enjoying the insanity of this hobby by taking some of the most gangsta shit I’ve read and attaching it to the least gangsta shit I’ve seen. Some of you, I know are insane. Bomb Bard has probably ripped someone’s head off over lobster. Some of you… best to stick to text battles (where you’re dope dont be mad guys its just jokes I'll do other ppl next week).
https://i.ibb.co/4T1bryJ/wanderer.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/TrfQ900/zelph.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/pPdsLtf/adverse.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/prJLbTC/Adverse2.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44UYLmTfEdg
[Previews]
[Sharp]
[I]Champ Match: Zuch 5-1 vs evaD 4-0
Two of the season’s big stories finally squaring off. Zuch’s meteoric rise had a huge momentum killer in Blue not showing up, but his verse really made a statement that he deserved the title shot. Zuch’s been consistently bringing comedy and outright mean bars together, as evidenced by his appearance in Top Puches. evaD, aka Dave, is 4-0 for a reason. Consistency matters in a league like this and he has it. One thing I’ve only noticed recently about his verses is how he kind of rotates what angle he’s taking next. He’s able to keep his verses fresh with ease. Fresh alone won’t be enough against Zuch. Zuch’s verses have turned heads for good reason and he can outright demolish a pic. Dave’s earned the title shot for sure but he absolutely will need to be meaner and funnier than he’s been, otherwise it’s Zuch’s battle to lose. Champ matches bring out the best in people and I can absolutely see Dave dropping his best verse of the season here. Odds are, he’ll need it.
Contender Match: Hush 5-1 vs Destroyer 4-2
Ahh, time to see which tried and true NC head I can vote for in the champ match next week over whatever UPN head takes it… Huh? No, Quiz, I didn’t say that, you’re crazy. My first thought on this matchup is that Hush just dropped a hot 18 against a cloud of smoke and a 2XL hoodie and Des is going to give him more than enough to work with. I can’t count out his opponent, though. Destroyer’s been great in every battle this season. If User showed up to their battle that could’ve been the highlight of the season. They’re both funny, clever, observant, and merciless where they need to be, so we really just have to see who brings more of it this week. Hush is HOF for a reason, but Des is more than capable of beating anyone in this league right now. Potential season highlight here.
FGR 3-2 vs Sharp 1-0
The battle of people who can read your votes. Finally, a real chance at a sway after a boring season. Mod battle, so we’re hopefully so sick of this shit that we’ll want to go 10-12. That’s going to present an interesting dynamic because FGR has kept it close in longer battles, but in a short verse match, the one or two bangers he brings consistently can swing every damn vote his way. My nerdy look won’t hold up well against mean enough gun bars. Odds are I’ll need to rely on humor. Assuming he’s cool with shorter verses, question really who will have the all-important line of the battle?
Wanderer 2-4 vs Adverse 2-4
Man, Wanderer’s record is probably the least reflective of his ability of anyone in the league. That’s just the nature of short seasons though. He definitely knows it - had a tough schedule but he’s shown up. Usually he’s just be beaten on consistency but I’ve noticed guys who take L’s like that and aren’t afraid to come back with another 16 the next week have dope trajectories. That said, Adverse is a very beatable opponent. No offense to Adverse, but he tends to have one big flaw in his concept selection. The bars themselves go from a crazy good idea to sometime so predictable you know the punch 3 words into the setup. Wanderer needs a little work with execution but he’s got the makings of a solid bar 9 times out of 10. If Adverse can find some creative angles (which definitely exist against Wanderer) he’s bound to perform well, but as it stands, I think Wanderer is the safer bet.
Wanderer: 60/40
UserName 3-3 vs TOP iLL DRAGSTER TWO 3-3
This should be interesting. I’m expecting a lot of fat and redhead bars from both and that’s absolutely going to turn into ‘who did it better’ votes. Both of these guys have unique styles that tend to lean on comedy, but the biggest difference I see between them is consistency. TOP seems to key every verse - he already dropped - but UserName clearly puts a little extra time into his bars. Even if it’s just an extra few minutes, the results of his last few battles show a knack for funny wording, meticulous word selection, or both. TOP would probably need the two best lines of the battle to outdo User on consistency, but he’s definitely capable of it. Still picking User for consistency.
