I called Veritas.

[Joe Metts]

He's just a regular white person for anyone interested.

And i think its gayer to board with people then to call them so hush with that bullshit lol

[Scott Akers]

He's just a regular white person for anyone interested.

And i think its gayer to board with people then to call them so hush with that bullshit lol

you forgot to say no pun intended lol.

[Witty]

Gay is having sex with another man in the anal cavity.

Boarding nor speaking involves that.

You coo'

[Joe Metts]

You take gay to literal faggot.

I meant suspect, weird etc.

And by faggot I don't mean having sex with men i mean faggot as in smart ass, dumby etc.

[Witty]

You take gay to literal faggot.

I meant suspect, weird etc.

And by faggot I don't mean having sex with men i mean faggot as in smart ass, dumby etc.

One's buttocks can not be intelligent.

[Dominate]

It's more fun to think of him as a derranged lunatic. Stop spoiling it.

[Joe Metts]

My bad.

[veritas]

I can play many roles...joe wanted peace, so he received it.

[~RustyGunZ~]

i texted veritas once

then he sent me pictures of dogs in lobster costumes for at least 6 months

[Joe Metts]

Lol yea i can't get mad over a telephone. I mean i can but it seems useless.

[Ghost1]

Dead@lobsterdogbombs

[Ghost1]

Oh& what did u guys talk about

[veritas]

He at first said "what's up faggot?"

I calmly told him : " you do not want to start cursing me and yelling at me, you will not win going that route joe metts".

He then settled down and we talked about how he does not feel as successful as some of us on here, but thinks most people lie. Also how just about every member here has called me, and that he should not be ashamed...also about his plans to become a sports writer. He was a cool dude

[~RustyGunZ~]

Dead@lobsterdogbombs

i bested him with a sketch of a lobster in a dog costume and he no longer sent them

veritas can be defeated if you use your wit

[veritas]

Ha! ^you know that is not true francis

[~RustyGunZ~]

admit defeat, lesser being

[veritas]

I will allow you to tell three more lies for a total of four lies....go:

[~RustyGunZ~]

you have hair, your dog doesn't hate you and you totally have a phd

[veritas]

Well done Francis! Want to hear me tell four lies?

[~RustyGunZ~]

it's a free country

[veritas]

That lie does not count

[Joe Metts]

Veritas had to take his daughter to beauty contest. Didn't get much talk time. Lol.

[Split]

Veritas has a daughter?

[Joe Metts]

I won't mention anymore of his part of the convo lol

[bleak]

c.d.m. what's your number?

[Ghost1]

I won't mention anymore of his part of the convo lol

Obliterated. Lol.

[veritas]

It's cool joe metts, he is a cool dude, he humbled himself and acted like a man. He is trying to figure his way out in the world and was honest and didnt try to be tough like alot of you other lames do when you call (you know who you are).......so yeah for being courageous and honest and humble...John metts respect +1

[namix]

if veritas' line is busy you can call into a valley, converse with your echo, lose a debate with it and gain insight in the process.

True self-evaluation is an art few master in a lifetime, but V can mold into anyone's echo... it's impressive to say the least.

There are only 2 others i've ever met (in real life) that utilize this skill anywhere close to as well as V. Of them, only one 'lives it all the time' -- and of that one, the tactics are the same but the intent is far more selfish than V's appears to be.

The individual is such a chameleon (which can be good or bad depending on intent), that you never know 'him' -- the difference is, that individual is a true narcissist, to the degree that he can temper his own ego temporarily to manipulate the egos of others.

Veritas, out of curiosity, what percentage of your calls are outbound? with board members and/or irl.

[veritas]

you flatter me. Tbh I was trying to grow up a little when joe metts called. He at first attacked me, and the old me, would have blasted, but I decided that I would be peace, and he retorted with peace.

Nam: It is literally my job to build rapport. I have learned (from many mistakes trust me) I believe how to do that, the hardest people to build rapport with are narcissists, and sociopaths....

You are right....Like i told metts on the phone yesterday: "I exist to show people what they need to see in themselves..."

Joe metts needed reassurance that his life would be ok, and he is nervous about his career prospects, but came to the conclusion that he could set up his own blog and have fun exercising his passion.

I used to use these boards as research into collective narcissism and in-group vs out-group homogeneity, but now my mission has changed. I would love you to call, I am sure we would have much to discuss sir.

The trick is to find out what level the person you are talking to is on, and then just be half a level higher.....you pull them up. dig?

6019173913 do not be ashamed. I have talked to quite a few people on this board, but will respect confidentiality, just know alot of people have called and or texted.

[veritas]

alot of people call text me...i only text a few people and seldom call anyone outside of work tbh.

[Rawn M.D.]

Veritas has yet to encounter my narcissism...

[veritas]

HAHAHAHAAAAA@@@

we have ALL encountered your narcissism tony.

[Rawn M.D.]

'okay im reloaded'...

but not over the phone...its much more abrasive to those who aren't myself.

[veritas]

you have a grandiose ego....delusions of grandeur, and are as of this moment, without my respect fiend.

[Rawn M.D.]

That is fine; only where are these 'delusions?'
Everything, although u may think may be embellished or even fictions, that I post is truth...
Its okay though, I do not fault you for it...
those who have not experienced things of the sort,..find it easier to brush them off as 'delusions.'

I mean everyone would doubt me if I said I go shark diving w/o a cage...
then I post a pic of me doing it...

[veritas]

please post said pic, because right now the fact that you are attempting to take a thread about me, and make it about you, is proving my point Robert.

[veritas]

please post pic of you shark diving without a cage...i want a pic of you sticking your head in the sharks open mouth while you are giving him a rim job with your finger......snickers....:p

[Rawn M.D.]

Veritas, I will not oblige...doubt if u want...plenty have seen.

[~RustyGunZ~]

veritas can u help me with my nicotine addiction

[Rawn M.D.]

i anticipate a response along the lines of an oral fixation...

[veritas]

My lord and savior Jesus....rawn you are like aids mixed with cancer to great threads.

Wrong about oral fixation. Run the cbt route!

Knuckle: On a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to never smoke another smoke again sir?

[~RustyGunZ~]

i dip

and i've been trying for like 6 months now

[veritas]

Tell me about your dipping habits please?

[~RustyGunZ~]

tin and a half every 2 days about, used to be a tin a day

[veritas]

what new stressor came about during the rise in your usage?>

[namix]

Knucklehead - I dipped for years. While the path to quitting any addiction is different for each individual - if you are strong enough you can subjugate the path most take to 'kicking their habits' (from patches, to avoiding key 'triggers' in the day, etc), and cut to the chase.

The overarching trick is to remind yourself that you are choosing to allow yourself to be addicted. Literally, it is a natural trait in our species to "become addicted" to something -- much of it stems from our existence in a world bound by time, as deep as it may seem. We want to 'break out our time' by creating cycles with personal rewards, some big (annual trips to vegas), some small (happy hours on friday after a work week), some controlled (doing harder than normal drugs for a friend's bachelor party), some less monitored (dipping throughout the day).

By knowing this you can recognize the power and importance of "filling the void". Folks who 'fall off the wagon' tend to do so because they tried to quit through 'sheer will' - they suffer the most day-to-day as they avoid their 'rewards' - and one day allow themselves to manipulate themselves - to give themselves a 'reason they should be allowed to, say, dip again' (from a crazy finals week in school -- to an old friend in town visiting -- to the death of a loved one).

The people that are successful tend to fill the void with something else... many of us know a "smoker" who quit and starts again and quits again -- and many of us know one who quit and never picked it up again. The successful one often has 'changed their lifestyle' beyond just quitting smoking -- many times they end up being the epitome of health nuts, replacing their reward of a smoke with the reward of health, literally becoming addicted to exercise.

No matter how you go about quitting -this understanding can help ensure you get it done right. You clearly want to quit, and it is in your power to do so. THE HARDEST PART IS DONE FOR YOU MY FRIEND. That's what's cool tbh in your case, because when I quit chew, I didn't really want to quit, I just wanted reasons to not quit and recognized my addiction and was kinda disgusted that I went so long without recognizing it, so i quit out of sheer will and fell off the wagon a couple times before i was disgusted enough with my lack of success that I quit successfully eventually.

