Week 2 - Vividlyvague (1-0) vs. YDK (1-0) - VIVIDLYVAGUE WINS 6-1

[Mike Wrecka]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png
Season 2

Rules

Verse Due Date - Thursday 23:59 PST

Voting Deadline - Sunday 23:59 PST

Line Limits - 16 - 48 Max can be higher if both agree

Voting - Must vote on 3 battles and post voting links in this thread , preferably edit it in the check in

If you don't vote on 3 battle you will be given a loss
If you lose by votes and don't vote on other battles you receive a one week suspension


Topic

I love me some me - Terrell Owens




Good Luck Vividlyvague YDK

[e11even]

And so it began... the upward spiral, inverted, introverted...
The wholesome wholesale... this worth was merchant, purchased...
ugly duckling suckling... with a father urging purpose,
...membership to the virgin surplus....
the stirring herds of currs cursed us, as we were yet uninvited,
legs like that of a good shepard's attention- undivided.

My smile skewed, a denial misconstrued, all the while, nil was news.
the Brady wiles of a child in censored group, was as a rented suit-
For the eventual parental coup would bear relentless fruit...

meanwhile--Up for trial... the spilled abused, the pill misused, the ill get views...
fucking sickening... the mills that mill the wills of shrews...
the eels that feign the couth in deals for the peels of youth.
this feel was surreal, as I appealed, revealed in proof.
the suburban safe haven in tame statement syndicated's what congealed in you.
But still... what did you continually do?!

those damned predictions in diction undignified solidified for reels anew.
stereotypes with typos, imperfection radiated, reflected my field of view.
an adolescent past in path with a passion not real, but wat was... was too ewww to chew.
giving birth to oneself in a reality not built for you...

but this new me was conjured for this.
for this was a fortunate forfeit of fore tense,
This boar's lips spoke of bored trips aborted by being boarded...
parties where the assorted, unsorted, snort shit...

this star's life now more a supernova of whorish chorus...
oh daddy, why cry??? u swore this was more 'in' for poor kids!!!
So, for the sake of your torment,
i'll take more sips of engorged stick for endorsements...

Pole dancing on your cracking conscience while I mock a generation of ratchet nonsense...
Grimey, in a sense that the only fucking plaques I'm stockin
Are the now-odorless solidified caked stacks of vomit
on your profound, "I wanna be a better daddy..." comments!

Save it... because even when i plotted on marriage,
Sabotaging the fabric of what you called merit
Did everything but leave ME embarrassed.

And I bet when the bell tolls, your dumbass would miss the drumroll...

Well here it goes... The world and its worldly woes have accepted me so.
The way opposite of apostles and prophets is what makes me so...
The days of nothingless are nothing since I've made the oath,
That all opposing my prospering are profitless til I make it, so...

Now the cameras and lights are aimed and the curtain beckons...
I study the hurt in the mirror to make it work for the purpose erected...
Contorted and disfigured, this deformed expression projected...
As I strut onto the stage to my most recent chanted reception:

"Twerk, Miley, Miley Twerk..." I am the shit. Thanks Dad for your faith and direction.

[YDK]

Sittin alone contemplating in my 2 bedroom apartment,
Heart hardened, unrequited love got me feeling retarded.
Its such a conundrum I need ta stop starting,
I've been played so much that I need to start charging!
I mean, I know, i might scream an choke a bitch
But, if it wasn't for these hoes I wouldn't be broke as shit.
Na really I accept the fact I neglected care/support
Especially for the time I got you kicked out the airport.
That was a such a cold night, just standing in the rain,
Cuz I left you abandoned, without money or a plane.
I should have let you know or atleast sent a text,
But I was busy drinkin tryna hook up with my ex.
I love me some me an I hate all of you,
Karma is a bitch that hit me with a ball of truth.
While I was out fuckin a bitch; to get a ride home she was suckin a dick,
My mistake made her do it but I still called her a trick.
I guess she must have split and I know it caused her sorrow,
Cuz she said "you can call me wat you want just don't call me tomorrow."
Damn.