UserName: 60/40
Mac 2-4 vs Quiz 0-1
Both of these guys suffer from the same issues - serviceable to good concepts but inconsistent execution. Quiz has already dropped, and I’m sure he’ll edit it plenty, but if Mac takes his time this could turn into a convincing dub for him. Mac’s proven to have really clever concepts like his encryption line against Inno last week. If he takes his time, he could really do some damage. This won’t be a battle of hits, unfortunately. Quiz decided to go 16, and at this skill level, it’ll likely come down to who misses less. Quiz is definitely motivated to beat the system… hi Barc…. So he’ll probably go the extra mile and drop harsher. Without reading Quiz’s drop, I think Mac has more clever concepts, so he’s got the edge. Wording notwithstanding he's at the top of Top Punches, deservedly. Quiz - if you still think there’s a voting ring doing things against you in 2020… hi Barc.
Mac: 55/45
[Outro]
That’s it for this week. Shoutout to Hush and User for their contributions, as well as Mac, Des, and Hush for music selection. You all know the drill. Make it dope. Peace
Fuck you Blue
Anyway…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOcY02xOtMw
[Reviews]
[Sharp]
Contender Match: evaD 3-0 vs Bomb Bard 3-2
What’s better than one lobster?
The lobsters keep coming. This time Spree brought two. Unfortunately for him, Dave brought enough heat to walk away with a KO win. He really put on a demo of how to use your opponent’s full pic - went after things we know about his character (tidal shot), flipped things in the pic (opener), and made fun of general features (fat bars). Overall, fresh and well paced read that was mad consistent. Spree was no slouch, but really seemed to get tunnel vision on the bathroom for a bit - literally flipped ‘clean top’/shower twice in the same verse. He did a nice job of playing with pieces of the costume - Ace Ventura and Flowers were both solid - but didn’t have anything that really stood up to Dave’s most personal angles. This one was definitely closer than you’d think with a KO, but Dave deservedly takes the dub and earns a champ shot.
Hush 4-1 vs FGR 3-2
Son’d of the Mask
I was glad to see this one actually happen after how it started. Was a fire battle, but went on a little long. Imo, it got kind of stale after 18 lines of face closeups, especially FGR who really only went after Hush’s mask and face. I know, you should be able to write a whole verse about your opponent’s face, but by the 4th mask/gun flip you’re wishing he would’ve done more like his fire bodega concept. Hush was light and goofy at times but hit where it counts. Overall, was battle of the week pretty easily. Usually an up and coming head taking on a vet in a long battle is how they make themself known to be a threat, but FGR’s already done that plenty of times. This past week was reinforcement.
Destroyer 3-2 vs Adverse 2-3
Glory Days - Still to Come?
Crazy seeing a picture of Des back in the 60’s. Time’s treated him pretty well. Much better than he treated Adverse. Des was consistent and really took apart every aspect of the pic well. Had the kind of line that made you scroll back up at least once. Seemed like almost every bar (if not the whole verse) was quoted by at least one vote. Adverse wasn’t bad, but voters seemed to think his best lines were the ones about the guy next to Des. Nothing wrong with dissing other people in the picture, but usually, unless it’s their girl or family, it’s not a great sign. He also did that thing that I especially don’t like to see in announcing it was a key midway through - unless there is a direct connection to the punch (which was not the case), it’s the equivalent of someone saying their freestyling mid freestyle… usually isn’t a good sign. He seemed to start to get a good direction by the end, but at that point it was too late. Des really made a statement and shows why he’s in a contender match this week.
UserName 2-3 vs Wanderer 2-3
Consistency, consistency, consistency
Consistency. UserName had it. Wanderer didn’t quite have enough. If this had been 10 lines I could’ve seen it closer. Wanderer brought his usual clever ideas like ‘no elbow’ - not a fat angle I’ve ever seen, but it hit - but had a few lost to execution like that opener. User doesn’t have the same struggle with wording and really took off with this pic. Credit to Wanderer giving his opponents ammo week in and week out, but damn, did User not waste the possibility for angles here. I think if this was 10 lines and Wanderer put a little more into those 10, it would’ve been close, but instead we have a solid battle ending in a KO.