THE DETAILED APPROACH, I used to love chewing after a fucking good meal or while watching a movie -- my will wasn't as strong as it is now, so I had to just wait a while before I could watch a movie, i was a sucker for that shit. After a good meal - i just resorted to something else, 'filled that void with a lesser addiction'. If necessary you can move to nicorette for a few weeks or something, but in many ways it just keeps the individual 'one step away from going back to their original addiction'. Even sunflower seeds are helpful for chewers -- but should be used temporarily, because again, it is just one step away (even with no nicotine, one is reinforcing their habit, giving their subconscious a reason to believe the addiction is being filled, so never truly overcoming the addiction WHILE not ever truly being satisfied at the same time).

So knowing you should 'fill the void with something else', but that 'what you chose to fill it with will essentially just replace your addiction' --- the BEST way to achieve success here, imo at least, is by "becoming addicted to the feeling not having addiction"....

Again, I know it's deep -- but when you feel that urge, turn that pain into pleasure -- it is all a mind game after all.

The only two things people are physiologically "addicted" to is dopamine and serotonin -- it's all in your head, and they can be triggered through physical action which triggers thought OR directly through thought itself. So everytime you want to dip, remember that feeling of 'taking a dip out'. When shits stuck in your teeth, when you are no longer enjoying the feeling of 'satisfying the craving' -- when you almost want to have another one right away, but also don't want to because you just had one, so you feel like you cannot be satisfied either way. Hang on to that feeling for a minute - and then remember that you didn't just have a dip - and that you are stronger for it, and that your "next dip is to come" somewhere down the line, and when you feel its time to have that dip, then go through the same process of remembering all over again.


Man sorry for the long post - i just have an affinity for those addicted to dip since i was really bad myself for a while. I also know my suggestions weren't "text book, 'how to quit things'", but hope maybe there's something in there that helps ya - and either way, good luck pawtna.

[veritas]

^ in more simplified terms....you have the addiction and the habit.

fight the habit first.....once it is weakened, teh addiction becomes much easier to beat.

[namix]

The trick is to find out what level the person you are talking to is on, and then just be half a level higher.....you pull them up. dig?

TRUTH bro.

as you know, it's what I respect about your approach the most, since it's an area I'm working on. I share your affinity and even some of your savvy in psychology, metaphysics, spirituality -- but when I try to help someone, I jump into the deep-end, and you are much more effective at "jumping to their end" then guiding them along the way.

Interestingly, i created the habit of 'jumping into the deep end' because I believed what you already know - I believed I would 'set an extreme end-point' for the individual to reach at their time, in their pace.... What I didn't realize was that I actually, in some cases, inhibited their progress because I overwhelmed them by "going to deep" when they were trying to get comfortable in the shallows.

It's the page in your book I most admire, since it's the one my current chapter is lacking. I recognize the big picture, but am not near as effective at guiding others to see it --- it is why you are (1) more adept at establishing rapport (to another point you made), and (2) MORE CONCISE.

But, I do recognize my pattern, so I'll change it. In fact, I recognize that the way you are already helping knucklehead vs. how my braindump perfectly reflects the differences I'm talking about haha. Even if the end points are the same, the line will be drawn more effectively by "being a half level further than they are now".

Very astute brotha.

[namix]

you flatter me. Tbh I was trying to grow up a little when joe metts called. He at first attacked me, and the old me, would have blasted, but I decided that I would be peace, and he retorted with peace.

Nam: It is literally my job to build rapport. I have learned (from many mistakes trust me) I believe how to do that, the hardest people to build rapport with are narcissists, and sociopaths....

You are right....Like i told metts on the phone yesterday: "I exist to show people what they need to see in themselves..."

Joe metts needed reassurance that his life would be ok, and he is nervous about his career prospects, but came to the conclusion that he could set up his own blog and have fun exercising his passion.

I used to use these boards as research into collective narcissism and in-group vs out-group homogeneity, but now my mission has changed. I would love you to call, I am sure we would have much to discuss sir.

The trick is to find out what level the person you are talking to is on, and then just be half a level higher.....you pull them up. dig?

6019173913 do not be ashamed. I have talked to quite a few people on this board, but will respect confidentiality, just know alot of people have called and or texted.

Veritas, based on the little (or much), you know about me -- do you think I would be ashamed to call you?

There is no shame in engaging in a conversation with the wise; and also what little (or much) I have left to hide is exactly what needs to be revealed - so no need for the confidentiality disclaimer either my friend.

(ps - updated to highlight, not only will I call you at some point - I'd have a damn weekly conference call with someone like you dude. i know what you get and get what i don't, and if i can take shit away from my own echo, then there is only more I would take away from a convo with you homeslice).

[namix]

Sorry for all the posts in your thread V - clearly trying to add to the thread vs. taking anything away from it ;)

But I have to say - once the veil is removed, you and rawn are going to appreciate the similarities in your former differences. I like you guys for the same depth, you've just beaten the monster few even see - but hey, you know what the old you would need to hear more than I do clearly, so perhaps i'm dissecting something that doesnt need to be... just wanted you both to know, you both got depth, and i like/respect you both more than I do 95% of the people I encounter - so it's intersting to see you two 'go at' each other.

in fact, Rawn, you should consider calling him. You guys are at ends because of similar beginnings yo.

[veritas]

well said nam.

tbh I am not wise. I just do not talk about what I do not know...and I read between the lines

you would not be ashamed to call me

and i believe in Occam's razor.

consider Jesus: he could have told people the inner workings of the universe....but talked to lawyers about the law, talked to the pharisees about moses, talked to farmers about farming.....

the more universal is the always the more simple...and thus so complicated.

Jesus stated that he spoke in parables on purpose SO THAT SOME WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND!!! chew on that bro.

[Seyance]

why does addiction not affect me veritas? i can pick up and drop weed and cigs whenever I want. ATM I don't smoke at all mon-thurs and it doesn't bother me one bit.

[namix]

well said nam.

tbh I am not wise. I just do not talk about what I do not know...and I read between the lines

you would not be ashamed to call me

and i believe in Occam's razor.

consider Jesus: he could have told people the inner workings of the universe....but talked to lawyers about the law, talked to the pharisees about moses, talked to farmers about farming.....

the more universal is the always the more simple...and thus so complicated.

Jesus stated that he spoke in parables on purpose SO THAT SOME WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND!!! chew on that bro.

Wise is somewhat relative based on how we use the term. Yet, recognizing you are not wise IS wise in itself, and saying it is wise for a multitude of other reasons. Once again I neglect the importance of rapport - but do firmly believe that by being truthful consistently it is built inevitably (just not as efficiently).

Did Jesus really state that he said it so that "some would not understand"?? Amazing.

Using parables to remain concise, timeless, and tailored to a an audience to decode the deeper meaning based on what the analogies mean to them. Speaks well to your approach.

It is also supported by even those who neglected the bible increase their awareness. The simple messages actually correspond with the greatest truths and patterns in all things within creation -- a language we naively think we understand at all points in our lives, and as awareness matures, retrospect reveals how shortsighted we were.

While I've recognized that shortsightedness on my part, and can appreciate the pattern to the degree that I have every reason to look back in the future and see my current understanding as shortsighted as well, I never heard that IT WAS BY DESIGN.

Never knew that Jesus actually said that, but it makes sense to those that "can hear".

What's great about it is, those that truly hear, understand why corruption in (any and all) organized religion is natural for our species, but that corruption should not undermine the providence of certain universal truths which the religions/philosophies/world views are built upon.

After all - all souls speak a different language, but if one can humble themselves to truly 'hear' several languages, the patterns in belief systems are identical at some juncture. Whether new age (over-reliance on the inward) or catholic (over-reliance on the outward), or atheist (over- and under- reliance on both) -- the conclusions only appear different because of our instinct to individuate and differentiate --- but in the end, they are more similar than they are different.

So many wars were/are fought over the 'source of truth', when to your point, truth is known when it is received not how it was provided.

