Picture Perfect

[Spoken]

Picture Perfect


Life...with Pictures...
Its how we feel the struggles of our late brothers,
Its how we take measures of ourselves and others.

With our eyes burning - seeing is not just believing, its learning,
Its turning the pages n wondering the thoughts we're solemnly earning.
The more pain we see the more generous our world becomes,
Imagine being a refugee amd seeing a point of view through guns.
The world can be a painful place, look deep into a haven waste
both scraping plate yet ones needs only to believe in saving grace..
A picture is worth a thousand words, I’m sure you heard it before,
But what if it could make people feel pain free of poverty n war?
What if pictures had the power to devour racism n stereotypes?
Make you feel the injustice of someone’s life…
.. make a deadbeat feel happiness the of coming home to a wife?
I leave it to scientist to dissect what a picture does to the brain,
But it’s on the photographer to make you feel the laughter or pain.
Tons choose to advertise yet not thinking of the consequential frame,
knowing that once exposed ur a sole purpose for someone elses' gain.
You cant put the importance of pictures through time up on a chart,
There is a direct line from photographs to the eye straight to your heart.
They have power to make you laugh, smile n sometimes weep,
It’s the excitement of finding images that can touch us deep.

The details and what not search beneath my rumblin’ rage,
My thoughts of vanilla pages, cage an infatuation with me for days.
Cross paths of - happiness and pain….
I cross the pain to over power happiness in a clutched fist with chains.
These subtle images mean a hidden message just to get you,
Feeling joyous and some times like an African native refuge.
What if these pictures we so harshly speak of,
Were the reason for the world to turn…..
….and for the facts to be covered up?
Or is it the reason for tears to be falling,
The change of seasons within the years or fear to be calling?
Maybe both but who knows just be yourself,
Time waits for the ones who return the favor so lend some help.
I sit on this dusty couch, slouched, heart rigid and shit,
Ear drums tired of the melody that comes from a screaming bitch.
Sometimes I wish to twist the neck off and split,
that’s just a thought….
…. same metaphor as a picture with a little twist in it.
When I get exposed, drunk and belligerent,
I take photos and do some crazy posses cause I don’t give a shit.
.
.
.
What a shame it is… for what I speak to be true,
so here is a picture of yesterday...
... was bored and didn't know what to do.
http://th07.deviantart.com/fs5/300W/i/2004/328/0/2/You_Cut_Deeper_With_Every_Line_by_svimmelhet.jpg


a really old verse just thought id share it

[PancakeBrah]

With our eyes burning - seeing is not just believing, its learning,
Its turning the pages n wondering the thoughts we're solemnly earning.

^Opener would have been nice if you didn't use the word solemnly. No need for it, seems thrown in just to be more descriptive/deep.

The more pain we see the more generous our world becomes,

^I disagree.

I leave it to scientist to dissect what a picture does to the brain,
But it’s on the photographer to make you feel the laughter or pain.

^Cool.

These subtle images mean a hidden message just to get you,
Feeling joyous and some times like an African native refuge.

^Already used refugee as a reference earlier. Using it again without a tie in seems like bad wording.


The wording and editing was bad. Rhymes were simple. There were a couple of nice ideas in a few bars but for the most part it was meh. I could have continued critiquing a bunch of bars/lines like the 'solemnly' one I used to start out this feed, but that type of noise was everywhere. Easier just to categorize it as bad wording. Also, the picture made me cringe. Hate that shit.

Keep writing. Work on wording and editing foremost. Complexity next.

[Spoken]

Yeah this was an old drop just thought I'd share it like on some 06-07 shit lol


Thanks Pnacake appreciate it

[Matriarch]

The idea was cool.

Some great lines scattered about.

Look forward to seeing some of your later work.

[Geno]

Good piece.
Very descriptive first segment of what the idea of pictures really capture and your comprehension of what they are is. Thought your style was pretty fluent with rhymes and the patterns were well scripted in the first half.

The second half seemed like you were just tired of writing but knew you weren't finished and didn't wanna quit til it was done. Its good to see you have a determination in you, I just wish you would have took your time a little more with the second half. Flow seemed choppy and content started to stagger off imo. Good to see you posting for us to enjoy though. Keep dropping/stay active man. 1

[Split]

The details and what not search beneath my rumblin’ rage,
My thoughts of vanilla pages, cage an infatuation with me for days.
Cross paths of - happiness and pain….
I cross the pain to over power happiness in a clutched fist with chains.

allllmost slick. agree you need to edit more. all your drops are like, would be dope with grammar/ awkward wording issues that make them not. keep keyin.

[Mike Wrecka]

the opener was dope.

With our eyes burning - seeing is not just believing, its learning,
Its turning the pages n wondering the thoughts we're solemnly earning

and ya I feel like that bar is worded perfectly. disagree with the person that said solemly should have been left out. the syllable count is 16 then 17. without solemly it would have been 16 then 14. I think it works better the way you had it. anyway this was a nice drop but it dropped off noticeably as it progressed. good read though.