TOP iLL DRAGSTER TWO 2-3 vs Quiz 0-0
Barcotic: Reborn
Two things Quiz struggles with seem to be wording and losing. It was close for sure, and with a 5-3 finish you’d expect the loser to feel strongly. Going 4 extra lines, it kind of looked like Quiz’s battle to lose, but line count doesn’t matter if half of them don’t hit. With bars like ‘nectar eyes/neck to rise’ it’s fair to say that the hits weren’t consistent and when they did land, there were workable ideas with inconsistent execution. Top really needed 3 solid hits to win, and in enough of our opinions, he had them. Quiz gave TOP his family to pick apart and TOP more or less just played with it. In that verse, he generally had enough stuff like his Autism Quiz bar: simple but effective. Better execution makes a world of difference. Before Quiz gets too mad about this,
[A Quiz on Quiz]
[Hush] & [User]
Foreword By Hush
It seems at times we are tested during our txtcee careers.. we must examine these moments. Bitch thats wordplay. But yo Barcotic wadup my nigga. But anyway this section isnt about Barcotic its about Quiz. Who obviously isnt Barcotic but if he was he sure wouldnt have to act or txt any different. But he is not, so dont any of you for a moment think that Quiz is Barcotic. Quiz by his own admission is a dude from old school BBoys. Which is strange cuz he looks about 23 in his pic an BBoys died about 10 years ago. But whatever, some people join hiphop supergroups and steal cars by seven. Its not a competition. I just want to know who Quiz was on BBoys and how he has so much knowledge on the UPN guys and there perceived "voting circle". Cuz thats something Barcotic would say, and when you are obviously not Barcotic you shouldnt say stuff like that. I welcome all new members with open arms, especially old bboys heads, as I myself am a old bboys head. So yeah, put your number two pencils down and turn your papers over. The quiz has ended. - Hush
Hello, Children, it’s User again and currently I’m 6 shots deep and my A/C is out so I’m drinking by my bay window and pondering the unponderables. The little things, like why do we dream? Are we alone in the universe? And of course, what’s it like to have a shark tattoo?
Moving on, since I was personally attacked for being part of a “voting ring”, and I normally don’t waste my time explaining WHY I hate or dislike the lines I don’t quote in my votes, I thought it best to take some time and breakdown the verse in question in a more traditional style. I won’t be changing my voting style in actual battles, mind you, but because I’m nice and because it’s Shark Week, I figured I’d touch on a few things…
Let’s begin:
No pics on insta, facebook or his tweets. He saves 'em for netcees leagues
Last time he made a TikTok, it said "this nigga could feed 1000 generations of our species"
What in the mud sliding fuck. Just on a rhyme level, this sucks. That was honestly my first problem with it. You have to pronounce the setup’s finisher like there’s no space in between the two words to make it work. Net-CEESLEAGUES/SPECIES. Beyond that? The punch is just… I don’t even know if that’s a punch. What are you even saying here? HOHOHO YOU MADE A TIKTOK AND no, I’m not even gonna fucking contribute to this. That’s a no from me.
EVERY CELL on him wanted to be a superhero...even prepped at ya home base
Looking like obesity tore your spidey suit so you used whatever was left as a phone case
This was close to being cool. I liked how you said EVERY CELL in all caps to further drive the point home, in case we missed the phone that took up half of his fucking picture. It helped someone I’m sure. But other than that, let me get this straight, you’re insinuating that after his bulbous frame tore his Spider-Man suit to pieces, he grabbed the remaining pieces and fashioned a phone case for himself. Stunning. I bet he’s crying now. Another no.
What a whack pic with no action. I demand lots
Dreamcatcher in ya background, in other words you're related to the fat kid in The Sandlot
I gave you this one. I quoted it. I enjoyed it, even, because I only examined it on the surface level of comparing him to the fat kid from Sandlot. I didn’t even fucking notice you connected it to DREAMCATCHER, and there’s no fucking dreamcatcher in his picture. So now, I feel like you’re purposely trying to make me hate this verse. I liked one line, I gave it to you, and you fucking reached back in after the battle was done and went “HAHA, ACK-SHUALLLLLLY READ IT AGAIN USER!” and now guess what? It’s another fucking no.
I'm a threat, of course you'll be respecting my shine after
I expect you to praise everything in my verse with the neck of a line backer
Motherfuck no.
