Week 8 - Pent uP vs. YDK - YDK WINS

[Mike Wrecka]

Memo week 8.
At the end it is the time to look back to the beginning. REFLECTION WEEK, you are required to write incorporating all or none of the last 7 weeks of general memo topics. To refresh your memory here they are in descending order beginning with the present week.
WK 8 - REFLECTION WEEK
WK 7 - CONTINUOUS TASK WEEK
WK 6 - IMITATION WEEK
WK 5 -CONSTRAINED WRITING TASK WEEK
WK 4 -LEGAL LATIN WEEK
WK 3- HYPOTHETICAL COLLABORATION WEEK
WK 2 -DIVERSITY WEEK
WK 1- DOUBLE LETTER WEEK
To reiterate, the task requires you to incorporate all or none of the preceding weekly tasks. What format, what number, what emphasis you place on specific weeks, all aspects are all up to you. I only encourage ambition, this is the final week so unshackle. In keeping with the consideration from week 4, you can if you wish include 2 sentences of explanation along with your submission to showcase or highlight your concepts. Good luck competitors. There are no specific tasks this week, just this weekly memo.


Good Luck Pent uP YDK

[Pent uP]

Word.

[YDK]

Sentence

[Pent uP]

Sending my verse to mike in two minutes.

I wrote it earlier but forgot after the gym

sent

[YDK]

Sorry for the delay had trouble gettin my daughter to sleep.

Unshackled an unchained,
opinions sacked, tackled, and mundane.
Keep your priorities fresh cuz even black'll get sun stained.
Its fun when we run (rain)
Eventually we get some pain,
Alone, wet, cold in the dark and THEN we're done...shame.
Never turning off just 'turnt up'
its never enough, fuck!
Till we're full of more garbage than a Monday morning dump truck.
I hate to be the face always rantin an raving
but look how we're behaving,
Edgar Poe's in his grave smiling like "never more/raven"
Girls gettin pregnant by the time that they're 12,
Gotta daycare center in middle school just look at ourselves!
Every viable option and we opt for the worse,
Then wonder why little kids ain't afraid of a hurse.
There ain't enough time to address all the issues,
So lets dress up the issues...
Ignore the propaganda and see that all the news is misused.
Darwin's theory must be wrong cuz the strong don't survive,
They simply multiply and die while weak (minded) stay alive.
I trust God to protect me ignoring natural selection,
Cuz I looked into the future and saw only MY reflection.

[Mike Wrecka]

posting for Pent uP



The Beggar

Fantasies measured in grams of his pleasure as he romances smoke nectar's.
In trances, he pesters and damages sectors with insanity gestures -
but his antics were treasured, giving amusement, he enhances the weather.
A performance aggressor when funds are low because this man is a beggar.

He started out in his house, telling jokes to his family.
Went to college, got kicked out, and this invoked his insanity.
Provoking him randomly gets you the best joke you've heard in your life -
Just so you're distracted while he turns to his knife and serves up a slice.
We call him Jokey, J Smoke and other names in the hood.
Shameless, he stood holding signs to get laced off some goods.
Signs read things like: "Steve Jobs died cuz he choked on an Apple.
He was Mackin Tush - his gay fashion turtleneck was a reversible asshole."
People stopped and laughed then dropped their cash in the cup of his profits;
As he runs through his options: get something to eat or get fucked up from coppin'.
Wanting those rocks and less dime throwers giving no money from pockets -
That's when jokes get cruel because he's low on fuel and to hungry to stop it.
Funny, obnoxious with gums full of toxins - where his dope would be hidden -
Not a hopeless existence, but he knew his stench makes him tell jokes from a distance.
The signs fixed the problem to give him this job without halitosis of death.
Desires to laugh frozen with noses open smelling the most ferocious of breaths.
Now shutting his mouth, he puts humorous topics on sides of 2 or 3 boxes;
Rotating his pitch makes him a grip and the box covers him spewing out toxins.

Jokey kicked it near campus of UC Berkeley where he could get the advantage
over kids and their parents who would get caught by the giggles he planted.
His newest name, Joke Box, was given and branded because his scripts were so candid -
Like.. "George Bush Sr. fucked a donkey and made a jackass president he commanded."
On the other sides of the box; collages of old George feeding his pickle
to various horses, donkey's and even his wife: the white beast who's a pistol.
Those parts are drawn in to keep'em in giggles until they pee out a little.
His political satire is intensely admired with the wet spots he sees through pant wrinkles.

