R!canTheoryz vs UNFUKWITABLE - UNFUCKWITABLE WINS

[Orc]

NBL
Netcees Text Battle League



Rules

Due Dates:

Verses are due FRIDAY, votes are due SUNDAY
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are at the mercy of your opponent



Line Limit:

Min. = 10 lines
Max. = 16 lines
[I]The max. can be higher if different is agreed upon by both.



Voting:

Must vote on 4 battles and POST your links in YOUR THREAD
You will LOSE if you don't post all 4 voting links.
You will not like the punishment, so just vote.



General Rules:

1st person to post can't edit after the 2nd person posts.
2nd person to post can't edit after a vote has been made.
Feeding = DQ.
Recycling = DQ.
Biting = DQ.
No freeposting, swaying or bitching.
Unless a picture battle is agreed upon,
linking to your opponent's picture or posting it
means you will disqualified.
A check in isn't mandatory, but it is encouraged.
If your opponent doesn't check in,
you still have to post a verse.
Competitors should agree on a line limit in their check in.
If no line limit is agreed on, then the 2nd person to post
must match the 1st person's line amount.


R!canTheoryz UNFUKWITABLE

[Unfukwitable]

Check .

[R!canTheoryz]

Checking In pics? UNFUKWITABLE

[Unfukwitable]

no pic, Just bars .

link 1 : http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=20132
link 2 : http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=20138
link 3 : http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=20140
link 4 : http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=20134

[R!canTheoryz]

@unfuckwitable
Wanna drop tonight? Cuz imma just key this bitch up.

[Unfukwitable]

who thinks the verbal threats in his disses is amazing?
Ri actions couldn't be ground breaking- if the hulks fists is in the pavement
Ric been rhyme'n since 08 (http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/member.php?u=35057) & he still can't acquire new raps? ouch!
guess you'll only be out-standing when I give you flyers to pass out
these harsh statements'll expose what your fallacies appear to be
while the punches leave Theoryz spaced out like galaxy conspiracy's
& being obsessed with pic battles got this vato ignored quick
beat me? you couldn't even stomach sharp (http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?p=78727)- doing the swallowing sword trick
you entered a homo thread.. somethin a straight man never would do
then re-posted WhysWays (http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?p=146171#post146171)? I guess you needed someone to measure up to!
you thought you was gonna get off easy, But ima flawless contender
stop me? you're barking up the wrong tree- like a dog with dementia

[R!canTheoryz]

UNFUKWITABLE I'm droppin now

[R!canTheoryz]

You'll duck once I spark the heat geek, this week i feel is a wrong freebie,
Cuz If Ur punches have to EXplain them selfs it'll look worser than u at night listening to drake album on repeat.
Ur a fag dont like gettin laid i suggest u clean up & take it Easy on the broom,
Ironic Ur name has 'fuck' in the middle & that's the least thing u attempt when there's pussy in the room.
It's Odd See, the way u denied our pic battle is gonna cost B,
Cuz the fact ur ugly n bossy makes me think u got the type of mug that only retired veterans carry with like two drops of dry coffee.
Wrinkled faggot. Stop acting like u can compete with vets,
U have this obsession with breaking bad so much I'm starting to question your close relationship with Meth.
Peep the predictions we all know who's better, I'm spittin personals that are clever,
Cuz When it comes to you winning voters know it'll be a strikt process meaning you'll actually be waitin forever.

[Diode]

v/ rican

METH LINE LOL'D

strik line lol'd

[DLB]

these harsh statements'll expose what your fallacies appear to be
while the punches leave Theoryz spaced out like galaxy conspiracy's

vs.

nothing

v - unfukwitable

real talk, rican's verse is still stretched as fuck and he's a vet. that's fucking horrible and unfukwitable's only quotable wasn't really that quotable tbh, just the best bar out of the whole match. this match had the potential of a boxing match betweeen 2 2 yr olds. seriously, this battle might bring NBL Jr. back. u guys need to step the fuck up

[R!canTheoryz]

Thanks faggot ^

Link 1
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=20140

Link 2
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=20144

Link 3
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=20146

[Cashius]

I thought unfuckwitable won. Wording was better and I thought the concepts were a bit more direct. Rican, your verse might of hit better with more succinct wording. In general enjoyed the other guys verse more.

Unfuckwitable.

[Trag.]

I got Unfuckwitable on this. Rican had some ok ideas, but th elines were so long to get into it took away from me, personally.


unfukwitable.

