MOTERHFUCKING WISE WAYS ROAST THREAD

[big baby]

http://i.imgur.com/Ahw7r6v.jpg

LOL @ this dude.

"mom can you take a picture of me?"

-- " no honey I'm busy fucking the landlord."

"mooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!"

lol dude took a picture of himself. Look like dull boy circa 2004. (jokes funnier if youve seen dull boy circa 2004)

lol leaned back to take a picture of himself. Take ninety three. Sweating. Doing a little kissy pose. "I hope this doesnt accentuate my muffin top" "I guess I can crop it out" "Wait FUCK MY hoodies closed" he says. Unzips his hoody a bit. "Gotta have them see the logo" he says. "Cool shirt I picked up from Old Navy"

lol @ your haircut. Goes to the salon his mom works at. "I want Jess to cut it. She does it the way I like it mom" Asks for square sideburns. Thinks its cool. Think it's opposite to the pointy sideburns. "Makes me look wise......wise ways...yeah that's what I'll call myself" Nerd. Crunches his forehead so it seems smaller to cover up the atrocity a haircut. Look like you eat toothpaste. Lol @ your throat/chin. Look like a mature rooster. Cockledoodledoo motherfucker. Wanna rhyme roast you, almost. Look like Joaquin Phoenix that eats Kleenex. Look like an extra in a movie where the extra has to invoke a white urban youth aura. Wearing blush. Blush on your eyebrows. Look like you're flirting with me through the camera. Picture for an online dating site. Taking a selfie.

"Look at my shirt, I'm so fucking wicked I smoke weed bro" lol. Pulled his baggy shirt up to cover his throat. Lowered the camera angle. Been on the news before for murdering kittens. Kitten murderer. Write wise in kitten blood.

Wise ways. Wise weighs 249 pounds. lol @ your jewish nose. Look like the cashier at gamestop. Posts this on his facebook. Captions the picture "umad bro?" next picture on his feed is a excerpt from the new Battlefield 4 game. "totes going hard in b4 dudez" picture of him blowing up a tank. No likes. His grandmother likes his fat smurf hoody picture. Currently in awe at the size of your sideburns. "use the brush to wipe the hair inbetween my chins, Jess" Mother rolls her eyes.

[Malachi]

lol

[Badweather]

this nigga looks like dolph lundgren went on a strict diet of milkshakes and brown hair dye

[Badweather]

this nigga got his momma's eyelashes talkin' like "respect me as a man"

[Certain]

The insides of his eyelids glow in the dark.

[big baby]

Looks like the fat kid from Matilda that eats the cake, but a grown up version. http://24.media.tumblr.com/wj9Eqnxmgmlvdl81Ibb1EgXco1_500.png

Thinks his shirt will get him laid.

[Certain]

He weighs as much as his three best friends combined, which is not to call him fat, really.

[big baby]

Usually if you take an outline of someones head you can tell it's a human. If you take a silhouette outline from Wise's head you can't differentiate between a pictogram of Jupiter or a tonka truck. Big ass head. Don't even know where it starts/ends. I'm thinking under his shirt somewhere.

[Badweather]

this nigga bought a hoody while looking for fat shoe laces.



this nigga bought a "flirty girl fitness" dvd to achieve a stronger kiss.



this nigga bought his shirt using his mom's lan line telephone when the nick at nite channel had an auction at 4 am.

[big baby]

Has tried committing suicide with his hoody shoe laces. Chews on them to savor the chicken he had before to keep him riding until his next meal. Collects his neck sweat in plastic bags.

[big baby]

lol @ when he tried to commit suicide his hoody laces slipped from the grease on his neck. "Wise ways get yourself together" he murmurs as he realizes his failed suicide attempt.

[Badweather]

this nigga got a square head but a round-about way of thinking

this nigga fell dick first into everything homosexual

[Badweather]

this nigga kissed his dad on the lips after finding out he was the only boy his parents ever had

[big baby]

Bats his eyebrows to work out. Practices kissing in the mirror. Takes pictures of himself kissing to achieve perfect kissing gesticulation. Memorized the words to Cry Me a River. Looks like Joba Chamberlain from the Yankees. http://image.cdnllnwnl.xosnetwork.com/pics25/200/ON/ONIOZRXLNVCEZTI.20060127201948.jpg

has a jersey with the initials W.W on it. Thinks he's walter white. Quotes one of his raps. Reenacts the scene with Hank. He's hank though cause he's fat.

[Badweather]

this nigga bleeds other people's dicks

[Badweather]

this nigga goes to dance recitals....


....to learn

[Badweather]

this nigga only got two hands...that's 10 whole friends he can count on

[big baby]

This is the face he gives his mother when he wants bananas diced into his cheerios and she says 'you've had enough bananas ji-" he interrupts her to say "CALL ME WISE!!!!!!!!!"

You can't give puppy dog faces if you look like you eat puppy dogs. Has a journal. Doubts himself.

[Certain]

Likes scary movies.

http://i.imgur.com/8RwameR.jpg

[Eŋg]

favourite hip hop CD is by CunninLynguists:

Will Rap For Food.

[Figgly Wiggly]

Looks like Jason Biggs fucked a Vince Vaughn pie

[Certain]

Perpetually just put Visine in his eyes two minutes ago.

[Batty]

That's an old pic, this dude grew up to be Otho from Beetlejuice.

He looks like Jimmy Kimmel: Street Artist

This is Sgt. Slaughter's gay nephew



One year for Christmas he got a Harry Potter vibrating Nimbus broom. This nigga stayed in his room for 47 days straight.

Gay Leno

[Certain]

Those lips suggest he may be part-b****.

[Badweather]

this nigga got a lazy face. i bet this nigga was asleep while his mom gave birth to him.