Visitors and new students made his main revenue margins -
with old people begging for pardons as they keep stepping regardless.
This day was pressure for targets because of new competitive markets.
One being another comedian who was special - retarded.
His jokes were stupid, but molded cuteness as he told them with stutters
and even with that he remained a role of smoothness like he's coated in butter.
They still laughed at Joke Box, but he didn't get cash from most plots;
This Little Timmy wannabe with cerebral palsy will make him mad 'til he stops.
A savage unlocked when J Box gave him a Coke as an attack -
An elaborate smack because the bottle has a stash of bad crack.
Thinking that'll punch this prick and make him want to quit this profession -
but thoughts of allergies never crossed his past his dreams and it wasn't questioned.
With that suggested - of course when the guy is inhaling the pop
The baking soda laced is giving him shakes 'til he drops.
No investigation of cops because this is a war of the homeless -
So when deadly forces approach, drugs are the source that gets noted.
Jokey committed a homicide and killed the most honest of guys -
but because he's homeless, not paying taxes, he's acquitted by poverty lines.

[Mike Wrecka]

cool battle guys

ydk - seemed to take the direction and inspiration of the words unshackled and reflection and decided to make it the start and ending of his verse. the middle was basically a reflection on society and on oneself and reaction to it. the structure of the writing was simple. but not in a bad way. in a very appealing way. it would sound nice spoken aloud. some critiques, the rant on societies flaws have been overdone and this didnt break any new ground on the topic. you needed to dig deeper and be more specific. funnel your thoughts a bit more. and this was too short. good piece though.

pent up - ok another storytelling verse from you. it was a good story. an interesting story. your pretty good at writing the story arc, which some people miss the mark on. the writing was sound, no complaints there. i think the character you created was pretty creative. i liked the direction. it was just kinda anti climatic in some way. if you think of it this character you built up just meets another character that we are introduced to very briefly , we really dont know who he is much,that part lacked descriptiveness, and then slips him drugs and kills him. meh. maybe you got sick of writing. it fell flat for me.
and i dont really see how this related to the topic in any way. maybe the homeless man is a reflection of societies ills. or tolerance week because tolerate those that are homeless when we should really help them out more.

tough battle because the topic was so open ended. if this was a single topic week i would have voted against pent because tbh i feel like he ignored it, but those loopholes i listed above could all be his true meaning of this verse. and his writing was better and more developed as a whole so

vote - pent up

thanks for the reads guys

[Adonis]

Vote YD

Mike knows why, I explained the lack of participation will always have a impact on my voting. So no votes for a particular member means I refuse to read his verse's. YD, honestly not the greatest. I see you using simple schemes and not making a conscious effort to to be 'risky' as far as rhymes and word usage. I feel the content, in fact I can write a billion page stanza on just your verse alone, but that also makes it not the most original. I feel you played it safe by either playing it safe, or taking whatever concept comes to mind first.

Vote you!

If my vote is discounted that's fine, but I feel at some point I'll the hammer on people which is unpopular Mike Wrecka

at the same token, regardless if the 'final decision is yours' or not, I move forth un-apologetically word Pent uP

Dope verse bruhv - #real talk

[Certain]

Pent uP: This had nothing to do with the topic. I can't find it posted anywhere else, but it feels very much like a recycled verse. Yes, it was good, though it definitely could have been better. The rhymes were forced at times, and Jokey never seemed fully real because of a lack of details. But my overwhelming feeling is that nothing in the challenge was considered. This was just a good story that didn't even theme itself about reflection. In the vaguest sense, you could make the argument that it's about a reflection of society. But I'm not seeing it.

YDK: This verse was mostly OK. There weren't any standout sections, and a lot of it felt very cliche. The rhymes were fine but not standout. It didn't feel particularly thought out. But it did feel like it was written to the topic, about the topic. You were in a tough spot having not competed in this league before this week, so you took a different twist on the topic. That's more than I can say about Pent uP.

Vote: YDK