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Nigma
08-22-2022, 10:32 PM
No show verse from the last week of AOWL

An Allegory of Truth and Time

https://www.celesteprize.com/indi/_pics/6/1/2011-38577-99909_26116_4565_t.webp?m=1317108327

Life is like being chained up in a cave, forced to watch shadows flitting against a stone wall



Behold;
A tale of three generations, there's meaning to that
Cursed with seeing the past when it needs us to act
The circle that is life's an oval squeezed and compact
And each of us are tailored to keep it intact
Eb and flow, ingest the breath your chest can pull
Then let it go, complete the routine scenes as they flash
Seeing each moment like beaches of action in pieces of sand
Rain meets the ocean to grow it, complete what it lacks
The present is a puzzle, life's a piece of a past
Predetermined meaning as it's seen on the map

I'll complete what my family calls me to do
Name's Time, I'm the oldest and the father of Truth
We finally felt alignment when her daughter was two
She called the child Balance, reasons obvious too
Could conjure flawless rings, which her thoughts would produce
Godly while it's utilized for solving what's ruined
But only when the danger seems to call for it's use, since
The blueprints pages gleam and now my thoughts are imbued
But now that I'm...
Conjuring the past to alter facts, the way we change the screen
Abuse my kid each usage, causes Truth to lay in agony
Eyes closed, her child, gripped in fear would leave -
Evade the scene
With Balance lost, gravity is ravaging -
A rage machine
The power packed within it's bending objects before quakes'll blossom
As the hours glass (was mine) would shake enough to break it's bottom
Contents seen, fall beneath it, endlessly, they aim to leave
I look ahead of me and see the way that's paved, a place to meet
Search and find the circle of all life that Balance gave to me
Hold the loop to fully scoop the contents I'm enslaved to keep
Alter Truth to calm the lack of Balance as she's laying weak
But grounded as her daughter caught her eye, her face is seen!
Glass is crafted then the sand is transferred from the space we needed
Now we stay, await another cycle to come alive in this crazy dream

Paytience
08-23-2022, 06:29 PM
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=4324

Concrete
08-23-2022, 07:38 PM
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=4324

Not sure if that was implying something but for what it's worth I enjoyed both verses. Good to see you still writing Nigma.

Adverse
08-24-2022, 02:24 PM
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=4324

Yeah I mean this has nothing to do with this verse. Just because his quoted text mentions a cave and the title mentions allegory doesn’t mean they have anything to do with each other.

I’d read this verse about three times and hadn’t had proper time to feed until now

This was a cool verse I’m sorry you didn’t get to drop it we moved on rather fast last week. Think this is a good topic but almost feel like it has too much going on in it, realistically there’s one central theme and that’s time. But there’s other ways you could have twisted it, you told a pretty safe story in my eyes topic wise. Was good but you didn’t really break the mold, rhyming was solid, progression was decent , and like I said I wish you could have dropped this and competed in more weeks because I think you’re dope. Glad I had the privilege of battling you though. You’re an awesome writer and though I feel like this piece maybe could have used some more fine tuning and maybe a final read through/edit would have benefited it but overall I was a fan of it

Paytience
08-25-2022, 12:11 AM
Yeah I mean this has nothing to do with this verse. Just because his quoted text mentions a cave and the title mentions allegory doesn’t mean they have anything to do with each other.

I’d read this verse about three times and hadn’t had proper time to feed until now

This was a cool verse I’m sorry you didn’t get to drop it we moved on rather fast last week. Think this is a good topic but almost feel like it has too much going on in it, realistically there’s one central theme and that’s time. But there’s other ways you could have twisted it, you told a pretty safe story in my eyes topic wise. Was good but you didn’t really break the mold, rhyming was solid, progression was decent , and like I said I wish you could have dropped this and competed in more weeks because I think you’re dope. Glad I had the privilege of battling you though. You’re an awesome writer and though I feel like this piece maybe could have used some more fine tuning and maybe a final read through/edit would have benefited it but overall I was a fan of it

You don't know what the "Allegory of the Cave" is, do you? Because these pieces are both conceptually the same thing. I was gonna point out that the technical writing is pretty good in this but that the concept has been done.

To quote:
'Life is like being chained up in a cave, forced to watch shadows flitting against a stone wall'

^^^That is from Plato's Allegory of the cave. You should check it out, even if it's just a summary...it's a good read.

"How to understand the sun by the shadows on the wall?"

Nigma
08-26-2022, 07:38 PM
You don't know what the "Allegory of the Cave" is, do you? Because these pieces are both conceptually the same thing. I was gonna point out that the technical writing is pretty good in this but that the concept has been done.

To quote:
'Life is like being chained up in a cave, forced to watch shadows flitting against a stone wall'

^^^That is from Plato's Allegory of the cave. You should check it out, even if it's just a summary...it's a good read.

"How to understand the sun by the shadows on the wall?"

I believe what he's alluding to is how nothing aside from the opening quote has anything whatsoever to do with Allegory of the Cave, so to say both verses are conceptually the same is the most retarded thing I've read in a very long time and I now feel stupider having read it. Thanks for reading one line and claiming overstanding of the verse you useless tit.

Everyone else, thank you, I appreciate ya taking the time to read this.

ACTIVATE SELF
10-26-2022, 12:10 AM
A highly conceptual and abstract piece of writing — somewhat a signature style of yours. I’d probably need to read this multiple times to fully grasp its totality beyond the poetic flare and anthropomorphic ambition. With that being said, I was thoroughly entertained with what I read and understood — both on a technical and contextual basis.

Pharaohs Army
02-25-2023, 02:38 PM
Uppp ---***for 2023 feed by Mon. or Tues.

nexxt.

Pharaohs Army
03-16-2023, 04:21 AM
Nigma

You are one of the best I've ever seen in the rhyme/flow/internals...fancy-yet-smooth "department".
I mean really impressive and top notch when it comes to that.
I guess the only slight knock would be:
Does that proficiency and focus "hamper meaning" a bit?...Here, it does, I think...BUT
1- that may be MORE the fact that it's abstract content/tone....perhaps the focus on technicality is not THE reason for "hampered meaning"....maybe it's purposefully abstract...It is, after all, an abstract picture you wrote to.
2-I mean this is enjoyable to read, even more to execute...guess it's just so abstract I was looking for something more tangible/linear....but hey, this piece could very well be you purposefully executing the opposite...

Good stuff man...
======================================
I'd like to see you step outside your comfort zone sometime, even if just a quickie....perhaps try something more concrete/ less nuanced/ more direct/ dare I say more "vapid" (purposefully)...with your technical abilities it could certainly be exceptional with the right tone/ideas....
NOT saying to quit abstract rhyme extravaganzas...those r very important...

Take care~

emcee squared
04-21-2023, 05:19 PM
up
non-pharaohs

emcee squared
05-15-2023, 06:00 PM
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