bits to follow

[ill nik-A]

hello bros..

constructing a punch

heres the obvious:

line 1 is ur set up line....
line 2 is the punch...
2 lines = 1 punchline


what do u look for in a battle? either humor or creativity/wit

how to pack a punch u ask?

the 2 main ingredients are...
1 - the concept - the main focus behind the punch... it can consist of one word or phrase
2 - wording - the way u make that concept standout.. its all about the way u deliver it

these are the keys to constructing a good punch

once u master these... the rest comes together - such as flow/ multies - no one word rhyming cuz that really takes away from the way the punch is carried

now... how do u stay from the obvious u ask...

a simile is usually simplistic... I'm give u an example of how I like to coordinate my lines

how many times u tried stopping me?
u have faith in ur abilities… its just ur concepts are atheist & ya wording’s into scientology

notice the "how many times u tried stopping me" line... simple but sets up the punch perfectly...

"faith in ur abilities" is the concept in this one... now the way I worded it is what made this one a beauty... faith ties up religion (atheist and scientology) so I connected with his opposites for the diss...

this line is a bit lengthy... but the sting makes people forget about that and the tad of choppiness, know why? cuz the concept and wording are STRONG... only those things can let u get away with other minor details

my recommendation is to begin with ur concept... word it in as many ways as u think and choose ur best...if flow makes it work better by using multies go for it... but that shouldnt be ur first choice of concentration.... concept and wording should be... never sacrifice a punch for flow... but its ok to sacrifice flow for a punch

also... as u get creative remember the point is dissing ur opponent... i see it all the time when someone references something that does not attack their opponent... u didnt accomplish shit by that...

this is lesson 1...

I want u guys to set up and word the following concept in this thread

"u're trash"

due Saturday before noon

thx

[Witty]

This is dope, and I'm gonna post the punch asap, thanks man.

[Ghost1]

Dope.

I actually remember that bar.....lol


HERE TO CO-TUTOR W NIK THE GOD

THE UNDEFEATED TAG PHENOM LIVES


nah but for real ill peep in now an again if ya git questions for me im down to help, i dont mind critiquimg verses eother as a handful of others on the site already know

Gl bros

[King Ra.]

So nik n Bags are my tutors. How ironic, huh? I think I found my main issue, that shit with the flow. I'll definitely take this into consideration. Bags, drop them secrets boi.

[Obey]

This is good shit

[Obey]

Shit for you is goin backwards instead
you're trash, when he's fuckin his girl she puts a paper bag on his head

[Ghost1]

LOL@aimz

But yo

Nik touched on most of the key fundamentals im gonna re read his input an maybe offer a lil thought to it a lil later but everything he said is right on the button

[ill nik-A]

No more lines?!?

[Ghost1]

Lazy niggas.

[King Ra.]

I'll drop a few today.

[ill nik-A]

Wow and y'all want help and can't do a simple assignment?!

Whatever

[King Ra.]

Your lines are the weakest & mines go the hardest,
you're trash.... & I'm taking you out like Monday morning garbage.

That's what I came up with off the top.

What I want to know is, when you approach a battle against someone, how do you plan your verse(s) out? You brainstorm a bunch of concepts then write them out? I've been told my wording is a major issue.... from what I read from the example, it seems like as long as the two end words rhyme, everything is straight.

Speak. ill nik-A Bags

And Bags, are you done battling now that NC is down?

[Obey]

He must be trying to get a free hit, you know your shit sucks
and your trash right next to those empty bottles of cough syrup
He wont buy somethin unless its discounted by half or more
you're trash and treasure isn't something you're in the market for
No one smart is going to lend you cash bitch
your trash so white it walks in the thread with no shoes n a denim jacket

[Obey]

where the fuck is every one else

[ill nik-A]

Your lines are the weakest & mines go the hardest,
you're trash.... & I'm taking you out like Monday morning garbage.

