AOWL Week 4: Pryde (0-0) VS. Adonis (0-0) [ADONIS WINS, 7-0.]

[King Ra.]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum.

Verses are due THURSDAY 3/7 at 11:59 PST.

Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/8 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!

You MUST check in.

You must vote on at least 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.


TOPIC: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdIY-JFDc-U


Good luck to both participants. Pryde Adonis

[Adonis]

Checkers


Pohfig vs. Frank (http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4643-AOWL-CHAMPIONSHIP-MATCH-pohfig-(3-0)-VS-Frank-(3-0)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES)


Split-Eight vs. Aesthetic (http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4637-AOWL-Week-4-Aesthetic-(0-1)-VS-Split-(2-1)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES&p=26335#post26335)



CDM vs. Mac (http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?4635-AOWL-Week-4-c-d-m-(0-3)-VS-Mac-(1-0)-OPEN-FOR-VOTES&p=26349#post26349)

[Greed]

here. on the xbox gonna need a direct link to the topic i cant see.

[Adonis]

it's Kendrick lamar - Backstreat Freestyle instrumental

Sure you can get it off youtube or what have you.


I'll be posting tomorrow...not sure if extension is needed as..."Verses are due THURSDAY 3/7 at 11:59 PST."
to me reads friday @ midnight

[Adonis]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdIY-JFDc-U

~Topic: The Beat/Original Song~
~Title: Untitled~


Martin Had a Dream...


Kendrick Had a Dream...


Adonis Have a Dream...

Starts @ .25 Sec.

Was never given nothin, had to fight for repercussions,
As I write...I'll shed light - while I repo this percussion,
re-construction of a verse. Yes Adonis will emerge,
Leaving Kendrick in a backstreet concussed beside a curb,

It's a beat... and she's mine, fuck a street and in-lines,
On my grind, eating Brie - and sipping fine wine,
You're from Compton? I'm not, never slept in cell blocks,
I don't slang drugs, just vernacular – I'm well off,
Tip your cap to this boss, High-hat snatch – Randy Moss,
I rap - I floss...You rap - I Pods.
I applause...
Your business dropping jaws...The broads...
These vixens - swooning for incision,
the diction is there mission as they lie in that position
No, I might not have a gimmick but I'll paint myself a cynic,
Van Goghing every sentence, making fortunes with out limits.
Peep the image - These tats... make me blacker,
White tee and black cap, now ain't that dapper
Hood raised and blood crazed - a nigga who truthfully...
Rhymed his way through the rock, from the drug to the jewelry.
This rap shit ain't nothin new to me...

Peep the real life...

......

A spic. A ghost write?
A man with two kids who show him love on most nights,
Twenty-six and so nice, donates words to AOB,
And votes thoroughly on images he reads,
Penmanship? Indeed - He's linguistically,
Not the brightest light in the sky – but he dreams to be...

[Greed]

Start when actual verse would start





God damn shits changed, wouldn't you say the same?
From baggy to tight pants shouldn't you blame the game?
All women is beautiful, and all you niggas lame
And against pryde in the studio all you niggas is tame
And man I'm high rollin, man I'm high rollin
Man I'm high rollin around with my mind focused
On not much other then pussy and fine doja
Yeah I said i'd quit.... but I be lying and you know this
Quoted after after a bake, hoes is kendrick and drake
If they had approached me with that tape I would have openly shown hate
So much for the wake, pac could you relate?
I would type down his response but he cursed too much for my taste
You fuck niggas is clowns, lost and never found
And I be offering shots till I've emptied another round
Killers give me dap, connects give me pounds
And Strikta will be callin julo if ANYBODY MAKE A FUCKING SOUND
..... God damn I'm high rollin, damn my mind open
Man I'm high rollin around with a dime that be blowin
On the most fire kush found between the flyest coasts and
If you don't know where that's at then you don't get a vote

[Split]

Up over EXTs

[IamBenT]

Great battle, and the beat is so FIRE!!

Adonis - Only maybe one or two places where i couldn't catch it, but it is very obvious that you have a great deal of skill and ability and matching a beat, especially one as unique and catchy as this. I feel that the swagger was ridiculously off the meter, the flow was just spectacular, great word choice and imagery, not the same ol same ol, you actually make it fun to read a verse on flossing and bitches! At the same time, the sense of arrogance mixed with hunger was real refreshing to read with the beat as the backdrop. The shift at the end where we "peep the real life" was a great way to flip the concept of the verse on its head.

