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View Full Version : Week 5 Title Match - Certain (4-0) vs. Mr. J (3-1) - MR. J WINS 7-1


Mike Wrecka
10-21-2013, 11:10 AM
http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png
Season 2

Rules

Verse Due Date - Thursday 23:59 PST

Voting Deadline - Sunday 23:59 PST

Line Limits - 16 - 48 Max can be higher if both agree

Voting - Must vote on 3 battles and post voting links in this thread, preferably all in one post.

If you don't vote on 3 battle you will be given a loss. If you lose by votes and don't vote on other battles you receive a one week suspension.


Topic

http://i.imgur.com/RxITynM.jpg






Good Luck Certain Mr. J

Mr. J
10-25-2013, 07:17 PM
It's been several days lost in my own thought process
I think of...lost concepts, hoping one would draw progress
screams of the mind, echo from ear to ear in silence
the depth alone could hold bodies, cities, lost to defiance
what sinks in is what held enough weight to bury me
care free isn't the idea I hold due to this reoccurring..scary dream
a rarity, diamond in the rough, my curse alone is hope
life the beach who wears it down enough to blow my toast
a message in a bottle that traveled farther than I
where the unknown circles below, making it harder to cry
lost beyond the black keys...looking for reinvention
or some kind of line that would catch or hook some attention
I'm looking defenseless, it looks like I blew it with that note
a melancholy song strung along, consuming my throat
there's too much of this surrounding me to get me free
to get me...free...I fear the end is closing in eventually
Circulating.. the blood that I put into this
Predators I created, in my own influence
the pressure is on to stop...or continue on and lose it
salt to the wound...it's all too soon
what I drink is polluted to the point it could poison me
everywhere I look makes me drift further away, joyous dreams...
something that's void to me, I can't help but feel trapped
the sky used to carry my imagination that feelings peeled back
it's been several days, I can tell you the truth I no longer feel that
grasping onto literature for days, screaming out spiritual praise
hoping something would flow out and fulfill my day...
something to grasp onto and help me feel safe, secure
I could fall deeper into the situation and embrace the pure..
the...safest cure when life seems to slowly fade away
but I'm planted here and to be honest it didn't change today
I'm still the same lost, insecure branch of society
floating in the vast ocean realizing today is the last time I breathe
I need to let go...because no one could find me in this threshold
I need to let go...it's been several days and no one knows I left home
I guess I should have been more respectful
A little more guided then I have been
Strange how death makes us reflect...
In-depth...the mirror has stolen my breath
Tonights main course and deadliest catch
can't complain though it's been quite the ride
maybe the depth is best despite the high...
the twisted connenction that I tried to hide
Caught in the current...distant from my wishes
...high tide and high strung in my position
Further away then I expected
Let it swallow me whole....
No more expectations..no more acceptions

Certain
10-26-2013, 01:55 AM
I hail from tha Delta's depths, born in tha mud.
Papa was a rollin' stone, couldn't affor' me a hug.
Tha poorest in luck, Mama had us four in a bunk,
wit' Tammy snorin' it up while I dream'd of scorin' a buck.
But that ain't us, we's long been use ta desolate lives:
I walked uphill ta school both ways unda pestilent skies.
Couldn't purchase tha glasses, so squints was stressin' my eyes,
but I couldn't've seen betta days anyways.
Yes, we was bent on demise.
And so mah only friend turn'd out to be this wood'n guitar,
and I learn'd how ta strum 'er wit' one foot on tha bar.
And I learn'd how ta sing from tha pits o' mah gut
and make mah voice real grav'ly like tha grits in mah gut.
And we survived off a can o' beans, that's it for a month,
I'm talkin' a can, eatin' tha metal 'til it's rippin' mah gut.
And mah only friends was these four strings — one always broke —
and my woman, she ain't no good neither, dumb as a stone.
And plus can't trust her to roam tha way she comes wit' lies.
She'll open 'er thunduh thighs and let othuh guys come inside.
But I couldn't blame 'er, since I ain't got nothin' ta offer,
only strummin' for dollars, hummin' and clutchin' my coffers.
And she'd probably 've left me, but she got nowhere to run,
'cause tha Delta is home, even in tha coldest of months.
And I'm prayin' ta tha Lord for mercy, reachin' for a purpose.
Tried sellin' my soul to tha devil. He said it wasn't worth it.
Life dealt me a bad hand, I sing and swallow tha truth.
And I guess that's why they call it tha
— man, fuck this shit.

Geno
10-26-2013, 12:19 PM
Great battle, held its weight as for as a champ match should be concerned.

Mr.j
Young friend. Thought you slayed this bruh, tbh
Had a dope story and mechanically well done. Stayed on point and yada yada.

Cerrtain, I felt the same went for you, you had some weird lingo going on which for me.. hurt, most other people may say it was part of your creative vibe this week.. I'm going with it was part of your lack of it

I think mr.j did enough to steel the W
Botw imo. Congrats

Mike Wrecka
10-26-2013, 02:44 PM
ya guys dope battle. really enjoyed both verses.

Mr. J - man you made a leap in skill level here. this is way beyond anything ive ever read from you. in your biggest moment as a writer you delivered your best verse on this site. so much props for that. the concept was sick. you used the idea of someone being lost at sea, the ocean, as a metaphor for someone feeling lost in the depth of society. that type of double meaning verses always pull me in. a straight lost at sea story wouldn't have been nearly as effective. the mechanics were very strong. the flow was immaculate. dopeness brother.


