Jimmy vs Ryan 12 - RYAN WINS

[Bender]

due tomorrow midnight ok? 12 lines

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=35524
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=35852

[Ryan 12]

ok check

[Ryan 12]

http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=40121
http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=39104

[Bender]

You should take off like Jets flyin’
Because after Jimmy wrecks Ryan, his career will be over…. like Rex Ryan’s
It would be better if you quit, or at least Duck the punches that I land to your chin
In a battle of the Wits, you’d do exactly that ^…..like your battle with him
I never liked this dude but don’t get Jimmy wrong
I’ll bring 12 to your door with the turkey sliced….like delivery from Jimmy John’s
There is something wrong with you Ryan I can’t put my Finger on it but I’ll try
Til Lars is like “Put it inside him, its fine, my girlfriend does it to me all the time”
I don’t have an Xbox one but Ryse getting played
Wearing a leather skirt that shows off his legs just like that guy in the game
I hope you burn in hell and after you die and you’re lyin’ in dirt
They’ll say the only thing worse than Ryan 12….was Ryan’s 12 lines in his verse

[Chyeahhh!!!]

shit was pretty chill

[Ryan 12]

I workout daily, my lifting is mint
But I only do it on the reg cuz it includes hitting the Jim
Seeing this dumbass, I keep laughin'
You ain't a complete idiot though, you're also 1/3rd retarded
Jim's a crossdresser, the gayest of dudes
He could pass for a fagg0t.. run, swim, jump & play for 1 too
Your whore is a gymnast in bed & the way she flexes is truly wicked
Had the bitch Archer body in positions for shots Robin Hood couldn't mimic
No one gives a flying fuck what this faggot wrote or said
I'ma call you alarm clock.. whenever I hear you I'll smack you on the head
I walk with confidence cuz it's a fact I'm sick
You'll never see Jim Carrey himself well - niggas just laugh at him

[Ryan 12]

open for votes

[Plot]

You should take off like Jets flyin’
Because after Jimmy wrecks Ryan, his career will be over…. like Rex Ryan’s
^liked the scheme
It would be better if you quit, or at least Duck the punches that I land to your chin
In a battle of the Wits, you’d do exactly that ^…..like your battle with him
^think your talkin bout chyeah, its a soft hitting personal
I never liked this dude but don’t get Jimmy wrong
I’ll bring 12 to your door with the turkey sliced….like delivery from Jimmy John’s
^Have to assume its a pizza delivery? but turkey on pizz? maybe this works? not yank
There is something wrong with you Ryan I can’t put my Finger on it but I’ll try
Til Lars is like “Put it inside him, its fine, my girlfriend does it to me all the time”
^haha, funny from the disc thread, but it comes off homo.
I don’t have an Xbox one but Ryse getting played
Wearing a leather skirt that shows off his legs just like that guy in the game
^yeah not a lot of work with the concept here. Just calling him gay.
I hope you burn in hell and after you die and you’re lyin’ in dirt
They’ll say the only thing worse than Ryan 12….was Ryan’s 12 lines in his verse
^Pretty cool np, bit generic coulda made it better.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I workout daily, my lifting is mint
But I only do it on the reg cuz it includes hitting the Jim
^Nice punch on a played wp, shoulda pushed it more
Seeing this dumbass, I keep laughin'
You ain't a complete idiot though, you're also 1/3rd retarded
^cant give it, its too old and done before
Jim's a crossdresser, the gayest of dudes
He could pass for a fagg0t.. run, swim, jump & play for 1 too
^wording is a bit off, I'll call it a punch
Your whore is a gymnast in bed & the way she flexes is truly wicked
Had the bitch Archer body in positions for shots Robin Hood couldn't mimic
^Shoulda gone for the Green Arrow instead, still a bit lacking
No one gives a flying fuck what this faggot wrote or said
I'ma call you alarm clock.. whenever I hear you I'll smack you on the head
^Im sure Ive heard it before
I walk with confidence cuz it's a fact I'm sick
You'll never see Jim Carrey himself well - niggas just laugh at him
^Def. heard the Carrey wp before and it kinda dosent work, still props for trying,

Very Close,
Hard to say, I think Ryan for concepts maybe.

[Ryan 12]

"I think Ryan for concepts maybe"


good grief how unsure can a vote get?




anyways thanks for the breakdown


1-0 me uppin

[Orc]

Ryan edged it. Didnt like any lines in this battle but ryan had a better grasp on what could be considered good.

[Bender]

uhhh ok

2-0 then

[Orc]

I liked ur opener. The rest jst lacked in creativity or harshness. Sorry for shitty vote im on my phone

[Bender]

No it's fine, too each his own i guess. no hard feelings on my end.

[Simon SeversTons]

My conclusion:

Jimmy - Okay, the first the line was nice wordplay with wrecks/rex Ryan. Thought it was ehh. Your second liner, I wasnt feeling that. I felt like you couldve written a different liner that stood out. Your 3rd liner was confusing because Jimmy Johns is suppose to be a pizza place, probably you didnt know that but yeah... that was a fail. Always have your refs on point. Your 4th line was filler, no direction of attack, no angle, not nothing I felt that was targeted at Ryan. The 5th line was a bit better than your other two lines, but it was meh/ehh after awhile, couldve rewritten it in a better way to make it a bit impactful. Your final line was generic, but a flip on his name again... not a bad verse, its mediocre at best, but I expected a bit more directed at me with punches more than wordplay.