Hope others take the time to chew on this talk as well, but hey - you know I love it either way lol. Awesome shit.

[namix]

I am going on a "be concise" mission. I don't even recognize what i've done until after I hit submit.

fuck.

talking to my echo, while rewarding, ends up being a very long conversation. haha

[veritas]

the difference came for me when I realized that Christianity was a fellowship not a religion.

MAtthew 13

Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.

14

And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive:
Isa 6:9 John 12:40 Acts 28:26

15

For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
Isa 6:10 Mark 4:12 Acts 28:27

16

But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.

[veritas]

why does addiction not affect me veritas? i can pick up and drop weed and cigs whenever I want. ATM I don't smoke at all mon-thurs and it doesn't bother me one bit.

Whenever people tell me this, I ask them to be psychologically honest....when you are very stressed.....do you smoke?

[Witty]

I smoke and take drugs because I am very depressed. I tell this to people online because it makes me seem interesting, and like I don't care what people think, but really I crave attention to compensate for the fact I'm just a waste of space.

Go.

[Seyance]

nope, I am rarely very stressed though and i can take my mind off things by busying myself in various other ways. e.g. seeing my girl, playing football or surfing.

[veritas]

jesuits...perhaps you are the exception to the rule?

what I have experienced is that most people who "can control" their addictions, eventually return to greater usage during periods of psychological trauma.

[Ghost1]

Damn.....v just nailed my smoking "addiction" on the head. But it still seems far less severe then others....like jesuits said i can smoke an not smoke whever i want....im talking cigs....i RARELY smoke...but i always cop a pack b4 i go out for a big night of drinking....but then i could go a month without even thinking about a cig. . Tho i will say when im stressed.....which has been seldom as of late, i will resort to smoking. What is the significance to this and am i not still far less addicted to cigs then the.norm....i mean there r degrees, r there nit?

[Seyance]

that maybe true, I need to go through some trauma to find that out. most people use it to escape and take their minds off things. but that stems from being weak minded anyway, i know it won't really help me escape, I live firmly in reality and am too self aware to let something like addiction take over my life.

[namix]

the difference came for me when I realized that Christianity was a fellowship not a religion.

Yessir. Recognition, and delineation, of the fellowship is not easy for many in our day.

It is difficult for most to pull the truth from the lies, when separating the yolk from the whites often requires having separated the yolk from the whites.

I didn't make that delineation until I pendulum swung back and forth a half dozen times throughout my life.

What is your perception of other worldviews - do you see the same truths spoken in another language or perceive them to be lesser truths (or untruths)?

[veritas]

I agree that there are truths in other worldviews....but JESUS IS THE TRUTH.

why do I say this? becuase Jesus is the only shot we have (if we are being honest with ourselves) of defeating sin.

because sin cannot be beat.....

i know this is too simple.

and thus we are back at the parables arent we>?

[Objective]

C.d.m: Want to evaluate me some day? ^^ Dead serious and I'm curious about how good you really are. I'm pretty much fucked up so I got a few therapists under my belt, perhaps I'm able to evaluate you as a therapist as well. I live in Norway so calling your number is out of the question. Drop me your skype or aim if you're up for it.

[Witty]

Veritas why do you ignore me?

I have problems, help me...I need you.

[veritas]

Damn.....v just nailed my smoking "addiction" on the head. But it still seems far less severe then others....like jesuits said i can smoke an not smoke whever i want....im talking cigs....i RARELY smoke...but i always cop a pack b4 i go out for a big night of drinking....but then i could go a month without even thinking about a cig. . Tho i will say when im stressed.....which has been seldom as of late, i will resort to smoking. What is the significance to this and am i not still far less addicted to cigs then the.norm....i mean there r degrees, r there nit?

there are degrees anthony, and you are actually more dependant than you believed...that is the nature of the beast sir.

[veritas]

C.d.m: Want to evaluate me some day? ^^ Dead serious and I'm curious about how good you really are. I'm pretty much fucked up so I got a few therapists under my belt, perhaps I'm able to evaluate you as a therapist as well. I live in Norway so calling your number is out of the question. Drop me your skype or aim if you're up for it.

what is your main problem?

[veritas]

Veritas why do you ignore me?

I have problems, help me...I need you.

what is your main problem?

[Witty]

what is your main problem?

I take my insecurities out on those closest to me, and push them away because getting too close to someone is much too scary even though it is all I want, so I take drugs and drink alcohol to subdue these feelings.

[Joe Metts]

Well i'll let veritas have his moment. But he's wyling out.

[veritas]

its what I do Joe Metts....its what I do.

[veritas]

I take my insecurities out on those closest to me, and push them away because getting too close to someone is much too scary even though it is all I want, so I take drugs and drink alcohol to subdue these feelings.

what are your insecurities...be honest

[Joe Metts]

Call me to hear my veritas impression. 7176988848

[veritas]

I will when I wake up from a nap.

[Objective]

what is your main problem?

I thought you believed in confidentiality. But allright. Not giving a fuck or any motivation at all to do the necessary deeds to deal with dysthemia. Drained for energy most of the time. Own problems delve into my dreams, having 2-3 dreams a night is a normal thing. So on top of low fatigue (wich is normal for people with dysthemia) I wake up just as tired as I was when I fell asleep. Since I have learned to look upon night terrors as a great experience like watching horror movies in order to deal with it, my brain no longer shield me from the extremely brutal dreams. (We're talking family members getting chopped up and/or raped while I'm forced to watch kinda dreams). Lucid dreams is also an occurring thing of my already fucked up sleeping pattern (wich basicly is non-existent as well). As many don't know, or maybe not experience during a lucid dream, is that they drain you for energy more than a regular dream does.

I got a negative outlook on existence as there's no real meaning in life beside of whatever you fool yourself to believe. I constantly feel that anything I, or anyone do, doesn't really matter. So what's the point, right? Basicly what I'm saying is; Emotions is a product of evolution for our species to survive, whatever I choose to believe in isn't really ''me'' anyways. It's a product that just happens to be. Life itself is nothing but a huge trick. Because of this I also believe that therapy is simply manipulating ourselves to reach a fake paradise. If I manage to get there I visualize my life to be kinda like Pyro in this video;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I

Being in that state is better than nothing, so I guess I'm not a lost case yet.. How can I learn to ''live'' again and actually care about what happens to me, the chicks I fuck and the people I talk with on a daily basis?

[Boredom]

@c.d.m looking forward to what you have to say about that ^


a+++ thread

knowledge being dropped, n word namix to your post about addiction. made some very good points

[Joe Metts]

I honestly made this thread to help V get that top spot again.


Glad it worked for him.

[Boredom]

eh, just dope to see something productive happening on this board aside from the mindless bickering/argueing about shit that doesn't matter.

[Witty]

eh, just dope to see something productive happening on this board aside from the mindless bickering/argueing about shit that doesn't matter.

FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU DIE DO YOU EVEN LIFT YOU ARE A WASTE OF SPACE LOSER AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE AND YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND YOU WILL PROBABLY DIE ALONE.

[Joe Metts]

This is mindless bickering its just being done by two people smarter then yall.

[Boredom]

<3

lol'd at do you even lift tho

and J. Metts

word at what your saying, it's just dope to see people engaging in intelligent conversation and interaction that is somewhat beneficial to others as apposed to what normally goes on

[Witty]

This is mindless bickering its just being done by two people smarter then yall.


I know I'm one of them, who's the other guy?

[veritas]

So joe metts called me while the wife and I were in bed. I told joe metts that I was fixing to poot and then "play turtle".

I then asked joe metts if he wanted to listen to us have sex....

He said he didn't want to waste three minutes...lol

[Joe Metts]

Lol good lil convo filled with picard and veritas impressions.

