AOWL WK 3: Genocide (1-1) VS. Camp bell (1-1) [GENOCIDE WINS, 5-4.]

[King Ra.]

16 lines minimum, 32 lines maximum.

Verses are due THURSDAY at 11:59 PST.

Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/1 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!

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You must vote on 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.


TOPIC: If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.


Good luck to both participants. Genocide Camp Bell

[Geno]

Yep

[Camp Bell]

nike sign.

[Camp Bell]

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4477-AOWL-WK-3-zygote-(1-0)-VS-c-d-m-(0-2)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4481-AOWL-WK-3-dead-man-(2-0)-VS-pohfig-(2-0)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES


http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4473-AOWL-WK-3-Red-Glare-(1-0)-VS-TYSON-(0-1)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES

[Geno]

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4476-AOWL-WK-3-Mike-Wrecka-(1-1)-VS-Innovator-(2-0)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4472-AOWL-WK-3-Vinzr-(0-0)-VS-Aesthetic-(0-0)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4479-AOWL-WK-3-Frank-(2-0)-VS-Zenland-(1-1)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES

[Geno]

Mortar and block, a lot, enough to build a million floors to the top
porous -a mop, they suck the mixture in until the joints interlock
The hoist is noisy, it rocks, as square as can be, beware of the breeze
The beems for support seem arogant, keen, and carefully cleaned
couple set of stairs are complete, the marriott, its greediest member
Its been his dream as far back as he could remember, or better
Adolescence, teenage endeavors, the years that we gain our leverage
Too bad these days are measured, but his were just as rocky as yours
Immature, he hung with the wrong crowd -the more popular sort
Cocky rapport, jockies and whores, people who won't possibly flourish
The type to sting you once and die like the wasp and the hornet
That was his possie, enforcement, an entourage of endorsement
Back in the day they meant something -now they're not as important
Blue collar assortment, after highschool they were college abortions
Lacks of confidence, orphans, who dropped under the chairs
Didn't matter to him though -his fucking money was heired
In his twenties his parents, who were luxuries -both expired
So he suddenly owns their property, company, whole monopoly
Doesn't know shit about it, but wants to control it propperly
People who know him say he's a fuck up, a joke, a problem
And constantly bet when he'll be basically broke, forgotten
he's playing oppossum, knowing he's got it figured to stay rich
Figures he made it, but his accountant has different arrangements
Dipped in his savings, hasn't written down or kept track of his debts
But when you hire a guy you picked on, I guess that's what you get
Its the casket effect, when karma catches up to your ass
In this case, he gave his bank account stats to someone he harrassed

[Camp Bell]

TOPIC: If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.

the brain, it could change what we see as real or being fake
its the premise for all of our reality, the entrance to our fate
do you know how much energy it takes to think factually free?
...we're forever locked into this casket, never passing the key..
since birth, we've been embedded with the process of thought
it gets worse as we get older, for some, wats processed is lost
imagine this yall, losing the only place that we've really belonged
the minds mine, a deep cavern that only we can find through it all
...your locked in, everyone else is jus boxed out, trying to pry it off
everything starts with a planted seed, which grows into fantasies
trees left standing, giant tall, branches brandish damaged leaves
from termites of hate that stay biting logs you was planning to keep
...understand this, its deep.
only you can control the transmission of your minds automotive mode
i see an image or phrase, transition a way into the mind of all you tho
favorite this, i found waldo in my basement...or at least ima say i did
im coming with a descriptive crazy script, who are you to say i fibbed?
the minds way of depicting statements, there's no dismissing cases kid
but all you have to do is think...think...think...you'll get away with this
eventually, they'll conform to your lame attempts of explaining shit
this where the brain comes in, you gazing at the plays, its greatness
...wait a min, are you going to the matrix cuz thats where im taking it
we're just angels in the making, any decisions are made by the brain
it seems as if we're free to choose, where do you think freedom looms?
some seat of dudes in a secret room, nah, the deepest cerebral groove
thats the difference between me and you in the similar way thinkers do
im free to move but also prepped and preened for glue to a scenic route
pardon me, you seem stressed, confused, i've did the best i could do...
...the rest is up to you.


in my mind, i was free and able to do this piece. in reality, im also locked into
my minds thought process and bound by the decisions thats ultimately up to
my brain. hope yall enjoy.

