Bottle Cap Blues

[CopyPat]

It was harder than normal to open this beer. I started a porno, its loading…it’s here
Already plunked down when I yearned for a taste. So getting up now, was surely a waste
I got bottle cap blues after a long ass shift. And it’s all I can do, to have to not have a sip
But there's no f’n way I’m goin all the way up. Cause I know there’s plenty ways to open bottles with junk
I found a little knife that I could hopefully use. I’m scrounging with it like a guy that’s homeless would do
I’m panicking tryin to get this lid straight off. While attackin' my Heineken with switch blade saws
Finally! Crack! The greatest sound on the earth. I kinda lean back and take the bow I deserve
I’ll have one last gaze at this tall green beaut. Then it’s chug back pace till it all seems moot
Now I can relax, ass was busted this evening. Wow it hit me fast, but it was just what I needed
I soon realize the plan was crap to begin with. I'll need 2 or 3 supplied so now it’s back to the kitchen..

[Certain]

Heineken!

Heineken is terrible.

[CopyPat]

Thanks for the stellar feedback, i know u'll edit ur post though, at least i hope u do.

And wtf! Heineken is the beer of gods, theres something wrong with ur mouth.

[dead man]

heineken is delicious indeed. best thing out of holland.

this was awesome pat. i know exactly the type of feeling you had while writing this. nothing can beat that first post-work beer.

the first line, the homeless would do and switchblade saws were my favorite segments. you also switched your flow up a bit for this verse which was refreshing even in it's brevity.

dope as always man. legit made me thirsty for a heineken but i have not a one and its too fucking cold and probably too early to walk and get a 6-pack. oh well

thanks

[Wise Wiggles]

Cool short rhyming story my man

[Exis]

Lol...could be just me but I swear every time you do anythin' close to a topical it's about beer or food.This was a fun read man, it should appeal to most as a lot can relate to it but yeah this was a nice little flex.Your switch ups were pretty smooth and with the usual splatterin' of Multies flow wise shit was solid...enjoyable stuff.

And thanks for the feed bro,
Stay uppity.

[CopyPat]

hahaha ur basically right ex. but this ain't a topical homie, its just real life

[zygote]

Enjoyed the switch in rhyme scheme, limiting yourself to basically 2 huge multiple rhymes per line was a good technique, especially considering when you've usually written these with the rhymes extending on for many lines. By utilizing slanting rhymes you are able to create these fully rhyming lines - it is actually a proper thing called the "Holorime."