[Split]

I thought you believed in confidentiality. But allright. Not giving a fuck or any motivation at all to do the necessary deeds to deal with dysthemia. Drained for energy most of the time. Own problems delve into my dreams, having 2-3 dreams a night is a normal thing. So on top of low fatigue (wich is normal for people with dysthemia) I wake up just as tired as I was when I fell asleep. Since I have learned to look upon night terrors as a great experience like watching horror movies in order to deal with it, my brain no longer shield me from the extremely brutal dreams. (We're talking family members getting chopped up and/or raped while I'm forced to watch kinda dreams). Lucid dreams is also an occurring thing of my already fucked up sleeping pattern (wich basicly is non-existent as well). As many don't know, or maybe not experience during a lucid dream, is that they drain you for energy more than a regular dream does.

I got a negative outlook on existence as there's no real meaning in life beside of whatever you fool yourself to believe. I constantly feel that anything I, or anyone do, doesn't really matter. So what's the point, right? Basicly what I'm saying is; Emotions is a product of evolution for our species to survive, whatever I choose to believe in isn't really ''me'' anyways. It's a product that just happens to be. Life itself is nothing but a huge trick. Because of this I also believe that therapy is simply manipulating ourselves to reach a fake paradise. If I manage to get there I visualize my life to be kinda like Pyro in this video;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I

Being in that state is better than nothing, so I guess I'm not a lost case yet.. How can I learn to ''live'' again and actually care about what happens to me, the chicks I fuck and the people I talk with on a daily basis?
I self diagnosed myself with dysthemia last summer... might've been withdrawal from meds though. But I know how you feel about being unable to motivate yourself to do anything/ really retard sleep schedules, its not so bad anymore... main thing that helped was running often/ regular exerxise

[Dope girl]

guys friends like that. awesome!

[veritas]

I thought you believed in confidentiality. But allright. Not giving a fuck or any motivation at all to do the necessary deeds to deal with dysthemia. Drained for energy most of the time. Own problems delve into my dreams, having 2-3 dreams a night is a normal thing. So on top of low fatigue (wich is normal for people with dysthemia) I wake up just as tired as I was when I fell asleep. Since I have learned to look upon night terrors as a great experience like watching horror movies in order to deal with it, my brain no longer shield me from the extremely brutal dreams. (We're talking family members getting chopped up and/or raped while I'm forced to watch kinda dreams). Lucid dreams is also an occurring thing of my already fucked up sleeping pattern (wich basicly is non-existent as well). As many don't know, or maybe not experience during a lucid dream, is that they drain you for energy more than a regular dream does.

I got a negative outlook on existence as there's no real meaning in life beside of whatever you fool yourself to believe. I constantly feel that anything I, or anyone do, doesn't really matter. So what's the point, right? Basicly what I'm saying is; Emotions is a product of evolution for our species to survive, whatever I choose to believe in isn't really ''me'' anyways. It's a product that just happens to be. Life itself is nothing but a huge trick. Because of this I also believe that therapy is simply manipulating ourselves to reach a fake paradise. If I manage to get there I visualize my life to be kinda like Pyro in this video;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I

Being in that state is better than nothing, so I guess I'm not a lost case yet.. How can I learn to ''live'' again and actually care about what happens to me, the chicks I fuck and the people I talk with on a daily basis?

assuming you are telling the truth, three questions:

1. Have you any medical condition/head injury
2. Describe your illicit drug habits
3. Describe your psych med regiment

[~RustyGunZ~]

This is mindless bickering its just being done by two people smarter then yall.

bro cut that shit

the intelligent conversation was between namix and veritas

[Joe Metts]

I know who he meant. It wasn't that intelligent lol

[super pimp trillionaire]

Refrigerator lights astound dumb people. They were prolly just minding their business and y'all got confused.

[veritas]

naq mad right now
relevence jonesing real bad right now......

[super pimp trillionaire]

When y'all think I'm mad I'm prolly just bored. If that helps...
Btw, fridge lights are dope.

[Objective]

assuming you are telling the truth, three questions:

1. Have you any medical condition/head injury
2. Describe your illicit drug habits
3. Describe your psych med regiment

Hahaha, love your questions man. Don't assume that everyone listening to hiphop and posting on these boards do drugs. Sorry to dissapoint you, but here we go:

1. Haha, nah man. I'm perfectly fine. No head injuries of any sort alltho' it may seem like it.

2. No real drug habits. Weed once in a blue moon, the only thing it does is making me sleep better (White Rhino ftw). The problem is that it's expensive as fuck around here. Never done any hard drugs. Just weed on rare occasions with friends. In seventh grade my godmothers ex died by OD'ing. Aint fucking with that shit.

3. I've been prescribed Circadin wich is a weak as fuck sleep medication (melatonin) and doesn't help me at all. Was given anti-depressive pills a few years ago, don't remember the brand but it scared me. When I was on it a good friend of mines mom offed herself and I couldn't care less. That made me more sad than anything else. The therapist quit working while I was on them. I decided to quit the meds without weekly consultations, wich is not only dangerous, but also illegal in Norway. When I was quitting them the moodswings was crazy, I could be suicidal as fuck for an hour and be in euphoria the next. 3 weeks of that and it was out of my system. You'd have to force me to try meds like that again.

What sucks is being awake at 02:58am (like now) without being tired enough to sleep, but tired enough to not do anything worthwhile. I consider myself a basement dweller because of this. I go out with friends 2-3 times a week at most, mostly to get drunk or skate with a bunch of people. The rest of the week I'm seriously too tired to do anything at all. I guess I'm lucky to have a huge group of friends I can chill with even with the issues I'm having. Without them I'm certain I'd feel lonely and worthless as well (I do feel that nothing really matters, but I look upon myself as equal among my peers, there's a difference).

Split: Word @ regular excercise. I'd do that shit if I wasn't too tired to even go outside 80% of the time. I have tried to be active during daytime as it's supposed to make you tired at night, in my case it doesn't. I'm speculating that I might have a higher brain activity than most. At one point I woke up at 08:00 AM, went out to skate for 8 hours, got home, couldn't sleep, went out to skate for 5 hours the next day and couldn't sleep until 3AM. And at times I can be exhausted by just taking out the trash cuz I had a bad night of sleep after being awake for 48 hours prior to sleeping. My energy for each day depends solely on when I fall asleep and how I'm sleeping. Sometimes I have to cancel appointments because I'm too tired to do anything, often because I haven't slept the night before. Also one of the reasons to why I'm not going to a therapist atm. to sort things out with a professional. It's crazy to live like this.

[~RustyGunZ~]

What u need is cocaine

[Objective]

Nah, I'd probably love it so much so I'd have to fight addiction and be in debt to drug kinpins as well. I'd like to stay away from that shit tbh, haha.

[Strikta]

Dude that sounds fucked.
Objective

I read it, yes.

It intrigued me.

[Meth]

Best thread this site's ever had.

[veritas]

Hahaha, love your questions man. Don't assume that everyone listening to hiphop and posting on these boards do drugs. Sorry to dissapoint you, but here we go:

1. Haha, nah man. I'm perfectly fine. No head injuries of any sort alltho' it may seem like it.

2. No real drug habits. Weed once in a blue moon, the only thing it does is making me sleep better (White Rhino ftw). The problem is that it's expensive as fuck around here. Never done any hard drugs. Just weed on rare occasions with friends. In seventh grade my godmothers ex died by OD'ing. Aint fucking with that shit.

3. I've been prescribed Circadin wich is a weak as fuck sleep medication (melatonin) and doesn't help me at all. Was given anti-depressive pills a few years ago, don't remember the brand but it scared me. When I was on it a good friend of mines mom offed herself and I couldn't care less. That made me more sad than anything else. The therapist quit working while I was on them. I decided to quit the meds without weekly consultations, wich is not only dangerous, but also illegal in Norway. When I was quitting them the moodswings was crazy, I could be suicidal as fuck for an hour and be in euphoria the next. 3 weeks of that and it was out of my system. You'd have to force me to try meds like that again.

What sucks is being awake at 02:58am (like now) without being tired enough to sleep, but tired enough to not do anything worthwhile. I consider myself a basement dweller because of this. I go out with friends 2-3 times a week at most, mostly to get drunk or skate with a bunch of people. The rest of the week I'm seriously too tired to do anything at all. I guess I'm lucky to have a huge group of friends I can chill with even with the issues I'm having. Without them I'm certain I'd feel lonely and worthless as well (I do feel that nothing really matters, but I look upon myself as equal among my peers, there's a difference).

