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View Full Version : Fizzy Corn (Malachi + S9 Collab)


Sharp
02-10-2013, 12:56 AM
Malachi

Disaster strikes when I bust a rhyme
A bastard that don't fit the paradigm of teen's mind at this time
Rapping black magic with passion
Temper tantrum with my six handguns
i could hold mansions for ransom
Nigga my flow handsome
stepping to these hands son is like god against plankton
Damn son, who thought dominica could be the steller nebula
Getting some chedder, bread, et cetera on the regular
Im an asterisk, leave nigs at a risk
Speaking ebonicaly chronically, got control of your world like monopoly
Knock out fuckers adams apple, send it back to eden
Flow sick, im germin like i live in a european region
You know bitches listen when i talk
They call me David the way i hassle for the HOF


Sharp Nine

...Got spinners on my tardis...

I'm an alarmist in the farthest reaches of time and space
Armed to do harm in semi-charmed state
Out of place - meant for higher placement, and my patience is
stretched thin, its blatant I'm a capital player - Ovechkin
etched in fluorescence, I'm a presence from the heavens
rock Seven come Eleven, bringing glocks to Bob Evans
Like Coltrane's Impressions, my sessions leave souls drained
I'm an untrained, self-contained campaign against discretion
flow with no direction, a lesson from my blood
'swhy each one of my drops holds back enough for a flood

Malachi
02-11-2013, 06:26 PM
Dont sleep yo

dead man
02-11-2013, 06:35 PM
Disaster strikes when I bust a rhyme
A bastard that don't fit the paradigm of teen's mind at this time
Rapping black magic with passion
Temper tantrum with my six handguns
i could hold mansions for ransom
Nigga my flow handsome
stepping to these hands son is like god against plankton
Damn son, who thought dominica could be the steller nebula
Getting some chedder, bread, et cetera on the regular

lol all that shit was nice imo. the second line, plankton and stellar nebula in particular. dope stuff malachi.

its nice to see how a person writes before all the pressure from these rap boards gets to them and winds up molding their style. try to keep your own unique energy. you've got it.. trust


stretched thin, its blatant I'm a capital player - Ovechkin
&
rock Seven come Eleven, bringing glocks to Bob Evans

ha. a couple nice reference flips. i wasn't feeling this as much, in general, as some of your other drops. but as a sword sharpening exercise it made sense. it had distinct personality. both sections did.

thanks for this one guys. ill be looking out.

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Malachi
02-11-2013, 06:40 PM
Yo word thanks for the feed, need any feed on your Om ?

dead man
02-11-2013, 06:44 PM
dont sweat it.. if you come across one and enjoy it, feel free to drop a comment..

Zen
02-11-2013, 08:06 PM
Nice collab you two. I was feeling Malachi's verse more than Sharp's but both came good on this drop. Malachi had some dope ass flow and the word everyone uses now "swag", I hate that fuckin word but you got it haha. This was all in all some good shit fellas. Keep postin.

Malachi
02-11-2013, 08:17 PM
Nice collab you two. I was feeling Malachi's verse more than Sharp's but both came good on this drop. Malachi had some dope ass flow and the word everyone uses now "swag", I hate that fuckin word but you got it haha. This was all in all some good shit fellas. Keep postin.

Lol thanks for the lil feed here.

Split
02-14-2013, 03:42 PM
Sharp Nine FUCK Dr. Who, worst show on television

etched in fluorescence, I'm a presence from the heavens
rock Seven come Eleven, bringing glocks to Bob Evans
Like Coltrane's Impressions, my sessions leave souls drained
I'm an untrained, self-contained campaign against discretion

you can write.

Prophet

Disaster strikes when I bust a rhyme
A bastard that don't fit the paradigm of teen's mind at this time
Rapping black magic with passion
Temper tantrum with my six handguns
i could hold mansions for ransom

nice. solid rhyming. nice collab, your styles meshed well despite being very different
keep keyin

Sharp
02-14-2013, 03:51 PM
appreciate all the feeding folks. Felt like malachi came really creatively and cohesively. really enjoyed his verse

lol Split it's my girlfriend's favorite show... I don't watch much tv but we watched some of that a little while before I wrote this

and for the record, I'm more than fine with any negative feedback, I tried just going stream of thought-y here, which I never did anything like before. I know the verse has elements ripe for critiquing, so if anyone feels so inclined, I'll gladly hear it.

namix
02-16-2013, 09:57 AM
fellas - this was a cool flex here... couple pretty slick concepts to go with well structured flow.


Malachi - I was pleasantly surprised with your verse man, i havent seen a HOF play before, that was a real refreshing concept - i normally cant stand when people break-up wordplay "hassle for the HOF", but it was a refreshing concept nonetheless --- you could have made it real dope by using your setup to potentially better bring the actor into context and/or even to bring the idea that your "David" reference was tied to llama --- that would have been ill too.

Also - here's a cool trick if you have to break apart wordplay like that --- use a word that makes sense in both cases --- like your "this drop will END with the HOF, no Hassle"..... so you essentially are just saying part of his name, the end of his name, with NO hassle. AND it make's it like you aren't hassling for it, but you are naturally just going to be there. See what I mean? (i'm only breaking it down to this level because i liked where you were going with it brotha).

Also like your random flex lines which were reinforced by the solid flow... like the God/plankton line - it wasn't anything fancy, but cool for a flex.


Sharp -
I thought you had a cool complementary read here. you could tell it was a quick flow, which is cool - just exercising the creative mind man, i get it. solid flow, and pretty good rhyming concepts. nothing like jaw dropping, but i dont think this was meant to be your mona lisa here anywhere, it was just a cool quick swag/flow drop.

there were a couple instances where you were really on to something that could have been expounded on to be super slick IMAGERY wise... I feel that shit man, it's a lost art for the most part these days - i dont see a ton of it it. If you work on your 'conceptual flow' to create the right context man -- concepts like 'etched in fluorescence/presence of heaven' would come out looking and sounding straight genius -- you just need to build the conceptual flow in and around it a bit more to really bring that shit to light and to life.... BUT again, i get it was just a quick flex, and for that, it was a solid quick read man.



good shit fellas, pleasantly surprised too for the quick flex read i knew it was going to be!

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