Anticipation

[dead man]

i guess


it's sad for itself. a silhouette that sat on the shelf
unaware of how abandonment felt. home is a thought
of overindulgence. note to mirage - you're bad for my health
what can you do but wait in silence for the capsule to melt
my brother heard a voice, screaming. asking for help
now that he's gone it seems i've picked up on the habit as well
so pick me up a twenty-bag or drag me to hell
from an era where the thrill is gone and abstinence sells
it gets harder to tell whether monogamy counts
when there's passion in the battlefield but not at the house
olive her skin, tonic her svedka, cotton her blouse
communicating undercover like reconnaissance scouts
put my keys on the table. put that shot in her mouth
she opens up like caves of wonder Ali Ababwa recounts
it only got quieter once we started to shout
called an audible and walked. the only option was out
couch surfing for a theta wave to throw me a sign
from an era where GD stands for growth & decline
my city is a battlefield for soldiers to die
i've seen their moms' smile when those diplomas arrived
how their brows twisted tearful when they lowered the box
speaking reassurance with my stomach in knots
pandora holds a piece of mind i've opened a lot
jotting thoughts even though my demons told me to stop
optimism, realism, theologists agree
that no matter what, it's all okay. it's only a dream
i left a note on the fridge that should be reason enough
to let this hate become a seasonal drug, read it and shrug
read it or weep. follow the sheep, i am leader of goats
making hall of fame worthy look like decent at most
focus and you'll understand. believe it or don't
there is no good - only absence of the evil in folks
breathe into your center. let the chemicals float
soak inside the hologram and breathe into smoke
people are so terrified. it's really a joke
remember. no, anticipate. amnesia, she wrote





deadman

[NYCSPITZ]

BRAGGADOCIO...

[Split]

i want to read this more. good one.

[NYCSPITZ]

trill talk = 9.17/10

Ali abawa...nigga brought out the aladdin shit...mind blown

genies and shit,

absence of evil was dope

beginning was cool

a little enlightening, a little sad, a little surprising

u r life itself

[Eŋg]

this reminds me why i stopped reading your shit. on the real. i thought it was flames, though. might expound on that but i wouldn't promise to.

[Natural]

Wait. Are you black?

[Frank]

she wrote, she wrote, she wrote lol



whoever SHE is > deadman

[NYCSPITZ]

lol I mean the young lad is a whippersnapper the testosterone fueled ego barbs will take their natural course. If people like oatmeal wouldn't gush over the precocious blacketh's material like princess jasmine witnessing aladdin's arabian dick size we wouldn't have a problem but like dallas and cristian say he's glorified too much. In my estimation black and vulgar are the best OM writers currently j not by the miles people make it out to be. Leave the lad alone Nasty Mas...

[Frank]

hahahahaha


i heard that movie was an instant classic - dope name brah

black has all the respect in the world from me. I could drop my top twenty verses and black got a spot in my top 5. anything he does now is just sprinkles. black sprinkles

[dead man]

Wait. Are you black?
No I am deadman.

[Wise Wiggles]

Awesome. Felt it the whole way.
For me it heated the fuck up the 2nd half.
All fire. Natural being congrats on the rape, I see..
Looking forward to what you unveil next!

[Just Write]

Dope shit dead. Silky smooth flow as usual. Loved the habit as well/ drag me to hell bit as well as the soldier part

[dead man]

Many thanks fellows

[Geno]

i want to hear a deadman audio more than anyone else from this site right now. so smooth. excellent piece

[FR33KtheG33K]

like genocide said, youre one of the only cats on here that i want to hear some audio from. every drop, the vocabulary is astounding and it actually makes sense and is fluid enough for me to read outloud and find the flow.

[dead man]

Geno I like your recent tracks. I hope you keep at it.

Thanks freek. You seem like a good guy who is overlooked here. I'll check out some of your work when I get a chance.