Pryde - I liked some parts to this verse, I felt the lines were perhaps a little too long and could have used some parsing but this is something I suffer from as well. I feel like you took an angle at it that was a little too similar to Adonis and that's why this verse didn't shine to me as I felt it could have. It's obvious that you have talent, but some of this felt more off the cuff than planned and thoughtful. Plus there was no extra angle like Adonis had at the end.

Vote - Adonis for a more thorough and enjoyable verse

[Zen]

Good job showing for your first week fellas.

Adonis: Dope verse truly. The verse literally got better the further it went into it until the end to me was a little blah imo. But all in all I see you've got some real talent man. You really showcased that around the Randy Moss lines that was just a sick flow you had there forreal. Props this week.
Pryde: This verse seemed to me from the start to have the flow a little fucked up. Some of the lines were long winded as hell and your verse suffered for it imo. Some of the lines just seemed like you weren't even trying like the niggas is lame niggas is tame line. Maybe that's just me but I felt like you didn't come with everything you had.

Overall both guys went in the same direction with this topic, but imo Adonis had the better take on the topic.

[Aesthetic]

Adonis:

Your drop was fluid and really on top for the most parts, practically a song ya know what im sayin. Not many problems besides "On my grind, eating Brie - and sipping fine wine,"
But shit was dope, really jealous of the beat.


Pryde:

"From baggy to tight pants shouldn't you blame the game?"

God damnit that bar is real, and I fucking hate it at the same time. Your wording is chilly chill but dont repeat yourself so much this is text league not some weezy shit. Which im sure you can assume I fucking hate weezy.


V/Adonis

Better excecution and came tighter.
nigga pryde sounded like lil wayne, shit AINT tight.

[Mike Wrecka]

nice battle fellas.

Adonis- I was impressed with your verse. first stuff I read from you. nice flow and it was easy to read but contained a fairly complex structure. good job. nice direction. the second part I didn't love but ya overall the whole verse just seemed way too short. stretch it out next time.

pryde- good stuff. nice flow. that opening bar was cool. I feel like you possibly wasted some space with the repetitive lines. and your was also short

overall- it was fairly close. both took the same direction but I enjoyed Adonis verse more. was a bit more complex and kept my attention a little more. good battle.

[patrown]

adonis - felt the layout more overall. can't say much else cuz i'm low on time but i felt how you came it it more.
It's a beat... and she's mine, fuck a street and in-lines,
On my grind, eating Brie - and sipping fine wine,
You're from Compton? I'm not, never slept in cell blocks,
I don't slang drugs, just vernacular – I'm well off,
too honest.. and still fit the feel of the beat well.
pryde- although you did come with some real statements.. the repetitive words/phrases killed it for me.
All women is beautiful, and all you niggas lame
And against pryde in the studio all you niggas is tame
all women is beautiful .. against (me/pride).. just a bit generic for my taste. still enjoyed the verse but lost me at parts.

/v to adonis for the flow really. jumping between syllable counts was a major + with the beat.

[Inno]

good battle...dope beeat


overall i think adonis captured the feel to the beat with a more complete effort...i say that because i feel like pryde technically did enough
to win this and tbh i dont see to many flaws in his verse..so my vote is based off personal preference.
i felt like adonis captured the beat to a T...with a complete beginning middle and end to the verse...he was able to evoke some dope emotion
with his words and he painted the scene with his words a bit better..pryde i felt like there was something missing with the verse..can quite put my
finger on it..but thats it right there...after reading both verse adonis' effort left with me with less doubt...good battle

[Mac]

adonis- dope ass flow. enjoyed the whole piece & the beat. really smooth. the rhyme scheme was dope all thru the verse. good shit overall.

It's a beat... and she's mine, fuck a street and in-lines,
On my grind, eating Brie - and sipping fine wine,
You're from Compton? I'm not, never slept in cell blocks,
I don't slang drugs, just vernacular – I'm well off,
Tip your cap to this boss, High-hat snatch – Randy Moss,
I rap - I floss...You rap - I Pods.
I applause...
Your business dropping jaws...The broads...
These vixens - swooning for incision,
the diction is there mission as they lie in that position
No, I might not have a gimmick but I'll paint myself a cynic,
Van Goghing every sentence, making fortunes with out limits.
great flow all over the quoted part of the verse, consistent rhyme scheme.

pryde- this had potential to become something bigger but its too small. some lines are stretched. too large and lacked a better rhyme scheme. lacked some stuff, more creativity. seen before

On the most fire kush found between the flyest coasts and
If you don't know where that's at then you don't get a vote

probably nicest part of the verse, the rest wasnt new. looks rushed overall

v/adonis for a more enjoyable verse. the flow was dope and the imagery. good battle.

[King Ra.]

ADONIS WINS, 7-0.