Boredom (1-1) vs. Jo E. Murder (1-1) BOREDOM WINS

[Boredom]

4 bars/8 lines
Due: ASAP
House Rle

[Boredom]

easy.

fuck the chit chat, i heard a slut say that i am not raw
rofl...that came straight from a horses mouth..so i broke ur moms jaw
i'm the illest so i'm coppin the dub w/ out a fuckin doubt
faggot if ur up to snuff it's cause i used a snub nose to snuff u out
ur into some weird shit,strap ons n girls clothes, ya heads fucked
fucking faggot.i can gaurentee ur lines aren't the only thing u dress up
i'll send this lame to the spirit world w/ out snappin ur neck
fuck a seyance i'll unload a clip in ghost to make him astral project

[Jo E. Murder]

Expos:
- Hes from big bad Vancouver, where he acclaims where actual murder resides. (Just wanna put that out there with a picture)

"Big Bad Vancouver"
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/96/Vancouver_photo_montage.jpg/322px-Vancouver_photo_montage.jpg

P.S.
Fuck this Canadien, infact fuck Canada. Aight. Fuck them....


Bore couldnt withstand the martyr! If anythings good, its like a Walmart cashier... he's "scannin' bars quick!" [/EZ.]
So how hes even hot as Joe? Im giving "Bo's a shocking flow..." without ensuring the "staff that Gambit charges!"

We wouldn't applaud him for his boring or awful writin'! Fuck a MacMillan: I'll tell you Boredom is "not excitement!"
The rook's so rubbish! "Jay-Z's promotion failure" - the way "he couldnt push Jo buttons" - so how he raw at liners?

(Look below: See that quote)

My streets get poppin w/ hoes, when my house bumpin' music, true facts
[^ Terrible setup btw.]

I've coffin contenders! Cool story, so if someone barge in with weapons, what? You'd play a song when he enters?
I think the true facts is his music more hard-core than him, and when it comes to explicit... its CONTENT'S OFFENSIVE! :eek:

#YoureWelcomed

I'll pop lead from the pistol! The way it's "shreddin' through tissue" - you'd be thinking it was "interrupted sneezes!"
He'd buck a heater to bruise a brotha? NAH! - Because "Boredom's doing nothing" - WHAT A "DOUBLE MEANING!"

[Sharp]

Boredom

lol'd at opener
dress up lines was lotb


Joe
nothing really
(Also, Canadian*)

your punches weren't very strong. what made sense was corny. the formatting was pointless and unnecessary. take a break and read some battles, get a sense of how to construct a good nameflip, which your best attempts were based on and keep working.

V/ Boredom

[Fart]

fuck the chit chat, i heard a slut say that i am not raw
rofl...that came straight from a horses mouth..so i broke ur moms jaw
ur into some weird shit,strap ons n girls clothes, ya heads fucked
fucking faggot.i can gaurentee ur lines aren't the only thing u dress up

vs

The rook's so rubbish! "Jay-Z's promotion failure" - the way "he couldnt push Jo buttons" - so how he raw at liners?

Joe's verse was like 16 lines imo. Way too stretched, that even if the concept was delivered..it was too far apart to connect with all the extra wording. Basically making each line two lines. And the quotes/pics doesnt help either. Boredom just appealed more to my preference in text battles here. Set ups and punches. The dress up personal was LotB to me loool @ that line. V/Boredom

[Jo E. Murder]

Boredom

lol'd at opener
dress up lines was lotb


Joe
nothing really
(Also, Canadian*)

your punches weren't very strong. what made sense was corny. the formatting was pointless and unnecessary. take a break and read some battles, get a sense of how to construct a good nameflip, which your best attempts were based on and keep working.

V/ Boredom

HAHA... thats real funny. Smh
HOF votes of the year. Lmao...