Call me Cus D'Amato, because I create monsters and prepare hard..
But if you Cus D'Amato is 'a buck for a fuck' & then you put a dollar in the swear jar
I’m not even mad at the wordplay here, Barc. The wordplay is actually one of your better ones. I’m mad at what you did with it. A buck for a fuck? You made everyone re-read this shit 30 times to get it, just for the payoff to be a buck for a fuck and him having to use a swear jar? So much work for so little payoff. But if you know me, you know I hate wordplay. I’ve said it everywhere, hence, why yet againnnn… This is another no.
I look happy..is it upsetting to see a friendly kid and a pretty mom?
Because U look extremely depressed. Then again, so does anything that you're sitting on
Decent, as far as this verse goes. Uninspired and lazy as far as fat jokes go. Another no.
I got nectar eyes; willing to do everything for the honey ..
You could get your neck to rise by driving anything over 20
…Nectar eyes, my guy? Go sit in the corner.
I was gona stop at 14 but I'll hate on you some more
Drags is a fitting name.. it's what your waist does when you barely make it thru the door
Decent nameplay. Turned into a lazy fat joke. You could've stopped at 20, if they were all like this and you still would've lost. I don’t know if you’re noticing a theme here, but if I’m reading a fat joke, that shit needs to be crisp from all angles before I’m giving it props. I’ve literally been reading them for 15 years.
In summary: this verse was just not good. You came into this with every advantage already: the guy posted less, he didn’t drop extremely remarkable, it’s totally a beatable verse. And you underwhelmed like a motherfucker. That’s why you didn’t get my vote.
Class dismissed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb_YtzIvBL0
[Top Punches]
[Hush]
1. The way that hair comes off the line matters
Baldness is running SEVERAL routes on that head, and not one is a fly pattern
Zuch
2. For real, don’t make me put the fear of God in ‘em
They call you Quiz but your kid clearly can’t pass the one for autism
TOP iLL DRAGSTER TWO
3. whats wrong inno why are you so frigid!
ironic the lock in ur face screams insecurity and its 128 bit encrypted
Mac
4. Repetitive photos are an etiquette no-no, but I ain’t vexed about it b
Predicted a pic with a hideous bottom dweller, I just didn’t expect there to be three
EvaD
5. I drive by home depot all the time...all u Mexicans are out there deep
That's not corona safety..he's ready to paint your apartment for super cheap
FGR
6. Her nose is a bit much, I bet she does blow out of big cups
One sneeze hits her walls harder than anything your fragile dick does
UserName
7. Shark tat on a dark hat??? bro, say ur just lyin ta me
I knew u repped Cro, but I thought it was just of the “issant” variety
Destroyer
8. We know he won’t drop some fire.. man this slob is just a hack
Not only is he the shape of my washer/dryer, that’s also his job at the Lobster Shack
EvaD
9. I'm fucking bitches son, literally the bigger the cup the badder
Only time y'all was gaming on sum D&Ds is arguing over who was dungeon master
Adverse
10. Ur health been taken a hit.. smoking regs tasting like shit
When ur shirts the size of a sedan u hotbox the hoodie instead of the whip
Hush
[Juxtaposed]
[Sharp]
Basically, I’m enjoying the insanity of this hobby by taking some of the most gangsta shit I’ve read and attaching it to the least gangsta shit I’ve seen. Some of you, I know are insane. Bomb Bard has probably ripped someone’s head off over lobster. Some of you… best to stick to text battles (where you’re dope dont be mad guys its just jokes I'll do other ppl next week).
https://i.ibb.co/4T1bryJ/wanderer.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/TrfQ900/zelph.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/pPdsLtf/adverse.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/prJLbTC/Adverse2.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44UYLmTfEdg
[Previews]
[Sharp]
[I]Champ Match: Zuch 5-1 vs evaD 4-0
Two of the season’s big stories finally squaring off. Zuch’s meteoric rise had a huge momentum killer in Blue not showing up, but his verse really made a statement that he deserved the title shot. Zuch’s been consistently bringing comedy and outright mean bars together, as evidenced by his appearance in Top Puches. evaD, aka Dave, is 4-0 for a reason. Consistency matters in a league like this and he has it. One thing I’ve only noticed recently about his verses is how he kind of rotates what angle he’s taking next. He’s able to keep his verses fresh with ease. Fresh alone won’t be enough against Zuch. Zuch’s verses have turned heads for good reason and he can outright demolish a pic. Dave’s earned the title shot for sure but he absolutely will need to be meaner and funnier than he’s been, otherwise it’s Zuch’s battle to lose. Champ matches bring out the best in people and I can absolutely see Dave dropping his best verse of the season here. Odds are, he’ll need it.