[Destroyer]

flyers (lol)
vs
nada

seriously rican, go back to a ghostwriter
the coffee mug one was almost ok but your wording slaughtered it

v/unfukwitable

[Dominate]

who thinks the verbal threats in his disses is amazing?
Ri actions couldn't be ground breaking- if the hulks fists is in the pavement
the reactions np is suuuupper played on him. You wouldn't know, being new... but yeah, this did nothing for me. It's a steep learning curve figuring out what's played and what's not when u first start... but you'll learn the hard way... a good rule of thumb though- if you're battling a guy who's been around a while, and the nameplay you think of is kinda obvious, then it'll be played. Ground breaking wp was better but still generic/played.
Ric been rhyme'n since 08 (http://www.rapworlds.com/forums/member.php?u=35057) & he still can't acquire new raps? ouch!
guess you'll only be out-standing when I give you flyers to pass out
outstanding wp is old. And why would u be giving him flyers? need to link to something in the set up
these harsh statements'll expose what your fallacies appear to be
while the punches leave Theoryz spaced out like galaxy conspiracy's
this was your best line. I've seen/used spaced out wp before but still your best attempt
& being obsessed with pic battles got this vato ignored quick
beat me? you couldn't even stomach sharp (http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?p=78727)- doing the swallowing sword trick
OK personal. Don't use links. No-one's clicking em. Just state that he lost in your set up
you entered a homo thread.. somethin a straight man never would do
then re-posted WhysWays (http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?p=146171#post146171)? I guess you needed someone to measure up to!
no
you thought you was gonna get off easy, But ima flawless contender
stop me? you're barking up the wrong tree- like a dog with dementia
corny

Suggest you read verses from vets- see how their wp/np's are not obvious and generic. Also how they word their lines to be more harsh.



You'll duck once I spark the heat geek, this week i feel is a wrong freebie,
Cuz If Ur punches have to EXplain them selfs it'll look worser than u at night listening to drake album on repeat.
nah
Ur a fag dont like gettin laid i suggest u clean up & take it Easy on the broom,
Ironic Ur name has 'fuck' in the middle & that's the least thing u attempt when there's pussy in the room.
cool... obvious but it was an OK punch
It's Odd See, the way u denied our pic battle is gonna cost B,
Cuz the fact ur ugly n bossy makes me think u got the type of mug that only retired veterans carry with like two drops of dry coffee.
wording is awful but concept is OKish.... wp's not fresh but with the personal it's alright
Wrinkled faggot. Stop acting like u can compete with vets,
U have this obsession with breaking bad so much I'm starting to question your close relationship with Meth.
decent... would've been better with a set up linking him and meths relationship
Peep the predictions we all know who's better, I'm spittin personals that are clever,
Cuz When it comes to you winning voters know it'll be a strikt process meaning you'll actually be waitin forever.
OK idea, could've been worded better

Is English your first language? "look worser", "least thing u attempt" ....
You would be much better if you could get some sense of rhythm happening. Generally, your second line is just way too long...


U both have a long way to go.... enjoyed unfuckwithable's more though.


v/ Un

[Sn00p]

so un had links in his verse, which is a no-no. it's just such a lazy way of wording. just reference that shit in ur setup. riactions has been done. same as outstanding. theories spaced out feels kinda familiar, but i'll let it slide. best line so far. stomach sharp coulda been pretty dope. again: just say he lost to him in ur setup. that's what the setup's meant for anyways. so yea. wording was lacking, but concept was nice. whysways i didn't like. again, no links. closer was ... eh. idk, the concept was there, but it was so forced and didn't hit because of that. u got some ideas tho. keep at it and the wording will come, which is all u really need.
rican has waaaay too long lines. what u should do is write down the line, try & word it, and then go thru it and delete every. single. word. that's not absolutely needed. makes ya shit much more concise. so yea, opener was a kinda dece concept, but didn't have any impact cuz the punchline was too long. 2nd line was just way too obv. u basically said, 'u have fuck in ur name, but u don't do it'. i've seen u be way more creative than that, so i know u can do better. next line was loooooong. i forgot what it was about when i got to the end. forreal tho, id even k what u're tryna say. reread ur lines. cut words. then read again. and then cut again. this is really ur main problem. next line was decent. wasn't to the point tho. like, what's the diss in there? try and think about what ur concept is and then relate everything in ur bar to that concept. cut the rest. closer was a dece idea, but the wording was all over the place again. that coulda been 'voting for u is a strikt process...it takes forever' or something like that. not saying that's a good flip, but it gets the whole point across with half the words.
sooo. i got un. he had the best line of the battle. stomach sharp was kinda decent too. rican was way too wordy here. made all of his lines fall flat. which is a shame, since he had some decent ideas. but yea. i got un here.
v/unfuk