Ryan 12 - Your opener was decent. I thought you and Jimmy started the openers decent. You couldve did more on the opener though. Even though your second line wasnt a nameflip nor a personal attack, it still dissed him but you need to say something thats not basic. Your third liner, was a hilarious jab but it still didnt work for me, sorta felt like a filler again, couldve brought more to the table that targets Jimmy. Your 4th line is ehh lol but the line was a bit better than the last two fillers you posted. 5th line was basic, but its props for trying... couldve did more with the nameflip to make it impactful towards Jimmy, the line comes off as basic and tasteless. Nevertheless, this was a chill battle, both had mess ups in a few lines, and points made.

MVGT: Ryan 12

[Bender]

I'm not trying to sway but I guess everyone is confused, I thought it was national chain..it is a sub place that delivers. hence the bring a 12 sliced turkey like a 12 inch sub...oh well.

3-0

[Simon SeversTons]

I looked into, Jimmy you are right. Its a sandwich shop. I now just checked it.

[pup]

jimmys opener was raw, he also had some good concepts in there, ryan had a good flow too, but ryans drop is confusing u say hes a fag? but then talk about fuckin his whore? so wouldnt that make u a fag? my vote goes to jimmy

[big baby]

Jimmy barely edged this one, it really, really depends on what you're looking for, and the time of day. Ryans was smooth in a lackadaisical manner, where as Jimmys had a longer structured feel to it. I liked Jimmy's. Ryan's was just too cool. Close battle. Jimmy.

[Ryan 12]

lost all respect for big baby


didnt expect u to go full retard but lol w/e



3-2

[Sicc]

You should take off like Jets flyin’
Because after Jimmy wrecks Ryan, his career will be over…. like Rex Ryan’s

Not feeling this, IMO. I think you could have used the entire REX/WRECKS Ryan word play and flip it differently to make it more of a relevant concept and effective punch.

It would be better if you quit, or at least Duck the punches that I land to your chin
In a battle of the Wits, you’d do exactly that ^…..like your battle with him

Personal? Not sure but cool? I can only assume.

I never liked this dude but don’t get Jimmy wrong
I’ll bring 12 to your door with the turkey sliced….like delivery from Jimmy John’s

Not feeling this simile - Statement'ish.

There is something wrong with you Ryan I can’t put my Finger on it but I’ll try
Til Lars is like “Put it inside him, its fine, my girlfriend does it to me all the time”

Not really feeling this one either.

I don’t have an Xbox one but Ryse getting played
Wearing a leather skirt that shows off his legs just like that guy in the game

Statement'ish.

I hope you burn in hell and after you die and you’re lyin’ in dirt
They’ll say the only thing worse than Ryan 12….was Ryan’s 12 lines in his verse

Not effective at all. Way to basic.

vs

I workout daily, my lifting is mint
But I only do it on the reg cuz it includes hitting the Jim

Jim/GYM is played as hell, but I'll barely give it too you considering you played off of his name.

Seeing this dumbass, I keep laughin'
You ain't a complete idiot though, you're also 1/3rd retarded

In my language Laughin/Retarded do not rhyme. But even so, wasn't feeling this.

Jim's a crossdresser, the gayest of dudes
He could pass for a fagg0t.. run, swim, jump & play for 1 too

Ehhh - Not really feeling this either.

Your whore is a gymnast in bed & the way she flexes is truly wicked
Had the bitch Archer body in positions for shots Robin Hood couldn't mimic

Wording kind of through this off a little bit and made it come off kind of statement'ish but it's cool, still had some effect.

No one gives a flying fuck what this faggot wrote or said
I'ma call you alarm clock.. whenever I hear you I'll smack you on the head

Concept was played back in 2000. Never liked them then either.

I walk with confidence cuz it's a fact I'm sick
You'll never see Jim Carrey himself well - niggas just laugh at him

Ok'ish. Play off of his name once again. Could have worked on wording this a little bit differently to land more of an impact but it's ok.

Overall - I feel Ryan took this with consistency of some what so called "Punches" and "Disses". Both need to work on your concepts (Fresher ones of course) and executing them. A lot of statement'ish material which takes away from the effectiveness impact of the punch/diss you are attempting. Keep writing tho fellas.

MVGT: Ryan 12.

[Ryan 12]

4-2 me


uppin

[Allen Knight]

Wits

Vs

Opener, archer


V/Ryan....I seen better from both, jim ur verse in the nbl was alot better than this
Ryan had a decent verse but seen better from him 2 quotes to 1 he edges this one

[H4ZE]

Jimmy: your puns didnt land as well as ryans did. Plus your set up lines were off imo. And you didnt take as many personal shots as ryan did.

Ryan:you atleast tryed to take more personal shots at jimmy. I felt your set up lines couldve been executed better as well as you couldve been more creative on the puns but I feel like your drop was overall better

Mvgt ryan for more personal and creative shots. Not an amazing battle but props to both for trying.

[Ryan 12]

thanks for the vote Allen Knight H4ZE


props to jimmy for showin


6-2 close please

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