Split: Word @ regular excercise. I'd do that shit if I wasn't too tired to even go outside 80% of the time. I have tried to be active during daytime as it's supposed to make you tired at night, in my case it doesn't. I'm speculating that I might have a higher brain activity than most. At one point I woke up at 08:00 AM, went out to skate for 8 hours, got home, couldn't sleep, went out to skate for 5 hours the next day and couldn't sleep until 3AM. And at times I can be exhausted by just taking out the trash cuz I had a bad night of sleep after being awake for 48 hours prior to sleeping. My energy for each day depends solely on when I fall asleep and how I'm sleeping. Sometimes I have to cancel appointments because I'm too tired to do anything, often because I haven't slept the night before. Also one of the reasons to why I'm not going to a therapist atm. to sort things out with a professional. It's crazy to live like this.

Yes quitting anti depressants is very dangerous.

Now be completely honest: describe your average thought process as you lay in the bed awake while you know you should be sleeping

[Objective]

@Strika: Cool. Looking forward to any replies from Veritas on things I can do in case there's some hints/tips that I haven't tried out yet. It's kinda weird, because I want things to change but I have no motivation to do so. It's contradicting as fuck and I have no clue on what to do about it. As some of you know I'm playing a lot of poker, reading tips and watching videos from pros. It is a hobby, but it's also an actual attempt to learn something I might be able to make money from with the right mindset. Before anyone says that I'm losing money; Read up on bankroll mangement first. It takes 3 months for me to lose 20$ if that happens to my bankroll.

If anyone wonders how I'm able to pay my bills atm; Governmental state program for people that's diagnosed with something health related through their doctor that proves they're not fit for a 100% job. It isn't a lot of money, but enough to pay bills, get out with friends 2 times a month and food. There is no real program for me to follow, so I don't do anything at all and I feel like a fucking leech. Not doing anything is fucked up.

[veritas]

@Strika: Cool. Looking forward to any replies from Veritas on things I can do in case there's some hints/tips that I haven't tried out yet. It's kinda weird, because I want things to change but I have no motivation to do so. It's contradicting as fuck and I have no clue on what to do about it. As some of you know I'm playing a lot of poker, reading tips and watching videos from pros. It is a hobby, but it's also an actual attempt to learn something I might be able to make money from with the right mindset. Before anyone says that I'm losing money; Read up on bankroll mangement first. It takes 3 months for me to lose 20$ if that happens to my bankroll.

If anyone wonders how I'm able to pay my bills atm; Governmental state program for people that's diagnosed with something health related through their doctor that proves they're not fit for a 100% job. It isn't a lot of money, but enough to pay bills, get out with friends 2 times a month and food. There is no real program for me to follow, so I don't do anything at all and I feel like a fucking leech. Not doing anything is fucked up.

What are you diagnosed with? Have you considered grave yard shift?

[Objective]

Now be completely honest: describe your average thought process as you lay in the bed awake while you know you should be sleeping

The thought process? Wow, it might start out as; ''Going to be chill af right now and not think about anything weird that starts my thought process''. Rivers, landscapes etc.. You get the deal. Then I might think about something intriguing with my friends or something morbid on the internet. Often start discussing social norms with myself, theories, physics and laws of the universe to the point where you'd think I was high if I told them to you. Sometimes things I've read in books. This might be about 3-5 minutes in trying to sleep. Cutting down and coming to terms with questions and ''philosophies'' was a thing I did with my prior therapist in order to stop the thought process and be able to sleep. I often kept asking questions; But what if, circling around the same topic until I found an answer and questioned that again etc. Trying to stop that shit now.
But when that happens I get extremely uneasy, I get the cravings to do something. I roll from one side to the other even tho' I should be tired enough to sleep. But it never happens and it ends up having the opposite effect. I get energetic. Sometimes reading a book does the same thing, so calm activities such as reading a book or doing the dishes or whatever makes me somewhat ''hyper active'' instead. As both of us know, laptops and TV's etc. got a certain light that triggers the brain to think it's daytime, but it is the only thing that keeps me active enough to keep me in a calm state. The best way for me to sleep is to put on Netflix; Spongebob or some TV drama I don't really care that much for or have already seen such as Californication. Ducktales is also an extremely nice way to go to sleep if I'm tired enough to not do anything. Basicly what I'm saying is; My body got to be 100% drained for energy before I can fall asleep and not get energetic again. Doing nothing makes it worse.

If it counts for anything I had some concentration issues in school unless the subject interested me. Far from ADD or anything like that, but still enough to label it as concentration issues. I was great in english history, history itself, society, philosophy, practical work, norwegian and spanish, but on the paper I was around B to C-. It furiated my english teacher because I couldn't concentrate on homework. I got a C in english and she said I was at an A if I had just done my shit.

Edit: c.d.m.: I'm diagnosed with dysthymia.

Edit 2: c.d.m.: I have considered the graveyard shift but I have NO sleeping pattern at all. Wich means that I have no idea when I'll get to sleep and when I'll wake up. Just a few days ago I had been awake for 30 hours and only got to sleep for 5. Last week I was awake for almost two days and slept for 18 hours. It's fucked up. I can fall asleep 3PM one day and 3AM the next.

[namix]

shit objective, i think i read that you lucid dream.

and veritas, you're an NLP right?

i say cut right to the subconscious, utilize your lucid state as a training ground for restful sleep.

as counter-intuitive as it sounds, remember lucid dreaming is a decision (once triggered at least). you can untrain yourself or go get a deep rest while lucid dreaming. might as well do everything you guys are talking about in that timeless state as well.

if you experience the same anxiety in your lucid state, and cannot dream about having restful sleep, it will at least help further separate and provide context of how much of the problem is physical vs. psychological vs. metaphysical.

again, just a random idea you could try independent of whatever else you guys have concluded (havent caught up on page 4 yet)

[namix]

oooh damn @veritas' thought process before sleep and your response objective.

spiritual awakening yo.

i couldnt stop asking questions until i found that the answers don't come until you stop asking questions.

quiet your mind hommie. mortality, time, - many savvy human beings try to conceptualize infinity by counting toward it when it is more likely they'd get to infinity by counting backwards from it. accept the polarity of life - the infinity with the finite - and let yourself be free.

clearly feel free to ignore everything i just said if it doesnt resonate at all - but I had very similar symptoms during my initial clicks... everything from not sleeping, to lucid dreaming, etc. -- and if other therapists havent been able to help you, it probably means the solution is deeper too.

alas - i know i'm crazy, and that is the beacon i use to ensure I am on the right track as crazy is a relative term used to describe my deviation from the pack ;)

[namix]

oooh damn @veritas' thought process before sleep and your response objective.

spiritual awakening yo.

i couldnt stop asking questions until i found that the answers don't come until you stop asking questions.

quiet your mind hommie. mortality, time, - many savvy human beings try to conceptualize infinity by counting toward it when it is more likely they'd get to infinity by counting backwards from it. accept the polarity of life - the infinity with the finite - and let yourself be free.

clearly feel free to ignore everything i just said if it doesnt resonate at all - but I had very similar symptoms during my initial clicks... everything from not sleeping, to lucid dreaming, etc. -- and if other therapists havent been able to help you, it probably means the solution is deeper too.

alas - i know i'm crazy, and that is the beacon i use to ensure I am on the right track as crazy is a relative term used to describe my deviation from the pack ;)

^^ the acceptance of this polarity TRULY is one of the GREATEST assets in battling depression too.

what would a valley be without a mountain peak.

[Nigma]

namix over this last year I've become increasingly better at becoming lucid, still practicing the wake induced method to limited success, however I've also been looking more into astral projection, have you attempted this or know much about it?