[Split]

Stratavario Bochsjaw

[Zen]

He looks like my neighbor.

[Certain]

His earlobes are scared.

[Split]

offered his opponent some really fantastic cost-cutting wardrobe advice at the last Portland Barmaggedon event

[Split]

Scratches his balls with cheese curls

[Split]

shaves with bong water and the edge of a Celeste Pizza box

[Split]

snarls at the mailman in every video game

[Split]

8th grade AIM screen name- FlashStevenson666

[Split]

learned sign language to communicate with elk

[Split]

has the headshape of a homosexual but the body of a faggot

[Split]

tells his friends he does poison hand jeet kun do

[Split]

Fulltime Study Hall Monitor

[Split]

God dealt him a 3-7 off-suit and an audible bowel movement

[Split]

had an affair with the Swifter from that one commercial

[Split]

current AOL screenname- CompassionateMilfHunter

[Ryan 12]

Eyebrows distance themselves based on Flat Earth topology

[Split]

reads Bodey poems over CB Radio

[Ryan 12]

Forehead nicknamed the great Mariana Bench

[Split]

rawn spent a week under his jawline, hiding from the cold hard truth

[Ryan 12]

"I think I'll upload this one, mom"

[Split]

never quite manages to finish introducing his fists at bar fights. Won't give up the gimmick

[Split]

Introsexual

[Ryan 12]

Oedipus Nex

[Ryan 12]

Theoretical theoretic

[Certain]

Listens to electronic dance music.

[Badweather]

the only human on earth that smoked weed that turned him gay

if this nigga's chin was a pocket, it'd fit my wallet and miscellaneous receipts

[Split]

Danica Patrick slammed into his brow line ordering IHOP after a race, mistaking it for a chicane at Watkins Glen

[Ryan 12]

Listens to electronic dance music.

lmao props for this

[Badweather]

this nigga ate 3 tablespoons of nutmeg, fell down the stairs and said "i definitely felt myself coming down"

[Badweather]

this nigga got enough room on his chin for an entirely different face

[Badweather]

this nigga puts on eyeliner before his debate club meetings

[Ryan 12]

fuck the fagg0t who puts those tags there show urself cow00t

[Badweather]

this nigga got a kid sister trying to raise him to be a "good man"

[Ryan 12]

this dude got the body structure of prehistoric bacterium

[Ryan 12]

Jaws 69 - How this franchise got gay as fuck

[Eŋg]

Introsexual

lol.

[Split]

Proud owner of dick lesions

[Badweather]

if it were raining dicks, this nigga would be the only person that got hit in the mouth

[Split]

Drinks meade from a shoehorn

[Split]

an overweight Michael Cera stars in this family thriller about a young man who discovers the meaning of friendship, while bingeing on SnakPaks and Jackie Chan Adventures

[Geno]

damn wise
for real homie?
lolololol

[Batty]

Once a month he dyes his dick hairs with Just For Men: Touch of Gray

Built an operational time machine once for the sole purpose of sucking a velociraptor's cock

Lives on a strict diet of ass fudge and sperm flavored fruit roll-ups

Has one chest hair named Leopold

In this pic is practicing his Zoolander pose: Xanax Face


Asked his barber to give him the "Jimmy Kimmel"


This pic is listed on photobucket under the tag: Zombie Smurf Shirt Faggot Chin Jpeg

[Wise Wiggles]

Likes scary movies.

http://i.imgur.com/8RwameR.jpg

Liver alone!

[Certain]

"Watch a few movies, take a few notes. ... It was fun!"

Wise Ways describing his slow-track American history class, in which he watched 1776 to learn about the Revolutionary War.

[Batty]

Once used his Xbox Achievements on a job application

At age 12 wrote Street Fighter homo erotic fan fiction where Sagat and Vega were in a romantic relationship.

Got a boner watching WWE Royal Rumble

At at 14 got his left retina scorched during a rumble candle battle with the puerto rican kid up the block

Shared a jockstrap with a classmate in gym once and got Athlete's Dick

Looks like a Jewish owl

[Wise Wiggles]

More ammo?

http://i42.tinypic.com/25hpdgk.jpg

[Figgly Wiggly]

Finally took the hoody off

http://i.imgur.com/0XWoqgy.jpg

[Wise Wiggles]

I'm fading away what's happening?

http://i43.tinypic.com/29bow9v.jpg

[Figgly Wiggly]

You bitch

[Wise Wiggles]

http://i43.tinypic.com/aazo6u.jpg

Me at the klan rally. In the middle motherfuckers. Haha.

[big baby]

lol @ your fake gambino ring. Got it at a 25 spin thing. lol @ taking pictures in an old navy mirror. lol @ you talking in a mobster accent after watching the sopranos and making your mom kiss your ring. "jeremy why do you want me to kiss your ring again honey"

CALL ME WISE WAYS!!!

[Wise Wiggles]

*zummiez mirror sir

[NYCSPITZ]

WW what u bench homie

[big baby]

lol @ brokeback mountain with the dude in the cowboy hat. 23 combinations of incest.

lol @ the RV meth labs. brokeback mountain breaking bad ass motherfucker. plays WoW professionally. Has a combo move called 'doing the garth brooks'. Plays ninja gaiden in his ninja turtle underwear. sacrificies time with his family to perfect his skecher sneaker collection. does karaokee at rodeo bars. eats his boogers while hes driving and thinks nobody is watching him. looks like george zimmerman before the murder.

[Wise Wiggles]

WW what u bench homie

Haven't lifted weights in years.

[Seyance]

hahaha, knew he'd look like that.. i thought skinny though, never expected him to be overweight.

[Wise Wiggles]

Over weight where? Lmao gooooooood one. Haven't ate nothing but liquor weed and cocaine for 24 hrs.. Fml