That's what I came up with off the top.

What I want to know is, when you approach a battle against someone, how do you plan your verse(s) out? You brainstorm a bunch of concepts then write them out? I've been told my wording is a major issue.... from what I read from the example, it seems like as long as the two end words rhyme, everything is straight.

Speak. ill nik-A Bags

And Bags, are you done battling now that NC is down?

Yes I go with concepts first... Then word them.... Try different ways... Make sure ur set ups connect the punch

I'm not done yet... I got more sonning to do

[Obey]

Your lines are the weakest & mines go the hardest,
you're trash.... & I'm taking you out like Monday morning garbage.

That's what I came up with off the top.

What I want to know is, when you approach a battle against someone, how do you plan your verse(s) out? You brainstorm a bunch of concepts then write them out? I've been told my wording is a major issue.... from what I read from the example, it seems like as long as the two end words rhyme, everything is straight.

Speak. ill nik-A Bags

And Bags, are you done battling now that NC is down?


There's a chick who blows off on weekends, the whore gets fathered
she happens to be your trash, go take out monday mornings garbage

[Obey]

Yo can you give us a good example of this you are trash thing so we can see how you would use that concept

[ill nik-A]

The best use of it IMO was this...

No one smart is going to lend you cash bitch
your trash so white it walks in the thread with no shoes n a denim jacket

Why? It's original... The obvious is taking the ure trash concept and connecting with a garbage reference... The flip made this work and u shied away from the obvious very well

I likes it

The taking u out like Monday morning wording is weak... It's stating the obvious... Same thing I said to keep away from

The concept is only as good as ur wording... I just wanted u guys to know that a simple concept can work if worded well

Shoot me some questions and I will explain as much as I can

If bags wants to add something shoot

[Witty]

Fucking whore, be walking the streets even when it rains and you're wet thru
That's why you're trash...u wait on curbs for strange men to come and get you
ill nik-A Bags

[Obey]

So you're asking me to be stupid

[ill nik-A]

Huh?

I said that was good

I reworded my take maybe that came across wrong I'm assuming?

[Witty]

Ahem.

[King Ra.]

Definitely need to make the concept more original & creative. I think Witty's lines was pretty solid.

[Ghost1]

Fucking whore, be walking the streets even when it rains and you're wet thru
That's why you're trash...u wait on curbs for strange men to come and get you
ill nik-A Bags

Lol. I like this yo.

Im hungiver ill be more inciteful tomorrow ....but i dug this

[Ghost1]

@kieth im done battling for now yea.

an yea i genereally think of a bunch if concepts an jot em down, then when its time to write i start to think of how i wanna word my punch, always the punch first, then once i have rhe punch worded crisply i think if a set up that will give explanation to my punch....its a set up, ur setting up ur punch...so many people just do random rhymes tho an neglect tying it into their punches ....the very last thing i worry about is rhymin tbh, rhyming is easy......theres a gagillion words an alot if them rhyme, i do try to multi twice in the set up an once in the punch tho so it reads easier an gives ur bar more impact, other people like nik even will have the set up after there punch rhyme woth the last bar, which i think is slick too

[Obey]

@kieth im done battling for now yea.

an yea i genereally think of a bunch if concepts an jot em down, then when its time to write i start to think of how i wanna word my punch, always the punch first, then once i have rhe punch worded crisply i think if a set up that will give explanation to my punch....its a set up, ur setting up ur punch...so many people just do random rhymes tho an neglect tying it into their punches ....the very last thing i worry about is rhymin tbh, rhyming is easy......theres a gagillion words an alot if them rhyme, i do try to multi twice in the set up an once in the punch tho so it reads easier an gives ur bar more impact, other people like nik even will have the set up after there punch rhyme woth the last bar, which i think is slick too

This is solid truth

[Flow]

He recycles his lines nearly every single day
Hes trash, thats why he bags on all yo shit after its been thrown away