[veritas]

The thought process? Wow, it might start out as; ''Going to be chill af right now and not think about anything weird that starts my thought process''. Rivers, landscapes etc.. You get the deal. Then I might think about something intriguing with my friends or something morbid on the internet. Often start discussing social norms with myself, theories, physics and laws of the universe to the point where you'd think I was high if I told them to you. Sometimes things I've read in books. This might be about 3-5 minutes in trying to sleep. Cutting down and coming to terms with questions and ''philosophies'' was a thing I did with my prior therapist in order to stop the thought process and be able to sleep. I often kept asking questions; But what if, circling around the same topic until I found an answer and questioned that again etc. Trying to stop that shit now.
But when that happens I get extremely uneasy, I get the cravings to do something. I roll from one side to the other even tho' I should be tired enough to sleep. But it never happens and it ends up having the opposite effect. I get energetic. Sometimes reading a book does the same thing, so calm activities such as reading a book or doing the dishes or whatever makes me somewhat ''hyper active'' instead. As both of us know, laptops and TV's etc. got a certain light that triggers the brain to think it's daytime, but it is the only thing that keeps me active enough to keep me in a calm state. The best way for me to sleep is to put on Netflix; Spongebob or some TV drama I don't really care that much for or have already seen such as Californication. Ducktales is also an extremely nice way to go to sleep if I'm tired enough to not do anything. Basicly what I'm saying is; My body got to be 100% drained for energy before I can fall asleep and not get energetic again. Doing nothing makes it worse.

If it counts for anything I had some concentration issues in school unless the subject interested me. Far from ADD or anything like that, but still enough to label it as concentration issues. I was great in english history, history itself, society, philosophy, practical work, norwegian and spanish, but on the paper I was around B to C-. It furiated my english teacher because I couldn't concentrate on homework. I got a C in english and she said I was at an A if I had just done my shit.

Edit: c.d.m.: I'm diagnosed with dysthymia.

Edit 2: c.d.m.: I have considered the graveyard shift but I have NO sleeping pattern at all. Wich means that I have no idea when I'll get to sleep and when I'll wake up. Just a few days ago I had been awake for 30 hours and only got to sleep for 5. Last week I was awake for almost two days and slept for 18 hours. It's fucked up. I can fall asleep 3PM one day and 3AM the next.

Imo you need to sleep and you should invest in taking the time to find an anti depressant and sleep aid that will help you. The good think about depression is that it responds very well to medication and therapy.

I do not like that you "get drunk" occasionally. You must eliminate alcohol or else your sleep and anti depressants will not work properly

Also try www.holosync.com
It will help your brain rest even if you cannot sleep.

For therapy I recxomend you try cbt for understanding triggers, patters, and problem solving skills

I do not feel you are being entirely honest with me about your thought process

You need to sleep.

[Objective]

c.d.m.: I'm fully aware of that. I don't go out drinking as much as my peers. Probably two times a month or whenever I can afford it. Most of my friends are drinking buddys, the rest are skaters and they're like.. Seasonal friends, haha, I barely talk to them during the winter, spring+summer = almost a daily thing or a few times a week if I'm not drained for energy. If you don't think I'm honest about my thought process, then.. I guess you don't trust me enough for whatever reason that may be. May I ask you why you think I am not being honest with you?

I have tried meditation. My mother is all up on that shit and knows it pretty well. She's entered ''hallucinogenic'' states during them and had eye-opening experiences. However, if I try that shit I get restless and it ends up having the opposite effect. I will, however, try out the link you gave me.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is what I went to with my old doc, it was his specialty and I recomend it to anyone that deals with depression, anxiety etc. It's great as fuck. Sucks that he retired because we did get progress alltho' it was a 2 steps forward, one step back thing.

I know I need sleep man. Just started a re-run of SoA. Pray for me while I chill out.

[Objective]

c.d.m.: You can feel free to skip this TL;DR if you want to, or read it to get a better understanding of what happens when I sleep and where I ended my CBT with my doc to stop or at least slow down the thought process when I try to sleep, it's not as bad as it was when I pondered upon existentialism etc. on a daily basis, it's not that bad anymore. For example; Emmanuel Kant really fascinates me, but I've decided to not read anything more from him because I know multi dimensions, being born in pain and happiness is a myth along with pondering if I'm sitting inside an object or not isn't exactly things I should delve too much into at this point, haha.

namix: Word, but when I figure out I'm dreaming, and get what I consider to be complete control, it's mostly because the whole world seems to be inspired by either Salvador Dali or Stephen King. Not even joking either. I've had about 5-6 TRUE lucid dreams; We're talking Inception on the beach kinda lucid dream. Building city's etc. The main thing I don't get with that movie is why the fuck it took them several years to build that city, fucking bullshit, it took me less than a minute to rebuild my own city and fly around in it. I've had about 20+ lucid dreams where I know I'm dreaming and able to divert the course of a night terror; Talking to whoever is killing people and/or torturing me and befriend them is a common technique for me to make a nightmare less morbid. Depends how moved I am by what is happening, but if it's a slightly terrifying dream I can project guns, make ropes/torture equipment dissapear, create a flooding or whatever to get away.

But word @ lucid dreaming also being the portal to your subconscious. One of the most insightful and reflective discussions I've had with myself was during my sleep. In the dream I had been out on town and I started to walk home. When I finally got home I realized that it was a completely different place I was heading at but I had the keys. There were a female person standing there that I started to talk with. Even tho' I had never seen her before she was familiar to me. That's when I figured out that I was dreaming. I literally asked the person if she was my subconscious and how far I could dig by talking to her. Her answer was; ''I'm your mind, it's limited because you know you're talking to me, but you can do anything you want with me.'' No, I didn't fuck her, yes, she was hot as fuck, my mind is beautiful fellas! I don't want to fuck with it. I did however discuss myself. Fucked up shit. I got the notion that I had little to no control over her answers as well.

When I get into a lucid state however, it's either because of night terrors as I said before, but when I get complete control it's often too awesome to just go to go sleep. It's too fun to fly around or build landscapes/cities etc. instead of going to sleep. Imagine minecraft, just that it's realistic as fuck and you can just imagine what you want to build and it's there. And I don't really know if simply going to sleep will solve it, my longest lucid dream lasted for 3 dreams in a row (I know it may sound weird, doubt me if you want to or discard it, idgaf, but if you were me you'd know I'm not fucking around), when one ended I woke up in another. A dream can surely last longer if it continues into the next.

As far as it goes to discussing mortality etc. I'm rather done with that question and I no longer fear death. Our bodies may die, but life goes on, the dirt gets nutrition for flowers to grow, worms and all other nasty creatures gets their share and that's how we pay back to nature after we die. The answer I came up with for life's meaning is simply that there is no true meaning as everything is ''fake''. But it exists and is therefore real, a contradiction that makes up for itself.
Emotions may be fake, but they're still real enough to make an impact on nature and the future of our world. Another ice age will come, but does it really matter? No. But I believe that humanity itself is doomed and I'm extremely pessimistic because I think that we as a collective need to be working together for a common goal, but at the moment the human race is going against that. War is pointless but we still have them, for what? Countries that is in constant change? What the fuck guys? Bitch, a border means nothing when the world changes itself anyways, didn't you learn anything in geography? Not to mention fights out on town, manipulative bitches etc. Either way, just like when we die; life gets to grow. I don't condemn nuclear war because the aftermath and extinction of the human race would be nothing but great for life to evolve, both in space and on earth.
But while we're here, the butterfly effect is strong. Simply being a great human being is my way of paying back to the life I am given while I am alive. Hence the reason to why I'm not suicidal. It would defeat the purpose of giving something back, and it would hurt too many people in order for the good shit in us to grow. It would be a negative blast in the butterfly effect I have chose to believe in. This is where I stopped asking questions and I'm fine with that answer.

But, as far as social norms goes and how I can utlize the butterfly effect is shit I start pondering about when I go to sleep. I am pretty much updated on morbid shit that happens in everyday life. In a week I've seen numerous deathpics, beheadings, serial killers and all that, but in a context and with a community that looks upon it as reality we shouldn't shield ourselves from. And we discuss it in a mature way. It's a way for me to understand humanity as a whole. I see all of this and take part in dusccisions along with happy news, gaming and rap. There needs to be a balance, too much of one thing isn't good if we can learn and grow from what we know on both sides of the spectrum.

