WK2: Mike Wrecka (0-1) VS. Camp Bell (1-0) [MIKE WRECKA WINS, 6-1.]

[King Ra.]

Verses are due Thursday 2/21 at 11:59 PST

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Extensions are due Friday 2/22 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!

You must vote on 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

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TOPIC:
http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/6294/industriesf59785pf4.jpg


Good luck to both participants. Mike Wrecka Camp Bell

[Mike Wrecka]

yizzerp

[Camp Bell]

nike sign.

[Mike Wrecka]

ext? @campbell

[Camp Bell]

sure...how long

[Mike Wrecka]

"Extensions are due Friday 2/22 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!"

that works

[Camp Bell]

seems legit! lol

[Camp Bell]

im looking through diagrams, hoping to find my niche
trying to figure how to revive life when the desire ends
the mad scientist, a dude who could never find a friend
...cuz death is a violent trend we dont have time to pick
my design was this; a helmet with tubes for lightning hits
a supply of tricks should suffice when i add the diagnostics
two optical eye socket's, that dwells within ya minds options
once i'm helped in this suit and the bionics switch, i'll defy logic
...wealth is the profit from this giant risk, wow i got tight pockets
all i wanted to do, achieve higher progress in the entire process
at first, i was held at the psychiatrist, now aiding in crime stopping?
ok, who's doing the dime dropping, im getting off my writing topic
where was i? oh, my entire knowledge was used as a hired object
...enslaved then required to acquire dollars for these lying cowards
i had to plan an escape and this invention kept my attention at night
the pride&power of a titan's inside and i'll die with honor if i were tried
they'll never take whats mine..

[Mike Wrecka]

http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/6294/industriesf59785pf4.jpg



episode one, mother gives birth to a son,
born into slavery, servitude has begun/
soon he grew to become, a child who refused to succumb,
to the pressure of the tasks his master rudely pursued to be done/
while a feud had been brung, by a sinister menace,
unaware of the presence, he studied cybergenetics/
when a knight and his apprentice, walked into the shop,
that he was forced to work at all day, fixing robots/
their ship had got shot, wanting to get back into space,
but lacking funds they wagered on a race about to take place/
in need of a driver, so the boy volunteered,
finished first off in the clear as the creatures in the crowd cheered/
after all of these years, finally his freedom was here!,
but he discovered not for his mother and this brought him to tears/
was promised a better life, under the care of the knight,
so little orphan Annie got on the space ship and took flight/
but everything wasn't all right, they were in a fight against evil,
so they set off on a mission to save a princess and her people/


many years have passed, since that victorious clash,
the boy turned into a man, who kicked a whole lotta ass/
his attitude was brash, always flew reckless and fast,
not afraid to crash because of his tenuous past/
used to smile and laugh, which essentially masked,
the aftermath of his family being torn in half/
chose a path, took an oath, to serve and protect,
while learning a mystical art, with a sharp disconnect/
it was hard to accept, that emotions have no use really,
so when he fell in love, he had to hide his true feelings/
denied, glued to the ceiling, not permitted to reach,
his true potential, so he was committed to seek/
counsel, but they would speak, only weaknesses about him,
even though when he put his mind to it, he could reach out and move mountains/
it was astounding, so he walked away from the light,
and turned his allegiance to the darkside of the fight/


that man and boy were me, well at least he used to be,
now my bodies biology is alien technology/
I can hardly see and its becoming hard to breathe,
if provoked focus on your throat and start to squeeze/
my hearts diseased, being ripped apart in three,
different directions, and that's where this darkness breeds/
my mind is sharp but please, release me from this cage,
wearing a mask dulls my senses, while increasing my rage/
been seeking for days, months, years, decades,
for the person whose blade made me wear this chest plate/
filled with hate, my offspring think im a monster it seems,
told my son im his father and he started to scream/
cant possibly bring, myself to do him any harm,
and for the first time in a long time im feelin real calm/
take off the mask, see with my own sight,
filled with happiness as I walk back into the light/

[Camp Bell]

dope.

[Geno]

Dope battle.

Camp bell. Came with an interesting approach. Seemed to me like you invented this character at first to be somewhat of a hero. But ultimately you were turned against that decision either forcefully or subconsciously.. still can't figure which. You seemed to stray a little bit and some of your content had a very forced feel to it. It seems like you really struggled conceptually with this piece. Mechanics were poor in some areas and dope in others all in all -I've seen way better from you.

Mike
This was an amazing piece dood. You killed the storyline man. The progression of the life of your character was dope man. I could almost feel what he was going through as I read it. Your no holds barred style worked perfectly here with this plot. The way your character went fromm a young seemingly innocent being/entity into an older one with so much pain until the end... where I got lost a little bit.. the last couple lines felt like they needed,, or were missing a couple details. Almost like you ran out of steam and had to end it before you lost interest.. but none the less. This was a dope read.

This battle is very one sided imo. Camp just didn't bring to the table what I expected to see from him and I got the feel that the topic didn't rub him the right way.

Mike definitely had the reverse effect going on and came through nicely this week.

V-mike wrecka

[Camp Bell]

yea man, i was struggling with it cuz i couldnt get a feel for the pic
mike you bodied this shit tho fam, good shit!!

[Inno]

this was a dopw battle

bell

yo i like the angle you took man you took the picture and the first half of your piece you describe the mask in a very detail way..that shit was dope and then you start to dive into the character..at one point thatl ine about going off topic..at first i didnt like it...but then i thought dam that shit really put me there. i felt like at that moment i saw your character sitting down and writing this and being so consumed by this shit that he loses focus.. i mean dam dude this was some fire bro i only wish you would of wrote more. for what it is its dope man no complaints at all..competition sake seems incomplete.

