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View Full Version : AOWL Week 4: Red glare (1-1) VS. Innovator (2-1) [RED GLARE WINS, 4-3.]


King Ra.
03-05-2013, 06:15 AM
16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum.

Verses are due THURSDAY 3/7 at 11:59 PST.

Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/8 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!

You MUST check in.

You must vote on at least 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.


TOPIC: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UXkCz4HPaw


Good luck to both participants. Red glare Innovator

Inno
03-05-2013, 07:40 AM
Yo

Red glare
03-05-2013, 02:34 PM
What It Do

Red glare
03-07-2013, 04:00 PM
im finna take my sweet time with dis one.....ext.......

Inno
03-07-2013, 09:47 PM
yup

Inno
03-08-2013, 11:36 PM
start at :04 seconds i guess




Yo…..yo

my verbal’s touching biblical
You skeptical? Don’t doubt the factual
I’m actual the one and only statue of
There are no clones only foes getting stepped on
And those slept on wishing they would press on
But I’m the catalysis my hand are full of calices
Come an try and battle this I swing axes bitch
To protest yah whole axis kid, call me math activist
No one is better when I’m at this, with no practice
I’m a savage when the bass hits you couldnt manage
Fish outa water with yah ass lit

(Just a simple flow
Rocking it slow so you can understand
The undertone, so listen close..

...And I’m never one to boast
And I’m never one to boast)(2x)

yo

I’m a linguist with the lyrics
Every letter is a pivot to a different image
You dudes is pestilence
Mean while I'm shitting excellence
An feeding it to you faggots for breakfast
So when you throw it up, maybe then
You can say you spit the best kid.
malevolently excellent.
My flow is wretched you couldn’t test it
I wouldnt suggested it but if yah ego's starved
come..on..down and get a taste kid
Its basic, the 1-2’s got you seeing double the shoes
So just face it I’m ageless
That means my words’ll live on even after I’m faceless
I’m writing pictures with my words
Lend me an ear I got many styles to serve
And if I swerve, ill swing it back
Repeat the track and redo the same curve
Come on….

(Just a simple flow
Rocking it slow so you can understand
Te undertone, so listen close..;

...And I’m never one to boast
And I’m never one to boast) (2x)

Red glare
03-09-2013, 02:36 AM
Broken home - tenement mold
Ten below - stove open - watch the temperature grow
Heard the rose in the concrete - never arose
Niggas work the register before registering to vote
There ain't a hater who don't hope I fail
Don't hope I sail my boat across oceans - explode on a whale
When the coast is clear
Look who's on the other side of the moat prevailed
Man my brother from another, he come from the south
Other day he told me something that made me shutter and sshout
"Plastic covered the couch, jacket covered the blouse"
"Hat covered the bun that covered her scalp"
"She wrapped her son in covers and bounced"
"Then somebodys hand covered her mouth and the news cast covered her house"
Casket covering a spouse
Smoking all this weed, no covering the doubts
Never judge books by their covers taking cover in a drought

ZeeDee
03-09-2013, 04:34 PM
Innovator, what is it that you're writing about here cuz the chorus says ur not the type to boast and that allre the content does so...... what's the point of the chorus... seems pointless.... flow was there and there was actually some decent lines in there... I guess this was like a keystyle session which is cool. A lot of cliche brag punches, but it read smooth enough and kinda felt like being in an old school flow circle.

Red glare, name fits.. this was a spark of fire. Some pretty nice lines and you had content that at least was note worthy. The flow was cool and the clever use of covers in ur ending showed me you can write and put together a story even when inspired. Short verse to do that in, but I guess this was uninspired. It still showed some nice skills and good development of a story that was very very short.

ZeeDee
03-09-2013, 04:36 PM
Vote red glare... my bad, forgot that part in the first post

Zen
03-10-2013, 12:47 PM
Good battle.
Innovator: WAY different approach from what I've seen from you before haha. Still a good drop like Zee said it seems like an old school type of rhyme. Gotta say I've seen better from you but it was still a nice piece I just wish there was more content here imo but you definatly in my mind had the superior rhyme scheme.
Red glare: Good drop. Idk if I've even read a piece from you before but this drop here was pretty good man. You had the much better content in this post compared to Innos piece but your rhyme scheme I felt paled in comparison to Inno's. But nonetheless nice drop.