[Certain]

Another good read from a great writer, one that pieces in comfortably with almost everything you have written here since I joined this site.

it's sad for itself. a silhouette that sat on the shelf
unaware of how abandonment felt. home is a thought
of overindulgence. note to mirage - you're bad for my health
what can you do but wait in silence for the capsule to melt
my brother heard a voice, screaming. asking for help
now that he's gone it seems i've picked up on the habit as well
so pick me up a twenty-bag or drag me to hell
from an era where the thrill is gone and abstinence sells

The entire section is excellent, but the concept behind last line is interesting. You think we've become neutered as a society? I do agree that the old-person rhetoric of an oversexed youth is false.

it gets harder to tell whether monogamy counts
when there's passion in the battlefield but not at the house
olive her skin, tonic her svedka, cotton her blouse
communicating undercover like reconnaissance scouts
put my keys on the table. put that shot in her mouth
she opens up like caves of wonder Ali Ababwa recounts
it only got quieter once we started to shout
called an audible and walked. the only option was out

This was your most linear section, though it was not my favorite. Even as you stayed on topic while maintaining your lyricism, it just wasn't as thought provoking as the introduction. I guess one way to say it is that I could see a few other writers on this board handling this section better, which I can't say often for your verses. The Aladdin line felt flattest.

couch surfing for a theta wave to throw me a sign
from an era where GD stands for growth & decline
my city is a battlefield for soldiers to die
i've seen their moms' smile when those diplomas arrived
how their brows twisted tearful when they lowered the box
speaking reassurance with my stomach in knots
pandora holds a piece of mind i've opened a lot
jotting thoughts even though my demons told me to stop
optimism, realism, theologists agree
that no matter what, it's all okay. it's only a dream
i left a note on the fridge that should be reason enough
to let this hate become a seasonal drug, read it and shrug
read it or weep.

This section reminded me a lot of Chance The Rapper. Why did you use battlefield twice, though? Was that an accident? I don't see much connection. "Stomach" not being pronounced with a hard O really threw off the rhyme there in a way I don't expect from your writing, but after a few reads I smoothed it out to work.

read it or weep. follow the sheep, i am leader of goats
making hall of fame worthy look like decent at most

Aside from the one verse that you wrote not long after creating the Hall of Fame thread, I mostly don't like these things in these verses because they detract from the universal nature of the verses. On the other hand, they humanize you and add context to your persona.

focus and you'll understand. believe it or don't
there is no good - only absence of the evil in folks
breathe into your center. let the chemicals float
soak inside the hologram and breathe into smoke
people are so terrified. it's really a joke
remember. no, anticipate. amnesia, she wrote

The ending here wasn't as strong as your endings usually are. As a whole, this piece doesn't measure up to your best work. It wasn't as interesting or creative, more an example of how polished you are at this style.

Maybe after you win this tournament we can collaborate.

[Split Eight]

god fucking dammit this was good.

[Mr. J]

pandora holds a piece of mind i've opened a lot

I would love to break down the whole piece like others before me
but this line alone is something that really does it for me...
your flow is still unmatched in all the years that have passed
but you dont need any reinsurance so cancel the Aflac

[dead man]

The best thing about reading old work like this, personally, is to be able to pick out individual portions that make me remember my life at the time it was written.

Every word is like an item in a capsule.

Thanks for upping this split. Hope you're doing well.

[Witty]

I mean, yeah...not much to be said that hasn't already been said.

Except for I think it was NYC who said you're overrated...Nah, you're rated exactly as you should be.

[Split Eight]

The best thing about reading old work like this, personally, is to be able to pick out individual portions that make me remember my life at the time it was written.

Every word is like an item in a capsule.

Thanks for upping this split. Hope you're doing well.

I can strongly relate to that. probably the number one reason to write, other than to improve

[Eŋg]

i mean, i agree with that, the usually forgotten sentiment encapsulated in rhyme form - evokes a sort of nostalgia. that familiarity or re-remembering kind of thing. though rarer, i personally enjoy reading back old work and coming across segments that make me think 'man, what the fuck was i on right then? that was some shit. poetry.' because i genuinely don't know, sometimes, how i even wrote stuff. there's folly in that question, though, i'm trying to capture something that would forever elude any sort of net. trying to vocalize the most intrinsic of feelings - tapping into shit from the ether. it doesn't happen a lot when i read back old work but when it does i feel a way i can't express.

but yea this was good.

oh also split i would say the best reason to write is to write, y'know.