Contender Match: Hush 5-1 vs Destroyer 4-2
Ahh, time to see which tried and true NC head I can vote for in the champ match next week over whatever UPN head takes it… Huh? No, Quiz, I didn’t say that, you’re crazy. My first thought on this matchup is that Hush just dropped a hot 18 against a cloud of smoke and a 2XL hoodie and Des is going to give him more than enough to work with. I can’t count out his opponent, though. Destroyer’s been great in every battle this season. If User showed up to their battle that could’ve been the highlight of the season. They’re both funny, clever, observant, and merciless where they need to be, so we really just have to see who brings more of it this week. Hush is HOF for a reason, but Des is more than capable of beating anyone in this league right now. Potential season highlight here.
FGR 3-2 vs Sharp 1-0
The battle of people who can read your votes. Finally, a real chance at a sway after a boring season. Mod battle, so we’re hopefully so sick of this shit that we’ll want to go 10-12. That’s going to present an interesting dynamic because FGR has kept it close in longer battles, but in a short verse match, the one or two bangers he brings consistently can swing every damn vote his way. My nerdy look won’t hold up well against mean enough gun bars. Odds are I’ll need to rely on humor. Assuming he’s cool with shorter verses, question really who will have the all-important line of the battle?
Wanderer 2-4 vs Adverse 2-4
Man, Wanderer’s record is probably the least reflective of his ability of anyone in the league. That’s just the nature of short seasons though. He definitely knows it - had a tough schedule but he’s shown up. Usually he’s just be beaten on consistency but I’ve noticed guys who take L’s like that and aren’t afraid to come back with another 16 the next week have dope trajectories. That said, Adverse is a very beatable opponent. No offense to Adverse, but he tends to have one big flaw in his concept selection. The bars themselves go from a crazy good idea to sometime so predictable you know the punch 3 words into the setup. Wanderer needs a little work with execution but he’s got the makings of a solid bar 9 times out of 10. If Adverse can find some creative angles (which definitely exist against Wanderer) he’s bound to perform well, but as it stands, I think Wanderer is the safer bet.
Wanderer: 60/40
UserName 3-3 vs TOP iLL DRAGSTER TWO 3-3
This should be interesting. I’m expecting a lot of fat and redhead bars from both and that’s absolutely going to turn into ‘who did it better’ votes. Both of these guys have unique styles that tend to lean on comedy, but the biggest difference I see between them is consistency. TOP seems to key every verse - he already dropped - but UserName clearly puts a little extra time into his bars. Even if it’s just an extra few minutes, the results of his last few battles show a knack for funny wording, meticulous word selection, or both. TOP would probably need the two best lines of the battle to outdo User on consistency, but he’s definitely capable of it. Still picking User for consistency.
UserName: 60/40
Mac 2-4 vs Quiz 0-1
Both of these guys suffer from the same issues - serviceable to good concepts but inconsistent execution. Quiz has already dropped, and I’m sure he’ll edit it plenty, but if Mac takes his time this could turn into a convincing dub for him. Mac’s proven to have really clever concepts like his encryption line against Inno last week. If he takes his time, he could really do some damage. This won’t be a battle of hits, unfortunately. Quiz decided to go 16, and at this skill level, it’ll likely come down to who misses less. Quiz is definitely motivated to beat the system… hi Barc…. So he’ll probably go the extra mile and drop harsher. Without reading Quiz’s drop, I think Mac has more clever concepts, so he’s got the edge. Wording notwithstanding he's at the top of Top Punches, deservedly. Quiz - if you still think there’s a voting ring doing things against you in 2020… hi Barc.
Mac: 55/45
[Outro]
That’s it for this week. Shoutout to Hush and User for their contributions, as well as Mac, Des, and Hush for music selection. You all know the drill. Make it dope. Peace