MW

man this was another fucking dope angle on the topic. Star wars? is luke your character? im sorry if im completely off but its offly close. boy slave wins a race wins his freedom..goes off to save a princess lol...either way this shit was fucknig dope like i said before. your rhyme scheme is just flawless man the flow of this is what impressed me tho.. i mean this shit just read so smoothly and it had the hit man, you know lol..that dam this shit is good hahaha. anyway dug the story line bro you developed it nicely and each verse transitions to the next with no problems..great stuff man

overall

ok well tbh honest these where 2 dope piece with really no flaws as far as mechanics go. each competitor droped some memorable lines and each showcased there talents. it came down to who had the longer lating affect. camp had a dope verse with some really smooth rhyming but i felt his piece was too short compared to micks..which came with some fucking fire as well. honestly if camp would of wrote a bit more i think i would of voted for him cuz this could go either way for me . but in the end i got Mick with the vote cuz he dropped and equally dope piece with a better developed storyline..great battle folks.

[zygote]

Mike Wrecka enjoyed the description of dehumanization process. Campbell's description of an inventor was good too but it did not compare well in this contest. Voted for Mike Wrecka.

[Frank]

Cambell...

People talk about rhyme schemes, you got those. Good rhythm to this joint, maybe self indulge. Felt basic, void of true emotion. "They'll never take what's yours" meaning they was trying to brain wash you, I got that. Half hearted shot in the dark. Try to be vulnerable and allow yourself to incorporate more of you into your shit.

Mike wrecka.

Good shit iron man. This piece was tough. You gotta rusty scheme in the sense thats it not too polished but it's more genuine because of it. Sometimes you rhyme only one syllable, so when you do do multies it has greater effect because of it. You flow like early man, your not too eloquent but you keep it humpback of notre dom. Good showing. Simple strength personified.

Overall
can be one winner And With the 3rd round TKO.... MIKE WRECKA

[Coup]

CB-

im looking through diagrams, hoping to find my niche
trying to figure how to revive life when the desire ends
the mad scientist, a dude who could never find a friend
...cuz death is a violent trend we dont have time to pick
my design was this; a helmet with tubes for lightning hits
a supply of tricks should suffice when i add the diagnostics
two optical eye socket's, that dwells within ya minds options
once i'm helped in this suit and the bionics switch, i'll defy logic

I read this out loud and I really like the way it sounded, for real. Smooth little description of the pic..."lighting hits" I felt that fam. I approve the mad scientist theme and the description of his creation and the hints you gave of his personality... and story arch or problems/obsticles you established here. A lot going on and you did it gracefully.

you broke the 4th wall with this line...

ok, who's doing the dime dropping, im getting off my writing topic
where was i? oh, my entire knowledge was used as a hired object

What did this add ? (nothing)

It's your second half that really falls of a promising start.

1. He's a crime stopper now ?
2. Who are the lying cowards ?
3 Escape ? You were a captive ?
4. Titans ?

Those questions really needed to be answered and you did not establish the precepts for them in the verse and they just stood out to me. Call it nit picking if you want...

Also it seem a few lines did not even rhyme...not sure if it's an accent thing or a language thing.

Overall a enjoyable verse dispite my nagging ...I liked the sharp angles and lines of this, the to the point word placments...complimented the picture very well. Nice drop friend, indeed, indeed.


MW-

You leaned heavily, if not entirely on the Star Wars Phantom Menace and the horrible prequel movies. That pic don't look like vadar man! Tho, close enough lol

This was some very crafty and complete story arch progression and development...and with slightly basic rhymes (who cares really) normally I'd say well done. It's hard to give props when this plot is not yours though and not original to your mind catalyst ...you just rehashed or summed the plot up, which takes a bit of efficiency and real skill (props to that bro) but not too difficult.while you told it well. all in all good job man. next time I want to see what you got, i know it's in you...baised on your strong showing last week (my VOTW).

Good battle guys.


vote - camp bell

[Camp Bell]

thanks for all the votes and feed. definitely will be considered next battle...

mike you got this fam, good shit

[Malachi]

V/ Mic Wrekca

tho i really liked Camp Bell, he had really dope flow. MAybe if your drop was longer a this match couldve been closer.
Mic Wrecka this was a great drop. I liked the storytelling and your flow was great and solid. The wording was good too,

[King Ra.]

This battle reminds of the Genocide, pohfig match up pertaining to styles. Two different styles but unlike that match up, this one had a clear cut winner IMO. Camp bell, your rhyme schemes are always on point & once again it showed here. I felt you started off your story very well. But then the switch at the climax threw me off & to be honest it felt as if you sort of lost thought on how to finish your story. That or you tried to add some bit of a twist but it didn't work out too well. All in all, it was a decent read. Mike Wrecka, your storytelling is what shined the most this battle. While I wasn't too impressed by your scheme, it was a bit basic, all the other elements you were pretty on point with. You were able to take the image & make a full blown tale from it and I understand the difficulty of such, which I'm sure Camp bell also struggled with. Nonetheless you did a good job. Camp bell, one thing, you should try and write a little bit more with your pieces. A lot of writers will go about 24-32 lines average, and most of the time, it helps with rounding out their pieces more.

MVGT: Mike Wrecka.

[Pent uP]

Camp Bell, I'm not sure where this topic and that verse go together much at all. But getting away from that to just review th3e verse, the flow had some minor moments and some of the narration read smoothly, but it was a bit of a rough read with some choppy flow spots, but not too bad.

Mike wrecka, this was great character development and the details that you gave within the story were interesting and made it a much stronger verse. The different phases of the characters lifce made the depth of the storyline more creative and that got my attention more than anything else.

Voe mike wrecker

[King Ra.]

MIKE WRECKA WINS, 6-1.