Pollutant

[Eŋg]

Spray your aerosol

Exalted rays of a golden hue crack
through a morn of mist, murk & chemicals: of hazy worth
as dawn breaks and reshapes an initially orange
- ultimately black -
brick underpass renewed with ever-changing shades of flagrant colour(s)…
Acryllic. Krylon.
Unfinished designs don the visitors’ sight on
the sidewalk. If they care too look: I care. Many don’t.
…A penny floats for my thoughts
As I finger an empty wallet burning a hole in my pocket.
(We rarely afford to think)
I link dots made - by hurried hip-hop kids –
With the propellant’s now dry deposits.
I’ve got it.
My fingerprints’
Friction ridges pick the spilt story from the lingered ink.
Panda’s chased them, in a pant and racing
The blue sky offers little shelter from the resident taskforce,
OR the elements; fast-forward
To travel time is elementary. Blackboards are backward,
They aren’t meant to be black: chalk comes in much colour,
We saw only white at our schools;
A dull monochrome order… to be ‘bright’ was to be fool.
And I was very stupid, so very loose-lipped
With tongue which colours grey matter, which was useless, then.
I’ve learned to accept the colour of yin & yang.
I watch silver threads dance a curlicue on an ebony head
And muse over Time. Regardless, our gift is mortality,
Thus clock watching’s a hideous construct, more candidly:
The cities upon dust that we live upon just impact
Concrete scars,
While singing fire make pyres of Gaia’s fringe.
If I put an axe through your mother’s axe wound
You’d be outraged: you’d outcry about my actions!
Hypocrites disregard the whole and revere the fraction.

Stay your aerosol. For what it's worth.

[Frank]

i'll huff to that

[zygote]

The different wording seems to be very precise and also concise. Enjoyed the economy of language and the different ways you were able to express things. E.g., "They aren’t meant to be black: chalk comes in much colour," - 'much colour' being a great diverse way to write, it would have been a lot less effective to word it like 'many colors.'

[Inno]

To travel time is elementary. Blackboards are backward,
They aren’t meant to be black: chalk comes in much colour,
We saw only white at our schools;

interesting set of lines here...no doubt the skills are on point..everything else as well..this feels like most of your piece ive read from you..but I have a feeling its just me though and not something you try to create...am I wrong?...but your thought process seems to be all over the place but with a calmness about it I cant explain lol. I almost find myself reading your pieces really fast...I like that...I like that your writing makes me do something I don't normally do...means you doing your job and keeping my attention thoroughly...dope ish man...wish youd post more.

[Exis]

The blue sky offers little shelter from the resident taskforce,
OR the elements; fast-forward
To travel time is elementary. Blackboards are backward,
They aren’t meant to be black: chalk comes in much colour,
We saw only white at our schools;
A dull monochrome order… to be ‘bright’ was to be fool.
And I was very stupid, so very loose-lipped
With tongue which colours grey matter, which was useless, then.
I’ve learned to accept the colour of yin & yang.
I watch silver threads dance a curlicue on an ebony head

^^That's fire.

A lot to always like about your shit man...vocab, imagery, creativity yeah it's often a great read when you post sumthin' and this is no exception....dope stuff.

Stay upwards.

[Vulgar]

The city itself is a pollutant, but law enforcement is all about suppressing the graffiti artist of Metropolis A. I can dig the message. The writing was all over the place for me. I can't get comfortable with your style for odd reasons. Your grammar is meticulous so I try not to second guess it, but your diction isn't flawless and is often characterized by awkward wording. It stifles momentum. It brings British schoolchildren to their knees. It made Semmy Schilt's back itch him for 6 days straight.

And muse over Time. Regardless, our gift is mortality,
Thus clock watching’s a hideous construct, more candidly:
The cities upon dust that we live upon just impact
Concrete scars,
^This was the significant point of the piece where it made connections. I wonder if longer bars would be an interesting change for your style. Maybe it's a pet peeve I have with sudden line breaks blooming with Windsor phrase, I dunno.

Keepitup, thanks for peeping my work.

[DexLabb]

I like this : A penny floats for my thoughts

[dead man]

The blue sky offers little shelter from the resident taskforce,
OR the elements; fast-forward
To travel time is elementary. Blackboards are backward,

muse over Time. Regardless, our gift is mortality,
Thus clock watching’s a hideous construct, more candidly:

eng i always read your works multiple times before daring to make a comment. this time was no different. i sensed many layers but drew out two central concepts - one being the psyche of the graffiti artist, and two being the atmospheric effects of aerosols. i saw a ceiling of ruined o-zone and a plant growing inside a greenhouse gas.

i think you could improve your scenery. to that end, i want to see the concrete scars. i need brickyards and chrome tracks. i mean the way a person digests any verse is more an individual process than a shared experience but i stay in a place in which this is something is deeply ingrained in our cultural expressiveness.

you have the ability to hammer in one-liners with powerful phrasing but your downfall is the lack of continuity of that wattage. you have contained your tendency to be overly verbose and for this i thank you. i liked this piece and was truly happy to see you post something full and fleshed out. you have many more of these in you, its all about surrounding yourself with inspiring people, places and things. read, watch, speak. you have a thousand stories to tell.

thanks eng. ill keep an eye out



1

[Eŋg]

no thx, pg 2.

[Wise Wiggles]

some slick parts in this one. thought it picked up at 'resident task force'.

PCE

[Scripter]

I liked the word play, very precise rhyme coupling and a sick flow.

My favorite part seemed to be a reference from Pennywise the clown from Steven Kings It? "we all float down here"???

"the sidewalk. If they care too look: I care. Many don’t.
…A penny floats for my thoughts"

Great read!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Hwi9bvEA4