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View Full Version : ...or is it I who has penetrated you?


e11even
01-23-2014, 04:23 AM
Picture this..... black magic-bearing cauldrons,
Krags of scary majins, wary.
Crafted fairies mashed the varied pauldrons
Fastened to the passing ferry monsters.
The power mastered in the passion carried
Fashioned eerie haunters....

The world's power imbalance but dairy
To the casters rarely cautioned.
For the merry're in casks of berries maxing,
lacking any conscience.
Blaspheming, daring, outlasting any comers...
Til the ordinary bred more than very
Extraordinary promise.

Swords exhorting hairy hominids
In a flurry of fares from summiting stairs
To horizontal prairie dominiance.
He arose a nose ahead, although his heir's of commoners.
The mare attached, firey flare intact,
They bear attacks to repair the tears the tyrants ripped.

Gladiator glacial steps,
Cards all placed til ace was left.
The burden placed on a mage's steps,
"I come for whom has claimed his hex."
The aging mage exchanged a vexed
Expression... "vague, this entire age is of death..."

"So let us all be welcomed!" He braced and crept.
Slain, all wicked and foul, with a razing contempt.
Grazing at glimpse, all felt his hate for each imp.
Each crimson spray indicated his decaying within.
Til the fantastic that prey were at bay, to the dismay of him.
Left this baron domain, with no water or grain,
Pangs remain with no bains to reign against.

Insane, what one became
was the same, as flames of his shame radiated within.

dull boy
01-23-2014, 07:13 AM
Amazing scheming. This was dope to read.

Exis
01-23-2014, 10:47 AM
Fuck man...this was ill.Ima echo what dull said and say your schemin' was awesome...content is nice as all shit, talk about keepin' a piece consistent phew!...I really don't wanna quote stuff 'cause as a whole it's brilliant but I'll try pick out some shit for ya.

He arose a nose ahead, although his heir's of commoners.
The mare attached, firey flare intact,
They bear attacks to repair the tears the tyrants ripped.

Gladiator glacial steps,
Cards all placed til ace was left.
The burden placed on a mage's steps,
"I come for whom has claimed his hex."
The aging mage exchanged a vexed
Expression... "vague, this entire age is of death..."

^^Flames.

Each crimson spray indicated his decaying within.
Til the fantastic that prey were at bay, to the dismay of him.
Left this baron domain, with no water or grain,
Pangs remain with no bains to reign against.

Insane, what one became
was the same, as flames of his shame radiated within.

^^Dope closer.

Great read fam...thoroughly enjoyable in every way.

Stay upwards.

Split
01-23-2014, 10:50 AM
cool read u should translate it tho

e11even
01-23-2014, 01:20 PM
Thanks for the feed guys.


Translation: Jay-z quoted Two Face, "You can either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain"

I'll leave it at that.

Geno
01-23-2014, 09:14 PM
this was pretty dope, I'm starting to find your posts very gravitational to me. I'm beginning to find a lot of enjoyment in your writing lately man. cool vocal and the schemes were awesome, good format and very audio friendly. dug this all the way around vv

Verb
01-23-2014, 10:36 PM
This was pretty dope I loved the flow and the imagery you can tell a story pretty well. I loved the poetic structure and the scheming in this piece. It has great diction as well I could completely here this on audio. good work.

e11even
01-24-2014, 12:57 AM
Thanks geyes.

Dope girl
01-24-2014, 07:58 PM
This was so Awesome, hoping hear this on audio, Enjoyment on point.

10/10