Edit: HOLY MOTHERFUCKER, THIS POST IS TOO LONG. I MUST SLOW DOWN. THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH. I BROKE MY RECORD OF LONGEST TL;DR. Apologies, I understand it if no-one reads this crap. But yeah, this is how my brain works, this is basicly just the start of 5-15 minutes of trying to sleep, it's just that I wrote small bit of it down for you guys.

[dead man]

kant is dope

try heidegger

[Ghost1]

obj goin cray

[Split]

Objective you seem to think that in order for something to be real, it must be out of our control. Why?

[veritas]

This Kant be life.

Objective....fully describe your anxiety producing thoughts.

Have you had your pituitary and thyroid gland checked?

[veritas]

Also describe your average day

[Lars]

Can I play?

[veritas]

Also how old are you? And describe your families medical and psychiatric history to the best of your ability please

[Joe Metts]

Somebody called me from here. Ain't catch a name or a number lol just a dude on my messages.

Got me feeling like Veritas.

[Objective]

Split: It's not in our control and it never will. We don't need to be in control for something to be real, but everything that ranges from emotions to thought patterns is a product of evolution in order for us to survive. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with that belief.

c.d.m.: Anxiety producing thoughts? Read my reply to Split. Also kinda afraid that I'll be lonely, but I know that wont happen because I got a lot of friends I consider as close and I know it's mutual. And no, haven't got that shit checked, there's waiting lists of up to to 2 years for brain scans if that is what you're aiming at. And that's people with recommendations from their doc. I've looked into it because this chick told me about and it helped her a lot tp understand her sleeping habits.

Average day; Wake up, be a lazy fuck, try to figure out shit to not be a lazy fuck and get motivated to be a working member of society again. Netflix, internet, netflix, poker, netflix, poker, ps3. If my energy is up; meeting up with friends or something. I never really plan anything, sometimes I get calls and I just head out if I got the energy for it. Don't really have a schedule when I do shit and when I don't.

I'm 24. I do not want to go into full detail on my familys psychiatric history on a public board as it involves people that isn't me. It's not too hard to find this account with some smart googling. Don't want my family on both sides to find out shit from a forum. I'd rather keep that to a minimum. However, if it counts for anything I wouldn't say that my childhood is a special case, but it wasn't easy at times either. But yo, who hasn't had a rough childhood? haha. If you want more info about things regarding family history I'll send that in a PM for the reasons stated above.

If it counts for anything: mental health has been an issue in the bloodline on my mothers side. Basicly depression etc. It might be part genetic and part real ish that I've had to deal with while growing up. Got bullied both physically and verbally for 2 years. Switched schools at the start of 8th grade after someone tried to shank me. Got new friends that I could trust alltho' I still don't trust a soul 80%.
I have no ''secrets'', when people ask me about my life irl I tell them straight up. That way people can't hurt me with facts because I don't give a fuck who knows. Whoever wants to use it against me just ends up in a bad light anyways. Middle school went fine, some dude tried to start shit, but that was the last time he did it as well. In high school I was among the popular kids. I've literally experienced all aspects that the school system has to offer beside of being a bully myself.

[Rawn M.D.]

word @deadman...I like Sarte personally

[Objective]

Oh, forgot to reply Deadman. Word, Heidegger is interesting as well. Don't know that much about him beside of a wikipedia article. Got to pick up on this shit at a later notice. Atm I can't approach these topics with a healthy stance as I can't stop asking questions and answering them, haha. Would have been interesting if I wasn't cray' as Bags stated. You and Rawn (and everyone else) can discuss till you hearts bleed but I got to distance myself for now.

[dead man]

he's a brainchild of Husserl in a few ways. but i thought of him because he shits all over Kant's take on temporality and space. which i think you touched on..

idk

either way.. i hope you find what you're looking for Objective. be easy man

[namix]

Edit: HOLY MOTHERFUCKER, THIS POST IS TOO LONG. I MUST SLOW DOWN. THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH. I BROKE MY RECORD OF LONGEST TL;DR. Apologies, I understand it if no-one reads this crap. But yeah, this is how my brain works, this is basicly just the start of 5-15 minutes of trying to sleep, it's just that I wrote small bit of it down for you guys.

I read it yo.

you're at the brink dude - at least it was for me.

trace all your separate points, and your depression, back to the polarity of existence.

Remember - when they built that city, they were dreaming lucidly 3 levels deep. When I first began lucid dreaming consistently, a natural progression is "dreaming within a dream", because it's how your subconscious counters your conscious awareness of it. My dreams became more aligned to my waking state. I'd wake up in a dream in the same bed I fell asleep in. So I countered it by "looking for a sock on the floor" and shit before I fell asleep, only to learn the truth that it's not the way to battle the subconscious - it's always aware of your conscious.

Point being - if what you're saying is honest, and I have no reason to believe it isn't, you're on the brink. That brink can end really awesome or really poorly...

so figure out polarity, and other than that, shit..

I'd defer to someone like V who does it for a living.... i'm just a dude living the thought your conceiving.

[namix]

namix over this last year I've become increasingly better at becoming lucid, still practicing the wake induced method to limited success, however I've also been looking more into astral projection, have you attempted this or know much about it?

word man. let it come naturally. hard to float when you're chasing it. not only hard, but dangerous.

I believe the good get where they're going - that place or the next - when it makes sense.

In my experience, we are already there, most just aren't listening with the right ears. It's better to learn how to listen than to project - you get all of the good, and none of the deceit.

I also believe that the concept is being introduced so people who arent ready learn the hard way -- or maybe it's just my 'bad fortune'. I believe people are being spiritually manipulated -- and given a taste of truth with a chaser of deceit.

Eitherway bro --- the WILD is the same as sleep-induced lucid dreaming --- it's just a frame of mind. Your brain waves. Become an Alpha - all of us already have the propensity to do so.

The plane though, i know it's the minority opinion, but I take what I need from it after it's filtered through an LD or my intuition --- me going there just opens up the hatch doors to unnecessary rabbit holes.

[Witty]

word man. let it come naturally. hard to float when you're chasing it. not only hard, but dangerous.

I believe the good get where they're going - that place or the next - when it makes sense.

In my experience, we are already there, most just aren't listening with the right ears. It's better to learn how to listen than to project - you get all of the good, and none of the deceit.

I also believe that the concept is being introduced so people who arent ready learn the hard way -- or maybe it's just my 'bad fortune'. I believe people are being spiritually manipulated -- and given a taste of truth with a chaser of deceit.

Eitherway bro --- the WILD is the same as sleep-induced lucid dreaming --- it's just a frame of mind. Your brain waves. Become an Alpha - all of us already have the propensity to do so.

The plane though, i know it's the minority opinion, but I take what I need from it after it's filtered through an LD or my intuition --- me going there just opens up the hatch doors to unnecessary rabbit holes.

You're like....Jesus, or some shit.

[veritas]

ok objective...time to be real brother.

1. I do not believe that you have exhausted all your options. Rule one: rule out medical. Rule two: rule out substance abuse

there are sleep doctors you could go to, and if you pushed in the right direction could get your hormones checked, maybe a comp metab pnl, or a cdc w/ auto diff.....but you have not.

2. therapy wise: If you were my patient, for real, I would suggest that you literally exhaust yourself each day, mentally, physically, and spiritually.....REALLY LIVE LIFE! you laying around with no energy is only going to perpetuate that. an object at rest tends to?

the point is that you may not admit it, but, your life, or lack thereof is causing your subcon pain. a 24 year old should be out making his way in the world....figuring it out, figuring himself out, chicks, etc.....I aint trying to dog you, just trying to encourage and motivate.

3. I have worked with dsythmia and guess what? you might not like me saying this, but it is true.....compared to other illnesses it is mild. people can get over it very easily......the right meds, in conjunction with therapy.


4. I have learned, and you will have to excuse me, but it is true: "what you absolutely will not tolerate, you will never have to." point is...you are in a funk, and keeping yourself in it. you say you have no options, i say bullshit. you say you have told me all your thought processes, i say bullshit, something is gnawing at you and producing anxiety.