Reflecting back on how I didn't regret my actions, wow,
Never would have thought cheating would have such little satisfaction now.
I had never been loved like that before,
Never once felt important or that i was THAT adored.
I've never been on the opposite end of the unrequited side,
Until I broke your heart an made me feel like shit inside.
I blame my past, all my lame ex's and whores,
For taking away my innocence the same way I took yours.
With the hatred an betrayal I felt I slowly forgot the truth,
I thought I deserved better; that's why I got with you.
You were supposed to make me better baby girl its my fault,
I put too much on you shoulders and made you cry (salt)
Its all a cruel circle,
one person gets hurt and we all fall in line,
I just wish that you hadn't ever had to fall in mine.
I never intended to hurt you or have "bad" in mind,
Other than when I saw you an thought "damn she's fine!"
I guess this is my way of apologizing for how I acted before,
Sprinkling subtle compliments on a subject that's sore.
I'll end it by saying I love myself more than those whores ever did,
But my respect for you is enormous for putting up with my shit.

I hope there's a place for us in the future that I can reserve.
Where I don't need to love myself; more than YOU deserve.

[Scripter]

I enjoyed reading both pieces very much!

Vividlyvague - You continue to impress me! You started out talking about self love through abstinence, I liked this approach. It gave an idea of what type of self love you were trying to describe. Your word play and use of multies were also impeccable.

"And so it began... the upward spiral, inverted, introverted...
The wholesome wholesale... this worth was merchant, purchased...
ugly duckling suckling... with a father urging purpose,
...membership to the virgin surplus....
the stirring herds of currs cursed us, as we were yet uninvited,
legs like that of a good shepard's attention- undivided."

I like how you changes the feel and direction in the next part negating the verse before it. Great set up!

"My smile skewed, a denial misconstrued, all the while, nil was news.
the Brady wiles of a child in censored group, was as a rented suit-
For the eventual parental coup would bear relentless fruit..."

You seemed to capture the subject in this piece well. I enjoyed reading it!


YDK - I really liked your piece! You had a great opening bar, that I felt did a great job of setting the mood. It gave an impression of a lack of love for ones self. I felt this was a great approach, since when you are in love it becomes harder to see the lack of love for yourself. Some times we let the we love walk all over us.

"Sittin alone contemplating in my 2 bedroom apartment,
Heart hardened, unrequited love got me feeling retarded.
Its such a conundrum I need ta stop starting,
I've been played so much that I need to start charging!"

I believe this part helps to put things together in a understanding that when people get hurt they hurt others and them selves. They show love for them selves by not letting anyone hurt them ever again.

"Its all a cruel circle,
one person gets hurt and we all fall in line,
I just wish that you hadn't ever had to fall in mine.
I never intended to hurt you or have "bad" in mind,
Other than when I saw you an thought "damn she's fine!"
I guess this is my way of apologizing for how I acted before,
Sprinkling subtle compliments on a subject that's sore.
I'll end it by saying I love myself more than those whores ever did,
But my respect for you is enormous for putting up with my shit."

I believe both pieces were excellent! Although I believe Vividlyvague did a better job of exploring the subject as far as displaying different perspectives of what self love is.

Vote - Vividlyvague

[Zen]

Vague- I loved the wording that you used in this except for a few instances but the main one that stood out to me was the 'to eww to chew' line. It just seems with all of these 'big words' floating around this piece that it seemed a little awkward imo. Besides those few hiccups I don't really see any problems. The flow was top notch as was the content. Good job.
YDK- If I gotta be honest with you, I didn't really enjoy this too much. Last week you brought it but this weak this just felt a little weak to me. Don't get me wrong the content and the way you took especially considering the topic, but it just didn't hit the way I thought it would after what I considered to be a strong showing from you last week.

V/ vividlyvague

[Mr. J]

damn this was a great battle, both of you came correct
and both of you brought a great aspect to the quote for the week
I'm digging the vibe both brought along with their pieces

Vivid-You did an amazing job, you seemed to pick up a lot of ideas since starting
your writing mechanics really shine through and show some progress
you did very acceptional as far as multi's go and the flow of your piece
it never seemed to let up

YDK-You also did an amazing job, you incorporated a different aspect
which makes the battle seem more worthwhile, the flow of the piece was nice
and your style compliments the quote to a certain degree..although..
i do know you had some trouble coming up with the piece beforehand
it seems like you knew what to go for...

