View Full Version : Escape The Pain
Sho Money EMG
10-07-2013, 06:03 PM
.... Everyday, I struggle thinking theirs a better place
In any way I'ma fight to see a better day
.... I'm stuck in a state of mind that theirs gotta b more
In this life... Its like what's the point of being confident for
.... Compliments, sure...Are nice to get but what's the price of it
My time is spent..& the cost for the life u live.. is typa big
.... & ur forced to pay.. They feed u all these taxes & shit
To give a bunch of cash to some pricks who aren't even actually sick
I laugh at this shit,
.... but know... It's fuckin what the government does
Just gives me another reason not to believe in what's rly under their rug
.... This emptyness inside is what helps me see a side
That I never seemed to ever see w/ my eyes, i was yes indeed, surprised...
.... A pleasant treat.. U might think.. Or maybe righteous
To enlighten for no prices.. But if U get a hold - than get a tight grip
.... Till again I'm lifeless... Because the misery never really go's away
So death is ur only escape... Or a phony smile.. that's what most wld say
Just Write
10-07-2013, 11:11 PM
I really like this minus the half slepped word throughout, that was kinda annoying. but i did dig the message, flow was a bit choppy towards the end at first read but smoothed out after i read it a couple times. really dug these lines
.... I'm stuck in a state of mind that theirs gotta b more
In this life... Its like what's the point of being confident for
.... Compliments, sure...Are nice to get but what's the price of it
My time is spent..& the cost for the life u live.. is typa big
think you should have put kinda big as apposed to typa big, doesnt really make sense but thats just minor shit bro. stay up
beegee
10-08-2013, 02:55 PM
it took me a while to really find your flow
but when I did it kinda came out perfect
To give a bunch of cash to some pricks who aren't even actually sick
I laugh at this shit,
.... but know... It's fuckin what the government does
Just gives me another reason not to believe in what's rly under their rug
dope shit.
Could use some polishing to make it an easier read.
def feelin the piece tho...
Sho Money EMG
10-08-2013, 08:42 PM
Thanks fellas appreciate the feed.
cliched. but decent.
write about how you really feel instead of trying to capture what you think people do -- seemed like what you did. be more authentic, & personal... not personable.
Sho Money EMG
10-09-2013, 12:51 AM
Thanks man
Scripter
10-09-2013, 09:57 AM
I thought you had decent flow, rhyme scheme and you had a decent message.
This was my favorite part because it is controversial. Although I think you could of done a little more research on the subject. This would allowed you to expand a little more on your thoughts, and even helped you find new ideas.
"My time is spent..& the cost for the life u live.. is typa big
.... & ur forced to pay.. They feed u all these taxes & shit
To give a bunch of cash to some pricks who aren't even actually sick
I laugh at this shit,
.... but know... It's fuckin what the government does
Just gives me another reason not to believe in what's rly under their rug"
I just think it would be a little naive to negate the huge gape between the rich and the poor, and truly believe your taxes are paying for lazy people. Next stop Hoover-ville but that's just my opinion, dam keep writing!
Sho Money EMG
10-09-2013, 09:21 PM
Lol thnx bruh
Dope girl
10-09-2013, 09:25 PM
This was very good, you had some nice multis.
Sho Money EMG
10-09-2013, 10:15 PM
Ty
CopyPat
10-12-2013, 06:28 PM
i liked the idea of this.. yeah its been down before lots obviously but its true so hard to knock someone for speaking truth. had some good rhyming, good flow. good vocab, good everything really man. it was good but it wasn't great, there wasn't enough for me lyrically to me like amazed with it.. im talking more of the actual skill of rapping, like using multi syllables and scheming etc. u have a good grasp on it obviously..and this looks like it would make a good idea which i give u props for but would be dope to see u do more lyrically next time with something like this. stay up
Sho Money EMG
10-12-2013, 11:37 PM
Thanks brotha, appreciate it
This actually wasn't that bad. It was nothing over the top in terms of word usage and content but it kept me entertained. The flow was pretty good as well. Stay up.
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