Certain - you faced an uphill battle from the start after reading Js verse imo. but you delivered. I liked how you used the accent changing the spelling of some words to fit with it. it created a really nice tone for the verse. the mechanics here were also very well done. the structure and flow was impressive. but I have tbh about something, towards the end of the verse I was asking myself, wtf does this have to do with blue. maybe that was my own ignorance because by the last line I said oh duh its the blues and the narrator is actually singing the verse in a blues style. after re reading it I even heard that guitar in the background of my mind. but that didn't jump out at me on the first read. its an amazing concept that is hard to pull off in text. it was well done. the second read through brought more appreciation.


overall - very very close battle here. two great concepts well executed. one resonated slightly more to me by a slim margin and that was Mr. Js. BOTW fellas. two very worthy title verses. you guys represented the league well here. but there has to be a winner and I have


vote - Mr. J

Vulgar
10-26-2013, 02:54 PM
Mr. J I like the way you write. It's like if Karaoke wrote topicals. The wording is patiently done, you never rush through saying something and you express the 'meat' of the verse in an entertaining way. It's just a grimy, journalistic style that I enjoy reading. This part really caught my eye: "Predators I created, in my own influence" Good work.

Certain Haha the ending was classy. The only flaws I found in the verse was the use of slang vs. words like 'desolate' and 'pestilent' for obvious reasons. I know you wanted to flow well, but that was the only noticeable thing. Overall this was a cool approach to the topic, if a bit expected. Props on the ending flip.

My vote goes to Mr. J

Zen
10-26-2013, 05:28 PM
Mr. J- Definitely the best verse I've ever read from you. It was crisp as your verses always are with virtually no mistakes. You are a master of flow. Concept wise, while it isn't original, it's still always a dope story and you pulled it off nicely. Well done.

Certain- Honestly I loved the way you used slang in this. It was a risk and it paid off. This would have been the way I would have went with this topic, but I don't think I could match this. It was short compared to J's verse, but it was direct, descriptive, and the language you used made this verse your own. Great work.

After reading J's I didn't think I would do this, but I got Certain with this one. Great battle.

TYSON
10-26-2013, 05:47 PM
Vote Mr.j

His verse had more depth and wasn't rushed. Well that's how certains verse came off to me. Mr.j had better connection with the pic too. The overage of slang brought certains verse back and "math gut" was used too much. The flow was better in certains verse but at the same time Mr.j paced his verse much better. At work while voting so I'm keeping it short but with valid reasons for my vote.

Good battle tho

Dove Dozer
10-26-2013, 07:34 PM
I don't know if my vote counts or not due to me not being signed in, but I'll write my critique for you both since I appreciate a site with a nice league.

Mr. J - I really liked your flow on this, as soon as I started reading I was nodding my head.
I really loved these lines here:

a rarity, diamond in the rough, my curse alone is hope
life the beach who wears it down enough to blow my toast
a message in a bottle that traveled farther than I
where the unknown circles below, making it harder to cry

just so smooth flowing and I really liked the message in a bottle line. great lines.
A number of really nice lines in this verse, deep stuff. perfect flow and scheme was pretty solid.
nicely done dude, I haven't read a lot of your work, but everything I've seen is always real nice flow and content is gold. awesome verse.

Certain - at first I 'll be honest I wasn't feelin the whole slanged up lines. But as I continued reading, it grew on me and just had this swag to it that developed a character. to me at least that's what hooked me. flow and technical stuff was all in order on this too as well. You played with the scheme which was nice, enjoyable read most definitely. I wish it was a little longer though. cause I just felt it ended too soon. sick verse though.


In my opinion Mr. J took this with a more developed verse, just longer and edged it out. very close battle.

Split
10-26-2013, 10:53 PM
decent champ match. not a lot of time to vote, so abbreviated breakdowns.


Mr. J.

one of your best verses on site. srs. felt like you really developed your verse well, the plot progressions was exquisite. also, i notice how you have a free association type of writing... like you often pause on a thought, and continue it in a tangential direction, mixing up the rhymes even if you reuse a rhyme from the last bar. this gives your verse this dope feeling of being freestyled.... and normally i hate the idea of "keystyling" making a verse better, but i guess the idea that your entire verse came out of one single starting seed-crystal is a fucking dope feeling.

you pull it off convincingly, here. sometimes it makes your stories seemed rush and/or beyond your control or something. anyways. dope shit. liked your take on fhe topic. sorry, i cant breakdown quotes or the meaning, that takes way more time for me...


Certain.


didnt like your use of slang that much... felt a little too Boo Radley and forced. it was a solid take on the topic, but not your best, and didnt showcase your natural flow or your attention to miniscule detail by nature. it was mechanically sound. overall, it just fell flat in my opinion. too simplistic in every sense of the word, know you can and usually do drop better.

V/ Mr. J, enjoyed his verse more on all counts. good battle.

Certain
10-27-2013, 04:20 AM
Mr. J leads 6-1.

NYCSPITZ
10-27-2013, 10:35 AM
v/ Mr. J.

I read this when it opened. I thought certain's was an ok departure from his usual style but the whole southern thing seemed a bit forced to me. Don't know, think it needed a lil extra for that authentic sound, but it was good enough. Mr J you could tell just more into his verse. It was nice throughout and the ending was a nice flourish.]

v/ J