(track) Badweather- Trouble

[Badweather]

https://soundcloud.com/pathos-rain/trouble-prod-by-spooks-mcghie

produced by spooks mcghie...meh

[Badweather]

unfinished as far as the hook part goes

[Pent uP]

I dont mean to sound pretentious but

I would rewrite the second verse and possibly parts of the first.
The flow in the last stanza was awful with all the pausing and everything. It was a little bit more of a scatter thoughted verse as opposed to the first. Also the second couplet in the very first stanza felt out of place.

Overall I like the concept and a lot of the internal concepts but I feel you shouls use this as a first Draft more than anything. And fix the flow in a few spots

[Badweather]

I hear you

[Just C]

You got a nice easy on the ears voice for rap. you just need to either A) tighten up your delivery or B) go back to the bars you penned and make some minor adjustments to the syllable counts so you don't sound so rushed and as a result losing the impact in your words. presence is key.

[Badweather]

i truly appreciate the feed guys. you're both solidifying the doubts i originally had. good looks

[Wise Wiggles]

Dope

[Certain]

You're riding the beat too hard for your longer lines.

[Badweather]

You're riding the beat too hard for your longer lines.

i don't understand what you mean by that.

[Certain]

You're forcing yourself to play catch-up. Either just don't worry about hitting every snare, or shorten your lines so that you don't have to try to rush into them.