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Mr. J
10-30-2013, 08:11 PM
Beast from the darkness, made one of the easiest targets
far-fetched dreamer, seized at the end, upheaval as a project
diseased as a concept, but sought to put ease to the nonsense
they couldn't believe him, understand his need to "be", heartless
monsters in their own right, that's why they never fought their own fight
they struggle with death, and only expect the thought to blow by
exposed light and further data speculates they did it at their own price
it was showtime, the escape was efficient enough to dazzle those lies
truth was evident, evidence of danger is showcased...
express your feelings and your taste for adventure, the censors
the law pursued with their endeavors conquering lands for treasures
stealing from the simple minded and then using differential lectures
that spoke to the one with similar dialect but still seemed pressured
like surely he could link the words together and make them bow to his pleasure
sure enough, he did, and that's where the story started
they raided the next day tearing apart the graves of the dearly departed
opening up tombs and collecting what the presumed was the target
forgotten gems of society that carried curses from a time lost in...
immeasurable consequences...insurmountable accomplishments...
the ground shook and the earth took its toll as the body rose
and where they all ended up after that...only the godly know...
double barrel to the chest...let the shotty blow....same feeling
now let the pain creep in

Wise Wiggles
10-30-2013, 08:22 PM
Nice. I was going to say something grand and spectacular about this crazy shit I just read but some fucking crack head hipster faggot is screaming right by me on the max if anyone wants a needle. Jesus Christ I'm bout to smash this fucks fohawk thru the window.. Anyways, the start was fire and my favvv. Insurmountable was a cool thing. Keep scribing.

Geno
10-30-2013, 08:24 PM
Are you taking stabs at me? (O.o)

Geno
10-30-2013, 08:25 PM
Oh, this was dope btw. You have a nice run and bit of admiration going for you rite now. I can dig it.

Mr. J
10-30-2013, 10:48 PM
Nahhh bro
scrapped AOWL verse

Geno
10-30-2013, 10:51 PM
Cool.
I was referring to your write week 3 verse. Not this one

But you said nahhh, ill accept it as you called it.
Good to know your true identity now, btw.
Glad your around still.

Mr. J
10-30-2013, 11:18 PM
That was just a random blurt about being incognito when there's no people
calm down Geno...lets keep it peaceful :)

Mr. J
11-01-2013, 02:36 PM
Jersey Shore

breathless
11-01-2013, 04:35 PM
Nice, honestly, I couldn't pinpoint if you were talking about zombies, heroin addicts or Egyptian grave robbers, regardless though, the wording and flow was killer. Nice use of the soft o and I "ah" sounds verbal rhyming with the "ar" sounds. Definitely brought an audio effect to the writing, and the cadence was on point throughout, never had the typical "wait, how's this supposed to sound" question. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I read this in 5/x timing... It fit, at least for me, the whole way through

(1)exposed light and (2)further data (3)speculates they (4)did it at their (5)own price
it was (1)showtime, the (2)escape was (3)efficient enough to (4)dazzle those (5)lies

The way you slightly reversed the multi spots at the end of the lines here was real nice too. And transitioning the end rhyme to the beginning was really cohesive, shows true talent.

Great work J, keep that shit up

Mr. J
11-03-2013, 09:07 PM
Kinda hard to determine for me right now
the thought trapped in my head at the time being was King Kong

Mr. J
11-05-2013, 09:25 PM
Party hats for everyone

Zombie
11-07-2013, 11:18 PM
Your adjectives should be sprinkled.

Mr. J
11-11-2013, 12:25 AM
Fancy that

CopyPat
11-11-2013, 06:34 PM
That was just a random blurt about being incognito when there's no people
calm down Geno...lets keep it peaceful :)

^best part



jk.

yeah this was way better. and then i read it was a scrapped tourney verse. all makes sense eh? when u sit and concentrate it turns out really good. by FAR one of the most cohesive and polished drops ive seen from u. smooth rhyming too. good shit buds