[bleak]

A wise man once said that text battles are more like ice skating competitions rather than basketball games. The winner is decided by the preference of the voter. So when you come to a shortbar site with longbar, you're not going to get many votes. Everyone sees your verses as bad, even if they're good. Which they're not btw. You use so many words that it takes too long for the concepts to touch base, which severely decreases the impact of the punch. If you were really good at longbar, I would see more votes going your way. But considering that you have little knowledge on how to craft a battle verse, let alone deliver a punch really hurts your chances of winning any battles here. This site, the people that settle here, are all about concise wording and effective delivery. The style that you have brought here absolutely goes against both qualities in every way. You know how to rhyme, cool. Your multis aren't bad. However, we do not vote based on your multis. I, at least, vote on whether or not your punches are relevant and direct. Yours are not.

You don't have to count this, but

v/Boredom

[Boredom]

Sup fag @Joe E. Murder

Aha, uppin ko

[Sharp]

aight homebrew. complete breakdown at your request. And for the record I have no bias for or against longbar, I prefer to write in shorter bars but whatever you feel like is your voice is your voice. More power to you.

easy.

fuck the chit chat, i heard a slut say that i am not raw
rofl...that came straight from a horses mouth..so i broke ur moms jaw
lol'd. Simple but effective
i'm the illest so i'm coppin the dub w/ out a fuckin doubt
faggot if ur up to snuff it's cause i used a snub nose to snuff u out
Didn't really hit for me
ur into some weird shit,strap ons n girls clothes, ya heads fucked
fucking faggot.i can gaurentee ur lines aren't the only thing u dress up
Effective personal, LOTB easily
i'll send this lame to the spirit world w/ out snappin ur neck
fuck a seyance i'll unload a clip in ghost to make him astral project
Okay nameflip


Expos:
- Hes from big bad Vancouver, where he acclaims where actual murder resides. (Just wanna put that out there with a picture)
idgaf
"Big Bad Vancouver"
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/96/Vancouver_photo_montage.jpg/322px-Vancouver_photo_montage.jpg
Unnecesary
P.S.
Fuck this Canadien, infact fuck Canada. Aight. Fuck them....
Canada's cool tho

Bore couldnt withstand the martyr! If anythings good, its like a Walmart cashier... he's "scannin' bars quick!" [/EZ.]
There's an attempt at wordplay. Not really a punch though.
So how hes even hot as Joe? Im giving "Bo's a shocking flow..." without ensuring the "staff that Gambit charges!"
Rhyme's a little weak, has to be enunciated correctly tow work. But this is more building yourself up than actually being a punch
We wouldn't applaud him for his boring or awful writin'! Fuck a MacMillan: I'll tell you Boredom is "not excitement!"
Incredibly basic nameplay. Didn't really hit very well considering that's literally what the noun boredom is, could've been related to the guy for some effect, but that angle's going to seem played as fuck 99% of the time
The rook's so rubbish! "Jay-Z's promotion failure" - the way "he couldnt push Jo buttons" - so how he raw at liners?
Okay concept, but its a flip based off your own name that doesn't relate to him specifically. Unless you can actually do that it's not going to be to effective as a self-name flip
(Look below: See that quote)


[^ Terrible setup btw.]

I've coffin contenders! Cool story, so if someone barge in with weapons, what? You'd play a song when he enters?
I think the true facts is his music more hard-core than him, and when it comes to explicit... its CONTENT'S OFFENSIVE! :eek:
Another okay concept, but it could've been utilized a lot better for effect
#YoureWelcomed

I'll pop lead from the pistol! The way it's "shreddin' through tissue" - you'd be thinking it was "interrupted sneezes!"
not bad for until tissue, after that it was all downhill. the eventual punch was just kind of awkward
He'd buck a heater to bruise a brotha? NAH! - Because "Boredom's doing nothing" - WHAT A "DOUBLE MEANING!"
That's not what boredom means. Probably was your best nameflip concept, but wasn't executed very well


V/ Boredom. two quotes to none. Jo had a few concepts that just didn't get off the ground, nothing that matched boredom's dressup line


If that doesn't work for you, by all means discount my vote.

[Fart]

Sharp Nine bleak
Forgot to poll vote ;)

[Sharp]

bleak, you so crazy