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Bodey
10-21-2013, 01:12 PM
"Look at her, talkin shit," He said. uh oh, God is pissed
Sposed to do good but i did the opposite
Robbed a fist with confidence and toppled it
with monster grip, hockin spit til tonsils ripped
Severed an esophagus just as it had fondled wits...
A girl with curls was spawned from it
Let's see if this fresh product sticks
Let's see if they'll try calming this...
mutt. Fuckin mongrel bitch with a common chip
on her shoulders. Glossin wicks with dominance
Burn me flames of competence, no other option lives
But I do fall and slip to compliments, it's obvious
Dropout college kid who sauntered roxy stints
Gained an awful audience who didnt want me off of it
Son of a bitch... CONQUER THIS ...So I got my shit.
Now all I do is jot and rip these jocks who try to copy it
Clock my ticks, lock my smiths, here i am sprawled again
just livin on this borrowed whim, forever lost in bliss

Split
10-22-2013, 01:29 AM
cool! didnt like how you dropped shoulders. but you did drop the shoulder, nomsayin? schemes were really nice. your audio made you a better writer. good job bodey!

Mr. J
10-22-2013, 01:47 AM
Bad ass....smooth flow for the most part
your wording is..well its always been good I believe
but has been getting better. nice style you keeping up
keep at it

Bodey
10-24-2013, 01:58 PM
Thx for the feed

Wise Wiggles
10-30-2013, 02:02 AM
Nice flow for this flex
Loved the borrowed whim line
Stay coo

CopyPat
10-30-2013, 12:42 PM
eh it was ok, i'll give u props for saying whats on ur mind and getting the content in, but scheming wise u are capable or so much more. to me this was more a little poem rather than a display of ur rhyming capability. 2 word rhymes do nothing for me.. this shit is grade 1 level pick ur nose shit, nahhhhhhmean??? aha, i just know u can do way better, i want to see u give a fuck about trying to scheme some crazy shit, i think it'd be dope to see, give er a go. i'de even collab with u if u wanna learn from the greatest ahah jk, i would never collab with u cause u suck. jk i was actually jk about pretending to be the best, lets collab, hit me with an idea or verse when u down, aha stay posting bodey

Geno
10-30-2013, 10:43 PM
Thought this was pretty dope tbh.
Your style is becoming very smooth imo

Had some good one liners. Your build ups and drop ins are pretty nice. Digging the delivery I'm finding. Could just be the way I'm readding it. But if you read it the same as I do -then its dope

Vulgar
12-15-2013, 01:07 AM
ups

NYCSPITZ
12-15-2013, 02:18 AM
it was cool but you said an esophagus fondled wits which doesn't really make sense and if by roxy hits you mean inhaling drugs out a lightbulb or something how does that take a saunter? Are heroine hits about to start jogging next and coke lines will do sprints? lol a more coherent theme would help but if you're gonna always post with that vicious angry tone why not try some horrorcore stories?

Bodey
12-15-2013, 02:29 AM
it was cool but you said an esophagus fondled wits which doesn't really make sense and if by roxy hits you mean inhaling drugs out a lightbulb or something how does that take a saunter? Are heroine hits about to start jogging next and coke lines will do sprints? lol a more coherent theme would help but if you're gonna always post with that vicious angry tone why not try some horrorcore stories?

"hockin spit til tonsils ripped, severed an esophagus" this was sposed to mean i was spitting, like rapping, rippin it if you will. "...just as it had fondled wits" and as i literally tore through my throat spititng so vicious, it began to get sick in a more intelligent way than just rapping

"dropout college kid who sauntered roxy stints" (stints, not hits). i worded it this way because i wasted a lot of my time and life, walking through the repetitive motions (sauntered) of looking for the next one as if it was my job (stints). if you really want me to break down every line i will. anyways, pretty sure it made sense but i can see your point about rushing for the next one rather than taking your time. and even though i'm sure you were being facetious, roxies are basically sythetized heroin. so as opposed to meth, you wouldnt be smoking them through fuckin lightbulbs like a crackhead. i knew some people who would actually smoke their roxies on tinfoil but that was a fuckin waste of time and money so anyone who actually did that was an idiot in my opinion. anything else i should break down?

e11even
12-15-2013, 02:31 AM
I thought this was pretty cool. I think the consistent flow coupled with the pretty interesting word choices made this enjoyable. Dug it. Keep doin ta thang.

NYCSPITZ
12-15-2013, 03:01 AM
no dont break it down further ali obvi this was genius and a work of pure intelligence as art unmatched by 18 elvish lords in all their grandeur, hidden under crystal chandeliers hanging by the branches of the great ent tree lords in the forbidden forest southwest of the shire where the hobbits roam

PancakeBrah
12-15-2013, 03:15 AM
Nice flow for a girl

fixed

Wise Wiggles
12-15-2013, 04:17 AM
That's what I meant

Bodey
12-20-2013, 02:13 AM
no dont break it down further ali obvi this was genius and a work of pure intelligence as art unmatched by 18 elvish lords in all their grandeur, hidden under crystal chandeliers hanging by the branches of the great ent tree lords in the forbidden forest southwest of the shire where the hobbits roam

wasnt sayin that either bitch, you'd know that if you could read between the lines. i wrote this in less than 15 minutes, i get it's sloppy. but dont come at me like none of it makes sense. stop being such an asshole and give feedback, not patronizing observations.

143
12-20-2013, 04:56 PM
I like the personality brought out in this. The flow was smooth as those mentioned before. Kind of more on the conversational/reflective side of things. Your sims was intricately done that the complexity in the image portrayed was vivid. Add the naturality of the wording and you have a dope piece. GOod job...143

Ghost1
12-20-2013, 09:31 PM
I dont fuck wit this bullshit.