5. you NEED. TO. SLEEP. CONSISTENTLY.



If i was your therapist i would work with you in these things, I would also see that you had a mixture of mild antidepressants and sleep aids. I would withold alcohol or any negative social influences, and do all i could to make you literally exhausted each day trying to intrinsically motivate yourself to find your purpose, your passion, and fulfill your destiny.


holler.

[veritas]

I read it yo.

you're at the brink dude - at least it was for me.

trace all your separate points, and your depression, back to the polarity of existence.

Remember - when they built that city, they were dreaming lucidly 3 levels deep. When I first began lucid dreaming consistently, a natural progression is "dreaming within a dream", because it's how your subconscious counters your conscious awareness of it. My dreams became more aligned to my waking state. I'd wake up in a dream in the same bed I fell asleep in. So I countered it by "looking for a sock on the floor" and shit before I fell asleep, only to learn the truth that it's not the way to battle the subconscious - it's always aware of your conscious.

Point being - if what you're saying is honest, and I have no reason to believe it isn't, you're on the brink. That brink can end really awesome or really poorly...

so figure out polarity, and other than that, shit..

I'd defer to someone like V who does it for a living.... i'm just a dude living the thought your conceiving.

the portal is not to trans versed without many things first occurring.

[Objective]

c.d.m.: Word, I don't mind you saying that it is a mild mental disorder, because it truly is. I'm just happy that I aint suicidal and that I'm out of the moderate-heavy depression that I was in a few years ago. It's as true as it gets, but it's still exhausting to be pessimistic, unmotivated and not giving a fuck tho'. Perhaps saying that I have no options is wrong, it's just that I didn't think about my options (now I do). I guess the first thing I'm going to try is exhaust myself. I'll start with today. Already tired as fuck but I'll call someone and get my ass out the door. I'm going to check out the sleep doctors thing and see where I can take those tests you speak of. One thing at a time tho', don't want to rush things. I'll start with forcing myself to get out more even if I don't really feel like it. When I get used to that, I'll get back to working out in a gym again. Been slacking in that department.

The only thing I don't understand is why I should quit alcohol? It's not like I'm addicted to it or anything, and it's not something I do every weekend like a lot of my friends do. I don't think I'd be able to quit it 100%, it is one of the things that keep me social with a lot of people instead of hanging out with a small group. And let's be honest here, you're mentioning chicks, the best places to get to know them is at parties and/or while drunk. It's also the main thing for me to get to know new people as I don't care to talk to them unless I'm drunk. Finding a girlfriend is perhaps the next step, but yo, being in a relationship is tiring as fuck. I'd rather just keep with the one night stands for now. Can't be bothered with a bitch hanging out in my crib all the time, or be pissed off at me when the summer comes along and I'd rather go out skating instead of being with her. (I know this from experience.) Nah man, I love being single.

namix: Word about what you said that lucid dreaming can be dangerous as well. It doesn't end up happening when I'm awake, alltho' I have started ''dreaming/hallucinating'' after being awake for 50+ hours, sleep deprivation is one hell of a drug, haha. I know I'm not dreaming if I can't change my surroundings, that's my way of finding out if I'm dreaming or not.

[veritas]

Chick is optional, sleep is not.

Alcohol messes up the sleep and antidepressants

[Objective]

c.d.m.: My old therapist said tho'; It takes 2-3 weeks to mess up/fixing a sleeping pattern, just make sure that you either 1. Wake up at a designated time, if you get home at 4.AM and sleep, make sure you wake up at 8.AM as usual and go to bed at midnight or do an all-nighter. (I need app. 8 hours of sleep every night. When we made my sleeping schedule I tried going to sleep at midnight and wake up at 8 for some time (2-3 months), but I never managed to do so and gave up.)

And; If you absolutely got to drink; Take medication in the morning, skip it at night and then again at night the next day. That way it wont fuck up the anti-deps. Was he wrong by saying this shit?

And word @ sleeping meds, but I don't know if I'm up for anti-depressants again. That shit is scary as fuck. It's SERIOUSLY SCARY SHIT.

[zygote]

Do not use the laptop or mobile phone/mini computer IPOD from your sleeping area. Here is what helped me, realizing 8 hours is too long for sleeping. I found that 4-5 hours is optimal, try it for a few days you may be surprised at the results. Wake early in the day and use extra time for some personal project or work project, it is very peaceful leaving feelings of refreshment.

[Objective]

zygote: I appreciate your reply but you'd have to read more to understand what I'm dealing with. I know about laptops/smartphones not being the essential thing to have around because the light fools your brain to believe it's daytime. I can't calm down when I'm trying to sleep, I get energetic when nothing happens due to thought processes etc. so lying down (or simple activities such as reading a book etc.) ends up having the opposite effect. Sleep is also extremely individual, what works for you (4-5 hours) might not be enough for me (8 hours), some people even need 10 hours.

And seeing how I can't sleep for 30-40 hours every now and then, trying out your formula is impossible (atm) to begin with.

[zygote]

"The light fools your brain to believe it's daytime" - The main concern is not that it's tricking the brain into thinking it is day time, the main concern is the process of association. Psychologist on here like CDM or deadman can explain it better, but basically by doing those activities and being restless in the sleeping area, the brain is associating 'staying awake' with the sleeping area.

[Chyeahhh!!!]

best writing and researching time are those sleepless nights for me. If sleep is the cousin of death, I cheat death most nights of the week :)

[veritas]

The problem here is mental illness...the Brain needs healing, and sleep is the brain's best friend. So to cure objectives dsythmia, sleep (consistent) is the key

[Frank]

Objective. You have time on your hands. Now go vote on every battle in the Topical league. Be productive. When you have completed todays task, I will have Veritas subscribe you horse tranquilizer, so you can take a nice long nap.

[Ghost1]

subscribe? lol

[Frank]

dont watch me - watch tv

wasup bags?

[Ghost1]

watch ur tone.

[super pimp trillionaire]

Watch the throne

[Frank]

Word son.

Check that battle with your boy pent up.

Everything comes around full circle. Believe dat.

[God Of War]

Objective. You have time on your hands. Now go vote on every battle in the Topical league. Be productive. When you have completed todays task, I will have Veritas subscribe you horse tranquilizer, so you can take a nice long nap.


lmao after reading every post in here this has entertained me the most

[Objective]

Frank: I only vote when I don't give half-ass reads. Half-ass reads means bad votes and I don't like to be that guy. Sometimes I enjoy reading the shit, but dissecting verses and think about who's better is a lot of work in the topical league as the battles are often close af, often I aint got enough patience to do that. I'll see what I can do about voting every now and then, but don't expect me to vote on everything I read unless I plan on dissecting the shit before throwing up a vote.

zygote: My sleeping area is usually the couch, because when I can finally sleep I'm too tired to walk into the bedroom. My bedroom doesn't have a TV and shit like that. I stay away from the smartphone while trying to sleep in my bed, but once I lay down (or get up) I get energetic and I have to do something. Another issue I might have is that I've learned myself to think that trying to is counter productive rather than just sleeping when the chance is there. Idk.. Simply reading a book doesn't cut it as I get bored even if I like the book. I need to be in the mood to read or do less activy activities for it do ''be worth it''.
Even when I should be tired enough to sleep I get energetic when I lay down. I know what you're getting at tho', and you're right. Humans get used to habits as the brain gets used to the shit you do etc. But it's not as easy as it sounds. If you had experienced the shit I do yourself you'd know. If it had worked I'd do it.

c.d.m.: Allright, I'll try to quit alcohol for a while and see how it goes. Called a friend and went to his crib today tho'. We don't have KFC in Norway, but he had found a recipe n shit and made some himself for all of us. Chilled out with movies and PS3 etc. Today is a day I'd normally just stay home and do nothing, but I'll admit it was cool hanging out with him again. Either way, I got a headache early on tho', around 9:00pm (was at his place 5pm.) When I got home and relaxed by myself again the headache dissapeared. Idk why.

[Ghost1]

We dont have kfc in norway he says?

Sum1 mod this guy in the battle arena, STAT

[veritas]

that avy is killing....you stupid fag.