Teenage girl blossoming into beautiful object

[Objective]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/teenage-girl-blossoming-into-beautiful-object,31061/?ref=auto

[Split]

Watch the one where they teach the gorilla it will eventually die

[bleak]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ar15-assault-rifle-beginning-to-worry-it-may-never,31080/

also good