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dead man
10-04-2020, 12:32 AM
i can't

remember why i never called. our epilogue
cheesy nachos pretzel salt
baseball diamond, boxing rings and metal vaults
flannel with the denim arms
poolshark chevy rental car
sinsemilla epsilon, as
high as your cholesterol. we ventured onward
swear to god, i never wanted
growing up to make it awkward
fatherhood is honesty and clear responses
check deposits practice modest
guilty conscience, pinky promise
Nerfgun fights and rocket launches
propane grill Vienna sausage. responsibility
you sorta wanted. sometimes it was just too much
for a runaway in South Chicago

thank you

Universe
10-04-2020, 11:35 AM
You're one of a kind my man. The last half was fire, especially.

"swear to god, i never wanted
growing up to make it awkward
fatherhood is honesty and clear responses
check deposits practice modest
guilty conscience, pinky promise
Nerfgun fights and rocket launches
propane grill Vienna sausage..."

Yikes.

UPN Zuch
10-04-2020, 01:41 PM
This was dumb hot

Hush
10-04-2020, 01:50 PM
U should be getting paid to write this shit bro

dull boy
10-04-2020, 03:30 PM
Kept the scheme real tight here. Less wasted space than your usual.
Both approaches work. This was fun, though.

Exis
10-07-2020, 12:05 AM
Ahh...dope much? Was tryna quote yet ended up highlightin' the whole verse.

Sick spit man.

Johnny 6 feet
10-07-2020, 08:02 PM
Short and sweet dead. A tongue twister packed to the brim with short, sharp imagery that said a tonne in a just a few words. It was like flipping through a family album, or maybe a drunk man's mind swimming in nostalgia. An initial barrage that settled into the theme with a sad payoff in the end that made the whole thing worthy of a re-read. Very good.

Eŋg
10-16-2020, 08:56 PM
i resonated heavily with the sentiment here, more than i would have liked.