[Zen]

Good battle fellas.
Genocide: Dope fucking piece. Your use of multis throughout was fucking legit and the flow remained intact throughout the entire verse. Mad props on that. Dope content as well. Really nothing more that I can say just an all around good drop.
Camp Bell: What up Camp!? Well I always enjoy your pieces man but this one seemed a little off to me imo. The stretched bars seemed to fuck up the flow in some parts for instance the processed is lost line. I would just recomending adding more inners in your lines that's what I do to not sacrifice the flow. But all in all I have to say I've seen better from you Camp but nonetheless a decent drop.

I gotta give the gote to Geno

[Inno]

geno

man. thats my first reaction right there. this was fucking dope dope dope man the story progressed so much nicely dude i mean
the progression was jut butter son. and the multis the easy floiw of your word choice was outstanding. the story..the story is waht
got me here. this was some deep shit, great imagery as well you capped it off with an even doper ending totally unexpected on my end
lol...what more can i say.

camp

you started this off doper than geno imho. i mean your language was very inviting, it felt like we where having this conversation and your telling
this tale lol...dope shit. your scheme was dope and you flowed smooth for the most part. the story though seemed to waver a bit from time to time
for lines up from "understanding this, its deep"...feels out of place from the beginning of your piece which was onpoint. the matrix line also felt out
of place. compared to the next 2 lines under the matrix line and the previous 2 lines..maybe im just being to picky.


overall

i think geno edged this with camps little bumps he had with his verse.. geno dropped a dam near flwaless story and execution of said story
camp didnt slouch either it was dope but compared to genos approach. i felt like his was a bit more concrete. dope battle fellas

[TYSON]

Dope battle....

Genocide...this is the best I've seen u come on AOB.

Mortar and block, a lot, enough to build a million floors to the top
porous -a mop, they suck the mixture in until the joints interlock
The hoist is noisy, it rocks, as square as can be, beware of the breeze
The beems for support seem arogant, keen, and carefully cleaned

Fucking dope nigga. Quoted that cause it Stood out the most. The whole piece was crazy with mutlis and metaphors. The story rode smooth too.

Camp bell.... don't think I've ever read any of your pieces but I have been sleeping. Very innovative and direct.


it seems as if we're free to choose, where do you think freedom looms?
some seat of dudes in a secret room, nah, the deepest cerebral groove
thats the difference between me and you in the similar way thinkers do im free to move but also prepped and preened for glue to a scenic route

Favorite part. Shit was ill.

But in all I got to give this to geno. As a whole it was just well written and multis galore and just stood out more in my opinion.

VOTE GENOCIDE

[Split]

Will supply details after I get back from a liquor run (been a long ass weekend) but I thought Camp Bell was rockier with his scheming and flow but Genocide awkwardly dropped his metaphor after a few lines, just a first impression, not casting my vote quite yet

[Aesthetic]

Geno

I felt like you rushed through it.
But your shit is also deeper on different levels

Camp

Reality is deep yo
you spit it




V/Camp, reality this week

[Split]

Will supply details after I get back from a liquor run (been a long ass weekend) but I thought Camp Bell was rockier with his scheming and flow but Genocide awkwardly dropped his metaphor after a few lines, just a first impression, not casting my vote quite yet

yeah. Genocide had an interesting beginning that was also leading somewhere probably dope with the topic but lost it... like the building bit, in the intro, like it was smoove as fuck and then kinda fizzled out and became a story about a d00d who fucks up and then life gets em w0w

camp.

explanation at the end was whack as fuck. js. any7ways the writing wasnt as lazy as i thought it was, it just flowed really easy, it was like too natural idk i just like complexity. the idea that your mind makes up memories just to lose them is true, then add that to the realization that it changes us in ways we dont know how and i liked your verse. trapped by the waste products of his imagination

v/ camp good battle folks

[Mike Wrecka]

good battle.

geno- way below what I expect to read from you. this was either keyed up quick or you were just not feeling it. iono. the story, didn't flow as well as your usual stuff and it was kinda boring. don't get me wrong, it wasn't a terrible verse, just way below your normal capabilities. overall, decent not great.

