Week 6 - ZYG (0-0) vs. Diode (0-0) - DIODE WINS 7-3

[Mike Wrecka]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png
Season 2

Rules

Verse Due Date - Thursday 23:59 PST

Voting Deadline - Sunday 23:59 PST

Line Limits - 16 - 48 Max can be higher if both agree

Voting - Must vote on 3 battles and post voting links in this thread, preferably all in one post.

If you don't vote on 3 battle you will be given a loss. If you lose by votes and don't vote on other battles you receive a one week suspension.


Topic :** You must use this quote as the last line of your verse.**


"And that is exactly why I hate happy people"



Good Luck ZYG Diode

[zygote]

CYNICAL MEDITATION: CALM INDIFFERENCE AND SELFISH PACIFISM.

Calm down. Relax. Turn that meta-view into a better view.
Try something different. Something that you’d never do.
Don’t plan ahead. No mission objectives.
Self-reflect. Then reflect again from a different perspective.
Hold things at an arm’s length and your arms will grow tired.
Hold it close instead. Drop those you no longer require.
No longer desired. Act for yourself. Disregard others.
Fuck these motherfuckers. Let them all suffer.
Selfishness and indifference is essential for self-fulfillment.
Just kill yourself. It helps to be persistent.
Become non-existent. Or don’t. Decide by yourself.
Be calm, relaxed and selfish. It’s good for your health.
Become one with indifference, the feeling is comforting,
Because if the heart desires nothing you cannot experience suffering.
The more people care about something the more likely they’ll be to do something evil,
Benign indifference is peaceful -
And that is exactly why I hate happy people.

[Diode]

a little too young and a little too late


i just met a gentleman
he's heaven sent, it's settled then
limousines, the high life
and lots of medicine
rhythm and blues are just his type of hue
a suave seductive number
and he never leaves a bruise
dear mama, i love him
i don't think i'm coming back
after all, you know what they say about

.. "going black" ..

a voice infused by angels
my heart's condition strangled
every drop of my affection
inside his body, forever tangled
but things are different now
requests, indifferent how
a golden sunshower can deflower
and shatter every vow
they say he took advantage
this pain? i'll never manage
a sweet teen with sweet dreams
devoured and invalid
to understand his motives?
i'll try, though they're illegal
and that is exactly why

i hate "happy people"




http://eil.com/images/main/R+Kelly+-+Happy+People+%2F+U+Saved+Me+-+DOUBLE+CD-297761.jpg

hope you aren't all too young to remember this "incident" (http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2008/06/long_live_the_little_man_defense.html)

[Adonis]

Short vote but I read both so I drop thoughts.. first Diode. First real verse aside in a decade bro, congrats.. I liked it. Although the schemes seem simple, they did good instead of harm because it didn't drag on or rhyme for rhymes sake. Instead it had relative deent cadance and a bit of message barried beneath the fun.. I remember the incident so, I think you really did hit the topic with precision because the ending was, well, happy or had hilarity to it.. you took that route instead of going straight depressing from the point of view from the girl and being sedducedd and shit. I like the fun you had.

Ziggie- both conceptually and execution wise thumbs up. Although I don't really agree with the stance you took, its a different point of view I would have thoughtt of so that's cool. It was short and to the point, which is awsome because this verse had the ability to ompletely lull me to sleep if you kept going.


So I'm sure ill be the odd duckk, but actually have diode here. There's not enough humor in these leagues and baby D did it well, yet still maintained flow and didnnt come off corny at all. Both had different approaches then I've seen most of this season, but I got diode with just enough tickling of my preference to dethrone a champ

[YDK]

Lol this was a dope ass short battle. Zyg you came with the standard approach probably the route I would have taken. Flowed well and nice depth and use of contrast but I felt it lacked much originality it terms of an ending. Strong drop with a blah ending.
Diode you had the short lines which I was skeptical about but after reading it all really flowed well and held a cool but cliche story...until the end. Def did not expect r Kelly at the end lmao both drops were short and sweet but I felt diode brought a refreshing take on it.
good shit guys but my vote goes to diode

[Certain]

ZYG: I find your wide variety of writing styles to be interesting. I get the impression everything you write is built as a challenge to yourself to execute it. Anyway, this one reminded me a lot of the other verse you dropped this week, the Write Week 3 topic on roads. But I liked that better because the discussion was fresher. You had a lot of very interesting concepts in this verse, but I think they needed to be worded with more complexity. As is, it felt a bit like a very lecture. I know your writer's voice is intentionally emotionless, but here the detachment made it impossible to empathize with the speaker's points. I did love a few of your individual thoughts, like holding things close because holding them far away tires the arms. I will say this, too: It'd be easy to say you took the simple approach, but no one attacks topics with this much directness. That's not simple. Pulling it off is incredibly difficult. The simple take on these kinds of topics is to go with a very direct story. You went with a real challenge.

