AOWL WK 3: Frank (2-0) VS. Zenland (1-1) [FRANK WINS, 7-1.]

[King Ra.]

16 lines minimum, 32 lines maximum.

Verses are due THURSDAY at 11:59 PST.

Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/1 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!

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TOPIC: God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.


Good luck to both participants. Frank ZenLand

[Zen]

Dope topic. Check

[Zen]

Control

Rocks crash and knock and splash molten ash
Til the focused blacks erosions causes implosions from molten stacks,
The heats expansion movin with swift speeds advancin
Aross the reaches of land then starts to cool into polar caps
And tears apart into pools which quickly turned to carbon fuels
Which levels the past with speckles of grass
With the Devil's laugh now reduced to trebles that crash,
Quickly things change as plains range for miles on end
And after awhile again then the tides begin
And life forms, And by man's beginning the planet is living,
They're torn with fear with tranced visions which can't be forgiven,
They grow into hordes with spears and with planned precision
Make the world a cage enswirled with rage, Forgetting the lord is near
Until the connection is lost, Not remembering that transgressions cost,
Life is dire but still we light the fire forgettin the loss,
Fuck the world and feed the heavens exhaust....

[Frank]

Ahem,



God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
God hated cages, inventing keys. Man loved keys and invented enslavement.
God hated enslavement and invented freedom. Man loved freedom, inventing rules.
God hated rules, inventing war. Man loved war, inventing doom.
God hated doom and invented hope. Man hated hope, inventing anguish.
God loved anguish, inventing art. Man hated art, invented language.

God hated language inventing paint. Man loved paint and invented walls.
God hated walls, inventing bombs. Man hated bombs, invented laws.
God hated laws, inventing religion. Man loved religion, invented church.
God loved church, inventing blessing. Man loved blessing, invented worth.
God hated worth and invented heaven. Man hated heaven, inventing sin.
God hated sin, inventing forgiveness. Man loved forgiveness, invented revenge.

God hated revenge, invented depression. Man hated depression and invented the weapon.
God hated weapons, invented drugs. Man loved drugs and invented dependence.
God hated dependence, invented the prayer. Man loved the prayer and invented belief.
God loved belief and invented truth. Man hated truth, inventing deceit.
God hated deceit, and invented remorse. Man hated remorse, inventing greed.
God hated greed, invented health. Man loved health and invented luxury.
God hated luxury, invented wealth. Man loved wealth, invented gluttony.

God hated gluttony and invented animals. Man loved animals, inventing zoos.
God hated zoos, invented jungles. Man hated jungles, invented ruin.
God hated ruin, inventing solution. Man hated solution, invented pollution.
God hated pollution, invented the tulip. Man loved the tulip, inventing communion.
God loved communion, invented justice. Man loved justice, invented wrath.
God hated wrath, invented destruction. Man loved destruction, invented mass.

God loved mass, inventing peace. Man loved peace, invented lust.
God hated lust, inventing love. Man hated love, invented trust.
God loved trust, inventing abundance. Man loved abundance, inventing consumption.
God hated consumption, invented corruption. Man loved corruption, inventing seduction.
God hated seduction, invented repercussions. Man hated repercussions, inventing nothing.

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds, inventing cages.
God loved words, inventing me. Man loved words, invented hatred.


-Godson

[Zen]

Yeah that's fine. No worries

[Geno]

Hmm..

Frank. Loved your take man. Feel like you killed it tbh. You went way in depth and pretty much covered a lot of grounds here.

I didn't like the repetitive "god" @ the beginning of each line. It really rocked the boat for me and made it annoying to read after a while. Not to take away from the direction you went in.. cause it was hella creative and unexpected.

Zen.
Loved what you did here. The multis and vivid pictures of the creation of life. The destruction and rebirth almosgt of everything around. It was pretty dope. Short and sweet.

Typically I love franks approaches and takes on a topic. This week is no different, I just feel the constant 'god' and the monotonous tone of the whole thingg killed it for me this week.

Tough loss, and honestly an upset imo.
But I got
V-zenland

[Inno]

interesting battle.

zen

i thought you brought it this week. your rhyming is on point throught out this piece. very descriptive language ccreating some dope imagery
you reall erros that i can see really i mean if im being picky, i wish it woudl of been a bit longer. cuz what you had was riddle with depth lol
good angle on the topic..

frank.

getting past the repeating phrases. this was some reall cool shit man. can i tell you that eveyr line made me thing. like some made me sratch
my head a bit. but dude, this was some real deep shit man. the prospective i et from each individual line is dope foreal. i think you took this
topic and ran with out the fucking door man, ill shit yo.


overall

i thought franks piece was strong enough to get past the annoying god shit. cuz it was just well written with some real thought provking lines. zen had a dope
verse to and to be honest it could go either way zen though he wrote a short one i felt he had enough content to make this battle dope. i thought frank got this
tho. creative take on the topic.

[zygote]

Thought Frank's writing was more interesting. Both were good, especially Zenland's rhyming and concise language, but enjoyed the word association a lot from Frank. Voted for Frank.

[Vinzr]

Ok this was nice, two different styles.....

Zenland came out with something quite riveting i must say. A bit short, but enough to get the message across and that's the way to go...short, concise but enough to give a lasting impression.

Frank had something very interesting, a risk but worth it. At times when you go with this type of stuff it can come across as repetitive, actually usually it does but in this case I thought it worked well in Frank's favour. The thing I liked about his piece was the ironic twists that he exposed in the lines

Ugh, hard choice here but I gotta give this to Frank, its just the overall effect his verse had on me that won him this one

v/ Frank

[Split]

I thought both writers came correct... Zen had nice mechanics and excellent imagery, but I thought Frank had an awesome angle that had a cool repetitive element that is more broad in scope on second glance.


V/Frank

[Split]

I thought both writers came correct... Zen had nice mechanics and excellent imagery, but I thought Frank had an awesome angle that had a cool repetitive element that is more broad in scope on second glance.


V/Frank

[Aesthetic]

ZEN

I like your work man

Frank

Equal levels but I found this more poetic

V/Frank


Ill be sure to drop better votes, just really braindead from last night.

[Mike Wrecka]

zenland - solid drop. good mechanics. good take on the concept. read like a tongue twister in spots. which was cool.

frank- extremely creative idea. and very well executed. I got sick of it quick though. it got repetitive. I just wish you wrote half the verse like that and the other half in your normal style. iono.

overall- franks extremely awesome concept against zens short but well flowing verse. zen if you wrote more I would have given it to you but it felt underwhelming because of the briefness of it. frank your concept wins the day.

vote-frank

[King Ra.]

FRANK WINS, 7-1.