Campbell- strong verse man. your inconsistent. this was a week that you had everything going. I liked the take on the topic. and this line was slick

everything starts with a planted seed, which grows into fantasies
trees left standing, giant tall, branches brandish damaged leaves

branches brandish damaged leaves. awesome.

overall- it was close. but I got camp with a tremendous upset. thought his verse was deeper. and had some stand outs. good battle guys.

vote-camp

[Pent uP]

Geno -- This was a dope concept. I feel like the beginning dragged out the characterization a little too long - that would be ok in a higher line limit but I think the fact that this was a more confined line limit the story needed to pop faster. It wasn't too action paced but it did have some dope commentary behind it. The idea (really, the fact) of outgrowing the people you grow up with and how it changes you is super dope and something i've explored several times in verses - I find it very relatable. Flow was pretty well paced, some of the rhymes bugged me but whatever it was still dope. If I could change one thing I think i'd have the ending be a little more chaotic and a little less "this is what happens when.." Still a solid verse man.

Camp -- Very direct and borderline conversational. I liked that it was streamlined but at the same time you threw witted jabs about the topic. Some of the rhyming though, kind of got to me - felt a little forced, its weird. In a way it the (sometimes) awkward wording made it seem conversational but it still didn't really FIT for me. I think what I disliked about this piece the most is that you gave yourself so much room to say whatever and I found a bit of redundancy between thoughts and lines. It's like your idea was "this" so you incorporated "this" several times and just reworded it. It was a pretty cool drop but it felt a little bit sophomoric in comparison to Geno's

Vote -- Geno

He had the better rounded out verse in my opinion from concept to execution.

[dead man]

geno. i enjoyed your story. sort of a 'revenge of the nerds' climax. you unraveled different elements of the story subsequently as it carried on, almost gives the impression that you were just sort of coming up with ideas and rolling with it. the beginning seemed more open-ended and you just narrowed in more and more as you continued. it felt mechanically struggle-worthy at moments, like you have this rhythm and you are willing to sacrifice your diction to fill that metronome. im not talking multies here. strictly the 'flow'. but either way it was a unique spin on this and for that sir, i commend you. the essence was handmade but the shell looked a bit artificial..

campbell - i think i appreciated this because my submission this week moderately touched on a couple of the issues you raised. conscious and mind / brain. cogito ergo sum. youre using the brain as a parallel for a prison that holds our entire human experience hostage. it's always a fascinating subject to flesh out a bit and get people thinking. i think you kept a pretty good pace for your discussion. you did not use language that really articulated these ideas very well but everything made sense and i suppose it does show a real understanding for the concept. jargon is only as informative as the textbook index it came from. i wish i had more time to break down some of your content but this is a bit of a quick vote for me, which sucks cause i hate to make you guys feel cheated out of a decent commentary. post them in OM if you'd like a couple more viewpoints.

anyway. this was a really contrasted match, which is how i like them.

makes for a very difficult decision..

but if im weighing all my options

even though camp bell had a much better interpretation of the topic imo, he did not do the grandiosity of his ambitions any real justice here..

for that reason i have to vote for the verse i really enjoyed reading more, and felt gave a more impressive performance

GENOCIDAL

thanks guys.




1

[Ink]

Genocide: I watch too much discovery channel, so this stuff kinda bothers me... Wasps and Hornets can sting you multiple times without dying. I won't hold it against you, this time...

The rhymes were cool, but the off-rhyming was a bit too stretched at parts. (ex. heired and expired), and I felt throughout the piece that you were just stringing rhymes to glue together alot of lines that sounded nice but didn't work together very effectively..
The ending to the piece left much to be desired.. felt like you just pasted a twist in there to end the verse and be done with it.
That college abortions line was nice though.

Camp Bell:
My initial reaction was that this is an interesting perspective, definitely a unique take on the topic. I think your usage of ellipses (...) could have been better though.. I read the verse with and without them, and it seemed to hit harder without them. Some good lines in here though, I especially enjoyed your "branches brandished damaged leaves" line. But there were also places where it seems you stuck in words as filler to make the lines read smoother, but determining that is all subjective and I'm not docking anything based off that.. just something I wanted to bring up.

Vote: Camp Bell. What steered my vote was Camp Bell's take on the subject matter. Though there were patches in his verse that were a bit spotty, and I think the decision would have been a lot tougher if Genocide had a concept that was as intriguing.

[King Ra.]

GENOCIDE WINS, 5-4.