As far as my vote go, it's a tough decision, both of you came correct
you attacked the subject like any writer could and...added personal flare
when it comes down to it, it's not about who did the quote the best...
it's based on who wrote it to their personal style, it's what seperates us
both pieces are unique because of that, and have had quite the effect
personally I feel vivid has wow'd me this week...so my vote goes to him
v/Vivid

[Just Write]

as stated before this was a great battle, really enjoyed both pieces

My smile skewed, a denial misconstrued, all the while, nil was news.
the Brady wiles of a child in censored group, was as a rented suit-
For the eventual parental coup would bear relentless fruit...

meanwhile--Up for trial... the spilled abused, the pill misused, the ill get views...
fucking sickening... the mills that mill the wills of shrews...
the eels that feign the couth in deals for the peels of youth.
this feel was surreal, as I appealed, revealed in proof.
the suburban safe haven in tame statement syndicated's what congealed in you.
But still... what did you continually do?!


vivid, haven't read much from you, being gone for awhile and all but I was impressed. flow was obviously on point, vocab was above par and you had some really dope concepts. my only thing is I think in some parts you sacrifices a more clear though for flow and vise versa. in a few places It came almost a chore to read and the same rhyme scheme became a bit monotonous, still all in all I enjoyed your take on the topic and your execution


YDK, sup man haven't read anything from you in a bit either. well I enjoyed your piece it definitely kept me entertained, I just don't really see the connection with your verse and the topic too much. I mean I know what you were shooting for but in a topical battle playing to the topic is key


Reflecting back on how I didn't regret my actions, wow,
Never would have thought cheating would have such little satisfaction now.
I had never been loved like that before,
Never once felt important or that i was THAT adored.
I've never been on the opposite end of the unrequited side,
Until I broke your heart an made me feel like shit inside.


I blame my past, all my lame ex's and whores,
For taking away my innocence the same way I took yours.

^^^this line was clutch


ok so i'm going to go with who bored me the least, not saying either piece was bad because it's really quite the opposite but I felt like I just enjoyed YDK's verse more and was more into it, so MVGT=YDK

good battle guys

[NYCSPITZ]

YDK you brought a straightforward story with some cool lines but overall it was a bit bland to me. I know you can do better to be honest and some of the multies seemed a bit forced like when you did the (salt) thing. VV came with smoother flow, better multies and more creativity imo. I got him easy this time, thanks for writing guys.

V/ vividly vague.

[e11even]

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=169582#post169582
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=21771
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=21762&page=2

[King Ra.]

Both of you did a great job here with this topic and I feel this was very close & difficult to pick who I believe gets my vote.

Vivid, a very intelligent, captivating piece in which you really put some good emphasis on points throughout with some solid lines that made this stand out. For some reason the ending, as plain as it is kinda made me think a little in relation to the entire piece, but that's what I would call that icing on the cake (not necessarily the cherry on top). While you put together some good lines, for me there were some hiccups in the presentation of some areas where I had to go back & read to catch the flow. This occurred mainly in the beginning, I found myself stumbling before picking up. The style is pretty fresh but I guess it could be cleaner.

YDK, you went more on the "safe" route concept wise in what reads simply as a letter to someone (but actually comes even as directed to someone but personally for you) on some self realization level, and while this is something that can easily be done by anyone in writing, I actually liked the way your piece came out from the beginning to end. It flowed very well and I felt it is much cleaner than Vivid's piece. Now there are some issues. You managed to have a few lines that were really cool but then there were some of those basic turn-offs- those lines where some creativity would really had helped bring this out more. You had a couple of those so in comparison to your opponents work it does work against you. Aside from that, I understood your approach to the topic more, despite the simplicity of it compared to Vivid, though his execution conceptually was more complex.



As I mentioned before this one was hard for me because you both did better than the other in different areas and had about the same hiccups as well. I feel both of you tackled this topic very well. This is really based on preference for me- I feel YDK took that safer route here & my first instinct after the first read through was YDK- but looking at everything more in-depth, I'm gonna have to give this one to Vivid, for the more creative approach and execution, just barely.


MVGT: Vivid. Good job by both competitors.

[Vulgar]

Vividlyvague - Never read anything by you before, this was a frenetically attentive piece. You gained a lot of momentum with your style of constantly peppering with wordplay, and the humorous Miley Cyrus approach didn't hurt. I refuse to watch her performance but I've seen the pictures popping up on random search engines. You seem like you are a natural with the flow. Nice work.

YDK - Good verse man, I enjoy reading these honest takes on themes. It was hot and cold in the beginning but towards the end you didn't get winded and made a successful outro with that last bar: good stuff.

My vote goes to Vivid.