Diode: This take on the topic was pretty fucking genius. I think you could have done more with wordplay to specifically foreshadow R. Kelly (as opposed to just any black singer) being the man, but you went with a more straightforward approach to your brilliant concept. Your writing was OK. The rhymes were hit or miss, with some better structures as you dug in a little bit. The second real stanza was better than the first, but overall your writing was effective but not memorable. That didn't matter because the take on the topic was so good and legitimately funny.

Vote: Diode

Aside: This battle is less than one-sixth as long as YDK-Frank.

[Split]

CYNICAL MEDITATION: CALM INDIFFERENCE AND SELFISH PACIFISM.

Calm down. Relax. Turn that meta-view into a better view.
Try something different. Something that you’d never do.
Don’t plan ahead. No mission objectives.
Self-reflect. Then reflect again from a different perspective.
Hold things at an arm’s length and your arms will grow tired.
Hold it close instead. Drop those you no longer require.
No longer desired. Act for yourself. Disregard others.
Fuck these motherfuckers. Let them all suffer.
Selfishness and indifference is essential for self-fulfillment.
Just kill yourself. It helps to be persistent.
Become non-existent. Or don’t. Decide by yourself.
Be calm, relaxed and selfish. It’s good for your health.
Become one with indifference, the feeling is comforting,
Because if the heart desires nothing you cannot experience suffering.
The more people care about something the more likely they’ll be to do something evil,
Benign indifference is peaceful -
And that is exactly why I hate happy people.

I really liked ZYG's use of commands/ second person... i think that's an avenue rarely taken in these battles that allows for lots of unique manipulation of the english language, insight on the narrator due to his or her esssential bias, overall more powerful. very truncated... delivery oriented.

it was a pretty good piece about how emotion clouds your judgement, in a sense. it makes it more human i mean. sometimes when you talk to a friend about your problems involving a different circle of friends they offer the *worst* advice, because they are emotionally uninvolved and the history of your relationships with each individual person weighs on the situation in a way you cannot explain. this, from the viewpoint of someone who has severed ties or not made any with people, illustrates that point. i think.

a little too young and a little too late


i just met a gentleman
he's heaven sent, it's settled then
limousines, the high life
and lots of medicine
rhythm and blues are just his type of hue
a suave seductive number
and he never leaves a bruise
dear mama, i love him
i don't think i'm coming back
after all, you know what they say about

.. "going black" ..

a voice infused by angels
my heart's condition strangled
every drop of my affection
inside his body, forever tangled
but things are different now
requests, indifferent how
a golden sunshower can deflower
and shatter every vow
they say he took advantage
this pain? i'll never manage
a sweet teen with sweet dreams
devoured and invalid
to understand his motives?
i'll try, though they're illegal
and that is exactly why

i hate "happy people"




http://eil.com/images/main/R+Kelly+-+Happy+People+%2F+U+Saved+Me+-+DOUBLE+CD-297761.jpg

hope you aren't all too young to remember this "incident" (http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2008/06/long_live_the_little_man_defense.html)
lol. funny/ weird. did you ever watch all like, 36 chapters of "Trapped in the Closet"?

wasnt really feeling your rhymes. or lanuage

i guess i wasn't really feeling ZYG's either. cold mechanical. then loose introspection. maybe i am just a piece of shit as a person. i think that would be very freeing.

i liked ZYG's writing more, this week. it has more depth and Diode's writing had some flaws (most likely due to rust) that made it seem stilted and ungenuine, and when you looked beneath the surface of rhyming mechanics and language like I did ZYG's it seemed shallow.


v/ ZYG

[Mike Wrecka]

dope battle imo. two very different verses.

zygote - you potrayed someone that would hate happy people. an indifferent person that seems emotionless. he is dulled by the world around him and could care less about anything. to pull this off you, very cleverly wrote in the character of someone with a flat affect. unfortunately, this made the verse rather robotic and a tad boring. you hit the nail on the head but im the entertainment value was low. the rhyming and word choice were top notch. as usual for you. the flow, cadence and structure was pleasant to read. good work.

diode - welcome to the AOWL my friend. I was surprised here. very good verse. your take on the topic was creative and very entertaining. see you took the idea of happy people the song and then portrayed one of R.Kellys underage victims. using the first part as a letter to mom explaining how great the guy is worked very well. I could imagine these things usually go down like that. then having her explain his sick wants and needs in the second part brought it home. you had some emotion in there. and I would think that the girl that got pissed on irl , really does hate any r Kelly song. so ya good work here bro. mechanically, your structure is good man. its the format that doesn't work imo. your lines were complex but you split them in two making it look simple as fuck. but it read smooth so I could look past that. seriously re consider where you make your line breaks.

your way -

a voice infused by angels
my heart's condition strangled
every drop of my affection
inside his body, forever tangled

possibly a better way

a voice infused by angels, my heart's condition strangled
every drop of my affection,inside his body, forever tangled


but hey everyone has their own style so do you. just trying to be constructive a bit. but this worked here so swag it out how you want


good battle guys. two good reads but I enjoyed one more than the other so my vote goes to


vote - Diode

[symetrik]

ZYG:
cracked up at your title.

favourite lines:

Calm down. Relax. Turn that meta-view into a better view.
Try something different. Something that you’d never do.