My vote this week has got to go to Inno. Dope rhyme scheme wins the day plus I dig that old school shit haha. Props to both guys

Split
03-11-2013, 02:04 PM
Aite... Tough, thin beat to work with. Inno went with a flex, and Red Glare went for a short story/ vignette almost

Both pieces were really short and self-contained so idk how much of a breakdown I need... Inno's wordplay was okay but kinda Lil Waynish, it was simple and clipped into couplets instead of building up steam or bein used to link together imagery or as the punchline to a flex bar. It was okay, the way I read it, it matched the beat but played it safe with the short bars yo. Not Inno's best, but nice and not too wordy or ambitious.

Red glare's piece was like a cool excerpt to a fully fledged verse.. Imagery was nice and the lines of speech interlaced well with one another, tho you shoved a lot of content in like this was the meat of a larger piece. In the end it was a cool image but you tried to give it a plot and and a conclusion and a twist, and it definitely needed more to make clear what your angle on the topic was... Left confused but intrigued wanting more


V/ innovator.. Played it safe and Red Glare rushed and tripped over himself

TYSON
03-11-2013, 06:40 PM
Inno... the chorus was out of place bro but I think it was sarcasm. The flex was decent but I know u could do better then that. That second half was the best in my opinion. Nice wordplay and scheme.

Red glare....your verse went every which way. The 4th -7th line did not fit the verse at all cause it started off as a story then u big upped your then back to a story. The writing ability is there but your conscious thought kinda scatters if u know what I mean.

Vote...innovator for a better overall piece.

Adonis
03-11-2013, 07:39 PM
Innovater - To be completely honest, I wasn't a fan of your verse at all bro. I mean, it flowed, but honestly I know guys who freestyle that shit and quite frankly, do better as far as content goes. You used multi's quite a bit which I love, but yours seemed generic... axe bitch, axis kid, activist... Sure they don't sound horrible while reading, but they don't truly flow IMO. I also thought there were word errors such as catalysis, I mean I guess it could make sense but only as a stretch. Then the Chorus... IDK, I know most people flexed this week given the topic, I just feel like you literally rapped about nothing other then you saying your better then everyone else...this verse didn't prove so. Sorry for coming off like an ASS, not my intentions but I value honesty for elevation purposes.

Red Glare - I loved the first two bars, the 2nd being the bar of this battle with ease. This was a short story, very short, about your friend who had a wife and baby but the wife was murdered? I feel like this was key'd up very quick, there was much to be desired. It flowed with the beat OK, but the "shutter and shout" threw off the flow quick. Surely you could have found a synonym of either that rhymed and fit the previous lines syllable count. IDK

Vote - Red Glare - What I'm about to say is Ironic, but I felt Glare's verse was more complete. He had meat to his verse, it had direction, however not much, but it went somewhere and gave me a bit of emotion, not much but some, and meant something. While reading his counterparts verse I began and finished and didn't think twice about it and probably won't . It was just something else I read today.

Mike Wrecka
03-11-2013, 08:31 PM
ok cool battle.

innovator- you basically flexed. but it wasn't that great of a verse and I think you know that. mechanically it was simplistic. I think you were uninspired. you wrote about nothing at all and if your gonna do that you better wow me with some metaphors and insanely complex structure. that didn't happen. no hate my dude. I just expect more from you.

red glare- started strong. had a poetic feel and cadence. got real off track towards the middle and end. started to feel like ramblings a bit. but it had a theme at least and you stuck to it. I also liked your structure more.

good battle fellas. thanks for the reads.

vote- red glare

Vinzr
03-12-2013, 03:55 AM
Hmm...inno i thought your verse was kinda rushed and seemed a bit too simple for my liking. I mean, there was definitely an approach but i didnt think it was developed enough through the way you executed it. Idk maybe it's just to me though. Red, your stuff was nice..had a smooth flow but like Inno i thought yours was quite simple as well. However i do think you had an idea of where you were going with the piece and got it across.

Hard one for me....but i think Red takes this one. I personally thought he was able to execute his ideas across better

v/ Red glare

King Ra.
03-12-2013, 06:11 PM
RED GLARE WINS, 4-3.