Hold things at an arm’s length and your arms will grow tired.
Hold it close instead. Drop those you no longer require.

Become non-existent. Or don’t. Decide by yourself.
Be calm, relaxed and selfish. It’s good for your health.


I wanted you to emphasis rhymes! "beta" instead of "better", "neva" instead of "never".
Really good lines though, I didn't feel the topical aspect as much as I felt this was just some straight solid advice, but decent flow.

Storyline non-existant.


Diode:
died.
I just don't even. lol.

but things are different now
requests, indifferent how
a golden sunshower can deflower
and shatter every vow


I figured it out here.


vote: diode, stronger words were writ by ZYG but it was a weak overall piece, diode provided amusement

[Vulgar]

Zyg - This was rather dry. Tonic and a plain slice of bread. Some clever wording but really this was an amalgam of a fully constructed Zygote-esque statement. Unfulfilling.

Diode - Cool little twist, I found it amusing as I finished reading. I don't think anyone forgets golden showers easily, no matter their generation. Not a great verse but it did it's thing.

Vote - Diode

Clearer and more successful with its message, I thought.

[Diode]

votes:

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=28471

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=28482

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=28472

[Frank]

Zygote.

CYNICAL MEDITATION: CALM INDIFFERENCE AND SELFISH PACIFISM.
^your use of titles is always so abstract that it tricks the average reader into delving deeper than maybe they should.

Calm down. Relax. Turn that meta-view into a better view.
Try something different. Something that you’d never do.
Don’t plan ahead. No mission objectives.
Self-reflect. Then reflect again from a different perspective.
Hold things at an arm’s length and your arms will grow tired.
Hold it close instead. Drop those you no longer require.
No longer desired. Act for yourself. Disregard others.
^I like the repetition of no longer. This technique really creates instant emotion for me.
Fuck these motherfuckers. Let them all suffer.
^lol. line out of genocide/blacks book. Interestingly enough, it's the first time I've read a curse in one of your raps/write ups.
Selfishness and indifference is essential for self-fulfillment.
Just kill yourself. It helps to be persistent.
Become non-existent. Or don’t. Decide by yourself.
Be calm, relaxed and selfish. It’s good for your health.
^Pretty simple scheme wise - but flow wise still seems effective.
Become one with indifference, the feeling is comforting,
Because if the heart desires nothing you cannot experience suffering.
The more people care about something the more likely they’ll be to do something evil,
Benign indifference is peaceful -
And that is exactly why I hate happy people.
^doesn't seem like a justifiable reason


diode.

a little too young and a little too late


i just met a gentleman
he's heaven sent, it's settled then
limousines, the high life
and lots of medicine
rhythm and blues are just his type of hue
a suave seductive number
and he never leaves a bruise
dear mama, i love him
i don't think i'm coming back
after all, you know what they say about

.. "going black" ..

a voice infused by angels
my heart's condition strangled
every drop of my affection
inside his body, forever tangled
but things are different now
requests, indifferent how
a golden sunshower can deflower
and shatter every vow
they say he took advantage
this pain? i'll never manage
a sweet teen with sweet dreams
devoured and invalid
to understand his motives?
i'll try, though they're illegal
and that is exactly why

i hate "happy people"

this was a incredibly short verse but it had somewhat summary style to it. Beginning/ middle/ end. Listen man I'm up on R Kelly and shit but not really to that extent, so in that regard it was a reach for me -

I voted for ZYG

Weird verses all around.

[patrown]

zygote - i loved your verse dude. it was seriously strong writing. great advice! from the viewpoint of a self-concseouse writer. this is a great fucking verse. good content. great execution. hit the topic well.

diode - i don't really understand what you were talking about, situationally, besides some one definitely got R-Kelly'd. so, why you hate happy people? i'll never know.you did not appeal to me because my brain cells are dwindling. but uh.. you felt a little more poetic then your opponent.

/v zygote. i feel he hit the topic better. not to say i know what i'm talking about. but from a layman perspective zyg definitely won. and just for the record, i enjoyed zyg's more as a whole.

[e11even]

Sick ass battle guys, best one I've read this week. [pressed for time]

Zyg- dope. This was a dope introspective piece. I loved how this played out as I read it. I dig this shit.


Diode- You motherfucker. R. Kelly is a saint. Moving on... this piece a lite genius. I loved it. "going black" had me like "aaahhhh shhhiiiittt". Murder in word form. This verse def takes the cake.


MVGT Diode for the second stanza of awesomeness... GREAT BATTLE GUYS. I wish I didn't vote against such a good verse though.